“Uhg …” I woke up drowsy, in a dark bedroom with very few windows in it. Laying on a comfortable bed with my limbs sprawling in every direction, I instantly noticed two things. For once, the northern duke laid on top of me, butt naked and probably very dead.
Well, these things did happen when I took drugs, so I wasn’t exactly worried about that. What did made a mess out of my mind though were the twins, laying by my side equally naked as I was. They hugged my arm tightly and directed my fingers to a place I didn’t want to touch at all.
And then, my memories returned. I was a master at doing so, even though I wished for the opposite at that point.
I had sex. I had intercourse with their father … and I had fucked them as well. I had done what Aska did to me even though I had sworn myself to never touch my children, or those who could potentially be that one day. I just … wanted to be a better parent then he was for me. But … I fucked that up mere weeks after I had conceived Luna. I thought that my experience made me a bit different from him, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
I did. The same. Shit. He did. To me.
And I wasn’t entirely sure I would refrain from hurting Luna because she didn’t learn fast enough, or that I wouldn’t force myself onto her as well … or all the other shit Aska did to me.
“Mum …” Clara muttered in her sleep which drove me even more into despair.
“No … no I’m not. No … and no forever. I just … I just can’t. I’m the worst … the worst mother one could imagine.” I hit my own head several times, still buried under the duke until tears left my eyes. I didn’t want to be like Aska … if anything, I craved to have anything separating me from him … but my fate was apparently to end up exactly like him.
And I hated that. Furiously, I rolled the duke off me with newfound strength, gathered all my stuff in the room and wore it once more – naturally after cleaning myself a little. Then, I walked out of the door and met Hannah, leaning onto the other side of the hallway with her eyes closed.
“You could have stopped me, you know?” I looked at her for a bit, but couldn’t bring myself to be angry at her.
“It took me half a day to find you because you guys took a secret passageway I didn’t know about. And when I found you again, you were already done.” She shrugged a bit and feigned to be completely disinterested in my mental state but I could see the opposite was true.
“I’m sorry for stumbling across something like that … sorry for being mean, it wasn’t your fault. I’m just … so done.” Did I hurt her with that? I wasn’t sure … but it was the last thing I wanted.
“So that’s your thing now? Depression?” Apparently it was. There was just sadness engulfing my whole being and nothing more.
“Yeah … until something irks me again and I freak out … at least all the pain is gone for now.” And I could think clearly. I had no idea what kind of mix I took, but it surely worked wonders in that regard. “Okay then, what’s on my plate today?”
“A lot of talking I guess.” Great. That was one of my favourite activities. Sighing bored and still depressed, I followed Hannah back into the throne room through several hidden passages until we were back where I lost my sanity the night before. But this time, the sun shone into the room, painting the floor in different colours thanks to the glass.
Alone, I sat down on my throne and rested my chin on my hand again as it got boring relatively quickly and my mind wandered off again.
I had proven that I was unfit to be a parent after all and that thought gripped my heart. But I had no time to think about it. There was still a lot to do and with my health going down the drain, it was only a matter of time until I had to return, if one ignored the task I gave the heroes which limited my time as well.
“Okay … where are all the servants?” Usually there were quite a lot around the king, but the room was devoid of any life except Hannah’s.
“Most probably don’t feel very safe considering your race.” Just because we were prone to overreacting, slaughtering their kind and feeding on humans, we were seen as dangerous? They certainly hadn’t seen all the creatures in purgatory!
“So they all are a bunch of racists … don’t we have ministers for everything? Where are they?” I was damn sure there was a minister for sewage, so there had to be someone around.
“Uhm … they are all nobles who swore allegiance to the old king. Considering your plans … they want to see you fail.” And another bunch of people who didn’t like me at all.
“This is why I never wanted to rule. It’s all nagging and nagging without end. Hang them … okay, don’t hang them. Is there anyone who hasn’t left?” I asked a little bit desperate. I had taken over the throne, but without people, ruling could turn out rather difficult.
“I believe I saw a maid earlier … but she might have stolen stuff now that I think about it.” Great … the only servant I had left was a thief. And not a good one at that.
“Okay, you know what? Why am I even bothering? Where is the pope?” If this country turned out to be unrulable, I would just force them to rule themselves.
“Maybe in front of the door?” Hannah asked as oblivious as I and strode towards the door. Surprisingly, my closest aide turned out be correct in her assumption as the pope entered together with someone who I barely recognised as the commander of the first army, currently defending the city against the undead.
“First things first, I am still the saint. The support of the gods I have hasn’t diminished in the slightest, so please keep that in mind. Now, how can I help you?” I faced the general first, mostly because I needed to sway him if possible.
“Is it true you command the army of undead in the vicinity along with the dragons over our heads?” Oh, so he did come because of security concerns. And there I was, hoping he arrived here because he had some leftover cake.
