Euphridia
[Please note, I have also added a new "Chapter 0" today as well. Please enjoy!]
The North American headquarters for Cooperative Universal Publishing was tucked away on the 7th floor of a tall skyscraper in New York City. Nora and I had split a rideshare where I spent most of the hour-long trip doing everything I could to keep her from throwing up. When we finally arrived, we spent a good twenty minutes waiting for the color to return to her face. How was she going to handle the daily commute at this rate?
“Ready to go inside?” I asked cautiously.
“I was born ready, then I waited too long, but then I grew up, and now I’m ready again.” Yeah, she was back to her baseline self now. We both entered the giant turnstile door together and crossed the threshold at the same time. I was worried we would have trouble finding the right office, but it turns out CUP had taken over the entire floor. A young woman had been waiting for us as soon as we stepped off the elevator.
“It’s nice to meet you two. My name is Clare, and I’ll be escorting you through today’s interview.” She led us to a conference room and smiled brightly. “Before I introduce you to the president, I have some paperwork I’ll need you to complete.”
She handed us a non-disclosure agreement and sat down across from us. I frowned slightly as I tried to understand what it was saying. I got the gist that we could be both a receiving party and a disclosing party of confidential information from this point forward until the end of time, so… basically whatever happens here stays here? The definition of confidential information consumed the bulk of the agreement, so after a few paragraphs, I just skipped to the end and signed it. Were we really going to be told insider information in a preliminary interview?
Next was a paper asking for our emergency contact information. I filled it in with Mother’s information and handed it to Clare. Nora followed suit.
“You’re interviewing today for the Project Coordinator role in our Special Projects division. This role is a contract-to-hire position. If you’re offered the job today, when will you be able to start?” She looked back and forth between the two of us.
Nora answered promptly. “Immediately!”
I hesitated. “Next week.” I needed time to prepare before just jumping in.
“Are you willing to travel?” Again, she directed the question to the both of us.
“Yes.” We both answered at the same time.
“Wonderful! Do you have any questions for me?”
I raised my hand slightly, as if I was in class. “How many positions are open currently?” I couldn’t tell if we were actually competing or not.
“It will depend on the outcome of today’s interviews.” Clare answered evasively. I tried to exchange a questioning glance with Nora, but she wasn’t looking in my direction.
Clare offered no more information, either. Instead, she stood up and promptly headed for the door. “President Abrams will be with you shortly. It was wonderful to meet you!”
We waited for a few moments in silence, but I couldn’t keep it up.
“This is a weird interview, right? Why did we have to sign a non-disclosure agreement?”
“I’m sure it’s all standard.” Nora’s gaze was fixated on the door.
“Why didn’t she ask us any other questions?”
“She already has the answers from our resumes.”
“Why is the president meeting with us?” I tried again.
“Because he wants to?”
“Isn’t he a little busy just to meet two potential peons?” Something was fishy. It wasn’t even a guaranteed long term position.
“Maybe he enjoys meeting people.” Nora had a comeback for every question I asked.
“Shouldn’t they validate who we are? We could be imposters. Shouldn’t they have checked our identification or something?”
Nora waved me off. “You worry too much.”
“You don’t worry enough,” I muttered back.
Just then, the door to the conference room opened, and an old man in a navy pinstripe suit with a tan complexion entered. His long and contrastingly white hair was pulled back into a slim, low set ponytail. He also harbored a short and neatly trimmed beard of the same color. His eyes were a deep blue and there was a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“Welcome to Cooperative Universal Publications!” His booming, overly dramatic voice filled the conference room, and I jumped slightly.
He suddenly pointed at Nora, and she stood up militantly. “Connecting your world to ours!” Oh, the motto. I remembered it from the webpage.
Then he pointed at me. “Uh…” What was I supposed to do?
President Abrams frowned. “We’ll have to work on that, I see. Anyway! Let’s talk about the Special Projects division.” He sat down at the table with us. “Special Projects is exactly what it sounds like. Special. As in extraordinary. And I’m staffing it with extraordinary people. Are you extraordinary?”
“Absolutely!” Nora slammed her fist down on the table to emphasize her point.
“How about you, Rachel?”
“I mean…” I struggled to answer.
The president turned to Nora. “Is she?”
“She is. She just doesn't like to talk about herself like that.” Wait, what was that just now?
“Do you two... know each other or something?” I asked President Abrams suspiciously.
“Ho ho ho. I know everyone!” I wasn’t hearing a no.
I glared at Nora, and she eventually flinched under my gaze. I momentarily forgot we were in the middle of an interview that affected our financial futures. “Just what’s going on here, Nora? What did you do this time?”
