This novel is actually a spin off of another novel by the same author, called 主角每天吐血三升 (The Protagonist Spits Three Liters Of Blood Every Day, I think? I’m bad at translating names), in which the MC ends up transmigrating into ‘Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands’ as its protagonist after letting Ye Mingjun cut his queue in the underworld XD It was written before this particular novel, so there’ll be a few references to it in here. This can be totally read on its own, though.
Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.
Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).
Translated by: Yujuan
Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands was a mystical book among the male-orientated novels, and in the past, it had been a top-ranking feel-good novel with its virtually pretentious protagonist and a daily 30k word update schedule as if its author had no need for sleep. However, just when everyone believed this was the birth of yet another great god, it was reduced to a pitfall novel with the largest amount of bad reviews within just a week, that even the readers themselves assembled to investigate the author, swearing to team up so they could send him blades[1] in good time.
From then on, as long as there was a novel with a bad ending, the readers would compare it with Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, then gratifyingly realized that no matter an eunuch novel[2] or a crappy plot, it was better than having crap savagely shoved into your face in the middle of enjoying your cake, and so let off the quivering authors of BE novels, then returned to cursing a certain person’s immediate family in the novel’s review section.
This was the norm which continued for a year after the completion of Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands. The female lead hadn’t been collected, fine; the protagonist was mentally challenged, fine; even with the fact that the author had abruptly entered the palace to become an eunuch, once they abandoned their keyboards, everyone could still converse jovially. However, if you said a single word of praise about Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, my apologies, please get the hell out of my friend list.
Ji Mo had had a ten-year experience as a reader before becoming a writer, and naturally he had read this Jianghu[3] legend among all BE novels. From what he could analyze, the reason why it felt great reading Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands was because of Ye Mingjun’s indifferent attitude, which disregarded everything around him. Where there was a treasure the various major forces would do anything in their power to get their hands on, he would simply fish out something better; when the female lead wished to rule, wished to conquer the immortal world, he would just reply with an ‘Oh, you can have it then’, and went on to actually conquer the world and gift it to his harem, seemingly as if the world was just a toy to him.
All the princes and marquises of various countries, the countless immortals in the world, were simply just children asking for candy in his eyes. He would reward anyone who made him happy, raising a hand to discipline anyone unruly or caused trouble, quite a considerably high level of pretentiousness.
And yet, just when the plot reached its halfway point, entering the Godly Realm, a shocking twist was introduced into the novel’s story line. The protagonist’s harem had actually been plotting to use him, and everything he had been through was just a ploy devised by the others. These women had been deliberately confounding right and wrong, fabricating all sorts of lies and using him to gain power and status, persecuting the righteous, even hounding his current body’s biological mother to death. When all of this was discovered by him, his first wife, who had been the only one to have been true to him, had long since fully experienced his neglect after being defeated in the harem’s power struggles.
Immediately after that, a seemingly god-like conclusion emerged, and the protagonist’s harem started to turn on each other. Ye Mingjun, who had disposed of them, wished to reconcile with his first wife, but was disappointingly stabbed through the heart by her instead. The end.
In its conclusion, the white-robed immortal looked at the world he had conquered, and chose to behead himself with no attachments, his expression as indifferent as before, leaving only but a sigh, “The love and hate in this world, is nothing more than this.”
Yes, the feels-good novel abused its protagonist, its harem struggling for power, and the antagonist’s reputation whitewashed[4] after his miserable death, at last killing off the male and female leads, with not a single happy ending for any character with a surname in this story. In just a single week, this novel had plunged three thousand feet below, collapsing like the Lushan waterfalls.
The scariest part was that, when Ji Mo returned with earnest to flip through the book, he discovered all kinds of foreshadowing scattered throughout the beginning phase, which meant this ill-intended conclusion hadn’t gone off the rails, but something that was planned from the start. At that moment, even with his composure, he couldn’t stop himself from creating a sock puppet to join the teams in cursing the author.
Regardless of whether it fell in line with the novel stereotypes, or had been written out of literary pursuit, Ji Mo could not understand why there was a plot filled with such malice towards its protagonist. At last, he came to a conclusion, which was that either the novel’s author, Next Door Neighbor Old Wang[5], had been cuckolded by a person named Ye Mingjun, or he had been dumped by his girlfriend and was now venting his anger at society. In any case, there was most definitely something unusual with his mental state.
Of course, what he was concerned of at the moment wasn’t the reason for this godly BE novel’s birth, but why Ye Mingjun, who was already disillusioned with mortal affairs, had appeared in this world, and with a weird tool such as the Romance Capture System by his side?
As far as Ji Mo could recall, there wasn’t a constant to their story lines when the Celestials arrived, but as long as there was a protagonist whose story had been completed, their status would basically be set during their grand finale when they appeared in this world. Moreover, due to their bonus of completion, they would be far stronger than any protagonist whose work was in progress.
