"Oh, yes. This is life!” I chuckle as I spin around.
Right now, I’m seated in one of those luxurious office chairs in a dark room. In front of me, several screens illuminate my face and give it a mysterious feel.
I put my feet on top of the table and lean backward in the most comfortable position. Then, I start petting the Octocat resting on the armrest.
“Welcome! Welcome to my dungeon, ladies and gentlemen! Ah, no, it’s only ladies… *Khm!*” I make a fake cough. “Welcome to my dungeon, ladies! I’ve been waiting for this day! Let’s see how far you can go before falling into despair! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
As I laugh, I raise my hands up high. Hey, look at the shadow! It has such an epic shape!
“They’re here.”
I stare at one of the screens. This one shows the entrance to my dungeon. In it, two light flashes appear, followed by several more light flashes of less intensity. The teleportation has finished.
The first ‘lady’ spins around in glee as she talks to the second ‘lady’. “We’re here! Hehehe!”
“Yes, we’re here.”
“This is the first time I know more than you about what’s to come! Do you want me to be the guide?”
“No, there’s no need. I want to see everything for myself.”
“Is that so… But I wanted to guide you…” Says the first ‘lady’ in a sullen tone.
“Next time, ok?”
“Yes…”
I’m sure you know what’s going on by now, so I’m not going to explain anything. Ok, you got me…
After the tournament match where we used this ‘control room’, I improved it and placed it inside my dungeon. Now, if I decide to ‘defend’ my dungeon, I can come here and watch and hear everything the invaders do while comfortably sitting on my chair.
And in case I want to say something, I installed speakers throughout the whole dungeon. Today might be the first day I use them if I want to say something to my sisters.
Oh, and I can also control some of the traps and mechanisms from here too. For example, the other day I manually opened a few of the sealed doors in the failed experiments area. It was because I got angry at some random orc player spouting bullshit about me.
Marta, in her Seraphim champion, calmly looks around.
“So this is his dungeon, huh?” She furrows her brows. “Is this all you have? Compared to what I read in the forums, it’s too lame.”
“Of course not! The funny and interesting stuff is inside! We’re just at the entrance!”
Thank you, Clara. You’re so adorable, sometimes… Though your behavior and aspect don’t currently match.
As you expect, this is because she’s utilizing the usual tentacle aberration champion. I had enough Abyss stuff yesterday, and I didn’t want to have anything to do with them today, but I couldn’t tell her not to come only because of this, don’t you think?
“Andreu, I’m sure you’re watching this.” Says Marta. “Are you ready to see how I crush your dungeon?”
Crush my dungeon? Easy to say when you bring your strongest champion and support mobs. I don’t think it’s possible for you to die. Not at all, unless you literally fall into every trap and ambush.
But the question you should be asking isn’t that one, Marta. What you should be asking yourself is how far you can go without suffering, hahaha!
“You can try it if you want.” My voice sounds through the speakers.
“Hyah!” Marta makes a cute cry. I’m sure she didn’t expect to hear my answer. But she quickly calms down. “Umm… Are you using speakers?”
“Yes. You sure know your stuff.”
“Of course I do! Who do you think I am!?”
Who do I think you are? You’re my annoying and stuck-up older sister.
“Hey, Andreu. Since we can talk freely, you’ll answer any question I have, right?” Clara ignores our bickering and asks me a question.
I don’t see any reason I shouldn’t. “Sure, why not.”
“Also… Can you give me one of those Octocats for me to hug? Please?”
I don’t mind, but don’t you know you’ll kill it as soon as your Decaying Touch activates? Well, there’s no reason to say no, and she’ll be happy, so who cares.
“...ok, I’ll put it near the entrance.”
“Yay!”
The two finally start the invasion and soon reach the cave’s mouth. As they come in and see the glowing screaming mushrooms and giant claw marks, Marta furrows her brows.
“Hmm…” She groans.
Is that disdain? Or disguised approval? It’s hard to see through the screen…
I’m looking forward to seeing her cry and despair during the invasion. I don’t think she will die, and the chances are even lower since Clara, who knows everything about my dungeon, is with her. But this doesn’t mean she can’t get annoyed at what might happen during the invasion.
I’m sure she won’t expect most of the stuff I’ve prepared. I mean, the usual dungeon stuff. It isn’t as if I have prepared anything against her in particular.
Oh, yeah! Before I forget, I must ask for assistance with something.
“Clara, before ending the dungeon invasion, do you mind going to a place I’ll tell you so I can capture some of your Abyss units? This way I won’t have to come into your dungeon…”
“Sure thing!”