“Ah, as president of The Last Rae of Hope fan club…”
My eyes widened. “Is this why we could only meet up on Sundays? You’ve been running a fan club behind my back? Wait… are you the only reason I have this interview?"
“You applied for the job, so of course that’s not true.” Nora tried her best to sound innocent and indignant. Come to think of it, wasn't Nora the one who had sent me a link to the position? If I recall correctly, she had texted something like ‘you remembered to apply to this one too, right?’ I can only remember things if I knew about them in the first place! You fiend!
“He was right! This isn’t a coincidence at all!” I shouted angrily.
“Who is ‘he’?” Nora eyed me and I suddenly clammed up. Oops.
“Yeah, who is he?” The president wore the same curious expression that Nora had. Seriously, are you two related?
“Nevermind about him! What do you two want from me? What is this all about?”
The president bowed his head at the table. “This is about making amends.”
“Amends?” I blinked.
“Ah, when I was a little younger, I was a little too free with poor advice and I didn’t know all of ‘The Rules’. The special projects division is a way for me to make up for that. Here, we reach out to past content creators and help them reconnect to their worlds while connecting them to ours.”
“I don’t understand… what’s this have to do with us?”
“NoRaeNoWay and the 33 Opportunities for Improvement,” they responded in unison. Was that what people were calling our old diatribe? Did it have some sort of cult following? Was the president in Nora’s fan club?
“Oh, but Nora and I wrote those comments a long time ago. We weren’t even out of high school yet. I can’t even recall everything I said.”
Nora started to confess a little more. “Um, Rae… Those comments, as you call them, are the reasons we have the interview. The author wants to work with us.”
“So when you asked me about those odds yesterday…” I felt my jaw clenching shut again.
“I knew they were 100%.” She hung her head. Shame. Shame on you!
I stared at her for a few moments before I gave in with a sigh. “You really want to do this, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Why be all sneaky about it? Why not just be upfront about the whole thing?”
“You wouldn’t have agreed to it otherwise. The author, I mean, content creator, said I had to get you on board or no deal.” Right, CUP doesn’t use the word author as it wasn’t inclusive enough.
“You’ve actually met the content creator?” I asked in an astonished voice. 'Euphridia' had never, ever responded to any comments from any of her fans.
“No, I’ve only written to her… weekly. For the past year or so. I spoke with her over the phone too, once or twice.” Aha! It must have been killing her that she couldn’t tell me about it for all this time.
“What’s her real name?” I glanced at the president, who was being way too silent now.
“Eura. Eura Abrams.” Nora answered.
“Your daughter?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Mmm… One of my granddaughters, actually! I’m a lot older than I look! Ho ho ho!” I wasn’t trying to compliment him, but it ended up working out that way.
“So I take it we’re here to help your granddaughter get her story going again? Put it back on track so it actually has a happy ending for the good guys?”
“That’s a great way to think about it!”
I frowned. “This seems like a lot of effort to go through just to help your granddaughter with her writer's block…”
“I think the two of you can handle it though, and I owe it to my Eura.”
I pressed for more. “Then the job is for both of us? You’re really going to pay all this money to help? I mean, neither of us even went to school for literature or anything.” We were more like avid consumers of the medium than professional creators.
“No experience as a writer is necessary! The jobs are yours as long as you agree to work together as partners throughout the contract period. There is just one thing.”
“Only one?” I asked.
“Only one that’s important enough to mention.”
“And that is…?”
“My granddaughter… hmm. She means well, but… she has a lot to learn yet. So I hope you can eventually forgive her for all her… mistakes.”
“Written or otherwise?” Nora asked.
“Yes!”
“Ha, I’m fine with that!” Nora turned to me expectantly.
“Well, we all make mistakes so…” I shrugged off his worries distractedly. I was concentrating more on the idea that Nora had manipulated me into getting me a job... that paid a decent wage that aligned so well with our shared hobbies? Should I be mad or happy? I settled on both.
“I knew you’d understand! So, you’re willing to meet with my Eura?” President Abrams asked.
I looked at Nora and her wide puppy dog eyes. “Okay, okay! I agree, so stop giving me that look! But we will have a very, very long and uncomfortable talk about the ends versus the means later. Do you understand me?”
“Yes! Yeeeeesssss!” She started jumping up and down. How unprofessional.
Suddenly, there was a loud pounding at the conference room door followed by an exasperated shout. “Let me in now, old man! I can’t wait any longer!”
Euphridia
Omake
Nora: Hold up! Self-insertion is definitely a rule-breaker!
Euphridia: What? I play a very important role!
Nora: You still broke a rule.
Euphridia: What do you want from me?
Nora: Accountability.
Euphridia: You're absolutely relentless!
