Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!
If audio player doesn't work, press Stop then Play button again
Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!
Quest Update
Quests completed:
-Sign rehung Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild point
-Clean the Butchers Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points
-Repair the roof of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points
-Repair the walls of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 10 Butcher's Guild points
-Fix the Guild Master's foot. Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild point
Additonal Quest Completed: Obtain the blessing of a God of Butchery for the Guild Hall: Reward: 8 Butcher's Guild Points
Your party includes 6 members. Each member receives 4 Guild Points to spend as they wish.
The new Guild Hall was twice the height of the old one. The walls were of white marble, mostly covered by ivy that had grown within minutes of the final work being done. Several oak trees had sprouted and were growing around the building, giving the area a more natural appearance. The inside walls were hung with freshly cleaned cleavers and knives that gleamed in the light of two golden lamps that had somehow survived the ruin of the old shrine. They had some dents, but still functioned. Gristle was thrilled to have the work finished, but had pestered Ozzy and Runt for details as to how the guild hall had acquired a patron goddess.
The sun was just coming up as the last of the work was done. Everyone was tired and it was decided that a small nap and some food would do them all good before they finally got to the job of butchering. Ozzy and Runt showed the others where to spend their points. "Grab the skills Chop Meat, Hack Bone, and Slaughter. Save the othe point for something else. We'll earn a few today."
The hunter's guild was a longer discussion, interrupted by ham sandwiches, boiled eggs, berry tarts, and a couple of bottles of wine.
Rolly was on his third sandwich - only fair since it was his ham.
"Betty and Granya are getting better at this. Even the muffins are better; are these raisins?" Rolly grabbed a couple of muffins for himself, and tossed two to Runt. Runt was sitting near a bush, off to the side. Rolly had seem him sneaking some of his food under it, and heard a couple of suspicious grunts. Runt nodded his thanks before carefully rolling a muffin into the bush when he thought no one was looking.
Suzette said "I'll pass on the compliments. They try hard. We just have such limited food types. Cheese, ham, some berries, and tons of eggs are nice, but we need to get more variety in the diet. At least we're starting to get a harvest of different vegetables in. I can't buy a lot from the merchants, there just isn't enough money. The butcher's guild dues really tapped us out for gold. Sad to say, I do miss Timmy's guild just for how much they liked going into the dungeon."
"A big upgrade from the groat muffins we had to eat at first," Ben was enjoying the break and a tart.
Runt grunted, "You'd appreciate those muffins more if you had to eat bugs and half charred meat for a few years." Ben grimaced at the thought.
Ozzy was, as usual, thinking about things. Suzette poked him hard in the side with a fork to get his attention, "What's the plan?"
Ozzy looked over at the pens, "I'd suggest we go hit the butchering for the day, and see how far we get. We could also go start on the hunting maybe? What are people thinking?
Even Rolly's head jerked at the harshness of the tone. Suzette's eyes narrowed, "You have a problem with us bug?"
Ozzy took her arm and pulled her back down beside him. It was a testament to how close they had gotten that he kept all of his fingers. Ozzy turned to Squirmie and in a calm voice said. "Explain it to us, oh fearless leader."
Runt stood up, "He's right, you know." The ex-minion began pacing back and forth.
"You don't know what it's like being a minion and having no access to skills unless you find some obscure niche by repeating something a thousand times. And when you get that skill, you max it out and go looking for more. This right here? It's like a hundred years of dungeon work just sitting there for the taking."
"That was a slick move we did with the Hunter's Guild. Now we milk it for everything we can before this city fills up with other people looking to do jobs. We need to push hard. You smartass contract workers have it too easy."
Suzette stood up, and this time Ozzy let her, "Sorry, Squirmie. You're right. Things have been getting better, but someone will come to take it away; maybe Momco or another corporation. Or maybe Billy reigns us in. Or players might take over somehow. Or an invasion of monsters appears. We should work on things while we can." She picked up the smallest cleaver they had borrowed from the guild.
Ben and Rolly nodded to Ozzy and grabbed cleavers. Ben asked, "So what's the new plan then?"
