Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.
Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).
Translated by: Yujuan
As the Demon Prince, Ye Po had encountered many Celestials in his life, but in his mind, only his own Royal Father could soundlessly defeat twenty Hook Snakes at once. The Morning Star Priest had always been someone cautious and was considerably wary of those around him, and in the past, various Celestials had tried and failed to capture him. For Ji Mo to crash into their encirclement without the need to worry, there had to be something absolutely extraordinary about this Celestial, possibly a powerhouse on the same level as his father. Yes, this person wasn’t faking his composure, he truly did not view them as a threat, there was only absolute confidence belonging to an elite powerhouse to be found in his eyes.
As the thought flashed through his mind, there was some intent to retreat in Ye Po’s eyes. He was Ye Junhou’s only son, and knew that his Royal Father would not punish him if he failed his mission, but he much rather be praised by his Royal Father. For a moment, he hesitated on whether to try releasing another ancient beast.
And yet, just as he hesitated, Ye Mingjun had already bypassed the heavy protection of his guards, drifting down to Ye Po’s side. None of the guards knew what sort of technique he had used, and only felt a white silhouette flitting past their eyes before this person appeared behind the prince. He then lifted his hand, and, under the greatly alarmed gazes of everyone, placed his white jade-like palm on Ye Po’s head, “Good boy, that’s enough.”
He… He was patting the Demon Prince’s head? This was a little fiend who had entered the arena at the mere age seven-years-old to slaughter they were talking about, he was actually taking liberties with him as if he had just encountered a kitten or a puppy, just who was this godly man?
The moment he did that, the whole audience seemed to draw in a breath, and even Ji Mo, who had originally been concerned of Ye Mingjun summoning Ye Junhou because he went too hard on them, was struck speechless.
It wasn’t strange that Ye Mingjun was unafraid of Ye Po. After all, in the early stages of the pretentious face-slapping novel[1] such as Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, when the plotline had yet to collapse, this guy had had a much higher popularity than Ye Junhou. However, what he was more worried about was the possibility of this guy gaining an interest in Ye Po, because if Ye Mingjun, with his strange tastes, could like even him, who was to say Ye Po wasn’t an adorable little lion in his eyes?
However, this happened to be an ineffective chain reaction – after finally realizing what had just occurred, Ye Po immediately flew into a rage, summoning an ancient beast without a care for his opponent’s immeasurable skills, “You actually touched my head! Babel Gibbon, smash him to pieces!”
The Babel Gibbon was one of the ten strongest demonic beasts in this world, however, ever since the Monster King’s advent, these Ten Great Demonic Beasts were defeated in battle, seized by the Monster King to be finally turned into his pets. This Babel Gibbon had been gifted to the Demon Lord by the Monster King three years ago, at last changing hands from the Demon Lord to his own son Ye Po as a plaything.
While this demonic beast was comparable to a pet in the hands of a powerful Celestial, its strength was truly doughty, and as they were only inferior to the rulers of the five continents, Ye Po had truly drawn his life-saving trick this time around.
However, all of Ye Mingjun’s doings never fit the expectations of others, and not even a writer like Ji Mo was able to guess which step he’d take next. Ye Po bit his finger to unleash his blood contract, yet, before he could press his Blood Spirit Stone to summon the Babel Gibbon for battle, the Blood Spirit Stone had disappeared into thin air. He couldn’t help but freeze on the spot, asking blankly, “Where’s my Babel Gibbon?”
His answer lay in a certain Xianjun, who was scrutinizing the Blood Spirit Stone against the sunlight, “You humans like locking up other animals, but hate being restrained. That’s no good at all, I’m confiscating and setting this free.”
The Babel Gibbon, one of the Ten Great Demonic Beasts in the world, confiscated just like that?
Looking at him with widened eyes, never had Ye Po ever seen anyone able to steal an object from an Interspatial Bag before, nor had he noticed when he had done so. Such a powerful individual was standing right behind him at this very moment, and he could snap off his neck with a single lift of his hand.
Finally realizing what a dangerous plight he was in, cold sweat momentarily slid down the Demon Prince’s back, and could only put on a tough facade as he shouted out, “If you hurt me, the Demonic Continent won’t let you get away with this!”
Ji Mo knew the moment he uttered those words that the Demon Prince had truly become afraid. He didn’t know what sort of method Ye Mingjun had used to retrieve the Blood Spirit Stone from the Interspatial Bag, but he knew very well that Ye Po’s golden finger[2] was his ability to control spirits using his blood contract, and the instance this Blood Spirit Stone was gone, Ye Po surely wouldn’t dare to fight a powerful Celestial to the death. This was exactly his most desired outcome.