He was definitely sure a system hadn’t existed in Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, and with how Ye Mingjun had been so easily fooled by the harem that had thrown themselves at him, it seemed quite impossible that he would be interested in men. If he hadn’t fabricated a name to deceive him, that meant there was something different about this guy compared to the other Celestials.
Perhaps they would be able to uncover the reason for the Celestials’ arrival from this Ye Mingjun.
“Introductory mission has been completed, unsealing 1% of your power, would you like to be immediately issued a primary-stage capture mission?”
Just as Ji Mo was instinctively analyzing this person’s identity, the System’s high-grade customer service voice transferred over, and the Hook Snake, who had been a position ready to attack, abruptly slipped out as if it had lost its target, the man’s timely explanation ringing by his ear,
“I can only use a small invisibility spell with my current cultivation, it’ll go elsewhere once it loses sight of us.”
Not even able to defeat a Hook Snake, was this guy really that pretentious Ye Mingjun?
Looking at this person very doubtfully, Ji Mo realized that this Xianjun did not seem to think anything wrong with cloaking himself to evade a demonic beast, a far cry from the other domineering and lofty protagonists indeed. However, while there was no way of determining the other’s strength, he had no other choice right now, and quickly abandoned all his personal emotions, making the most suitable response at present,
“The Demon Lord only has one prince, and since he’s come to personally attack, it might not be as simple as occupying a small town before he stops, I reckon they’ll take on all the surrounding cities at once to seal off the Godly Continent’s southern region. Since you do not have the means of protecting yourself, sir, why don’t you come along with me? It’ll be much easier looking after each other’s backs.”
From what Ji Mo could analyze, Ye Mingjun had no means of obtaining information about this world other than himself, and he who wasn’t good at fighting needed to collaborate with a Celestial; he probably wouldn’t refuse benefiting from each other. In truth, Ye Mingjun did not refuse, but his response was completely different to his expectations. The guy merely shot a glance at the Hook Snake in the distance, as if he didn’t seem to think there was anything threatening in the road ahead, and said with a light smile, “Okay, you can count on me.”
Just where had he gotten that confidence of his from? Could the matter of his seal have been just a hoax? But, why would he do such a nonsensical thing?
Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands had a very mysterious plot, and as its protagonist, Ye Mingjun’s behavior absolutely couldn’t be judged with common sense. Ji Mo couldn’t tell his words between truth and lies for the time being, and could only uphold his principle of being cautious, nodding at him with a friendly attitude, “Happy to work with you.”
Ji Mo’s mask was called Wuyan[6], a godly artifact that the ruler of the Godly Continent, High Priest Su Ge, had personally refined for him, and as long as he had this on, nothing within a radius of a hundred li[7] could escape him. In return for this godly artifact, he had become a White Robed Priest, serving under the Shrine’s command.
Ji Mo didn’t think there was anything bad about it, and he had managed to escape unscathed from various disputes thanks to Wuyan’s detection capabilities. If it hadn’t been for Ye Mingjun hindering his state of mind, missing the sound of the Demon Prince’s movements, he probably would have retreated in time.
He had been careless, and it was easy to forfeit your life with just the slightest negligence in these turbulent times; he absolutely could not let himself be disturbed by meaningless emotions in the future.
Silently reminding himself as he walked through the dark passageway, Ji Mo no longer dared to lower his guard, constantly following the movements of the person behind him.
Wuyan’s perception was not influenced by light, so he hadn’t placed any lighting when building this secret passage, just so he would have the advantage of obstructing the enemy during an emergency evacuation. From his observation along the way, although Ye Mingjun’s cultivation had been sealed off, he did not make any movements to pause whilst walking in the dark, even evading all the pitfalls without needing any warnings. Looks like this protagonist really wasn’t easy to deal with, he absolutely couldn’t be complacent just because this person behaved uncannily.
No, it was because this person was uncanny that he had to be much more cautious. Only his life was not guaranteed if he fell into another’s hands, but getting caught by his trap meant his sexuality was not guaranteed, and as far as the results were concerned, the latter was undeniably much more tragic.
Just when Ji Mo had decisively lifted a certain Xianjun’s threat levels to the uppermost level, there was finally some activity coming from Ye Mingjun, who had been silently following him along the way, though the voice came from the picture scroll tied to his waist, “Issuing primary-stage capture mission: Xianjun, a prolonged cool down phase is not appropriate for bonding, please take the initiative to converse with the target for more than five minutes, whilst maintaining the attitude of an upright gentleman.”
Ye Mingjun’s temper was as indifferent and officious as written in the novel, but he had a system in charge of causing trouble with him. The moment he heard the mission’s announcement, Ji Mo was taken aback, an upright gentleman? What was with this gambit? He had only ever heard of those who would stop at nothing to take liberties with women, never had he heard of raising one’s ideological and ethical standards…
And yet, while he expressed his puzzlement towards such mystical logic, Ye Mingjun seemed rather trusting of this System, actually breaking the silence to ask blandly, “Are you scared of snakes?”