Ozzy looked over the skill lists one last time, "We all take the Skinning skill. As we butcher, we also skin. Later, we all take flensing, Hide Crafting, and Scrimshaw. We save as much of the hides as we can, and any tusks, huge claws, and bones we can use for Scrimshaw. There will be some animals that I can practice Boar Hunting on. When your STR is high enough, people can pick up Italian Billhook, and then Boar Hunting. We need to get a smith to make us some crude weapons to practice with. I can also teach people Caber Tossing."
"We butcher everything we can until the dungeon is filled with meat. There are parts we cut off that we'll save: Pork bellies, hams, wings."
Squirmie paused
Rolly shook his head, "Nope. Sorry buddy, you have to learn Boomerang. I've always wanted a pet I could play catch with using Boomerangs."
Ben answered his question, "A stick you throw that comes back when you miss, and does other tricky things. And before anyone asks, a Woomera is a tool used for throwing javelins much harder."
Hell-Pig takes: 370 Damage (Current Health: 430/800)
Ancient Billhook: 120 base damage
STR bonus: 100 damage
Level Bonus: 40
Demon Slaying bonus: 55 damage
Blessing of Artemis the Huntress: 50 damage (Only if hunting wild animals or monstrous beasts or enemies of the gods.)
Boar Hunting Bonus: 5
Rolly slapped Ozzy on the back, "Nice hit! You took out nearly half of his health with that first hit. These are going to be fun. Can we keep a few pork bellies to make some bacon?"
Runt started hauling the pig over to be butchered, "You get to keep all that shit. The guys downstairs won't eat bacon or ham because it's made by wimpy smoke-butchers."
Rolly got a big grin, "I like those guys in the dungeon more and more - that's awesome. Let's kill more pigs!"
Suzette came up to Ozzy, glanced at his weapon, and then asked sweetly, in a voice that carried undercurrents of violence, "My, blessed by that goddess with the long legs, blonde hair, and other perfect assets. When were you going to mention the other woman?"
Alarm bells went off in Ozzy's head, "It's not like that!"
"Really? How is it then?" Ozzy started to explain that they'd just been drinking together when he accidentally became her supplicant, and realized how bad that sounded.
"Anything I say will come out wrong. But Hermes was sitting between us and can explain it all."
Suzette seemed to relax, "Fine, I'll bug the god of all things cool next time I see him. But no more marks from strange women, you understand me?!"
Ozzy was so happy to go back to fighting demonic pigs.
It took hours and hours of work to empty the pen of all the pigs. Each one was a struggle. Sometimes Ozzy was able to spear them correctly, other times they trampled and gored him, so the others had to heal him and kill the maddened swine. The tusks were razor sharp and injured him with ease even with his levels of mitigation.
Ben was looking at one that had been removed from a pig's skull, "You know, these things are hard as iron, and, pardon the pun, sharp as hell. Obviously magical and they have a cool shape with the curved look of the blade. Add a bit of wood for a handle and a leather wrap, and they'd be a nice dagger."
Suzette looked at one and saw what Ben was thinking about, "You're right. I can sell these in the tavern just by having a pair on the wall. And we could dump a lot of them to ACME for their shop in the capital. But only a few at a time – and don’t let Layla know where they come from."
She had another question for Ben, "Speaking of odd weapons, what the hell is that club you are hitting stuff with?"
Ben pulled out the weapon and handed it to her, "A slightly magical adze I got from a treasure chest - very primitive tool. Good for stripping bark, clearing brush, and planting 'taters. Some of the woodworkers and farmers use them. From what I can tell, anyone can use it. The stats are horrible as a weapon, but we don't have penalties. Add in some strength and levels, and it's good for bunny bopping."
His next words were said with a straight face, but his eyes watched for a reaction, "And it's a STR based skill, so I won't have to go mud wrestling with cows nearly as much as other people to gain STR points."
Suzette froze up for a second and then looked from Ben to the adze, "Best you keep hold of that, otherwise I may accidently beat you to death with it."
Ben smiled and another adze appeared from somewhere, "I'm always happy to help a pretty girl beat me up. Here you go."
Suzette took the weapon, "Ok, maybe I'll only wound you a little."
Butchering resumed. Rolly insisted on taking the charge a few times. The pigs raced at him, then hesitated a bit as they got close and realized what they were charging. Squirmie took advantage of the pause to shout and drop on them from above, sinking all six talons into the pig's back. Rolly countercharged and swung his weapons into the pig simultaneously, striking like some huge praying mantis. Immobilized and hurt, the others were able to add their attacks safely until the pig died.