Knowing that Ye Mingjun definitely wouldn’t persuade him to retreat on his own, he stood out to speak in a tranquil voice, “Your Highness, you have caused enough trouble in the Godly Continent, please return.”
Seeing the slight anger in Ye Po’s expression, he tacked on indifferently, “This is a war between the Demon Lord and the High Priest. You must know, the one we fear is your father, not you.”
His words weren’t actually untrue. He had cards in his hands that were gifted to him by the High Priest, enough to tackle Ye Po, but the sole reason Ji Mo had chosen to yield was that he was unwilling to anger Ye Junhou. He distinctly knew of how powerless he was in the face of the Celestials, and if it was possible, he wouldn’t poke his nose in the matters of others. The reason why he had chosen to interfere was only that he had another option in the form of Ye Mingjun. There was no one in the same camp as him in this world, and to sacrifice himself to save the natives of this world, Ji Mo would no longer make such an idiotic move.
Ye Po felt indignance at Ji Mo’s words, but he was really fearful of Ye Mingjun, and knew that now wasn’t the time to be putting up a brave front – his only option was to fall back. Damn it, what exactly had this Morning Star Priest used to make such a powerful Celestial listen to his every word within a short few days? Royal Father was right, this person really wasn’t a simple character.
Glancing reluctantly at Ji Mo, he decisively gave the order to retreat, “The Morning Star Priest is impressive as the rumors say, just you wait, we’ll leave!”
The one acting pretentious was Ye Mingjun, yet all the aggro had run over to his side. Not even able to pinpoint his target of attack, what sort of idiotic son had Ye Junhou given birth to?
Oh no, the moment this brat ran back to snitch on him, that protective and vengeful protagonist Ye Junhou would surely come to pick on him, he might as well crash out in the High Priest’s room for the rest of the year.
Helplessly eye-rolling on the inside, Ji Mo still kept a serene front, even waving at him with a light smile, “Such kindness from Your Highness, I will tell the High Priest to prepare tea for the Demon Lord’s arrival.”
The Demon Army had finally withdrawn from Linguang City, but the other occupied cities would no longer be spat back out. The Shrine would send someone to negotiate with them in the future. Ji Mo didn’t know if the High Priest would declare war on the Demonic Continent, however, this had absolutely nothing to do with him. Was there a protagonist who wasn’t God’s favored one, was there anyone willing to be vanquished by another? As long as the Celestials persisted to exist, the world would not change, and all he could do was simply try to survive.
Trying his best to to stay alive because he feared the pain of death, there really was no meaning to such a life.
Looking on as the jubilant or weeping citizens who had survived disassembled, Ji Mo released the captured divine attendants, instructing them to call for a vessel as soon as possible after cleaning up the corpses in the city. Just when he was about to confer with Ye Mingjun their itinerary in the days to come, Qing Ye threw himself into his arms, tears he had been suppressing finally streaming down his face, “Mr Ji, I knew you would come to save us!”
The boy had eyes that were incredibly clean, and although he had once harbored suspicions towards humanity, in the end, Ji Mo’s appearance had renewed the staunchness in his own beliefs. Such a naive appearance of wanting to save the world in an overestimation of his abilities reminded Ji Mo of himself, when he had first arrived in this world. However, he hadn’t had such good fortune; no one had come to save him.
Perhaps it was this profound similarity that had given rise to his desire to rescue him, but this was where it ended – he would no longer forge deep bonds with anyone else.
Gently pushing the boy away, he did not make any move to comfort him, merely replying apathetically, “Everyone here has disobeyed orders in taking presumptuous action, all of you will accept punishment once we return to the Shrine.”
Ji Mo had always treated the others as such, and Qing Ye had gotten used to it, replying with a smile, “Yes, sir! Mr Ji, I definitely won’t be captured next time!”
Which means that even if there is a next time, you’ll still choose to stay behind to guard the city? Kids these days really don’t learn their lessons…
Dazzled by the smile he gave as he left, Ji Mo’s feelings were a little complicated, yet in the next moment, his attention was divided by the sensation of someone pulling on his hair. He turned his head to look at a certain immortal, who couldn’t help but be a little mischievous after being ignored for so long, “What are you doing with your hand, might I ask?”
“I much prefer your texture, it’s very cute how you smile reluctantly at me even though you want to hide far away.”
Although his bratty act of tugging on someone’s hair had been discovered, Ye Mingjun’s tone still had his customary self-assuredness, and thought internally, what a pity it was that the system banned him from having physical contact with his capture target. He couldn’t even touch his skin, or he would really like to make a careful study of which part he needed to touch in order to make this little guy lower his guard.
“Oh, then I really am honored.”