“I am afraid of anything that holds a threat to my life.”
Entertaining the idea that letting him break more of the seal would give way to more chances of survival, Ji Mo cooperated, starting the conversation nevertheless, but added inwardly, and damn gays like you who threaten my chastity.
“Then are you afraid of the dark?”
And he had hit a raw nerve, did he really seem like someone who was afraid of the dark?
Ji Mo had initially thought the missions given by the System were just too simple, but up till this person opened his mouth, he finally understood, to a person who could always turn a conversation awkward at any time, five minutes were enough for a challenge.
But he had always been someone who gave priority to reason, and while he was secretly unwilling to speak on this topic, he still answered dully, “It’s fine, I’m used to it.”
Just used to it, not because he wasn’t afraid.
Instantly grasping the hidden meaning in his words, Ye Mingjun stared at the hand Ji Mo had pulled on earlier. He didn’t exactly hate the feeling, and had heard that physical contact was a token of an intimate relationship between humans. While he didn’t quite understand, he proposed, “If you’re scared, you can hug me tight.”
I refuse, compared to the dark, you’re much more terrifying!
Although he had reminded himself to keep his cool many time, Ji Mo couldn’t help but grit his teeth when he heard this, but before he could think of the ways to diplomatically turn him down, the referee had already called it off,
“Xianjun has broken the rules, hugging is an interaction allowed only in the intermediate stages, as punishment, stare apologetically at your capture target until you are forgiven.”
Was this really a Romance Capture System? Why did it feel like some primary school kid’s Ideological and Moral Education System? Were the routines these days supposed to be this pure? Had he been too unconstrained, when he let his protagonist hug the female lead three chapters in?
Although he was the one being taken liberties with, Ji Mo couldn’t help but feel sorry for Ye Mingjun. And yet, this Xianjun seemed really inconsiderate of this, and did not think there was anything wrong with this verdict, just saying helplessly, “But I’ve never known regret in all my five-thousand years as an immortal.”
What sort of vile words was this guy saying with such an earnest look on his face?
“Then please switch it to a sincere one.”
Is there a need to make concessions on such an insignificant place! Switch to another punishment! Have some pride as a system and give him a good beating!
Exercising all his restraint as this human and system trampled all over normal logic, Ji Mo realized, before he could speak out, that this guy had actually started carrying out his punishment. In this secret passage of pin drop silence, a white-robed man was staring soundlessly behind his back, this horrific scene had clearly been set to punish him instead!
Unable to endure the chills on his back, he could only pretend as if he hadn’t heard the System, turning around to smile in good taste, “I know Xianjun was only joking, it doesn’t matter.”
“Xianjun, the punishment has ended, the five minute clock will resume now, please complete the mission with composure and self-restraint.”
“This is Xianjun’s first time in the Godly Continent, is there anything you would like to ask?”
He knew that letting this guy have his way would probably cause them to be stuck for an entire day without completing the mission, so as not to be faced with any more weird punishments, Ji Mo decisively opened his mouth to start a topic he could definitely talk about for five minutes, and inwardly comforted himself,
It was just five minutes, he had to persevere, he was a man of great importance who needed to report to the Shrine so they would intercept the enemy in time, he had no time to waste on a madman.
Sigh, god knows the amount of self-control he needed to keep up with this awkward, polite smile. This Xianjun’s conversation skills were in the negatives!
Ji Mo had yet to predict an accurate reaction out of Ye Mingjun ever since he had appeared, and there wasn’t an exception this time around. This guy absolutely disregarded his own plight of coming to another world, and faced with such a suitable topic for extracting information, only noticed Ji Mo’s hastening footsteps, asking with a slight curiosity, “You seem quite concerned about the situation outside?”
“That’s because our Shrine has always been devoted to upholding world peace.”
Answering expressionlessly, Ji Mo finally gave up on struggling. This must be what was meant by a conversation between immortals[8], how mystifying, how mystifying.
“In a book I once read, it said the common people strive for profit, war to strive, and die for war; only love will maintain order, and peace will reign over the lands.”
“Oh, if love could reform the Demonic Continent, I’m sure the common folk under the heavens would view you as their second parent.”
What a deeply moving, upright conversation, the High Priest would surely cry if he heard of this.
“I’ll recover my cultivation as long as you help me understand love, when the time comes I can even present the world to you.”
Didn’t that mean he still had to endure another 99 times of this stifling maneuver? What difference did that make from reading Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands 99 times? Very good, he chose to die.
A chill ran down Ji Mo’s spine as he imagined such a terrifying future, and immediately tried to make this person dispel his terrible ideas, “Surely you jest, Xianjun, I do not desire anything from this world other than living a secure life, nor do I like anything as luxurious as this.”