“Eh? Why should I do it for you? Also, what would you gain even if I do it? My units are too expensive for you to use right now.”
“I already know. And I didn’t ask you, Marta. I only asked Clara.”
She drops her head and mutters. “...Is that so…?”
Is it disappointment she’s expressing right now? Can it actually be possible!? Can it be she actually wanted to help me?
Nah, no way that’s true. Let’s ignore her comment.
“Ehehe! Don’t worry, I’m going to help him since you can’t!” Says Clara while patting Marta’s back.
“Ugh…!”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what you call ‘rubbing salt into the wound’.
“See this, Clara? This is what I was telling you yesterday. It’s been five minutes since we started the invasion, and the only thing that happened so far is that the dungeon’s theme has been established.”
“I see…”
“In contrast, in your dungeon, by the time the mood was set, I could see the dungeon core.”
As they approach the entrance to the big cave, Marta turns her head around and starts to teach Clara.
By the way… is Marta praising me?
“Of course, this is an unnecessarily long entrance that takes too much time to cover. Even if you run, it would take about a full minute, which is too much for any player. So you don’t have to copy it because it’s useless. But you get the idea, right?”
And… Pop! The bubble burst and I return to reality. Yeah, there’s no way she can simply praise me. There must always be something else. That ‘something else’ is usually contempt.
Marta makes the first step inside the cave. She adds.
“Ok, so this is it. From now on, don’t warn me about dangers or tell me what’s going to happen next. I need to see it for myself to give the best feedback.”
“Sure thing.” Answers Clara. She’s tightly hugging an Octocat’s corpse, the one she asked me for. Is she going to drag it through the whole dungeon? “...I wonder if there’ll be an Octocat plushie somewhere… it’s so cute!”
For once, we both agree on something being cute.
Marta advances with a hand on her chin as she looks around. By now, I’m sure they can hear the cries and moans of the Demonic Swarmers and other stuff.
Maybe they already saw some of their shadows moving through the cavern.
“Hmm… giant mushrooms, rocks and rubble, cliffs, stalactites and stalagmites… This looks like a perfect place for ambushes. But ambushes from the get-go? Isn’t it a little too much if this is the first thing the invaders encounter?”
You’re only 50% right, Marta.
First, ambushes aren’t everything that can happen here. And second, the monsters that can ambush you are kind or random, and weak. It’s close to impossible for a player to die as soon as he or she steps in here.
And talking about ambushes…
*Swish!* A black projectile flies in Marta’s direction. It comes from behind her.
“!”
She jumps forward right before the impact, successfully avoiding it. Then, she counterattacks with a flying blade. But it’s too bad for her because the Goblimp hides behind the rock on time.
How did she do it? Does she have eyes on her back? How can she not only avoid the attack but also launch a perfectly aimed counter, all of it without seeing anything!?
“Tsk!” Marta clicks her tongue. “Sneaky one, huh?”
“Wow, that was amazing! How did you do it?” Asks Clara.
Yeah, how did you do it? I want to know it too.
“Practice.”
This is the only answer she gives before furrowing her brows, turning around, and continuing the dungeon invasion.
“Will I be able to do it in the future too?” Asks Clara with gleaming eyes. Well, I’m sure they would be gleaming if her champion had eyes.
“I’m sure you will if you train hard enough.”
Clara pumps her tentacle fist. “Then, I’ll train even harder!”
The Goblimp peeks from behind the rock to see what my sisters and their support mobs are doing. Right now, its AI should be assessing if it should attack, follow after them and look for an opportunity to strike, or run away.
But before it can make a decision, Marta swings her sword once again and a second flying blade rushes in its direction, killing both the goblin and imp halves before they can hide behind the boulder.
And she does so as if it were completely natural.
No, no, no, no! Wait a moment! This isn’t possible!
I could understand if she heard the first attack, predicted where it came from and counterattacked. But not this time! The Goblimp was standing still, doing nothing!
The only reasonable explanation is that she can somehow see behind her…
Now that I think about it, didn’t she have her eyes closed? I’m sure she must’ve used some kind of vision skill to impress both of us.
“Wow, so cool! How did you do it?”
Marta smirks after confirming the kill. “Heh! This is nothing.”
I knew it! She’s doing this to show off!
The worst is that I must admit it kind of works. Only kind of. You need a lot more to impress me.
After this short fight, if you can call this a ‘fight’, the two continue the dungeon invasion.
The following monsters they find are a group of Demonic Swarmers, as well as the two Goblimp Pests that take this chance to strike.
