‘Lucinda?’ I was just eating nachos in my dream as my voice dragged me out of it into the small world just beneath the two stars.
“Why? I was just remembering how good food can taste when you don’t live on a world that knows nothing about a good meal.” I liked Solaris. I truly did. But the … the disgusting meals the inhabitants called food on this planet were just … not edible.
“I want to talk.” Lucy looked me in the eyes sternly, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to eat these nachos.
“Cool. Anyways, what happens if I set your side of this hill on fire?” I asked quietly rather for myself rather than her. After all, there was hardly anything to burn on my side so that question was indeed important – kind of.
“I want assurances.” And so did I. But I could t have them, mostly because all the people I dealt with didn’t give them out easily.
“And I want a banana. Seriously though, I would kill for a banana smoothie right now.” That was another meal I really missed. Well, Albert did invent a fridge so maybe … oh well, Lucy looked at me angrily, so I smiled to her right away.
“Lucinda, it’s important.” She placed her hands onto her hips while talking to me in a rather condescending tone.
“You are hurting the feelings of banana smoothies.” These drinks were important as well … maybe as important as what she wanted from me.
“I want to start the process of merging our souls.” Lucy dropped that bombshell without even bothering to wrap it in nice paper. Seriously though, I needed to have her on my side for that which also included dying and being reborn as something new, but that was way too quick in my opinion.
“… nope. Not until I dealt with Aska.” I didn’t know for sure what it meant to combine two souls into one and I definitely didn’t want to find out while I was dealing with my greatest enemy.
“Which Aska are we talking about? The female or the male version?” Lucy squinted her eyes dangerously as if she wanted to pick a fight with me.
“…” Truthfully though, I was agitated and considered punching her right then.
“As things stand, I’m dealing with two of them. And one is as trustworthy as the other.” Lucy told me while balling her hands to fists. And yet, they were trembling a little while I just looked into her eyes. And then, I let the matter drop. It would be unwise to fight her at that point, especially because we shared a body.
“I can’t see how I am ever going to betray you.” I stated truthfully. I already thought of quite a few ways and even giving in to Aska so that Luna could be revived for sure did cross my mind, but all the options I had were just worse in comparison to the plan we had at this point.
“That’s what you want me to think.” Lucy sadly did not believe my words. I could understand why though considering who and what I was.
“Why is everyone so paranoid these days?” Looking up towards the two stars, I rolled my eyes a little in an attempt to manipulate her into easing up a little.
“Because you are lying every second! You open your mouth and a lie spills out. So I want to start with merging our souls. Now.” She said, already walking towards her own door until I raised a few objections.
“It would be more efficient to wait a little longer. We could still fuse our souls together when this body is badly damaged after all.” I explained. At this point, my body was in perfect condition but nobody could tell how it would look like after we messed around even more.
“Now.” She told me once more.
“For fucks sake, I need you to pull this plan I have off.” I explained truthfully. Without her support, my chances of being free at this stage were non existent.
“That’s if you decide to go for that plan. You have more options than that, but I don’t.” Lucy really did value me a tad too highly, that was for sure. She seriously believed I was some kind of wonder child while at the same time she didn’t realise that I was backed into a corner with only one way out and that meant betting on her support.
“Or cooperation is starting of great.” I mumbled quietly, sadly still overheard by her.
“Do you think I want to be mean?” No, no she didn’t. If I understood anything about gods, it was that their element influenced their personality. A goddess of life would never find pleasure in being mean.
“Oh, shut up Lucy. Do you think I want to have you in my head? All you did so far was to hurt me and that’s all.” I complained loudly.
“I didn’t want to wake up in your head either! It’s horrible in here! Do you think I want to see how you throw the twins under the bus just because all the other options you have are worse? What about saving your friends? Huh?”
I was honestly furious at this point. Even though she was right with a few things, she was painting me in a really bad light. Kicking the dry plants to my feet, I stomped towards the door on my side and entered the library of my memories.
“I need the book how I met Sofie.” I growled angrily and swiftly caught it out of the air as it was flying towards me at breakneck speed. Then, I turned around on my heels and threw it onto the hill angrily.
“You want our souls to merge? Here you go, let’s share what makes us!” I screamed into the room and noticed how the book was slowly dissipating. But even when it was completely erased, I could still remember everything in it as it wasn’t saved in my soul anymore, but rather in a part that both of us shared. No matter what I would do after this, I wouldn’t be able to revert that process. “My emotions are manipulated just like yours. I like Sofie because she has more life within her than others. How fucked up is that? What’s next, do I hate people based on their dominant hand? Their skin colour?”
“That’s not …” Lucy mumbled, even though she must have understood I didn’t have it easy to find new friends.