Unfortunately, Ye Mingjun would always reach an intriguing conclusion from his words, and at this moment spoke with slight astonishment, “So, you don’t want me to do anything for you, you’re just interested in me?”
When had he ever uttered such foolish words of being interested in this man?
Hold on, he had actually admitted it before…
Resignedly coming to the realization that he seemed to have really dug himself a pit, in a split second, Ji Mo’s teeth ached, and finally could not keep up the pretenses anymore, turning to say sincerely to him, “I’m a person who seeks nothing but profit, eight out of ten sentences I speak are lies, the remainder are half-truths, please regard me as a shameless and despicable swindler, thanks.”
Ji Mo regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth; he knew he had to remain on good terms with every usable person in such circumstances. It could have been very simple trying to win Ye Mingjun over, but for some reason, all his clever tricks seemed to fail the moment they were used on this guy. Just when he thought of how to remedy the situation, the white-clothed man became much happier as he said, smilingly, “This is my first time seeing someone say that about himself, I’ve never met such a duplicitous person. You’re really interesting.”
Gazing silently at his face, who looked not in the least affronted, Ji Mo abruptly realized where the problem lay. The attitude Ye Mingjun gave him was much too good-natured, and this perplexing goodwill made him feel as if he had returned to his previous world, as if he was still an ordinary boy on campus, no need to weigh the pros and cons, nor the need to constantly deliberate over his words and actions. He could express his opinions at will, believing no one in the world would harm him.
It was a scary misconception, and once you became accustomed to it, you would be killed off in this world.
“Mission complete, seal is currently 2% unlocked, congratulations to Xianjun, you have achieved a perfect start on the very first day!”
The System cut him from his thoughts, and spotting a faint light ahead, Ji Mo realized they had unwittingly covered the whole length of the secret passage, causing him to be a little more relieved. The past couldn’t be changed, and as long as he came out of it, he would clearly become aware of what the reality was – he would no longer trust any Celestial.
Taking a deep breath, Ji Mo’s expression regained its tranquility as they reached the opening, speaking as he always did, “Xianjun, the people of the Demonic Continent probably haven’t given up on their pursuit, please maintain your invisibility spell once we’re outside.”
There wasn’t a change in Ye Mingjun’s expression, but those eyes seemed to shine brighter as it came into contact with the light, and a slight glimpse of him dazzled Ji Mo slightly as he walked out of the darkness.
This Xianjun wouldn’t do anything improper as long as the System did not assign him any missions, and presently, he jumped out of the exit and determined there wasn’t any danger in the surroundings before reaching down at Ji Mo. Thinking for a bit, he still urged blandly, “You can come to my side if you’re afraid, I can keep you safe.”
As far as being an arbitrary and reckless protagonist went, Ye Mingjun was quite an even-tempered person.
As if he had forgotten his gloominess prior to this, the instant he was pulled along, such a thought subconsciously flashed through Ji Mo’s mind. While he did not understand why this person was so atypical, nor was he able to assess the amount of strength he possessed with 2% of his cultivation, he finally arrived to his first conclusion from his observation of Ye Mingjun—
Not a bad guy, but he really is peculiar.
Ji Mo: This guy must be a philosophical protagonist, I’ve got this.
Ye Mingjun: Oh, all of us cultivators are even-tempered people.
System: Xianjun is right.
The author Mr Wang, who requested his face be blurred out: No, don’t be fooled by his appearance, this one is a super high-maintenance big shot!
TL Notes
[1]
‘Send him blades’ – 寄刀片 is a common phrase (used jokingly) to express the fans’ dissatisfaction with a content’s plot or ending, and refers to sending blades to the creator’s house as a death threat.[2]
‘Eunuch novel’ – A discontinued novel.[3]
‘Jianghu legend’ – 江湖; literally ‘rivers and lakes’, commonly refers to a community of martial artists, a concept in Chinese culture that is open to many interpretations.[4]
‘His reputation whitewashed’ – A trick to endear a character to the audience by deliberately painting them in a bad light, then washing off their black reputation by revealing the reasons for their villainous acts.[5]
‘Next Door Neighbor Old Wang’ – Refers to a TV series, Big Head Son and Small Head Dad, in which the next-door neighbor, Mr Wang, has a big head similar to the son, suggesting the man has been cheated on by his wife. Alludes to a cuckold.[6]
‘Wuyan’ – The words 无厌, meaning insatiable, comes from the idiom 贪婪无厌 (having greed that knows no bounds).[7]
Li – Chinese measurement for miles. 1 Li = 500m[8]
‘Conversation between immortals’ – This phrase (神仙聊天) seems to be a variant of 神仙打架, 凡人遭殃, ‘a fight between immortals brings calamity upon the mortals’, which is used to describe someone uninvolved caught in the crossfire of two higher beings.