*AaAaAaAa!*
The disgusting shouts echo throughout the big cave. Since Marta told her to stay put and leave everything to her, Clara puts her hands on top of the ear area to muffle the sound.
Does it work at all? Your champion doesn’t have ears, after all…
The shouts call for the closest Demonic Swarmers, and they soon join the fight. Or should I say massacre instead? That’s the only way I can describe it.
It’s like throwing eggs into a rock. The Demonic Swarmer comes close to my sister’s group and dies in a few strikes. Those that end up fighting Marta, die in a single one instead, two if they’re really lucky. This scene repeats until there are no more of my monsters remaining.
“These monsters are… interesting?” Says Marta after the fight ends. “But if you’re even slightly smarter than this pebble I’m stepping on, I’m sure you know what’s wrong with them, am I right?”
What can I say? She’s right.
The Demonic Swarmers were ok in the past. I’m talking about when I and the dungeon were in the beginning steps. But now… they’ve been left behind.
Waaaaay behind.
I didn’t notice until now because they’re still an obstacle when it comes to some players, but I saw it clearly in this fight. They aren’t strong enough to act as ‘strong monsters’, and there aren’t enough of them to act as ‘swarmers’ either.
Plus the main reason I created them, the mushrooms, makes no sense because the place most players fight them is inside this cave, where there are no mushrooms…
Right now, they’re useless. Kind of.
“I’ll ask you more about them later because I can’t really understand what they’re supposed to do with only this fight.”
“Sure…”
“Hey, what’s wrong with them? I don’t understand…” Asks Clara.
“Don’t worry about it, Clara. I’ll explain it later to you too.”
Clara pouts. At least her tone is the same as the one she uses when pouting. “Muu… I’m always the one left behind! This isn’t fair!”
“In my opinion, the best way to improve your dungeon is to ask somebody else for help. Ask them to dive into your dungeon and give their honest opinion on what they liked, what they didn’t, and most importantly, what stuff they thought was missing.
Of course, the best is to get feedback from an experienced player, but if you can’t any player will do. Though it’s possible your vision of the dungeon and theirs don’t align. In that case, making the changes they suggest would instead damage your dungeon.”
- Excerpt of an interview with a high-ranking DMA player.
"Oh, yes. This is life!” I chuckle as I spin around.
Right now, I’m seated in one of those luxurious office chairs in a dark room. In front of me, several screens illuminate my face and give it a mysterious feel.
I put my feet on top of the table and lean backward in the most comfortable position. Then, I start petting the Octocat resting on the armrest.
“Welcome! Welcome to my dungeon, ladies and gentlemen! Ah, no, it’s only ladies… *Khm!*” I make a fake cough. “Welcome to my dungeon, ladies! I’ve been waiting for this day! Let’s see how far you can go before falling into despair! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
As I laugh, I raise my hands up high. Hey, look at the shadow! It has such an epic shape!
“They’re here.”
I stare at one of the screens. This one shows the entrance to my dungeon. In it, two light flashes appear, followed by several more light flashes of less intensity. The teleportation has finished.
The first ‘lady’ spins around in glee as she talks to the second ‘lady’. “We’re here! Hehehe!”
“Yes, we’re here.”
“This is the first time I know more than you about what’s to come! Do you want me to be the guide?”
“No, there’s no need. I want to see everything for myself.”
“Is that so… But I wanted to guide you…” Says the first ‘lady’ in a sullen tone.
“Next time, ok?”
“Yes…”
I’m sure you know what’s going on by now, so I’m not going to explain anything. Ok, you got me…
After the tournament match where we used this ‘control room’, I improved it and placed it inside my dungeon. Now, if I decide to ‘defend’ my dungeon, I can come here and watch and hear everything the invaders do while comfortably sitting on my chair.
And in case I want to say something, I installed speakers throughout the whole dungeon. Today might be the first day I use them if I want to say something to my sisters.
Oh, and I can also control some of the traps and mechanisms from here too. For example, the other day I manually opened a few of the sealed doors in the failed experiments area. It was because I got angry at some random orc player spouting bullshit about me.
Marta, in her Seraphim champion, calmly looks around.
“So this is his dungeon, huh?” She furrows her brows. “Is this all you have? Compared to what I read in the forums, it’s too lame.”
“Of course not! The funny and interesting stuff is inside! We’re just at the entrance!”
Thank you, Clara. You’re so adorable, sometimes… Though your behavior and aspect don’t currently match.