Euphridia
[Please note, I have also added a new "Chapter 0" today as well. Please enjoy!]
The North American headquarters for Cooperative Universal Publishing was tucked away on the 7th floor of a tall skyscraper in New York City. Nora and I had split a rideshare where I spent most of the hour-long trip doing everything I could to keep her from throwing up. When we finally arrived, we spent a good twenty minutes waiting for the color to return to her face. How was she going to handle the daily commute at this rate?
“Ready to go inside?” I asked cautiously.
“I was born ready, then I waited too long, but then I grew up, and now I’m ready again.” Yeah, she was back to her baseline self now. We both entered the giant turnstile door together and crossed the threshold at the same time. I was worried we would have trouble finding the right office, but it turns out CUP had taken over the entire floor. A young woman had been waiting for us as soon as we stepped off the elevator.
“It’s nice to meet you two. My name is Clare, and I’ll be escorting you through today’s interview.” She led us to a conference room and smiled brightly. “Before I introduce you to the president, I have some paperwork I’ll need you to complete.”
She handed us a non-disclosure agreement and sat down across from us. I frowned slightly as I tried to understand what it was saying. I got the gist that we could be both a receiving party and a disclosing party of confidential information from this point forward until the end of time, so… basically whatever happens here stays here? The definition of confidential information consumed the bulk of the agreement, so after a few paragraphs, I just skipped to the end and signed it. Were we really going to be told insider information in a preliminary interview?
Next was a paper asking for our emergency contact information. I filled it in with Mother’s information and handed it to Clare. Nora followed suit.
“You’re interviewing today for the Project Coordinator role in our Special Projects division. This role is a contract-to-hire position. If you’re offered the job today, when will you be able to start?” She looked back and forth between the two of us.
Nora answered promptly. “Immediately!”
I hesitated. “Next week.” I needed time to prepare before just jumping in.
“Are you willing to travel?” Again, she directed the question to the both of us.
“Yes.” We both answered at the same time.
“Wonderful! Do you have any questions for me?”
I raised my hand slightly, as if I was in class. “How many positions are open currently?” I couldn’t tell if we were actually competing or not.
“It will depend on the outcome of today’s interviews.” Clare answered evasively. I tried to exchange a questioning glance with Nora, but she wasn’t looking in my direction.
Clare offered no more information, either. Instead, she stood up and promptly headed for the door. “President Abrams will be with you shortly. It was wonderful to meet you!”
We waited for a few moments in silence, but I couldn’t keep it up.
“This is a weird interview, right? Why did we have to sign a non-disclosure agreement?”
“I’m sure it’s all standard.” Nora’s gaze was fixated on the door.
“Why didn’t she ask us any other questions?”
“She already has the answers from our resumes.”
“Why is the president meeting with us?” I tried again.
“Because he wants to?”
“Isn’t he a little busy just to meet two potential peons?” Something was fishy. It wasn’t even a guaranteed long term position.
“Maybe he enjoys meeting people.” Nora had a comeback for every question I asked.
“Shouldn’t they validate who we are? We could be imposters. Shouldn’t they have checked our identification or something?”
Nora waved me off. “You worry too much.”
“You don’t worry enough,” I muttered back.
Just then, the door to the conference room opened, and an old man in a navy pinstripe suit with a tan complexion entered. His long and contrastingly white hair was pulled back into a slim, low set ponytail. He also harbored a short and neatly trimmed beard of the same color. His eyes were a deep blue and there was a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“Welcome to Cooperative Universal Publications!” His booming, overly dramatic voice filled the conference room, and I jumped slightly.
He suddenly pointed at Nora, and she stood up militantly. “Connecting your world to ours!” Oh, the motto. I remembered it from the webpage.
Then he pointed at me. “Uh…” What was I supposed to do?
President Abrams frowned. “We’ll have to work on that, I see. Anyway! Let’s talk about the Special Projects division.” He sat down at the table with us. “Special Projects is exactly what it sounds like. Special. As in extraordinary. And I’m staffing it with extraordinary people. Are you extraordinary?”
“Absolutely!” Nora slammed her fist down on the table to emphasize her point.
“How about you, Rachel?”
“I mean…” I struggled to answer.
The president turned to Nora. “Is she?”
“She is. She just doesn't like to talk about herself like that.” Wait, what was that just now?
“Do you two... know each other or something?” I asked President Abrams suspiciously.
“Ho ho ho. I know everyone!” I wasn’t hearing a no.
I glared at Nora, and she eventually flinched under my gaze. I momentarily forgot we were in the middle of an interview that affected our financial futures. “Just what’s going on here, Nora? What did you do this time?”