This novel is actually a spin off of another novel by the same author, called 主角每天吐血三升 (The Protagonist Spits Three Liters Of Blood Every Day, I think? I’m bad at translating names), in which the MC ends up transmigrating into ‘Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands’ as its protagonist after letting Ye Mingjun cut his queue in the underworld XD It was written before this particular novel, so there’ll be a few references to it in here. This can be totally read on its own, though.
Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.
Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).
Translated by: Yujuan
Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands was a mystical book among the male-orientated novels, and in the past, it had been a top-ranking feel-good novel with its virtually pretentious protagonist and a daily 30k word update schedule as if its author had no need for sleep. However, just when everyone believed this was the birth of yet another great god, it was reduced to a pitfall novel with the largest amount of bad reviews within just a week, that even the readers themselves assembled to investigate the author, swearing to team up so they could send him blades[1] in good time.
From then on, as long as there was a novel with a bad ending, the readers would compare it with Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, then gratifyingly realized that no matter an eunuch novel[2] or a crappy plot, it was better than having crap savagely shoved into your face in the middle of enjoying your cake, and so let off the quivering authors of BE novels, then returned to cursing a certain person’s immediate family in the novel’s review section.
This was the norm which continued for a year after the completion of Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands. The female lead hadn’t been collected, fine; the protagonist was mentally challenged, fine; even with the fact that the author had abruptly entered the palace to become an eunuch, once they abandoned their keyboards, everyone could still converse jovially. However, if you said a single word of praise about Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, my apologies, please get the hell out of my friend list.
Ji Mo had had a ten-year experience as a reader before becoming a writer, and naturally he had read this Jianghu[3] legend among all BE novels. From what he could analyze, the reason why it felt great reading Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands was because of Ye Mingjun’s indifferent attitude, which disregarded everything around him. Where there was a treasure the various major forces would do anything in their power to get their hands on, he would simply fish out something better; when the female lead wished to rule, wished to conquer the immortal world, he would just reply with an ‘Oh, you can have it then’, and went on to actually conquer the world and gift it to his harem, seemingly as if the world was just a toy to him.
All the princes and marquises of various countries, the countless immortals in the world, were simply just children asking for candy in his eyes. He would reward anyone who made him happy, raising a hand to discipline anyone unruly or caused trouble, quite a considerably high level of pretentiousness.
And yet, just when the plot reached its halfway point, entering the Godly Realm, a shocking twist was introduced into the novel’s story line. The protagonist’s harem had actually been plotting to use him, and everything he had been through was just a ploy devised by the others. These women had been deliberately confounding right and wrong, fabricating all sorts of lies and using him to gain power and status, persecuting the righteous, even hounding his current body’s biological mother to death. When all of this was discovered by him, his first wife, who had been the only one to have been true to him, had long since fully experienced his neglect after being defeated in the harem’s power struggles.
Immediately after that, a seemingly god-like conclusion emerged, and the protagonist’s harem started to turn on each other. Ye Mingjun, who had disposed of them, wished to reconcile with his first wife, but was disappointingly stabbed through the heart by her instead. The end.
In its conclusion, the white-robed immortal looked at the world he had conquered, and chose to behead himself with no attachments, his expression as indifferent as before, leaving only but a sigh, “The love and hate in this world, is nothing more than this.”
Yes, the feels-good novel abused its protagonist, its harem struggling for power, and the antagonist’s reputation whitewashed[4] after his miserable death, at last killing off the male and female leads, with not a single happy ending for any character with a surname in this story. In just a single week, this novel had plunged three thousand feet below, collapsing like the Lushan waterfalls.
The scariest part was that, when Ji Mo returned with earnest to flip through the book, he discovered all kinds of foreshadowing scattered throughout the beginning phase, which meant this ill-intended conclusion hadn’t gone off the rails, but something that was planned from the start. At that moment, even with his composure, he couldn’t stop himself from creating a sock puppet to join the teams in cursing the author.
Regardless of whether it fell in line with the novel stereotypes, or had been written out of literary pursuit, Ji Mo could not understand why there was a plot filled with such malice towards its protagonist. At last, he came to a conclusion, which was that either the novel’s author, Next Door Neighbor Old Wang[5], had been cuckolded by a person named Ye Mingjun, or he had been dumped by his girlfriend and was now venting his anger at society. In any case, there was most definitely something unusual with his mental state.
Of course, what he was concerned of at the moment wasn’t the reason for this godly BE novel’s birth, but why Ye Mingjun, who was already disillusioned with mortal affairs, had appeared in this world, and with a weird tool such as the Romance Capture System by his side?
As far as Ji Mo could recall, there wasn’t a constant to their story lines when the Celestials arrived, but as long as there was a protagonist whose story had been completed, their status would basically be set during their grand finale when they appeared in this world. Moreover, due to their bonus of completion, they would be far stronger than any protagonist whose work was in progress.