“The only real friend I have left is Hannah … I’m just using the others and they are using me.” I told her quietly. Don’t get me wrong, I did want to save Sofie, but I also knew our friendship was influenced by why I was.
“The twins are your friends.” Lucy still stated.
“They see me as their mother … and we were intimate with each other. Each time I look at them it reminds me of what a horrible person I am … that I am exactly like Aska in every way whatsoever … I just want them to be gone at this point.” I told her truthfully.
“That is …”
“… you were right to ask me for assurances. I’m the worst … I just want to tear Aska apart for what he did but at the same time I know I did the exact things I hate him for. Despite all the love I feel for him, I want to put an end to his life … so in extension, I should end my own life as well.” I closed my eyes for a second, sighed loudly and walked back through the door which closed behind me, not letting anything else from me to become part of us. But there was something else I needed. “How did you erase your own body?”
Lucy looked at me a bit stunned and then opened her eyes wide as her door opened and revealed a lush garden with books floating around leisurely. One of these books was scooting towards us though and landed on her side of the hill before dissolving slowly. As soon as it vanished, I was able to recall her last moments on Elysium until the point where she shot herself with a bullet containing a contradiction which should not exist.
“So the idea is to find two opposing elements and fuse them into one … interesting.” A paradox would be able to erase this body and turn my soul inactive. As I thought, only something that defied the rules the gods made would be able get rid of one. Sadly, the god themselves have to give their agreement, otherwise they would be able to save their body … sadly, that meant that I couldn’t go around murdering gods this way.
“You are learning fast … so this is your second option? When everything goes haywire?” Lucy was still watching the point where that book dissipated, unsure what to do.
“Well, every material I need for that is already on Solaris … so yes. I’d rather fall into coma again rather than to see him succeed in his goals.” And thanks to our souls being connected already I would take her with me, no matter what. Either Lucy would go back to be dormant, or she would be able to live without Aska. And that could only be counted as a win for her.
Finally, she smiled a little bit and the flowers all around her bloomed vividly.
“Tell me you aren’t going to betray me at some point.” Lucy demanded which made me laugh loudly. She did live four hundreds years with Aska together, she should know that I would tell her that with a straight face and be capable of stabbing her shortly thereafter.
“… you should know better than that.” For the time being we had the same goals but that might change later on even though I seriously hoped it wouldn’t. Because one thing was for sure.
We had started fusing our souls into one without any way to reverse the process.
‘Lucinda?’ I was just eating nachos in my dream as my voice dragged me out of it into the small world just beneath the two stars.
“Why? I was just remembering how good food can taste when you don’t live on a world that knows nothing about a good meal.” I liked Solaris. I truly did. But the … the disgusting meals the inhabitants called food on this planet were just … not edible.
“I want to talk.” Lucy looked me in the eyes sternly, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to eat these nachos.
“Cool. Anyways, what happens if I set your side of this hill on fire?” I asked quietly rather for myself rather than her. After all, there was hardly anything to burn on my side so that question was indeed important – kind of.
“I want assurances.” And so did I. But I could t have them, mostly because all the people I dealt with didn’t give them out easily.
“And I want a banana. Seriously though, I would kill for a banana smoothie right now.” That was another meal I really missed. Well, Albert did invent a fridge so maybe … oh well, Lucy looked at me angrily, so I smiled to her right away.
“Lucinda, it’s important.” She placed her hands onto her hips while talking to me in a rather condescending tone.
“You are hurting the feelings of banana smoothies.” These drinks were important as well … maybe as important as what she wanted from me.
“I want to start the process of merging our souls.” Lucy dropped that bombshell without even bothering to wrap it in nice paper. Seriously though, I needed to have her on my side for that which also included dying and being reborn as something new, but that was way too quick in my opinion.
“… nope. Not until I dealt with Aska.” I didn’t know for sure what it meant to combine two souls into one and I definitely didn’t want to find out while I was dealing with my greatest enemy.
“Which Aska are we talking about? The female or the male version?” Lucy squinted her eyes dangerously as if she wanted to pick a fight with me.
“…” Truthfully though, I was agitated and considered punching her right then.
“As things stand, I’m dealing with two of them. And one is as trustworthy as the other.” Lucy told me while balling her hands to fists. And yet, they were trembling a little while I just looked into her eyes. And then, I let the matter drop. It would be unwise to fight her at that point, especially because we shared a body.
“I can’t see how I am ever going to betray you.” I stated truthfully. I already thought of quite a few ways and even giving in to Aska so that Luna could be revived for sure did cross my mind, but all the options I had were just worse in comparison to the plan we had at this point.
“That’s what you want me to think.” Lucy sadly did not believe my words. I could understand why though considering who and what I was.