Rolly offered to let Ben take a turn, but he humbly refused.
Seventy-three Hell-Pigs later, they were very tired. Only a couple hours of sleep and two days of constant work took its toll even on a Contract Worker. Ozzy had just finished loading the bunny horns, pork bellies, and hams into his sack when they all heard noise coming from the pen.
Suzette jumped to Ozzy's shoulders and took a look from there, "We must have missed a couple in the wallow, there's movement in the mud."
Runt scratched his head, "Huh, must have missed one. Oh well, just means it will fill up faster next time."
A large, pink snout emerged from the mud. VERY large. It was followed by an equally large sow. She was at least four times bigger than any other pig they had faced that day. She hurriedly looked around the empty pen and spied none of her progeny. Ozzy was just putting the last few hams in his bag when she laid eyes on him. Her eyes got very small and red. Smoke poured from her ears. She put her head in the air sending forth an ear-rending SQUEAL of pure rage. Then she charged the fence.
Suzette and Ben collapsed to their knees, covering their ears. Rolly caught Squirmie as he fell out of the sky. Runt had put his hands on his ears as soon as he saw the huge snout coming out of the mud. Ozzy swayed on his feet, and wiped a trickle of blood that was coming from one ear.
The sow rammed the wall of the pen, knocked timbers loose and climbed out. Then she turned to Ozzy and began to charge.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!
Quest Update
Quests completed:
-Sign rehung Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild point
-Clean the Butchers Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points
-Repair the roof of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points
-Repair the walls of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 10 Butcher's Guild points
-Fix the Guild Master's foot. Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild point
Additonal Quest Completed: Obtain the blessing of a God of Butchery for the Guild Hall: Reward: 8 Butcher's Guild Points
Your party includes 6 members. Each member receives 4 Guild Points to spend as they wish.
The new Guild Hall was twice the height of the old one. The walls were of white marble, mostly covered by ivy that had grown within minutes of the final work being done. Several oak trees had sprouted and were growing around the building, giving the area a more natural appearance. The inside walls were hung with freshly cleaned cleavers and knives that gleamed in the light of two golden lamps that had somehow survived the ruin of the old shrine. They had some dents, but still functioned. Gristle was thrilled to have the work finished, but had pestered Ozzy and Runt for details as to how the guild hall had acquired a patron goddess.
The sun was just coming up as the last of the work was done. Everyone was tired and it was decided that a small nap and some food would do them all good before they finally got to the job of butchering. Ozzy and Runt showed the others where to spend their points. "Grab the skills Chop Meat, Hack Bone, and Slaughter. Save the othe point for something else. We'll earn a few today."
The hunter's guild was a longer discussion, interrupted by ham sandwiches, boiled eggs, berry tarts, and a couple of bottles of wine.
Rolly was on his third sandwich - only fair since it was his ham.
"Betty and Granya are getting better at this. Even the muffins are better; are these raisins?" Rolly grabbed a couple of muffins for himself, and tossed two to Runt. Runt was sitting near a bush, off to the side. Rolly had seem him sneaking some of his food under it, and heard a couple of suspicious grunts. Runt nodded his thanks before carefully rolling a muffin into the bush when he thought no one was looking.
Suzette said "I'll pass on the compliments. They try hard. We just have such limited food types. Cheese, ham, some berries, and tons of eggs are nice, but we need to get more variety in the diet. At least we're starting to get a harvest of different vegetables in. I can't buy a lot from the merchants, there just isn't enough money. The butcher's guild dues really tapped us out for gold. Sad to say, I do miss Timmy's guild just for how much they liked going into the dungeon."
"A big upgrade from the groat muffins we had to eat at first," Ben was enjoying the break and a tart.
Runt grunted, "You'd appreciate those muffins more if you had to eat bugs and half charred meat for a few years." Ben grimaced at the thought.
Ozzy was, as usual, thinking about things. Suzette poked him hard in the side with a fork to get his attention, "What's the plan?"
Ozzy looked over at the pens, "I'd suggest we go hit the butchering for the day, and see how far we get. We could also go start on the hunting maybe? What are people thinking?
Even Rolly's head jerked at the harshness of the tone. Suzette's eyes narrowed, "You have a problem with us bug?"
