“If I may say so …” It was around the third day of taking care of Albert where the headaches got so bad that I could hardly ignore them anymore. And so, I decided it was time to hole myself up completely, either until I could protect myself from it or it was resolved on its own. In a sense, I was even looking forward to it, mostly because these gods must sent part of themselves to hurt me. I wasn’t able to sense it, but I did hope I would do so with time. This way, I could hopefully ascend to a real goddess sometime. I still hated them for it.
“… but your leave may …” But I still had to tell Charles and the pope I would leave, which naturally wasn’t accepted that well.
With searing headaches and ringing ears, I could hardly listen to them, but I could still guess what they were trying to say.
“I am aware that it is sudden, but my heart tells me to go. Someone needs to stop this fiend … to often in my past I was powerless as others were hurt, but I feel like I can do something this time.” I explained, ignoring the headache as much as possible.
“What about …” and I didn’t get more from that sentence, no matter how much I tried. Still sitting completely upright an dummy usual smile on my face, I still kept smiling at them, knowing full well that Hannah behind me would chime in for me.
“… protect her.” I heard as soon as the ringing lessened a bit, never leaving me for good.
“I never knew I would meet you personally … the nameless soldier who fought valiantly for honour and the peace of the kingdom. Who could have guessed you are one of her supporters?” The king answered and grabbed his chin while looking at Hannah and me.
“It doesn’t matter who she is. I do have faith in her, and that’s all that matters. I’ll also be travelling incognito as we don’t want to put that much of a target on our back.” I said and smiled brilliantly while putting my hand on Hannah’s shoulder.
“So you really will go a mo…” And once again, I could hear absolutely nothing for the rest of the conversation. I naturally tried read their lips, but it was hard to concentrate when a sledgehammer hit my head every two seconds or so. And so, I remained largely silent and let Hannah do the talking.
She apparently did succeed in convincing the two of them, but mostly because they had no other choice but to agree. Officially I was the head of the church and I had never lived in the palace for good reason, mostly because I wanted to stay independent.
And then, Hannah stood up, making me do exactly the same.
“May the gods be with you.” I said and curtsied until Hannah turned around and walked out if the room. Waving at the two of them, I followed right behind her quietly, pulling the red hat deeper deeper.
A few minutes later, we were already back in the soundproof carriage and I started giggling a bit tiredly. I might have lost my sense of time a little because after I had closed my eyes for a second or so, we were already back at Tom’s mansion.
It was only then I noticed my soul was damaged quite badly, with the system acting up from time to time which did hurt me even more. Well, at least it showed all the gods finally made some progress. But it also meant that the damage my soul had taken was beyond the critical point, making me a danger for everyone and myself.
If I was provoked that was. Luckily, she did manage to bring me near Albert, which did apparently calm my worried heart down somewhat.
Carefully, she brought me a bottle of blood and sat down in front of me. I must have looked like a mess, mostly because I was either giggling like crazy or groaning quite loudly.
Eventually, she gave me a hug and left me alone in my misery which was probably the right decision.
At first, I looked at the still sweating Albert and then over to the shelve. Standing up with wobbly legs, I stumbled over towards it and nearly bumped into it. Afterwards, I grabbed a nearby knife and stabbed it into my arm. Somewhat freed from all the pain at once, I looked around the room and then ran out of it right away. I knew very well it would only get worse from this point, and directly scooted towards the room where Tom had all the blood. Ignoring my bleeding arm, I carried bottle after bottle towards Albert, not even caring if it was animal blood or not.
And then, as I finally had enough for a month or so, I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it tightly. That way, nobody would interfere.
Getting rid of my dress at once, I stepped onto Alberts bed and laid down right next to him. And then, the next wave of pain nearly knocked me out. The pain drove me crazy nearly instantly.
Grabbing the knife, I pulled it out of the wound and started stabbing my arm in delight. I rarely felt so turned on by myself without anyone of my bloodline close to me.
Finally nobody was looking. Finally I could live out the craziest side of me which I didn’t want anyone to see.