He was definitely sure a system hadn’t existed in Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, and with how Ye Mingjun had been so easily fooled by the harem that had thrown themselves at him, it seemed quite impossible that he would be interested in men. If he hadn’t fabricated a name to deceive him, that meant there was something different about this guy compared to the other Celestials.
Perhaps they would be able to uncover the reason for the Celestials’ arrival from this Ye Mingjun.
“Introductory mission has been completed, unsealing 1% of your power, would you like to be immediately issued a primary-stage capture mission?”
Just as Ji Mo was instinctively analyzing this person’s identity, the System’s high-grade customer service voice transferred over, and the Hook Snake, who had been a position ready to attack, abruptly slipped out as if it had lost its target, the man’s timely explanation ringing by his ear,
“I can only use a small invisibility spell with my current cultivation, it’ll go elsewhere once it loses sight of us.”
Not even able to defeat a Hook Snake, was this guy really that pretentious Ye Mingjun?
Looking at this person very doubtfully, Ji Mo realized that this Xianjun did not seem to think anything wrong with cloaking himself to evade a demonic beast, a far cry from the other domineering and lofty protagonists indeed. However, while there was no way of determining the other’s strength, he had no other choice right now, and quickly abandoned all his personal emotions, making the most suitable response at present,
“The Demon Lord only has one prince, and since he’s come to personally attack, it might not be as simple as occupying a small town before he stops, I reckon they’ll take on all the surrounding cities at once to seal off the Godly Continent’s southern region. Since you do not have the means of protecting yourself, sir, why don’t you come along with me? It’ll be much easier looking after each other’s backs.”
From what Ji Mo could analyze, Ye Mingjun had no means of obtaining information about this world other than himself, and he who wasn’t good at fighting needed to collaborate with a Celestial; he probably wouldn’t refuse benefiting from each other. In truth, Ye Mingjun did not refuse, but his response was completely different to his expectations. The guy merely shot a glance at the Hook Snake in the distance, as if he didn’t seem to think there was anything threatening in the road ahead, and said with a light smile, “Okay, you can count on me.”
Just where had he gotten that confidence of his from? Could the matter of his seal have been just a hoax? But, why would he do such a nonsensical thing?
Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands had a very mysterious plot, and as its protagonist, Ye Mingjun’s behavior absolutely couldn’t be judged with common sense. Ji Mo couldn’t tell his words between truth and lies for the time being, and could only uphold his principle of being cautious, nodding at him with a friendly attitude, “Happy to work with you.”
Ji Mo’s mask was called Wuyan[6], a godly artifact that the ruler of the Godly Continent, High Priest Su Ge, had personally refined for him, and as long as he had this on, nothing within a radius of a hundred li[7] could escape him. In return for this godly artifact, he had become a White Robed Priest, serving under the Shrine’s command.
Ji Mo didn’t think there was anything bad about it, and he had managed to escape unscathed from various disputes thanks to Wuyan’s detection capabilities. If it hadn’t been for Ye Mingjun hindering his state of mind, missing the sound of the Demon Prince’s movements, he probably would have retreated in time.
He had been careless, and it was easy to forfeit your life with just the slightest negligence in these turbulent times; he absolutely could not let himself be disturbed by meaningless emotions in the future.
Silently reminding himself as he walked through the dark passageway, Ji Mo no longer dared to lower his guard, constantly following the movements of the person behind him.
Wuyan’s perception was not influenced by light, so he hadn’t placed any lighting when building this secret passage, just so he would have the advantage of obstructing the enemy during an emergency evacuation. From his observation along the way, although Ye Mingjun’s cultivation had been sealed off, he did not make any movements to pause whilst walking in the dark, even evading all the pitfalls without needing any warnings. Looks like this protagonist really wasn’t easy to deal with, he absolutely couldn’t be complacent just because this person behaved uncannily.
No, it was because this person was uncanny that he had to be much more cautious. Only his life was not guaranteed if he fell into another’s hands, but getting caught by his trap meant his sexuality was not guaranteed, and as far as the results were concerned, the latter was undeniably much more tragic.
Just when Ji Mo had decisively lifted a certain Xianjun’s threat levels to the uppermost level, there was finally some activity coming from Ye Mingjun, who had been silently following him along the way, though the voice came from the picture scroll tied to his waist, “Issuing primary-stage capture mission: Xianjun, a prolonged cool down phase is not appropriate for bonding, please take the initiative to converse with the target for more than five minutes, whilst maintaining the attitude of an upright gentleman.”
Ye Mingjun’s temper was as indifferent and officious as written in the novel, but he had a system in charge of causing trouble with him. The moment he heard the mission’s announcement, Ji Mo was taken aback, an upright gentleman? What was with this gambit? He had only ever heard of those who would stop at nothing to take liberties with women, never had he heard of raising one’s ideological and ethical standards…
And yet, while he expressed his puzzlement towards such mystical logic, Ye Mingjun seemed rather trusting of this System, actually breaking the silence to ask blandly, “Are you scared of snakes?”