Ozzy took her arm and pulled her back down beside him. It was a testament to how close they had gotten that he kept all of his fingers. Ozzy turned to Squirmie and in a calm voice said. "Explain it to us, oh fearless leader."
Runt stood up, "He's right, you know." The ex-minion began pacing back and forth.
"You don't know what it's like being a minion and having no access to skills unless you find some obscure niche by repeating something a thousand times. And when you get that skill, you max it out and go looking for more. This right here? It's like a hundred years of dungeon work just sitting there for the taking."
"That was a slick move we did with the Hunter's Guild. Now we milk it for everything we can before this city fills up with other people looking to do jobs. We need to push hard. You smartass contract workers have it too easy."
Suzette stood up, and this time Ozzy let her, "Sorry, Squirmie. You're right. Things have been getting better, but someone will come to take it away; maybe Momco or another corporation. Or maybe Billy reigns us in. Or players might take over somehow. Or an invasion of monsters appears. We should work on things while we can." She picked up the smallest cleaver they had borrowed from the guild.
Ben and Rolly nodded to Ozzy and grabbed cleavers. Ben asked, "So what's the new plan then?"
Ozzy looked over the skill lists one last time, "We all take the Skinning skill. As we butcher, we also skin. Later, we all take flensing, Hide Crafting, and Scrimshaw. We save as much of the hides as we can, and any tusks, huge claws, and bones we can use for Scrimshaw. There will be some animals that I can practice Boar Hunting on. When your STR is high enough, people can pick up Italian Billhook, and then Boar Hunting. We need to get a smith to make us some crude weapons to practice with. I can also teach people Caber Tossing."
"We butcher everything we can until the dungeon is filled with meat. There are parts we cut off that we'll save: Pork bellies, hams, wings."
Squirmie paused
Rolly shook his head, "Nope. Sorry buddy, you have to learn Boomerang. I've always wanted a pet I could play catch with using Boomerangs."
Ben answered his question, "A stick you throw that comes back when you miss, and does other tricky things. And before anyone asks, a Woomera is a tool used for throwing javelins much harder."
Hell-Pig takes: 370 Damage (Current Health: 430/800)
Ancient Billhook: 120 base damage
STR bonus: 100 damage
Level Bonus: 40
Demon Slaying bonus: 55 damage
Blessing of Artemis the Huntress: 50 damage (Only if hunting wild animals or monstrous beasts or enemies of the gods.)
Boar Hunting Bonus: 5
Rolly slapped Ozzy on the back, "Nice hit! You took out nearly half of his health with that first hit. These are going to be fun. Can we keep a few pork bellies to make some bacon?"
Runt started hauling the pig over to be butchered, "You get to keep all that shit. The guys downstairs won't eat bacon or ham because it's made by wimpy smoke-butchers."
Rolly got a big grin, "I like those guys in the dungeon more and more - that's awesome. Let's kill more pigs!"
Suzette came up to Ozzy, glanced at his weapon, and then asked sweetly, in a voice that carried undercurrents of violence, "My, blessed by that goddess with the long legs, blonde hair, and other perfect assets. When were you going to mention the other woman?"
Alarm bells went off in Ozzy's head, "It's not like that!"
"Really? How is it then?" Ozzy started to explain that they'd just been drinking together when he accidentally became her supplicant, and realized how bad that sounded.
"Anything I say will come out wrong. But Hermes was sitting between us and can explain it all."
Suzette seemed to relax, "Fine, I'll bug the god of all things cool next time I see him. But no more marks from strange women, you understand me?!"
Ozzy was so happy to go back to fighting demonic pigs.
It took hours and hours of work to empty the pen of all the pigs. Each one was a struggle. Sometimes Ozzy was able to spear them correctly, other times they trampled and gored him, so the others had to heal him and kill the maddened swine. The tusks were razor sharp and injured him with ease even with his levels of mitigation.
Ben was looking at one that had been removed from a pig's skull, "You know, these things are hard as iron, and, pardon the pun, sharp as hell. Obviously magical and they have a cool shape with the curved look of the blade. Add a bit of wood for a handle and a leather wrap, and they'd be a nice dagger."