Giggling happily, I snuggled up close to Albert and filled my own mouth with blood. Leaning over to him, I kissed him on his mouth, force feeding him what tasted so disgusting for me. His warm chest let me began to desire his diminishing life. I wanted to tear it our of him with my own hands … I wanted to feel it.
Straddling his belly, I drew circles with my index finger, right above his still beating heart.
“You know … I really want to feel life. It’s my greatest desire … can you help me with that?” I asked and giggled crazily. Placing the knife right above his heart, I looked towards his mouth dyed red in my blood and shook my head.
“… what am I … doing?” I asked quietly, threw the knife away and collapsed right beside him, painting his chest red with my still bleeding arm.
Thankfully, my vampiric instincts stopped me from murdering the one who I chose to bear my blood. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have survived that day.
Closing my eyes, I snuggled up to him once more and laid my cheek onto his shoulder. And then, I drifted off into a nightmare.
I loved those though … what I didn’t love was how I awoke in then middle of the night, my degrading once more considerably. And with a degrading soul came more craziness and mood swings.
Death seeped out of my soul, nit even close to affecting reality, but it did affect me. Grabbing a bottle of blood, I lifted it above my head and tried to catch the blood with my mouth which went hilariously wrong. Having spilt so much blood all over my body, my underwear already turned red. Grinning wryly, I grabbed the knife and followed my single most desire greedily. Stepping onto the bed and straddling his belly, I could feel the ground swaying beneath me … maybe that was just my head exploding in pain. Screaming loudly, I rammed the knife through my hand and steadied myself using the other.
Then, I started laughing hard as the first few drops landed in his open mouth and he gulped them down instinctively.
“You know … I really do want a family …” I muttered, suddenly feeling very exhausted and collapsed onto him. Pulling the knife out of my hand weakly, I laid it on his chest and closed my eyes a little. “I do have Aska … but I think I want more than that … maybe you are just a replacement … for the child I’ll never have … but even then … it won’t … won’t work.” I muttered, not even thinking about what I was saying and closed my eyes, only to be carried away by another wave of pain.
The time I came to my senses must have been in the middle of some night. I didn’t actually know how much time had actually passed, but it really didn’t matter.
Because as the hint of reasoning returned, I was just biting my tongue and pressed it into his mouth aggressively. Then, I shook my head a bit and looked inwards. The tick on my soul was still wrecking around aggressively but much to my surprise, the barriers I had put into place seemed adapt to their new challenges and started blocking off the others gods assault. It was only a little, but it still felt immensely satisfying to know I could trouble them.
Lifting my upper body up from Albert, I noticed the bottle of blood in my right hand and drank all of it. It was animal blood, but I only cared about getting back to full strength before I would lose all of my reasoning once more.
“I’m sorry Albert … I know I’m crazy … but I do hope you can forgive me someday …” I muttered and took his hands into mine. He felt so much like Tom already when I got close to him. But he was still different in a way I couldn’t describe right away. Closing my eyes and laying my ear upon his heart, I listened to his slow heartbeat and enjoyed his warmth one last time.
Maybe it was luck, or maybe instinct, but I was lucky to witness his last heartbeat, starting my feelings driven by my instincts for real. It was only then I noticed why Tom and Albert felt so different when I played around with them. Tom made me exited for more, but with Albert, I didn’t have that. He was far too young for that and way more innocent that Tom. With Albert, I felt the need to soothe him, to make him feel loved, if only a little bit.
Smiling brightly, I didn’t even care as my soul exploded into thousand pieces and the lock I had on the system vanished completely. It changed right underneath my nose, something I usually didn’t want to. It didn’t change much though. A little change there, a small change here and that was it. As soon as the gods were finished with their work, the world shook beneath me, causing tremors to travel through the earth right underneath the capital city. It was thankfully only a little earthquake, but the first one the capital city ever experienced.
With a shattered soul, unable to see anything happening outside, I was quite glad that the gods left me alone afterwards and I started erecting my barriers once more, strengthened by their assault. Imprisoned in my own body which was driven solely by instincts, I started piercing myself together shortly afterwards piece by piece. And that honestly took a long time doing it myself.