“The army will march on as soon as you open all the gates except the outer one. I want people to travel freely between the commoner district and the palace.” I was pretty sure they wouldn’t open the outer gates with hordes of undead on their doorstep, so I didn’t even bother asking for that.
“I firmly believe this to be a bad idea. The criminals in the common-“ Luckily I had two ears. One was useful for taking in the airflow and the other one for letting it out again. His excuses were that pitiful that I couldn’t be bothered to listen to them.
“Stop generalising everyone. Crime is just an expression of lacking alternatives.” It truly was. If I could have gotten the sole ruler of this country without spilling blood, I would have done so. That was the citizens wouldn’t look at me with a bit of fear in their eyes.
“I will keep that in mind.” He told me, bowed deeply and left quickly. At least he was willing to listen to me for sake of the people living in the city.
“My saint … is it true that a god has arrived on this planet?” Well, that wasn’t a difficult question to answer, was it? On the one side there was telling him the truth, and admitting there was another being he should swear locality to, and on the other side there was lying.
“No it’s not. The being which entered this world is of another nature altogether.” I needed his cooperation at all cost. Luckily, Aska wasn’t there to disprove my claim otherwise I would be in trouble.
“I see.” He thus said, firmly believing my claim right away. I really did love the faith he had in me. I could have murdered his family and claimed it was the will of the gods … and he still wouldn’t hate me. Religion was the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It was the opium of the people … in more than one regard.
“As you can see, I’m pretty much alone in the throne right now. Your help is much appreciated in every regard. Can you remember the list of special people you had made for me?” I asked while Hannah rummaged through her backpack and gave him a shortened one of those we assumed to be reincarnators. “We need to put these people under house arrest in the palace at all cost. Otherwise the creature which had escaped purgatory might target them or even worse, attempt to pull them onto its side. We cannot allow that.”
“If I may ask, where is this creature? I presume your undead are everywhere?” What a tricky question the pope had for me. Presumably the whole world was filled with my undead at this point which would theoretically enable me to find anyone out of the ordinary.
“It’s hiding … waiting for its chance to pry us apart with wicked means. It might even contact you, so keep that in mind.” It was a being out of purgatory … something otherworld which was hard to grasp with possibly even godlike abilities. At least that was what I wanted him to perceive Aska as.
“I will do that. Now, if you ex-“ He started, but I interrupted him halfway through.
“Before you go. I will meet everyone interested at the stairs to this palace. Please do convey that to as many people as possible.” I was smiling a little, kind of anticipating the conversations I would have with a bunch of commoners.
Because I knew for sure that could only end well for me.
“Uhg …” I woke up drowsy, in a dark bedroom with very few windows in it. Laying on a comfortable bed with my limbs sprawling in every direction, I instantly noticed two things. For once, the northern duke laid on top of me, butt naked and probably very dead.
Well, these things did happen when I took drugs, so I wasn’t exactly worried about that. What did made a mess out of my mind though were the twins, laying by my side equally naked as I was. They hugged my arm tightly and directed my fingers to a place I didn’t want to touch at all.
And then, my memories returned. I was a master at doing so, even though I wished for the opposite at that point.
I had sex. I had intercourse with their father … and I had fucked them as well. I had done what Aska did to me even though I had sworn myself to never touch my children, or those who could potentially be that one day. I just … wanted to be a better parent then he was for me. But … I fucked that up mere weeks after I had conceived Luna. I thought that my experience made me a bit different from him, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
I did. The same. Shit. He did. To me.
And I wasn’t entirely sure I would refrain from hurting Luna because she didn’t learn fast enough, or that I wouldn’t force myself onto her as well … or all the other shit Aska did to me.
“Mum …” Clara muttered in her sleep which drove me even more into despair.
“No … no I’m not. No … and no forever. I just … I just can’t. I’m the worst … the worst mother one could imagine.” I hit my own head several times, still buried under the duke until tears left my eyes. I didn’t want to be like Aska … if anything, I craved to have anything separating me from him … but my fate was apparently to end up exactly like him.
And I hated that. Furiously, I rolled the duke off me with newfound strength, gathered all my stuff in the room and wore it once more – naturally after cleaning myself a little. Then, I walked out of the door and met Hannah, leaning onto the other side of the hallway with her eyes closed.
“You could have stopped me, you know?” I looked at her for a bit, but couldn’t bring myself to be angry at her.
“It took me half a day to find you because you guys took a secret passageway I didn’t know about. And when I found you again, you were already done.” She shrugged a bit and feigned to be completely disinterested in my mental state but I could see the opposite was true.
“I’m sorry for stumbling across something like that … sorry for being mean, it wasn’t your fault. I’m just … so done.” Did I hurt her with that? I wasn’t sure … but it was the last thing I wanted.
“So that’s your thing now? Depression?” Apparently it was. There was just sadness engulfing my whole being and nothing more.
“Yeah … until something irks me again and I freak out … at least all the pain is gone for now.” And I could think clearly. I had no idea what kind of mix I took, but it surely worked wonders in that regard. “Okay then, what’s on my plate today?”
