“Yes, because your presence was what I sought.”
“Because of Ophelia’s letter?”
The man stopped talking. The hush was incomprehensible.
“…Maybe.”
The tone was vague and unanswering. His typical self-assurance was noticeably absent.
“I don’t know.”
What does he mean?
“You don’t know?”
My eyes got so big. The man tried not to look at me. It was an awkwardly rigid motion.
“…Actually, no. It’s all due to that letter. Beyond that, though, I do have a query.”
“What is it?”
“I said it was a letter left by Ophelia. I didn’t say though that it was for you. Would you still work with me?”
The man’s gray eyes were incomprehensible, like staring into the abyss of an intractable issue. Like lighting a test paper on fire, I answered forcefully.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You must have worshiped Ophelia, right? And yet you don’t get it?”
“It’s just too wasteful. You’ve spent the past two years avoiding us, and now you’re eager to plunge into the hubbub of society in order to deliver a letter to an unknown recipient?”
“Yes.”
I did not think twice before responding. Cassio looked at me quite seriously.
“She was not fond of correspondence. The fact that she confided in you shows just how crucial it was to her that you keep it safe. I’m curious about the contents and why she would trust you with it.”
“So, the substance itself is irrelevant, right? What if it wasn’t written specifically for you?”
“Your willingness to offer it to me is evidence that it has some connection to me.”
My tone was commanding.
“Then I need to find out. For that, I’m willing to suffer a little.”
At the time, I felt I understood her thoughts. Both her capabilities and her limitations. Hurt and concerned, she was. She was alive right up until the moment she died. But it was unlike her to disregard Cassio Brahamdorff enough to leave a letter for him. My heart sank for the first time since she passed away.
Why? Why is that? I have a question. What the heck went wrong? What were you thinking?
I foolishly believed that I could start again on my own. I left behind the people and the mansion. Everyone, even the young lady of the Baron, seemed capable of handling themselves. It was enough to shrug off my regrets like a swaying see-saw, knowing that in this world without her, I would never be the protagonist. The one person who ever truly loved me died, and now she’s gone.
“Even if that person is Cassio Brahamdorff.”
“…”
The man looked at me for a very long period without saying a word. There was an eerie quiet in the room. I think he heard the sincerity in my voice and took me seriously. I could see my own reflection in the man’s eyes. What I saw was as violent as a coal set ablaze. The man spoke out of the blue.
“…I did not lie to you.”
“Yes, I suppose.”
“I apologize if this seems like a test.”
“Yes, I also haven’t been hiding all this time.”
“In my own way, I’ve been trying to track down Lady Emilia. There are probably hundreds of ladies in the city with identical appearances and names to Lady Emilia. It’s suspicious that a lady could have been living alone in such a remote location for so long without me hearing any news until only the day before.”
“That…I’m at a loss for words. I didn’t go into hiding because I wanted to. I had no idea you were on the lookout for me.”
My brows wrinkled in concentration. Where did they find me? But why did it take so long for a guy of Cassio Brahamdorff’s means to track me down? Certainly an unusual occurrence.
The region I chose to live in was on the outskirts of the capital, and the building I purchased was there because it was a safer place for me to be alone. Although I had placed strong locks and self-defense gear in my home and had chosen a location along a patrol route, there were still moments when the area was too dangerous to work in after dark. In retrospect, it seems incredible that I made it through those two years without any help whatsoever.
“…You scampered off as if you were afraid of us. So, I didn’t actively seek you out. There was also the issue of the letter, which had me fretting. That really hurt my ego.”
Cassio gave a dismissive shrug. The golden hair around his ears glistened just a little. His eyes were a frigid gray, like the scales of a reptile. The man appeared to be smirking as his eyes lied. It was a gentlemanly demeanor, courteous yet with a hint of gloom. A tone of speech that was at once cynical and humorous came forth.
“For that, I owe a debt of gratitude to Sir Raretis.”
“… You didn’t contact Sir Raretis for this, right?”
“Me? Obviously not.”
Cassio made a face, as though the whole idea that he would say such a thing was laughable.
“I would have buried the trail if I could have. Why would I do such a thing if I had a good reason not to?”
“That’s what I thought. So please keep it a secret.”
