Yuki walked quickly as he weaved through the crowds of Junction, making his way to the transportation station. Akira and Erica followed him closely behind. A few minutes after arriving at the station, they were in Fenrir.
Fenrir was much quieter than Junction. There were less people and the ones that were out were in no rush to get anywhere. Yuki let out a breath at the sudden reprieve and started walking back to the apartment.
“Yuki, you haven’t been like this is a while,” Akira said as they walked. “What happened.”
“I don’t know,” Yuki said, sighing. “I feel like my mind is trying to keep track of everything. Trying to prevent anything that can happen.”
“And you can turn it off?”
“If I could, I would have already. I can’t find the off switch.”
“But you’re fine now.”
“I’m better now. There’s less stimulation so there’s less things for my head to latch on,” Yuki replied. “I’ll probably be fine once we return home.”
“I hope so,” Akira said.
They reached the apartment and Yuki opened the door, the scanner identifying him. When the door closed, Yuki felt like a massive weight had just been lifted and he wobbled to the couch where he flopped down.
“I need to rest,” he said, taking in deep, slow breaths. “But I don’t know if I can right now. It might take a while.”
Erica sat on the couch next to him and looked at him, her violet eyes filled with worry.
“Here,” she said, patting her lap. “I can help you with that. You need rest. You don’t look that good.”
“It’s fine,” he shook his head. “I’ll just go to bed.”
“No, trust me,” Erica said. She put her hand to his head. “I can help. I know what you’re feeling.”
A warmth radiated from her hand and filled Yuki’s body. His muscles involuntarily relaxed as a serene peace entered him. Erica guided his head and placed it on top of her lap.
“I see,” Yuki muttered. “Thank you.”
“It’s the least I can do,” she said softly, a small smile on her lips.
The peace washed over him again like a warm tide and the darkness rose up to embrace him in its arms.
“Did you put him to sleep?” Akira asked, walking to the couch slowly as she tried to make as little sound as possible.
“Yeah,” Erica replied. “But the fact that I could do it so easily worries me.”
“What do you mean?” Akira knelt on the rug in front of the couch and watched Yuki.
“She normally can resist me,” she explained. “She has a strong will and mental strength. But I could barely feel anything when I was trying to put her to sleep.”
“Oh, I understand.”
“And I could feel it,” Erica continued, her voice quiet. “Her anxiety was almost radiating out from her. It scared me, honestly.”
“I’m glad that you could help,” Akira said. “If you weren’t here, I don’t know what I could have done.”
“Lately, I’ve,” she started then paused, letting her sentence hang in the air. Then she sighed before continuing. “I’ve been feeling useless. I don’t do any fighting. I don’t do any planning. I don’t even clean the apartment or cook. So, I’m glad that I could actually help with something, but why I could help doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Yuki hasn’t been like this for the longest of times,” Akira said. “He—I’ll use she so we don’t get confused. She seemed fine just yesterday.”
“She was fine yesterday. I don’t know what happened today. And you said for the longest of times? She was like this before?”
“Yes,” Akira nodded. “But it was a while ago and I didn’t have complete awareness at that time so I can’t say for sure why.”
“What was she like before?” Erica asked.
“Well, she was like this,” Akira replied. She placed her hand on Yuki’s cheek. “When her parents were killed, she was quite fragile.”
“Yuki? Fragile?”
“I know, it’s hard to believe,” Akira smiled lightly. “But it’s true. Her parents’ death affected her a lot. Which would be expected. After their death, she was sent to live with her aunt. And then she was almost immediately sent to school. They said it was to help distract Yuki from the loss of her family.” She barked out a short laugh. “That the kids at school would help her cope.”
“That didn’t happen, did it,” Erica said.
“No. It didn’t. Humans are mean, to say the least. And the children more so. They have the nature of humans and lack the empathy that comes with experience.”
“They attacked her because she lost her family?” Erica said, frowning.
“I think they attacked her because they felt weakness,” Akira answered. “Yuki’s aunt moved them to a different country to change the scenery to help her and give her a better education. But it just made things worse. She could barely speak the language and she didn’t look like the others.”
“Oh. I can see where this is going.”
“It’s also because of how Yuki looks.” Akira gestured to his face.
“Beautiful?” Erica smiled.