Expressionlessly ignoring this person’s mistaken evaluation of the word cute, Ji Mo had more or less gotten used to Ye Mingjun’s odd behaviour, but when he looked at his expression, there was still some faint unsettledness in his heart,
Was it just him, or had this guy’s look gotten much gayer than before? It must be just him, he was no different to a cat or a dog in the immortal’s eyes, a person couldn’t possibly want to have sex with a dog, right?
While he had raised his vigilance a couple levels higher, Ji Mo was also aware of the fact that understanding his true strength was the most important matter at hand. He had just about gotten a clear picture of Ye Mingjun’s temper, and did not beat about the bush, asking conversationally, “Xianjun, may I know which spell you used to make the Hook Snakes yield?”
“My original form has the ability to subdue all nefarious beings in the world.”
As he had anticipated, Ye Mingjun freely answered with the truth, and as if he had recalled something after saying this, smiled at him once again, “In the past, all the immortals wanted to obtain me. If you like me a little more, I’ll let you touch me once.”
From the very beginning, he had found Ye Mingjun’s speech and actions to be very odd. So he hadn’t actually cultivated into an immortal from a human, it was no wonder his conduct was distinctive from the others. It sounded like his original form was some sort of priceless treasure, however, with regard to the strange reward of touching something just once, Ji Mo expressed his absolute refusal, and that he would much rather dump this precious object into the river.
Completely disregarding this weird proposal, Ji Mo asked another question, “How did you gain the Blood Spirit Stone, then?”
An Interspatial Storage was pretty important to any Celestial, as such a technique of being able to soundlessly retrieve anything from an Interspatial Bag posed a great threat to them. Even Ji Mo felt considerably harrowed by them, completely unable to understand the principle behind it. And yet, Ye Mingjun’s answer immediately made him realize what was meant by his imagination being restricted by his own species.
“I didn’t like being cooped up in the Immortal Treasury when I had yet to cultivate into human form, so I’d run out by breaking through space each time I grew bored, then stay a few days in the mustard seed bags of the immortals I encountered that I liked. Not even the Immortal Emperor’s Diorama of Civilization[3] could shut me in, I’m quite used to it.”
Oh, so there was the possibility of a treasure growing its own legs and running out on its own, as expected, this guy really had naturally thick skin.
Silently looking at the faintly smiling Xianjun, Ji Mo had yet to manage probing out his true abilities, but this did not obstruct him from becoming deeply aware of just how high-maintenance this guy was, and felt a slight ache in his stomach when he recalled he still had to bring him back to the Shrine.
But his current mission was to bring the Celestial back to the Shrine, and at present, could only force a fake smile, preserving their false friendly relationship[4] to keep the food on his table, and praised coolly, “Xianjun is unswervingly persistent, this one admires him greatly.”
Ye Mingjun: I’m very expensive, don’t you want to touch me?
Ji Mo: Personally, I’m quite poor, and I’ve always kept a respectful distance from anything too valuable.
Ye Mingjun: Then I’ll pay krypton gold[5] to touch you.
Ye Po: You’re actually using a honey trap to abduct a Challenger, you piece of trash!
Ye Mingjun: Smile-pat the opposing side’s dog head.[6]
Ye Po: Damn it, I’ll get my dad to hack you guys to death!
Ji Mo *detached*: Allow me to cordially greet your immediate relatives.[7]
TL Notes
[1]
‘Face-slapping’ – A popular slang in which a character’s words are contradicted by the truth; a metaphorical ‘slap in the face’.[2]
‘Golden finger’ – A cheat code given to protagonists.[3]
‘Diorama of Civilization’ – Also known as the Shan He She Ji Tu (山河社稷圖) this is a powerful artifact owned by the goddess Nüwa which contains an entire miniature world, from a 16th-century Chinese novel called the Investiture of the Gods.[4]
‘Friendly relationship’ – the word used here, 基友, is also another word for ‘gay partner’.[5]
‘I’ll pay krypton gold to touch you’ – He originally says ‘我氪金摸你’, which is read, when broken up, as ‘I (我) krypton gold/pay/charge (氪金) touch you (摸你)’. 氪金 (lit. krypton gold) is what spending money on in-game purchases is called. (There really isn’t anything perverted by it, Ye Mingjun is just acting like how a gamer would cheat in a game by buying their way through it…)[6]
‘Smile-pat the opposing side’s head’ – 笑摸對面狗頭, which derives from 笑摸楼下狗头, switching out ‘lower floor’ with ‘opposing side’. Lower floor/upper floor is how users of a forum call each other in a thread (upper floor posts first, lower floor posts after). The phrase is used when a person snatches the first comment to the thread and replies provocatively with ‘笑摸楼下狗头’.[7]
‘Greet your immediate relatives’ – I’m not entirely sure about this, but considering plenty of Chinese curse words have to do with cursing someone’s immediate family (your mother/your sister), Ji Mo is most likely cursing them in the politest way possible.