“I am afraid of anything that holds a threat to my life.”
Entertaining the idea that letting him break more of the seal would give way to more chances of survival, Ji Mo cooperated, starting the conversation nevertheless, but added inwardly, and damn gays like you who threaten my chastity.
“Then are you afraid of the dark?”
And he had hit a raw nerve, did he really seem like someone who was afraid of the dark?
Ji Mo had initially thought the missions given by the System were just too simple, but up till this person opened his mouth, he finally understood, to a person who could always turn a conversation awkward at any time, five minutes were enough for a challenge.
But he had always been someone who gave priority to reason, and while he was secretly unwilling to speak on this topic, he still answered dully, “It’s fine, I’m used to it.”
Just used to it, not because he wasn’t afraid.
Instantly grasping the hidden meaning in his words, Ye Mingjun stared at the hand Ji Mo had pulled on earlier. He didn’t exactly hate the feeling, and had heard that physical contact was a token of an intimate relationship between humans. While he didn’t quite understand, he proposed, “If you’re scared, you can hug me tight.”
I refuse, compared to the dark, you’re much more terrifying!
Although he had reminded himself to keep his cool many time, Ji Mo couldn’t help but grit his teeth when he heard this, but before he could think of the ways to diplomatically turn him down, the referee had already called it off,
“Xianjun has broken the rules, hugging is an interaction allowed only in the intermediate stages, as punishment, stare apologetically at your capture target until you are forgiven.”
Was this really a Romance Capture System? Why did it feel like some primary school kid’s Ideological and Moral Education System? Were the routines these days supposed to be this pure? Had he been too unconstrained, when he let his protagonist hug the female lead three chapters in?
Although he was the one being taken liberties with, Ji Mo couldn’t help but feel sorry for Ye Mingjun. And yet, this Xianjun seemed really inconsiderate of this, and did not think there was anything wrong with this verdict, just saying helplessly, “But I’ve never known regret in all my five-thousand years as an immortal.”
What sort of vile words was this guy saying with such an earnest look on his face?
“Then please switch it to a sincere one.”
Is there a need to make concessions on such an insignificant place! Switch to another punishment! Have some pride as a system and give him a good beating!
Exercising all his restraint as this human and system trampled all over normal logic, Ji Mo realized, before he could speak out, that this guy had actually started carrying out his punishment. In this secret passage of pin drop silence, a white-robed man was staring soundlessly behind his back, this horrific scene had clearly been set to punish him instead!
Unable to endure the chills on his back, he could only pretend as if he hadn’t heard the System, turning around to smile in good taste, “I know Xianjun was only joking, it doesn’t matter.”
“Xianjun, the punishment has ended, the five minute clock will resume now, please complete the mission with composure and self-restraint.”
“This is Xianjun’s first time in the Godly Continent, is there anything you would like to ask?”
He knew that letting this guy have his way would probably cause them to be stuck for an entire day without completing the mission, so as not to be faced with any more weird punishments, Ji Mo decisively opened his mouth to start a topic he could definitely talk about for five minutes, and inwardly comforted himself,
It was just five minutes, he had to persevere, he was a man of great importance who needed to report to the Shrine so they would intercept the enemy in time, he had no time to waste on a madman.
Sigh, god knows the amount of self-control he needed to keep up with this awkward, polite smile. This Xianjun’s conversation skills were in the negatives!
Ji Mo had yet to predict an accurate reaction out of Ye Mingjun ever since he had appeared, and there wasn’t an exception this time around. This guy absolutely disregarded his own plight of coming to another world, and faced with such a suitable topic for extracting information, only noticed Ji Mo’s hastening footsteps, asking with a slight curiosity, “You seem quite concerned about the situation outside?”
“That’s because our Shrine has always been devoted to upholding world peace.”
Answering expressionlessly, Ji Mo finally gave up on struggling. This must be what was meant by a conversation between immortals[8], how mystifying, how mystifying.
“In a book I once read, it said the common people strive for profit, war to strive, and die for war; only love will maintain order, and peace will reign over the lands.”
“Oh, if love could reform the Demonic Continent, I’m sure the common folk under the heavens would view you as their second parent.”
What a deeply moving, upright conversation, the High Priest would surely cry if he heard of this.
“I’ll recover my cultivation as long as you help me understand love, when the time comes I can even present the world to you.”
Didn’t that mean he still had to endure another 99 times of this stifling maneuver? What difference did that make from reading Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands 99 times? Very good, he chose to die.
A chill ran down Ji Mo’s spine as he imagined such a terrifying future, and immediately tried to make this person dispel his terrible ideas, “Surely you jest, Xianjun, I do not desire anything from this world other than living a secure life, nor do I like anything as luxurious as this.”