“If I may say so …” It was around the third day of taking care of Albert where the headaches got so bad that I could hardly ignore them anymore. And so, I decided it was time to hole myself up completely, either until I could protect myself from it or it was resolved on its own. In a sense, I was even looking forward to it, mostly because these gods must sent part of themselves to hurt me. I wasn’t able to sense it, but I did hope I would do so with time. This way, I could hopefully ascend to a real goddess sometime. I still hated them for it.
“… but your leave may …” But I still had to tell Charles and the pope I would leave, which naturally wasn’t accepted that well.
With searing headaches and ringing ears, I could hardly listen to them, but I could still guess what they were trying to say.
“I am aware that it is sudden, but my heart tells me to go. Someone needs to stop this fiend … to often in my past I was powerless as others were hurt, but I feel like I can do something this time.” I explained, ignoring the headache as much as possible.
“What about …” and I didn’t get more from that sentence, no matter how much I tried. Still sitting completely upright an dummy usual smile on my face, I still kept smiling at them, knowing full well that Hannah behind me would chime in for me.
“… protect her.” I heard as soon as the ringing lessened a bit, never leaving me for good.
“I never knew I would meet you personally … the nameless soldier who fought valiantly for honour and the peace of the kingdom. Who could have guessed you are one of her supporters?” The king answered and grabbed his chin while looking at Hannah and me.
“It doesn’t matter who she is. I do have faith in her, and that’s all that matters. I’ll also be travelling incognito as we don’t want to put that much of a target on our back.” I said and smiled brilliantly while putting my hand on Hannah’s shoulder.
“So you really will go a mo…” And once again, I could hear absolutely nothing for the rest of the conversation. I naturally tried read their lips, but it was hard to concentrate when a sledgehammer hit my head every two seconds or so. And so, I remained largely silent and let Hannah do the talking.
She apparently did succeed in convincing the two of them, but mostly because they had no other choice but to agree. Officially I was the head of the church and I had never lived in the palace for good reason, mostly because I wanted to stay independent.
And then, Hannah stood up, making me do exactly the same.
“May the gods be with you.” I said and curtsied until Hannah turned around and walked out if the room. Waving at the two of them, I followed right behind her quietly, pulling the red hat deeper deeper.
A few minutes later, we were already back in the soundproof carriage and I started giggling a bit tiredly. I might have lost my sense of time a little because after I had closed my eyes for a second or so, we were already back at Tom’s mansion.
It was only then I noticed my soul was damaged quite badly, with the system acting up from time to time which did hurt me even more. Well, at least it showed all the gods finally made some progress. But it also meant that the damage my soul had taken was beyond the critical point, making me a danger for everyone and myself.
If I was provoked that was. Luckily, she did manage to bring me near Albert, which did apparently calm my worried heart down somewhat.
Carefully, she brought me a bottle of blood and sat down in front of me. I must have looked like a mess, mostly because I was either giggling like crazy or groaning quite loudly.
Eventually, she gave me a hug and left me alone in my misery which was probably the right decision.
At first, I looked at the still sweating Albert and then over to the shelve. Standing up with wobbly legs, I stumbled over towards it and nearly bumped into it. Afterwards, I grabbed a nearby knife and stabbed it into my arm. Somewhat freed from all the pain at once, I looked around the room and then ran out of it right away. I knew very well it would only get worse from this point, and directly scooted towards the room where Tom had all the blood. Ignoring my bleeding arm, I carried bottle after bottle towards Albert, not even caring if it was animal blood or not.
And then, as I finally had enough for a month or so, I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it tightly. That way, nobody would interfere.
Getting rid of my dress at once, I stepped onto Alberts bed and laid down right next to him. And then, the next wave of pain nearly knocked me out. The pain drove me crazy nearly instantly.
Grabbing the knife, I pulled it out of the wound and started stabbing my arm in delight. I rarely felt so turned on by myself without anyone of my bloodline close to me.
Finally nobody was looking. Finally I could live out the craziest side of me which I didn’t want anyone to see.