“Well, yeah,” Akira said. She caressed Yuki’s face lightly. “Beautiful. But if Yuki was like how she is now, then maybe it would have been better for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how Yuki doesn’t care how people call her now? Like girl or boy. Well, she used to. It was how she was raised. Whenever someone referred to her as a girl, she would correct them.”
“All the time?”
“Yuki didn’t know any better at the time,” Akira said. “She was a kid. But someone like her who looked so feminine yet told others that she was actually a he garnered unwanted attention. At best, others would just look at her weird, as if she was an oddity. Normally, she’ll get attacked verbally. And other times, she would be attack physically.”
“I, I didn’t know that,” Erica said softly. “And she was a kid at that time.”
“The world Yuki was raised in isn’t the most accepting. I think that’s because there’s only humans there. Nothing to make them understand their position or their strength. Ethros has been much nicer from what I’ve seen.”
“No, it’s just as bad,” Erica said, laughing darkly. “The people here are just better at hiding it. I would know.”
Erica looked down and Akira remembered her circumstances and how they met her. They fell quiet, the only sound the rhythmic breathing of the fast asleep Yuki.
“This isn’t about me though,” Erica said after a while. “What happened after that? With Yuki?”
“She became like this,” Akira replied, gesturing to Yuki. “The bullying and the stress it caused made Yuki like this.”
“Constant anxiety?”
“Yeah. It changed her, creating constant anxiety and making her hyper aware of her surroundings. She got scared or apprehensive of the smallest things. Any loud noises would cause her to freeze.”
“Loud noises?”
“They reminded her of how her parents died. Wait, do you know how Yuki’s parents died?” Akira asked.
“No. I don’t,” Erica said, looking down at Yuki whose head was on her lap. “I knew that she had a rough history. I could tell. And I don’t like to pry about things like this. Family and such. I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me about my past.”
She stroked Yuki’s head, her fingers running through his hair.
“I know how it feels to be backed into a corner,” she continued softly. “I want to know more about her. I really do. But I don’t want to bother her, you know.”
“Ask her then,” Akira said. A small smile formed on her face. “She wouldn’t mind if it’s you. I would know. It’s better to hear the story from her than from me anyway.”
“I’ll try.”
“Well, now you know how Yuki was before.” Akira turned a bit and leaned her back against the front of the couch. “It was actually worse before so that’s good. I think she’ll be fine.”
“I do too,” Erica said. “But I haven’t felt so much emotion from her before. Maybe small spikes of annoyance here and there, but never anything that was as strong as her anxiety was.”
“You were there during the fight at the LIA base, right?” Akira asked.
“I was. I was helping with capturing the ones that were running out of the building and wiping their memories.”
“Then, did you feel anger?”
“Of course I did. It was like a blazing bonfire that erupted from the middle of the building,” Erica smiled. Then the smile melted as her eyes widened. “Oh. That was Yuki?”
“Yes. That was her.”
“I. Did not know that.”
Akira smiled and stared at the wall in front of her. The house was dark but it didn’t bother her and she knew that it didn’t bother Erica. They both could see just as well as if it was light.
‘I hope Yuki is fine.’
“What made her change?” Erica asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
“She had a lot of anxiety and was scared before but she’s nothing like that now,” she clarified. “Did something happen?”
“I...don’t know,” Akira replied. “I know what happened, but what I don’t know is why she changed. She just became withdrawn one day and stopped feeling. Then she became how she is now.”
“You don’t know what changed her?”
“I never bothered to ask,” she admitted. “I’m fine with how she is now. I accept who she is now. I never felt the need to ask.”
“I guess it doesn’t change much.”
“I think there was a time where she was getting better,” Akira continued. She frowned as she thought. “She was slowly going back to how she was before her parents died. Then she got worse and later shut down her emotions.”
“Oh. But you don’t know what caused that.”
“No. I’m sort of curious now.”
“We can ask a later time. When she’s better,” Erica suggested. “Do you want to call Zoe?”
“We might have to,” Akira replied, sighing. “We’re not healers or doctors so it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to treat her. Zoe might get mad, though. She did tell us not to call her again for a few weeks.”
“Well, she said not to call her again because she was angry at Yuki and us calling her meant that she was pushing herself again.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ll call her then. She’ll understand.”
“Okay.”
Erica got up gently and Akira held up Yuki’s head as she slid out of her seat on the couch. Then Akira laid him down slowly on a pillow and watched him with soft eyes.
‘What happened, Yuki?’ she thought. ‘What happened during those days I can’t remember?’