Suzette looked at one and saw what Ben was thinking about, "You're right. I can sell these in the tavern just by having a pair on the wall. And we could dump a lot of them to ACME for their shop in the capital. But only a few at a time – and don’t let Layla know where they come from."
She had another question for Ben, "Speaking of odd weapons, what the hell is that club you are hitting stuff with?"
Ben pulled out the weapon and handed it to her, "A slightly magical adze I got from a treasure chest - very primitive tool. Good for stripping bark, clearing brush, and planting 'taters. Some of the woodworkers and farmers use them. From what I can tell, anyone can use it. The stats are horrible as a weapon, but we don't have penalties. Add in some strength and levels, and it's good for bunny bopping."
His next words were said with a straight face, but his eyes watched for a reaction, "And it's a STR based skill, so I won't have to go mud wrestling with cows nearly as much as other people to gain STR points."
Suzette froze up for a second and then looked from Ben to the adze, "Best you keep hold of that, otherwise I may accidently beat you to death with it."
Ben smiled and another adze appeared from somewhere, "I'm always happy to help a pretty girl beat me up. Here you go."
Suzette took the weapon, "Ok, maybe I'll only wound you a little."
Butchering resumed. Rolly insisted on taking the charge a few times. The pigs raced at him, then hesitated a bit as they got close and realized what they were charging. Squirmie took advantage of the pause to shout and drop on them from above, sinking all six talons into the pig's back. Rolly countercharged and swung his weapons into the pig simultaneously, striking like some huge praying mantis. Immobilized and hurt, the others were able to add their attacks safely until the pig died.
Rolly offered to let Ben take a turn, but he humbly refused.
Seventy-three Hell-Pigs later, they were very tired. Only a couple hours of sleep and two days of constant work took its toll even on a Contract Worker. Ozzy had just finished loading the bunny horns, pork bellies, and hams into his sack when they all heard noise coming from the pen.
Suzette jumped to Ozzy's shoulders and took a look from there, "We must have missed a couple in the wallow, there's movement in the mud."
Runt scratched his head, "Huh, must have missed one. Oh well, just means it will fill up faster next time."
A large, pink snout emerged from the mud. VERY large. It was followed by an equally large sow. She was at least four times bigger than any other pig they had faced that day. She hurriedly looked around the empty pen and spied none of her progeny. Ozzy was just putting the last few hams in his bag when she laid eyes on him. Her eyes got very small and red. Smoke poured from her ears. She put her head in the air sending forth an ear-rending SQUEAL of pure rage. Then she charged the fence.
Suzette and Ben collapsed to their knees, covering their ears. Rolly caught Squirmie as he fell out of the sky. Runt had put his hands on his ears as soon as he saw the huge snout coming out of the mud. Ozzy swayed on his feet, and wiped a trickle of blood that was coming from one ear.
The sow rammed the wall of the pen, knocked timbers loose and climbed out. Then she turned to Ozzy and began to charge.
Chapter 140: Bunnies, and Cows, and Hell-Pigs, oh MY!Quest UpdateQuests completed:-Sign rehung Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild point-Clean the Butchers Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points-Repair the roof of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 2 Butcher's Guild points-Repair the walls of the Butcher's Guild Hall Reward: 10 Butcher's Guild points-Fix the Guild Master's foot. Reward: 1 Butcher's Guild pointAdditonal Quest Completed: Obtain the blessing of a God of Butchery for the Guild Hall: Reward: 8 Butcher's Guild PointsYour party includes 6 members. Each member receives 4 Guild Points to spend as they wish.The new Guild Hall was twice the height of the old one. The walls were of white marble, mostly covered by ivy that had grown within minutes of the final work being done. Several oak trees had sprouted and were growing around the building, giving the area a more natural appearance. The inside walls were hung with freshly cleaned cleavers and knives that gleamed in the light of two golden lamps that had somehow survived the ruin of the old shrine. They had some dents, but still functioned. Gristle was thrilled to have the work finished, but had pestered Ozzy and Runt for details as to how the guild hall had acquired a patron goddess.The sun was just coming up as the last of the work was done. Everyone was tired and it was decided that a small nap and some food would do them all good before they finally got to the job of butchering. Ozzy and Runt showed