Giggling happily, I snuggled up close to Albert and filled my own mouth with blood. Leaning over to him, I kissed him on his mouth, force feeding him what tasted so disgusting for me. His warm chest let me began to desire his diminishing life. I wanted to tear it our of him with my own hands … I wanted to feel it.
Straddling his belly, I drew circles with my index finger, right above his still beating heart.
“You know … I really want to feel life. It’s my greatest desire … can you help me with that?” I asked and giggled crazily. Placing the knife right above his heart, I looked towards his mouth dyed red in my blood and shook my head.
“… what am I … doing?” I asked quietly, threw the knife away and collapsed right beside him, painting his chest red with my still bleeding arm.
Thankfully, my vampiric instincts stopped me from murdering the one who I chose to bear my blood. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have survived that day.
Closing my eyes, I snuggled up to him once more and laid my cheek onto his shoulder. And then, I drifted off into a nightmare.
I loved those though … what I didn’t love was how I awoke in then middle of the night, my degrading once more considerably. And with a degrading soul came more craziness and mood swings.
Death seeped out of my soul, nit even close to affecting reality, but it did affect me. Grabbing a bottle of blood, I lifted it above my head and tried to catch the blood with my mouth which went hilariously wrong. Having spilt so much blood all over my body, my underwear already turned red. Grinning wryly, I grabbed the knife and followed my single most desire greedily. Stepping onto the bed and straddling his belly, I could feel the ground swaying beneath me … maybe that was just my head exploding in pain. Screaming loudly, I rammed the knife through my hand and steadied myself using the other.
Then, I started laughing hard as the first few drops landed in his open mouth and he gulped them down instinctively.
“You know … I really do want a family …” I muttered, suddenly feeling very exhausted and collapsed onto him. Pulling the knife out of my hand weakly, I laid it on his chest and closed my eyes a little. “I do have Aska … but I think I want more than that … maybe you are just a replacement … for the child I’ll never have … but even then … it won’t … won’t work.” I muttered, not even thinking about what I was saying and closed my eyes, only to be carried away by another wave of pain.
The time I came to my senses must have been in the middle of some night. I didn’t actually know how much time had actually passed, but it really didn’t matter.
Because as the hint of reasoning returned, I was just biting my tongue and pressed it into his mouth aggressively. Then, I shook my head a bit and looked inwards. The tick on my soul was still wrecking around aggressively but much to my surprise, the barriers I had put into place seemed adapt to their new challenges and started blocking off the others gods assault. It was only a little, but it still felt immensely satisfying to know I could trouble them.
Lifting my upper body up from Albert, I noticed the bottle of blood in my right hand and drank all of it. It was animal blood, but I only cared about getting back to full strength before I would lose all of my reasoning once more.
“I’m sorry Albert … I know I’m crazy … but I do hope you can forgive me someday …” I muttered and took his hands into mine. He felt so much like Tom already when I got close to him. But he was still different in a way I couldn’t describe right away. Closing my eyes and laying my ear upon his heart, I listened to his slow heartbeat and enjoyed his warmth one last time.
Maybe it was luck, or maybe instinct, but I was lucky to witness his last heartbeat, starting my feelings driven by my instincts for real. It was only then I noticed why Tom and Albert felt so different when I played around with them. Tom made me exited for more, but with Albert, I didn’t have that. He was far too young for that and way more innocent that Tom. With Albert, I felt the need to soothe him, to make him feel loved, if only a little bit.
Smiling brightly, I didn’t even care as my soul exploded into thousand pieces and the lock I had on the system vanished completely. It changed right underneath my nose, something I usually didn’t want to. It didn’t change much though. A little change there, a small change here and that was it. As soon as the gods were finished with their work, the world shook beneath me, causing tremors to travel through the earth right underneath the capital city. It was thankfully only a little earthquake, but the first one the capital city ever experienced.
With a shattered soul, unable to see anything happening outside, I was quite glad that the gods left me alone afterwards and I started erecting my barriers once more, strengthened by their assault. Imprisoned in my own body which was driven solely by instincts, I started piercing myself together shortly afterwards piece by piece. And that honestly took a long time doing it myself.