“Why is everyone so paranoid these days?” Looking up towards the two stars, I rolled my eyes a little in an attempt to manipulate her into easing up a little.
“Because you are lying every second! You open your mouth and a lie spills out. So I want to start with merging our souls. Now.” She said, already walking towards her own door until I raised a few objections.
“It would be more efficient to wait a little longer. We could still fuse our souls together when this body is badly damaged after all.” I explained. At this point, my body was in perfect condition but nobody could tell how it would look like after we messed around even more.
“Now.” She told me once more.
“For fucks sake, I need you to pull this plan I have off.” I explained truthfully. Without her support, my chances of being free at this stage were non existent.
“That’s if you decide to go for that plan. You have more options than that, but I don’t.” Lucy really did value me a tad too highly, that was for sure. She seriously believed I was some kind of wonder child while at the same time she didn’t realise that I was backed into a corner with only one way out and that meant betting on her support.
“Or cooperation is starting of great.” I mumbled quietly, sadly still overheard by her.
“Do you think I want to be mean?” No, no she didn’t. If I understood anything about gods, it was that their element influenced their personality. A goddess of life would never find pleasure in being mean.
“Oh, shut up Lucy. Do you think I want to have you in my head? All you did so far was to hurt me and that’s all.” I complained loudly.
“I didn’t want to wake up in your head either! It’s horrible in here! Do you think I want to see how you throw the twins under the bus just because all the other options you have are worse? What about saving your friends? Huh?”
I was honestly furious at this point. Even though she was right with a few things, she was painting me in a really bad light. Kicking the dry plants to my feet, I stomped towards the door on my side and entered the library of my memories.
“I need the book how I met Sofie.” I growled angrily and swiftly caught it out of the air as it was flying towards me at breakneck speed. Then, I turned around on my heels and threw it onto the hill angrily.
“You want our souls to merge? Here you go, let’s share what makes us!” I screamed into the room and noticed how the book was slowly dissipating. But even when it was completely erased, I could still remember everything in it as it wasn’t saved in my soul anymore, but rather in a part that both of us shared. No matter what I would do after this, I wouldn’t be able to revert that process. “My emotions are manipulated just like yours. I like Sofie because she has more life within her than others. How fucked up is that? What’s next, do I hate people based on their dominant hand? Their skin colour?”
“That’s not …” Lucy mumbled, even though she must have understood I didn’t have it easy to find new friends.
“The only real friend I have left is Hannah … I’m just using the others and they are using me.” I told her quietly. Don’t get me wrong, I did want to save Sofie, but I also knew our friendship was influenced by why I was.
“The twins are your friends.” Lucy still stated.
“They see me as their mother … and we were intimate with each other. Each time I look at them it reminds me of what a horrible person I am … that I am exactly like Aska in every way whatsoever … I just want them to be gone at this point.” I told her truthfully.
“That is …”
“… you were right to ask me for assurances. I’m the worst … I just want to tear Aska apart for what he did but at the same time I know I did the exact things I hate him for. Despite all the love I feel for him, I want to put an end to his life … so in extension, I should end my own life as well.” I closed my eyes for a second, sighed loudly and walked back through the door which closed behind me, not letting anything else from me to become part of us. But there was something else I needed. “How did you erase your own body?”
Lucy looked at me a bit stunned and then opened her eyes wide as her door opened and revealed a lush garden with books floating around leisurely. One of these books was scooting towards us though and landed on her side of the hill before dissolving slowly. As soon as it vanished, I was able to recall her last moments on Elysium until the point where she shot herself with a bullet containing a contradiction which should not exist.
“So the idea is to find two opposing elements and fuse them into one … interesting.” A paradox would be able to erase this body and turn my soul inactive. As I thought, only something that defied the rules the gods made would be able get rid of one. Sadly, the god themselves have to give their agreement, otherwise they would be able to save their body … sadly, that meant that I couldn’t go around murdering gods this way.
“You are learning fast … so this is your second option? When everything goes haywire?” Lucy was still watching the point where that book dissipated, unsure what to do.
“Well, every material I need for that is already on Solaris … so yes. I’d rather fall into coma again rather than to see him succeed in his goals.” And thanks to our souls being connected already I would take her with me, no matter what. Either Lucy would go back to be dormant, or she would be able to live without Aska. And that could only be counted as a win for her.
Finally, she smiled a little bit and the flowers all around her bloomed vividly.
“Tell me you aren’t going to betray me at some point.” Lucy demanded which made me laugh loudly. She did live four hundreds years with Aska together, she should know that I would tell her that with a straight face and be capable of stabbing her shortly thereafter.
“… you should know better than that.” For the time being we had the same goals but that might change later on even though I seriously hoped it wouldn’t. Because one thing was for sure.
We had started fusing our souls into one without any way to reverse the process.