As you expect, this is because she’s utilizing the usual tentacle aberration champion. I had enough Abyss stuff yesterday, and I didn’t want to have anything to do with them today, but I couldn’t tell her not to come only because of this, don’t you think?
“Andreu, I’m sure you’re watching this.” Says Marta. “Are you ready to see how I crush your dungeon?”
Crush my dungeon? Easy to say when you bring your strongest champion and support mobs. I don’t think it’s possible for you to die. Not at all, unless you literally fall into every trap and ambush.
But the question you should be asking isn’t that one, Marta. What you should be asking yourself is how far you can go without suffering, hahaha!
“You can try it if you want.” My voice sounds through the speakers.
“Hyah!” Marta makes a cute cry. I’m sure she didn’t expect to hear my answer. But she quickly calms down. “Umm… Are you using speakers?”
“Yes. You sure know your stuff.”
“Of course I do! Who do you think I am!?”
Who do I think you are? You’re my annoying and stuck-up older sister.
“Hey, Andreu. Since we can talk freely, you’ll answer any question I have, right?” Clara ignores our bickering and asks me a question.
I don’t see any reason I shouldn’t. “Sure, why not.”
“Also… Can you give me one of those Octocats for me to hug? Please?”
I don’t mind, but don’t you know you’ll kill it as soon as your Decaying Touch activates? Well, there’s no reason to say no, and she’ll be happy, so who cares.
“...ok, I’ll put it near the entrance.”
“Yay!”
The two finally start the invasion and soon reach the cave’s mouth. As they come in and see the glowing screaming mushrooms and giant claw marks, Marta furrows her brows.
“Hmm…” She groans.
Is that disdain? Or disguised approval? It’s hard to see through the screen…
I’m looking forward to seeing her cry and despair during the invasion. I don’t think she will die, and the chances are even lower since Clara, who knows everything about my dungeon, is with her. But this doesn’t mean she can’t get annoyed at what might happen during the invasion.
I’m sure she won’t expect most of the stuff I’ve prepared. I mean, the usual dungeon stuff. It isn’t as if I have prepared anything against her in particular.
Oh, yeah! Before I forget, I must ask for assistance with something.
“Clara, before ending the dungeon invasion, do you mind going to a place I’ll tell you so I can capture some of your Abyss units? This way I won’t have to come into your dungeon…”
“Sure thing!”
“Eh? Why should I do it for you? Also, what would you gain even if I do it? My units are too expensive for you to use right now.”
“I already know. And I didn’t ask you, Marta. I only asked Clara.”
She drops her head and mutters. “...Is that so…?”
Is it disappointment she’s expressing right now? Can it actually be possible!? Can it be she actually wanted to help me?
Nah, no way that’s true. Let’s ignore her comment.
“Ehehe! Don’t worry, I’m going to help him since you can’t!” Says Clara while patting Marta’s back.
“Ugh…!”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what you call ‘rubbing salt into the wound’.
“See this, Clara? This is what I was telling you yesterday. It’s been five minutes since we started the invasion, and the only thing that happened so far is that the dungeon’s theme has been established.”
“I see…”
“In contrast, in your dungeon, by the time the mood was set, I could see the dungeon core.”
As they approach the entrance to the big cave, Marta turns her head around and starts to teach Clara.
By the way… is Marta praising me?
“Of course, this is an unnecessarily long entrance that takes too much time to cover. Even if you run, it would take about a full minute, which is too much for any player. So you don’t have to copy it because it’s useless. But you get the idea, right?”
And… Pop! The bubble burst and I return to reality. Yeah, there’s no way she can simply praise me. There must always be something else. That ‘something else’ is usually contempt.
Marta makes the first step inside the cave. She adds.
“Ok, so this is it. From now on, don’t warn me about dangers or tell me what’s going to happen next. I need to see it for myself to give the best feedback.”
“Sure thing.” Answers Clara. She’s tightly hugging an Octocat’s corpse, the one she asked me for. Is she going to drag it through the whole dungeon? “...I wonder if there’ll be an Octocat plushie somewhere… it’s so cute!”
For once, we both agree on something being cute.
Marta advances with a hand on her chin as she looks around. By now, I’m sure they can hear the cries and moans of the Demonic Swarmers and other stuff.
Maybe they already saw some of their shadows moving through the cavern.
“Hmm… giant mushrooms, rocks and rubble, cliffs, stalactites and stalagmites… This looks like a perfect place for ambushes. But ambushes from the get-go? Isn’t it a little too much if this is the first thing the invaders encounter?”
You’re only 50% right, Marta.