the others where to spend their points. "Grab the skills Chop Meat, Hack Bone, and Slaughter. Save the othe point for something else. We'll earn a few today."The hunter's guild was a longer discussion, interrupted by ham sandwiches, boiled eggs, berry tarts, and a couple of bottles of wine.Rolly was on his third sandwich - only fair since it was his ham."Betty and Granya are getting better at this. Even the muffins are better; are these raisins?" Rolly grabbed a couple of muffins for himself, and tossed two to Runt. Runt was sitting near a bush, off to the side. Rolly had seem him sneaking some of his food under it, and heard a couple of suspicious grunts. Runt nodded his thanks before carefully rolling a muffin into the bush when he thought no one was looking.Suzette said "I'll pass on the compliments. They try hard. We just have such limited food types. Cheese, ham, some berries, and tons of eggs are nice, but we need to get more variety in the diet. At least we're starting to get a harvest of different vegetables in. I can't buy a lot from the merchants, there just isn't enough money. The butcher's guild dues really tapped us out for gold. Sad to say, I do miss Timmy's guild just for how much they liked going into the dungeon.""A big upgrade from the groat muffins we had to eat at first," Ben was enjoying the break and a tart. Runt grunted, "You'd appreciate those muffins more if you had to eat bugs and half charred meat for a few years." Ben grimaced at the thought.Ozzy was, as usual, thinking about things. Suzette poked him hard in the side with a fork to get his attention, "What's the plan?"Ozzy looked over at the pens, "I'd suggest we go hit the butchering for the day, and see how far we get. We could also go start on the hunting maybe? What are people thinking?Even Rolly's head jerked at the harshness of the tone. Suzette's eyes narrowed, "You have a problem with us bug?"Ozzy took her arm and pulled her back down beside him. It was a testament to how close they had gotten that he kept all of his fingers. Ozzy turned to Squirmie and in a calm voice said. "Explain it to us, oh fearless leader."Runt stood up, "He's right, you know." The ex-minion began pacing back and forth."You don't know what it's like being a minion and having no access to skills unless you find some obscure niche by repeating something a thousand times. And when you get that skill, you max it out and go looking for more. This right here? It's like a hundred years of dungeon work just sitting there for the taking.""That was a slick move we did with the Hunter's Guild. Now we milk it for everything we can before this city fills up with other people looking to do jobs. We need to push hard. You smartass contract workers have it too easy."Suzette stood up, and this time Ozzy let her, "Sorry, Squirmie. You're right. Things have been getting better, but someone will come to take it away; maybe Momco or another corporation. Or maybe Billy reigns us in. Or players might take over somehow. Or an invasion of monsters appears. We should work on things while we can." She picked up the smallest cleaver they had borrowed from the guild.Ben and Rolly nodded to Ozzy and grabbed cleavers. Ben asked, "So what's the new plan then?"Ozzy looked over the skill lists one last time, "We all take the Skinning skill. As we butcher, we also skin. Later, we all take flensing, Hide Crafting, and Scrimshaw. We save as much of the hides as we can, and any tusks, huge claws, and bones we can use for Scrimshaw. There will be some animals that I can practice Boar Hunting on. When your STR is high enough, people can pick up Italian Billhook, and then Boar Hunting. We need to get a smith to make us some crude weapons to practice with. I can also teach people Caber Tossing.""We butcher everything we can until the dungeon is filled with meat. There are parts we cut off that we'll save: Pork bellies, hams, wings."Squirmie paused Rolly shook his head, "Nope. Sorry buddy, you have to learn Boomerang. I've always wanted a pet I could play catch with using Boomerangs."Ben answered his question, "A stick you throw that comes back when you miss, and does other tricky things. And before anyone asks, a Woomera is a tool used for throwing javelins much harder."Hell-Pig takes: 370 Damage Current Health: 430/800Ancient Billhook: 120 base damageSTR bonus: 100 damageLevel Bonus: 40Demon Slaying bonus: 55 damageBlessing of Artemis the Huntress: 50 damage Only if hunting wild animals or monstrous beasts or enemies of the gods.Boar Hunting Bonus: 5Rolly slapped Ozzy on the back, "Nice hit! You took out nearly half of his health with that first hit. These are going to be fun. Can we keep a few pork bellies to make some bacon?"Runt started hauling the pig over to be butchered, "You get to keep all that shit. The guys downstairs won't eat bacon or ham because it's