Unfortunately, Ye Mingjun would always reach an intriguing conclusion from his words, and at this moment spoke with slight astonishment, “So, you don’t want me to do anything for you, you’re just interested in me?”
When had he ever uttered such foolish words of being interested in this man?
Hold on, he had actually admitted it before…
Resignedly coming to the realization that he seemed to have really dug himself a pit, in a split second, Ji Mo’s teeth ached, and finally could not keep up the pretenses anymore, turning to say sincerely to him, “I’m a person who seeks nothing but profit, eight out of ten sentences I speak are lies, the remainder are half-truths, please regard me as a shameless and despicable swindler, thanks.”
Ji Mo regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth; he knew he had to remain on good terms with every usable person in such circumstances. It could have been very simple trying to win Ye Mingjun over, but for some reason, all his clever tricks seemed to fail the moment they were used on this guy. Just when he thought of how to remedy the situation, the white-clothed man became much happier as he said, smilingly, “This is my first time seeing someone say that about himself, I’ve never met such a duplicitous person. You’re really interesting.”
Gazing silently at his face, who looked not in the least affronted, Ji Mo abruptly realized where the problem lay. The attitude Ye Mingjun gave him was much too good-natured, and this perplexing goodwill made him feel as if he had returned to his previous world, as if he was still an ordinary boy on campus, no need to weigh the pros and cons, nor the need to constantly deliberate over his words and actions. He could express his opinions at will, believing no one in the world would harm him.
It was a scary misconception, and once you became accustomed to it, you would be killed off in this world.
“Mission complete, seal is currently 2% unlocked, congratulations to Xianjun, you have achieved a perfect start on the very first day!”
The System cut him from his thoughts, and spotting a faint light ahead, Ji Mo realized they had unwittingly covered the whole length of the secret passage, causing him to be a little more relieved. The past couldn’t be changed, and as long as he came out of it, he would clearly become aware of what the reality was – he would no longer trust any Celestial.
Taking a deep breath, Ji Mo’s expression regained its tranquility as they reached the opening, speaking as he always did, “Xianjun, the people of the Demonic Continent probably haven’t given up on their pursuit, please maintain your invisibility spell once we’re outside.”
There wasn’t a change in Ye Mingjun’s expression, but those eyes seemed to shine brighter as it came into contact with the light, and a slight glimpse of him dazzled Ji Mo slightly as he walked out of the darkness.
This Xianjun wouldn’t do anything improper as long as the System did not assign him any missions, and presently, he jumped out of the exit and determined there wasn’t any danger in the surroundings before reaching down at Ji Mo. Thinking for a bit, he still urged blandly, “You can come to my side if you’re afraid, I can keep you safe.”
As far as being an arbitrary and reckless protagonist went, Ye Mingjun was quite an even-tempered person.
As if he had forgotten his gloominess prior to this, the instant he was pulled along, such a thought subconsciously flashed through Ji Mo’s mind. While he did not understand why this person was so atypical, nor was he able to assess the amount of strength he possessed with 2% of his cultivation, he finally arrived to his first conclusion from his observation of Ye Mingjun—
Not a bad guy, but he really is peculiar.
Ji Mo: This guy must be a philosophical protagonist, I’ve got this.
Ye Mingjun: Oh, all of us cultivators are even-tempered people.
System: Xianjun is right.
The author Mr Wang, who requested his face be blurred out: No, don’t be fooled by his appearance, this one is a super high-maintenance big shot!
TL Notes
[1]
‘Send him blades’ – 寄刀片 is a common phrase (used jokingly) to express the fans’ dissatisfaction with a content’s plot or ending, and refers to sending blades to the creator’s house as a death threat.[2]
‘Eunuch novel’ – A discontinued novel.[3]
‘Jianghu legend’ – 江湖; literally ‘rivers and lakes’, commonly refers to a community of martial artists, a concept in Chinese culture that is open to many interpretations.[4]
‘His reputation whitewashed’ – A trick to endear a character to the audience by deliberately painting them in a bad light, then washing off their black reputation by revealing the reasons for their villainous acts.[5]
‘Next Door Neighbor Old Wang’ – Refers to a TV series, Big Head Son and Small Head Dad, in which the next-door neighbor, Mr Wang, has a big head similar to the son, suggesting the man has been cheated on by his wife. Alludes to a cuckold.[6]
‘Wuyan’ – The words 无厌, meaning insatiable, comes from the idiom 贪婪无厌 (having greed that knows no bounds).[7]
Li – Chinese measurement for miles. 1 Li = 500m[8]
‘Conversation between immortals’ – This phrase (神仙聊天) seems to be a variant of 神仙打架, 凡人遭殃, ‘a fight between immortals brings calamity upon the mortals’, which is used to describe someone uninvolved caught in the crossfire of two higher beings.