First, ambushes aren’t everything that can happen here. And second, the monsters that can ambush you are kind or random, and weak. It’s close to impossible for a player to die as soon as he or she steps in here.
And talking about ambushes…
*Swish!* A black projectile flies in Marta’s direction. It comes from behind her.
“!”
She jumps forward right before the impact, successfully avoiding it. Then, she counterattacks with a flying blade. But it’s too bad for her because the Goblimp hides behind the rock on time.
How did she do it? Does she have eyes on her back? How can she not only avoid the attack but also launch a perfectly aimed counter, all of it without seeing anything!?
“Tsk!” Marta clicks her tongue. “Sneaky one, huh?”
“Wow, that was amazing! How did you do it?” Asks Clara.
Yeah, how did you do it? I want to know it too.
“Practice.”
This is the only answer she gives before furrowing her brows, turning around, and continuing the dungeon invasion.
“Will I be able to do it in the future too?” Asks Clara with gleaming eyes. Well, I’m sure they would be gleaming if her champion had eyes.
“I’m sure you will if you train hard enough.”
Clara pumps her tentacle fist. “Then, I’ll train even harder!”
The Goblimp peeks from behind the rock to see what my sisters and their support mobs are doing. Right now, its AI should be assessing if it should attack, follow after them and look for an opportunity to strike, or run away.
But before it can make a decision, Marta swings her sword once again and a second flying blade rushes in its direction, killing both the goblin and imp halves before they can hide behind the boulder.
And she does so as if it were completely natural.
No, no, no, no! Wait a moment! This isn’t possible!
I could understand if she heard the first attack, predicted where it came from and counterattacked. But not this time! The Goblimp was standing still, doing nothing!
The only reasonable explanation is that she can somehow see behind her…
Now that I think about it, didn’t she have her eyes closed? I’m sure she must’ve used some kind of vision skill to impress both of us.
“Wow, so cool! How did you do it?”
Marta smirks after confirming the kill. “Heh! This is nothing.”
I knew it! She’s doing this to show off!
The worst is that I must admit it kind of works. Only kind of. You need a lot more to impress me.
After this short fight, if you can call this a ‘fight’, the two continue the dungeon invasion.
The following monsters they find are a group of Demonic Swarmers, as well as the two Goblimp Pests that take this chance to strike.
*AaAaAaAa!*
The disgusting shouts echo throughout the big cave. Since Marta told her to stay put and leave everything to her, Clara puts her hands on top of the ear area to muffle the sound.
Does it work at all? Your champion doesn’t have ears, after all…
The shouts call for the closest Demonic Swarmers, and they soon join the fight. Or should I say massacre instead? That’s the only way I can describe it.
It’s like throwing eggs into a rock. The Demonic Swarmer comes close to my sister’s group and dies in a few strikes. Those that end up fighting Marta, die in a single one instead, two if they’re really lucky. This scene repeats until there are no more of my monsters remaining.
“These monsters are… interesting?” Says Marta after the fight ends. “But if you’re even slightly smarter than this pebble I’m stepping on, I’m sure you know what’s wrong with them, am I right?”
What can I say? She’s right.
The Demonic Swarmers were ok in the past. I’m talking about when I and the dungeon were in the beginning steps. But now… they’ve been left behind.
Waaaaay behind.
I didn’t notice until now because they’re still an obstacle when it comes to some players, but I saw it clearly in this fight. They aren’t strong enough to act as ‘strong monsters’, and there aren’t enough of them to act as ‘swarmers’ either.
Plus the main reason I created them, the mushrooms, makes no sense because the place most players fight them is inside this cave, where there are no mushrooms…
Right now, they’re useless. Kind of.
“I’ll ask you more about them later because I can’t really understand what they’re supposed to do with only this fight.”
“Sure…”
“Hey, what’s wrong with them? I don’t understand…” Asks Clara.
“Don’t worry about it, Clara. I’ll explain it later to you too.”
Clara pouts. At least her tone is the same as the one she uses when pouting. “Muu… I’m always the one left behind! This isn’t fair!”
“In my opinion, the best way to improve your dungeon is to ask somebody else for help. Ask them to dive into your dungeon and give their honest opinion on what they liked, what they didn’t, and most importantly, what stuff they thought was missing.
Of course, the best is to get feedback from an experienced player, but if you can’t any player will do. Though it’s possible your vision of the dungeon and theirs don’t align. In that case, making the changes they suggest would instead damage your dungeon.”
- Excerpt of an interview with a high-ranking DMA player.