“Ah, as president of The Last Rae of Hope fan club…”
My eyes widened. “Is this why we could only meet up on Sundays? You’ve been running a fan club behind my back? Wait… are you the only reason I have this interview?"
“You applied for the job, so of course that’s not true.” Nora tried her best to sound innocent and indignant. Come to think of it, wasn't Nora the one who had sent me a link to the position? If I recall correctly, she had texted something like ‘you remembered to apply to this one too, right?’ I can only remember things if I knew about them in the first place! You fiend!
“He was right! This isn’t a coincidence at all!” I shouted angrily.
“Who is ‘he’?” Nora eyed me and I suddenly clammed up. Oops.
“Yeah, who is he?” The president wore the same curious expression that Nora had. Seriously, are you two related?
“Nevermind about him! What do you two want from me? What is this all about?”
The president bowed his head at the table. “This is about making amends.”
“Amends?” I blinked.
“Ah, when I was a little younger, I was a little too free with poor advice and I didn’t know all of ‘The Rules’. The special projects division is a way for me to make up for that. Here, we reach out to past content creators and help them reconnect to their worlds while connecting them to ours.”
“I don’t understand… what’s this have to do with us?”
“NoRaeNoWay and the 33 Opportunities for Improvement,” they responded in unison. Was that what people were calling our old diatribe? Did it have some sort of cult following? Was the president in Nora’s fan club?
“Oh, but Nora and I wrote those comments a long time ago. We weren’t even out of high school yet. I can’t even recall everything I said.”
Nora started to confess a little more. “Um, Rae… Those comments, as you call them, are the reasons we have the interview. The author wants to work with us.”
“So when you asked me about those odds yesterday…” I felt my jaw clenching shut again.
“I knew they were 100%.” She hung her head. Shame. Shame on you!
I stared at her for a few moments before I gave in with a sigh. “You really want to do this, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Why be all sneaky about it? Why not just be upfront about the whole thing?”
“You wouldn’t have agreed to it otherwise. The author, I mean, content creator, said I had to get you on board or no deal.” Right, CUP doesn’t use the word author as it wasn’t inclusive enough.
“You’ve actually met the content creator?” I asked in an astonished voice. 'Euphridia' had never, ever responded to any comments from any of her fans.
“No, I’ve only written to her… weekly. For the past year or so. I spoke with her over the phone too, once or twice.” Aha! It must have been killing her that she couldn’t tell me about it for all this time.
“What’s her real name?” I glanced at the president, who was being way too silent now.
“Eura. Eura Abrams.” Nora answered.
“Your daughter?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Mmm… One of my granddaughters, actually! I’m a lot older than I look! Ho ho ho!” I wasn’t trying to compliment him, but it ended up working out that way.
“So I take it we’re here to help your granddaughter get her story going again? Put it back on track so it actually has a happy ending for the good guys?”
“That’s a great way to think about it!”
I frowned. “This seems like a lot of effort to go through just to help your granddaughter with her writer's block…”
“I think the two of you can handle it though, and I owe it to my Eura.”
I pressed for more. “Then the job is for both of us? You’re really going to pay all this money to help? I mean, neither of us even went to school for literature or anything.” We were more like avid consumers of the medium than professional creators.
“No experience as a writer is necessary! The jobs are yours as long as you agree to work together as partners throughout the contract period. There is just one thing.”
“Only one?” I asked.
“Only one that’s important enough to mention.”
“And that is…?”
“My granddaughter… hmm. She means well, but… she has a lot to learn yet. So I hope you can eventually forgive her for all her… mistakes.”
“Written or otherwise?” Nora asked.
“Yes!”
“Ha, I’m fine with that!” Nora turned to me expectantly.
“Well, we all make mistakes so…” I shrugged off his worries distractedly. I was concentrating more on the idea that Nora had manipulated me into getting me a job... that paid a decent wage that aligned so well with our shared hobbies? Should I be mad or happy? I settled on both.
“I knew you’d understand! So, you’re willing to meet with my Eura?” President Abrams asked.
I looked at Nora and her wide puppy dog eyes. “Okay, okay! I agree, so stop giving me that look! But we will have a very, very long and uncomfortable talk about the ends versus the means later. Do you understand me?”
“Yes! Yeeeeesssss!” She started jumping up and down. How unprofessional.
Suddenly, there was a loud pounding at the conference room door followed by an exasperated shout. “Let me in now, old man! I can’t wait any longer!”
Euphridia
Omake
Nora: Hold up! Self-insertion is definitely a rule-breaker!
Euphridia: What? I play a very important role!
Nora: You still broke a rule.
Euphridia: What do you want from me?
Nora: Accountability.
Euphridia: You're absolutely relentless!