“Do you plan to keep it secret from Sir Raretis as well? That you’re going to make your debut?”
The man’s gaze seemed inquisitive as he studied me. The flesh of my mouth was softly nibbled at. The air was heavy with the scent of dust.
“…Yes.”
“It’s only a matter of time, isn’t it?”
For whatever reason, I find his hair color to be very grating on my eyes today. It was completely due to my own anguish, I knew.
“I severed all ties with him after leaving the Marquisate. To the Marquisate, he will presumably accompany a lovely and kind young lady. There’s no reason for me to let him know where I am.”
The feeling of his chilly, silky fingertips on my hand is still vivid in my mind. The striking similarity between that hand and Ophelia’s was shocking. Those fingers are quite different from mine, like snowy white birch leaves. When I saw her silver hair flutter, her eyes curve gently unlike Ophelia’s, and her lips are submissive, I knew.
That which is ugly in me. Despite my best efforts, my heart couldn’t settle down. I figured she was the one he’d eventually fall in love with. That individual is the one who would set sail with him on the ocean.
As I matured, I learnt to give up hope. It was much more so when I recalled the game just dimly. No matter how hard someone tries, there are certain things that simply cannot be altered. Sadly, Ophelia did not survive. A young lady emerged in her place. Would it have been preferable if she had been the kind of terrible woman I could thoroughly dislike, a vulgar creature who uses the sympathy of those who see Ophelia in her to get what she wants?
Honestly, I had my doubts. Expecting more just leads to further disappointment. The only way to truly despair is to give up all hope. It was just a basic chart. I caught the attention of Cassio Brahamdorff. His face showed no signs of emotion. The mask of parody laughter wiped away, and the grin with it. Why, I was puzzled. I started to wonder if this was indeed the man’s true appearance. His eyes were closed.
“What if Sir Raretis doesn’t escort anyone?”
My natural response was to clutch my skirt. Cassio Brahamdorff was always the kind of guy. He had a habit of trampling on people’s defenses and shattering them, then treating them like nothing. As if the futile effort of denying oneself hope were itself useless. My breath became more regular. My lips quivered slightly at the corners.
“The decision rests with Sir Raretis.”
“Yes, because your presence was what I sought.”
“Because of Ophelia’s letter?”
The man stopped talking. The hush was incomprehensible.
“…Maybe.”
The tone was vague and unanswering. His typical self-assurance was noticeably absent.
“I don’t know.”
What does he mean?
“You don’t know?”
My eyes got so big. The man tried not to look at me. It was an awkwardly rigid motion.
“…Actually, no. It’s all due to that letter. Beyond that, though, I do have a query.”
“What is it?”
“I said it was a letter left by Ophelia. I didn’t say though that it was for you. Would you still work with me?”
The man’s gray eyes were incomprehensible, like staring into the abyss of an intractable issue. Like lighting a test paper on fire, I answered forcefully.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You must have worshiped Ophelia, right? And yet you don’t get it?”
“It’s just too wasteful. You’ve spent the past two years avoiding us, and now you’re eager to plunge into the hubbub of society in order to deliver a letter to an unknown recipient?”
“Yes.”
I did not think twice before responding. Cassio looked at me quite seriously.
“She was not fond of correspondence. The fact that she confided in you shows just how crucial it was to her that you keep it safe. I’m curious about the contents and why she would trust you with it.”
“So, the substance itself is irrelevant, right? What if it wasn’t written specifically for you?”
“Your willingness to offer it to me is evidence that it has some connection to me.”
My tone was commanding.
“Then I need to find out. For that, I’m willing to suffer a little.”
At the time, I felt I understood her thoughts. Both her capabilities and her limitations. Hurt and concerned, she was. She was alive right up until the moment she died. But it was unlike her to disregard Cassio Brahamdorff enough to leave a letter for him. My heart sank for the first time since she passed away.
Why? Why is that? I have a question. What the heck went wrong? What were you thinking?
I foolishly believed that I could start again on my own. I left behind the people and the mansion. Everyone, even the young lady of the Baron, seemed capable of handling themselves. It was enough to shrug off my regrets like a swaying see-saw, knowing that in this world without her, I would never be the protagonist. The one person who ever truly loved me died, and now she’s gone.
“Even if that person is Cassio Brahamdorff.”