Yuki walked quickly as he weaved through the crowds of Junction, making his way to the transportation station. Akira and Erica followed him closely behind. A few minutes after arriving at the station, they were in Fenrir.
Fenrir was much quieter than Junction. There were less people and the ones that were out were in no rush to get anywhere. Yuki let out a breath at the sudden reprieve and started walking back to the apartment.
“Yuki, you haven’t been like this is a while,” Akira said as they walked. “What happened.”
“I don’t know,” Yuki said, sighing. “I feel like my mind is trying to keep track of everything. Trying to prevent anything that can happen.”
“And you can turn it off?”
“If I could, I would have already. I can’t find the off switch.”
“But you’re fine now.”
“I’m better now. There’s less stimulation so there’s less things for my head to latch on,” Yuki replied. “I’ll probably be fine once we return home.”
“I hope so,” Akira said.
They reached the apartment and Yuki opened the door, the scanner identifying him. When the door closed, Yuki felt like a massive weight had just been lifted and he wobbled to the couch where he flopped down.
“I need to rest,” he said, taking in deep, slow breaths. “But I don’t know if I can right now. It might take a while.”
Erica sat on the couch next to him and looked at him, her violet eyes filled with worry.
“Here,” she said, patting her lap. “I can help you with that. You need rest. You don’t look that good.”
“It’s fine,” he shook his head. “I’ll just go to bed.”
“No, trust me,” Erica said. She put her hand to his head. “I can help. I know what you’re feeling.”
A warmth radiated from her hand and filled Yuki’s body. His muscles involuntarily relaxed as a serene peace entered him. Erica guided his head and placed it on top of her lap.
“I see,” Yuki muttered. “Thank you.”
“It’s the least I can do,” she said softly, a small smile on her lips.
The peace washed over him again like a warm tide and the darkness rose up to embrace him in its arms.
“Did you put him to sleep?” Akira asked, walking to the couch slowly as she tried to make as little sound as possible.
“Yeah,” Erica replied. “But the fact that I could do it so easily worries me.”
“What do you mean?” Akira knelt on the rug in front of the couch and watched Yuki.
“She normally can resist me,” she explained. “She has a strong will and mental strength. But I could barely feel anything when I was trying to put her to sleep.”
“Oh, I understand.”
“And I could feel it,” Erica continued, her voice quiet. “Her anxiety was almost radiating out from her. It scared me, honestly.”
“I’m glad that you could help,” Akira said. “If you weren’t here, I don’t know what I could have done.”
“Lately, I’ve,” she started then paused, letting her sentence hang in the air. Then she sighed before continuing. “I’ve been feeling useless. I don’t do any fighting. I don’t do any planning. I don’t even clean the apartment or cook. So, I’m glad that I could actually help with something, but why I could help doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Yuki hasn’t been like this for the longest of times,” Akira said. “He—I’ll use she so we don’t get confused. She seemed fine just yesterday.”
“She was fine yesterday. I don’t know what happened today. And you said for the longest of times? She was like this before?”
“Yes,” Akira nodded. “But it was a while ago and I didn’t have complete awareness at that time so I can’t say for sure why.”
“What was she like before?” Erica asked.
“Well, she was like this,” Akira replied. She placed her hand on Yuki’s cheek. “When her parents were killed, she was quite fragile.”
“Yuki? Fragile?”
“I know, it’s hard to believe,” Akira smiled lightly. “But it’s true. Her parents’ death affected her a lot. Which would be expected. After their death, she was sent to live with her aunt. And then she was almost immediately sent to school. They said it was to help distract Yuki from the loss of her family.” She barked out a short laugh. “That the kids at school would help her cope.”
“That didn’t happen, did it,” Erica said.
“No. It didn’t. Humans are mean, to say the least. And the children more so. They have the nature of humans and lack the empathy that comes with experience.”
“They attacked her because she lost her family?” Erica said, frowning.
“I think they attacked her because they felt weakness,” Akira answered. “Yuki’s aunt moved them to a different country to change the scenery to help her and give her a better education. But it just made things worse. She could barely speak the language and she didn’t look like the others.”
“Oh. I can see where this is going.”
“It’s also because of how Yuki looks.” Akira gestured to his face.
“Beautiful?” Erica smiled.