“A lot of talking I guess.” Great. That was one of my favourite activities. Sighing bored and still depressed, I followed Hannah back into the throne room through several hidden passages until we were back where I lost my sanity the night before. But this time, the sun shone into the room, painting the floor in different colours thanks to the glass.
Alone, I sat down on my throne and rested my chin on my hand again as it got boring relatively quickly and my mind wandered off again.
I had proven that I was unfit to be a parent after all and that thought gripped my heart. But I had no time to think about it. There was still a lot to do and with my health going down the drain, it was only a matter of time until I had to return, if one ignored the task I gave the heroes which limited my time as well.
“Okay … where are all the servants?” Usually there were quite a lot around the king, but the room was devoid of any life except Hannah’s.
“Most probably don’t feel very safe considering your race.” Just because we were prone to overreacting, slaughtering their kind and feeding on humans, we were seen as dangerous? They certainly hadn’t seen all the creatures in purgatory!
“So they all are a bunch of racists … don’t we have ministers for everything? Where are they?” I was damn sure there was a minister for sewage, so there had to be someone around.
“Uhm … they are all nobles who swore allegiance to the old king. Considering your plans … they want to see you fail.” And another bunch of people who didn’t like me at all.
“This is why I never wanted to rule. It’s all nagging and nagging without end. Hang them … okay, don’t hang them. Is there anyone who hasn’t left?” I asked a little bit desperate. I had taken over the throne, but without people, ruling could turn out rather difficult.
“I believe I saw a maid earlier … but she might have stolen stuff now that I think about it.” Great … the only servant I had left was a thief. And not a good one at that.
“Okay, you know what? Why am I even bothering? Where is the pope?” If this country turned out to be unrulable, I would just force them to rule themselves.
“Maybe in front of the door?” Hannah asked as oblivious as I and strode towards the door. Surprisingly, my closest aide turned out be correct in her assumption as the pope entered together with someone who I barely recognised as the commander of the first army, currently defending the city against the undead.
“First things first, I am still the saint. The support of the gods I have hasn’t diminished in the slightest, so please keep that in mind. Now, how can I help you?” I faced the general first, mostly because I needed to sway him if possible.
“Is it true you command the army of undead in the vicinity along with the dragons over our heads?” Oh, so he did come because of security concerns. And there I was, hoping he arrived here because he had some leftover cake.
“The army will march on as soon as you open all the gates except the outer one. I want people to travel freely between the commoner district and the palace.” I was pretty sure they wouldn’t open the outer gates with hordes of undead on their doorstep, so I didn’t even bother asking for that.
“I firmly believe this to be a bad idea. The criminals in the common-“ Luckily I had two ears. One was useful for taking in the airflow and the other one for letting it out again. His excuses were that pitiful that I couldn’t be bothered to listen to them.
“Stop generalising everyone. Crime is just an expression of lacking alternatives.” It truly was. If I could have gotten the sole ruler of this country without spilling blood, I would have done so. That was the citizens wouldn’t look at me with a bit of fear in their eyes.
“I will keep that in mind.” He told me, bowed deeply and left quickly. At least he was willing to listen to me for sake of the people living in the city.
“My saint … is it true that a god has arrived on this planet?” Well, that wasn’t a difficult question to answer, was it? On the one side there was telling him the truth, and admitting there was another being he should swear locality to, and on the other side there was lying.
“No it’s not. The being which entered this world is of another nature altogether.” I needed his cooperation at all cost. Luckily, Aska wasn’t there to disprove my claim otherwise I would be in trouble.
“I see.” He thus said, firmly believing my claim right away. I really did love the faith he had in me. I could have murdered his family and claimed it was the will of the gods … and he still wouldn’t hate me. Religion was the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It was the opium of the people … in more than one regard.
“As you can see, I’m pretty much alone in the throne right now. Your help is much appreciated in every regard. Can you remember the list of special people you had made for me?” I asked while Hannah rummaged through her backpack and gave him a shortened one of those we assumed to be reincarnators. “We need to put these people under house arrest in the palace at all cost. Otherwise the creature which had escaped purgatory might target them or even worse, attempt to pull them onto its side. We cannot allow that.”
“If I may ask, where is this creature? I presume your undead are everywhere?” What a tricky question the pope had for me. Presumably the whole world was filled with my undead at this point which would theoretically enable me to find anyone out of the ordinary.
“It’s hiding … waiting for its chance to pry us apart with wicked means. It might even contact you, so keep that in mind.” It was a being out of purgatory … something otherworld which was hard to grasp with possibly even godlike abilities. At least that was what I wanted him to perceive Aska as.
“I will do that. Now, if you ex-“ He started, but I interrupted him halfway through.
“Before you go. I will meet everyone interested at the stairs to this palace. Please do convey that to as many people as possible.” I was smiling a little, kind of anticipating the conversations I would have with a bunch of commoners.
Because I knew for sure that could only end well for me.