made by wimpy smoke-butchers."Rolly got a big grin, "I like those guys in the dungeon more and more - that's awesome. Let's kill more pigs!"Suzette came up to Ozzy, glanced at his weapon, and then asked sweetly, in a voice that carried undercurrents of violence, "My, blessed by that goddess with the long legs, blonde hair, and other perfect assets. When were you going to mention the other woman?"Alarm bells went off in Ozzy's head, "It's not like that!""Really? How is it then?" Ozzy started to explain that they'd just been drinking together when he accidentally became her supplicant, and realized how bad that sounded. "Anything I say will come out wrong. But Hermes was sitting between us and can explain it all."Suzette seemed to relax, "Fine, I'll bug the god of all things cool next time I see him. But no more marks from strange women, you understand me?!" Ozzy was so happy to go back to fighting demonic pigs.It took hours and hours of work to empty the pen of all the pigs. Each one was a struggle. Sometimes Ozzy was able to spear them correctly, other times they trampled and gored him, so the others had to heal him and kill the maddened swine. The tusks were razor sharp and injured him with ease even with his levels of mitigation. Ben was looking at one that had been removed from a pig's skull, "You know, these things are hard as iron, and, pardon the pun, sharp as hell. Obviously magical and they have a cool shape with the curved look of the blade. Add a bit of wood for a handle and a leather wrap, and they'd be a nice dagger."Suzette looked at one and saw what Ben was thinking about, "You're right. I can sell these in the tavern just by having a pair on the wall. And we could dump a lot of them to ACME for their shop in the capital. But only a few at a time and don't let Layla know where they come from."She had another question for Ben, "Speaking of odd weapons, what the hell is that club you are hitting stuff with?"Ben pulled out the weapon and handed it to her, "A slightly magical adze I got from a treasure chest - very primitive tool. Good for stripping bark, clearing brush, and planting 'taters. Some of the woodworkers and farmers use them. From what I can tell, anyone can use it. The stats are horrible as a weapon, but we don't have penalties. Add in some strength and levels, and it's good for bunny bopping."His next words were said with a straight face, but his eyes watched for a reaction, "And it's a STR based skill, so I won't have to go mud wrestling with cows nearly as much as other people to gain STR points."Suzette froze up for a second and then looked from Ben to the adze, "Best you keep hold of that, otherwise I may accidently beat you to death with it."Ben smiled and another adze appeared from somewhere, "I'm always happy to help a pretty girl beat me up. Here you go."Suzette took the weapon, "Ok, maybe I'll only wound you a little."Butchering resumed. Rolly insisted on taking the charge a few times. The pigs raced at him, then hesitated a bit as they got close and realized what they were charging. Squirmie took advantage of the pause to shout and drop on them from above, sinking all six talons into the pig's back. Rolly countercharged and swung his weapons into the pig simultaneously, striking like some huge praying mantis. Immobilized and hurt, the others were able to add their attacks safely until the pig died.Rolly offered to let Ben take a turn, but he humbly refused. Seventy-three Hell-Pigs later, they were very tired. Only a couple hours of sleep and two days of constant work took its toll even on a Contract Worker. Ozzy had just finished loading the bunny horns, pork bellies, and hams into his sack when they all heard noise coming from the pen.Suzette jumped to Ozzy's shoulders and took a look from there, "We must have missed a couple in the wallow, there's movement in the mud."Runt scratched his head, "Huh, must have missed one. Oh well, just means it will fill up faster next time."A large, pink snout emerged from the mud. VERY large. It was followed by an equally large sow. She was at least four times bigger than any other pig they had faced that day. She hurriedly looked around the empty pen and spied none of her progeny. Ozzy was just putting the last few hams in his bag when she laid eyes on him. Her eyes got very small and red. Smoke poured from her ears. She put her head in the air sending forth an ear-rending SQUEAL of pure rage. Then she charged the fence.Suzette and Ben collapsed to their knees, covering their ears. Rolly caught Squirmie as he fell out of the sky. Runt had put his hands on his ears as soon as he saw the huge snout coming out of the mud. Ozzy swayed on his feet, and wiped a trickle of blood that was coming from one ear. The sow rammed the wall of the pen, knocked timbers loose and climbed out. Then she turned to Ozzy and began to charge.