“Well, yeah,” Akira said. She caressed Yuki’s face lightly. “Beautiful. But if Yuki was like how she is now, then maybe it would have been better for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how Yuki doesn’t care how people call her now? Like girl or boy. Well, she used to. It was how she was raised. Whenever someone referred to her as a girl, she would correct them.”
“All the time?”
“Yuki didn’t know any better at the time,” Akira said. “She was a kid. But someone like her who looked so feminine yet told others that she was actually a he garnered unwanted attention. At best, others would just look at her weird, as if she was an oddity. Normally, she’ll get attacked verbally. And other times, she would be attack physically.”
“I, I didn’t know that,” Erica said softly. “And she was a kid at that time.”
“The world Yuki was raised in isn’t the most accepting. I think that’s because there’s only humans there. Nothing to make them understand their position or their strength. Ethros has been much nicer from what I’ve seen.”
“No, it’s just as bad,” Erica said, laughing darkly. “The people here are just better at hiding it. I would know.”
Erica looked down and Akira remembered her circumstances and how they met her. They fell quiet, the only sound the rhythmic breathing of the fast asleep Yuki.
“This isn’t about me though,” Erica said after a while. “What happened after that? With Yuki?”
“She became like this,” Akira replied, gesturing to Yuki. “The bullying and the stress it caused made Yuki like this.”
“Constant anxiety?”
“Yeah. It changed her, creating constant anxiety and making her hyper aware of her surroundings. She got scared or apprehensive of the smallest things. Any loud noises would cause her to freeze.”
“Loud noises?”
“They reminded her of how her parents died. Wait, do you know how Yuki’s parents died?” Akira asked.
“No. I don’t,” Erica said, looking down at Yuki whose head was on her lap. “I knew that she had a rough history. I could tell. And I don’t like to pry about things like this. Family and such. I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me about my past.”
She stroked Yuki’s head, her fingers running through his hair.
“I know how it feels to be backed into a corner,” she continued softly. “I want to know more about her. I really do. But I don’t want to bother her, you know.”
“Ask her then,” Akira said. A small smile formed on her face. “She wouldn’t mind if it’s you. I would know. It’s better to hear the story from her than from me anyway.”
“I’ll try.”
“Well, now you know how Yuki was before.” Akira turned a bit and leaned her back against the front of the couch. “It was actually worse before so that’s good. I think she’ll be fine.”
“I do too,” Erica said. “But I haven’t felt so much emotion from her before. Maybe small spikes of annoyance here and there, but never anything that was as strong as her anxiety was.”
“You were there during the fight at the LIA base, right?” Akira asked.
“I was. I was helping with capturing the ones that were running out of the building and wiping their memories.”
“Then, did you feel anger?”
“Of course I did. It was like a blazing bonfire that erupted from the middle of the building,” Erica smiled. Then the smile melted as her eyes widened. “Oh. That was Yuki?”
“Yes. That was her.”
“I. Did not know that.”
Akira smiled and stared at the wall in front of her. The house was dark but it didn’t bother her and she knew that it didn’t bother Erica. They both could see just as well as if it was light.
‘I hope Yuki is fine.’
“What made her change?” Erica asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
“She had a lot of anxiety and was scared before but she’s nothing like that now,” she clarified. “Did something happen?”
“I...don’t know,” Akira replied. “I know what happened, but what I don’t know is why she changed. She just became withdrawn one day and stopped feeling. Then she became how she is now.”
“You don’t know what changed her?”
“I never bothered to ask,” she admitted. “I’m fine with how she is now. I accept who she is now. I never felt the need to ask.”
“I guess it doesn’t change much.”
“I think there was a time where she was getting better,” Akira continued. She frowned as she thought. “She was slowly going back to how she was before her parents died. Then she got worse and later shut down her emotions.”
“Oh. But you don’t know what caused that.”
“No. I’m sort of curious now.”
“We can ask a later time. When she’s better,” Erica suggested. “Do you want to call Zoe?”
“We might have to,” Akira replied, sighing. “We’re not healers or doctors so it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to treat her. Zoe might get mad, though. She did tell us not to call her again for a few weeks.”
“Well, she said not to call her again because she was angry at Yuki and us calling her meant that she was pushing herself again.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ll call her then. She’ll understand.”
“Okay.”
Erica got up gently and Akira held up Yuki’s head as she slid out of her seat on the couch. Then Akira laid him down slowly on a pillow and watched him with soft eyes.
‘What happened, Yuki?’ she thought. ‘What happened during those days I can’t remember?’