“…”
The man looked at me for a very long period without saying a word. There was an eerie quiet in the room. I think he heard the sincerity in my voice and took me seriously. I could see my own reflection in the man’s eyes. What I saw was as violent as a coal set ablaze. The man spoke out of the blue.
“…I did not lie to you.”
“Yes, I suppose.”
“I apologize if this seems like a test.”
“Yes, I also haven’t been hiding all this time.”
“In my own way, I’ve been trying to track down Lady Emilia. There are probably hundreds of ladies in the city with identical appearances and names to Lady Emilia. It’s suspicious that a lady could have been living alone in such a remote location for so long without me hearing any news until only the day before.”
“That…I’m at a loss for words. I didn’t go into hiding because I wanted to. I had no idea you were on the lookout for me.”
My brows wrinkled in concentration. Where did they find me? But why did it take so long for a guy of Cassio Brahamdorff’s means to track me down? Certainly an unusual occurrence.
The region I chose to live in was on the outskirts of the capital, and the building I purchased was there because it was a safer place for me to be alone. Although I had placed strong locks and self-defense gear in my home and had chosen a location along a patrol route, there were still moments when the area was too dangerous to work in after dark. In retrospect, it seems incredible that I made it through those two years without any help whatsoever.
“…You scampered off as if you were afraid of us. So, I didn’t actively seek you out. There was also the issue of the letter, which had me fretting. That really hurt my ego.”
Cassio gave a dismissive shrug. The golden hair around his ears glistened just a little. His eyes were a frigid gray, like the scales of a reptile. The man appeared to be smirking as his eyes lied. It was a gentlemanly demeanor, courteous yet with a hint of gloom. A tone of speech that was at once cynical and humorous came forth.
“For that, I owe a debt of gratitude to Sir Raretis.”
“… You didn’t contact Sir Raretis for this, right?”
“Me? Obviously not.”
Cassio made a face, as though the whole idea that he would say such a thing was laughable.
“I would have buried the trail if I could have. Why would I do such a thing if I had a good reason not to?”
“That’s what I thought. So please keep it a secret.”
“Do you plan to keep it secret from Sir Raretis as well? That you’re going to make your debut?”
The man’s gaze seemed inquisitive as he studied me. The flesh of my mouth was softly nibbled at. The air was heavy with the scent of dust.
“…Yes.”
“It’s only a matter of time, isn’t it?”
For whatever reason, I find his hair color to be very grating on my eyes today. It was completely due to my own anguish, I knew.
“I severed all ties with him after leaving the Marquisate. To the Marquisate, he will presumably accompany a lovely and kind young lady. There’s no reason for me to let him know where I am.”
The feeling of his chilly, silky fingertips on my hand is still vivid in my mind. The striking similarity between that hand and Ophelia’s was shocking. Those fingers are quite different from mine, like snowy white birch leaves. When I saw her silver hair flutter, her eyes curve gently unlike Ophelia’s, and her lips are submissive, I knew.
That which is ugly in me. Despite my best efforts, my heart couldn’t settle down. I figured she was the one he’d eventually fall in love with. That individual is the one who would set sail with him on the ocean.
As I matured, I learnt to give up hope. It was much more so when I recalled the game just dimly. No matter how hard someone tries, there are certain things that simply cannot be altered. Sadly, Ophelia did not survive. A young lady emerged in her place. Would it have been preferable if she had been the kind of terrible woman I could thoroughly dislike, a vulgar creature who uses the sympathy of those who see Ophelia in her to get what she wants?
Honestly, I had my doubts. Expecting more just leads to further disappointment. The only way to truly despair is to give up all hope. It was just a basic chart. I caught the attention of Cassio Brahamdorff. His face showed no signs of emotion. The mask of parody laughter wiped away, and the grin with it. Why, I was puzzled. I started to wonder if this was indeed the man’s true appearance. His eyes were closed.
“What if Sir Raretis doesn’t escort anyone?”
My natural response was to clutch my skirt. Cassio Brahamdorff was always the kind of guy. He had a habit of trampling on people’s defenses and shattering them, then treating them like nothing. As if the futile effort of denying oneself hope were itself useless. My breath became more regular. My lips quivered slightly at the corners.
“The decision rests with Sir Raretis.”