Originally posted on RBKTR Translations.
Author: The One Who Tells Stories Under the Bridge (天桥底下说书的).
Translated by: Yujuan
As the Demon Prince, Ye Po had encountered many Celestials in his life, but in his mind, only his own Royal Father could soundlessly defeat twenty Hook Snakes at once. The Morning Star Priest had always been someone cautious and was considerably wary of those around him, and in the past, various Celestials had tried and failed to capture him. For Ji Mo to crash into their encirclement without the need to worry, there had to be something absolutely extraordinary about this Celestial, possibly a powerhouse on the same level as his father. Yes, this person wasn’t faking his composure, he truly did not view them as a threat, there was only absolute confidence belonging to an elite powerhouse to be found in his eyes.
As the thought flashed through his mind, there was some intent to retreat in Ye Po’s eyes. He was Ye Junhou’s only son, and knew that his Royal Father would not punish him if he failed his mission, but he much rather be praised by his Royal Father. For a moment, he hesitated on whether to try releasing another ancient beast.
And yet, just as he hesitated, Ye Mingjun had already bypassed the heavy protection of his guards, drifting down to Ye Po’s side. None of the guards knew what sort of technique he had used, and only felt a white silhouette flitting past their eyes before this person appeared behind the prince. He then lifted his hand, and, under the greatly alarmed gazes of everyone, placed his white jade-like palm on Ye Po’s head, “Good boy, that’s enough.”
He… He was patting the Demon Prince’s head? This was a little fiend who had entered the arena at the mere age seven-years-old to slaughter they were talking about, he was actually taking liberties with him as if he had just encountered a kitten or a puppy, just who was this godly man?
The moment he did that, the whole audience seemed to draw in a breath, and even Ji Mo, who had originally been concerned of Ye Mingjun summoning Ye Junhou because he went too hard on them, was struck speechless.
It wasn’t strange that Ye Mingjun was unafraid of Ye Po. After all, in the early stages of the pretentious face-slapping novel[1] such as Monarch’s Descent Into The Wastelands, when the plotline had yet to collapse, this guy had had a much higher popularity than Ye Junhou. However, what he was more worried about was the possibility of this guy gaining an interest in Ye Po, because if Ye Mingjun, with his strange tastes, could like even him, who was to say Ye Po wasn’t an adorable little lion in his eyes?
However, this happened to be an ineffective chain reaction – after finally realizing what had just occurred, Ye Po immediately flew into a rage, summoning an ancient beast without a care for his opponent’s immeasurable skills, “You actually touched my head! Babel Gibbon, smash him to pieces!”
The Babel Gibbon was one of the ten strongest demonic beasts in this world, however, ever since the Monster King’s advent, these Ten Great Demonic Beasts were defeated in battle, seized by the Monster King to be finally turned into his pets. This Babel Gibbon had been gifted to the Demon Lord by the Monster King three years ago, at last changing hands from the Demon Lord to his own son Ye Po as a plaything.
While this demonic beast was comparable to a pet in the hands of a powerful Celestial, its strength was truly doughty, and as they were only inferior to the rulers of the five continents, Ye Po had truly drawn his life-saving trick this time around.
However, all of Ye Mingjun’s doings never fit the expectations of others, and not even a writer like Ji Mo was able to guess which step he’d take next. Ye Po bit his finger to unleash his blood contract, yet, before he could press his Blood Spirit Stone to summon the Babel Gibbon for battle, the Blood Spirit Stone had disappeared into thin air. He couldn’t help but freeze on the spot, asking blankly, “Where’s my Babel Gibbon?”
His answer lay in a certain Xianjun, who was scrutinizing the Blood Spirit Stone against the sunlight, “You humans like locking up other animals, but hate being restrained. That’s no good at all, I’m confiscating and setting this free.”
The Babel Gibbon, one of the Ten Great Demonic Beasts in the world, confiscated just like that?
Looking at him with widened eyes, never had Ye Po ever seen anyone able to steal an object from an Interspatial Bag before, nor had he noticed when he had done so. Such a powerful individual was standing right behind him at this very moment, and he could snap off his neck with a single lift of his hand.
Finally realizing what a dangerous plight he was in, cold sweat momentarily slid down the Demon Prince’s back, and could only put on a tough facade as he shouted out, “If you hurt me, the Demonic Continent won’t let you get away with this!”
Ji Mo knew the moment he uttered those words that the Demon Prince had truly become afraid. He didn’t know what sort of method Ye Mingjun had used to retrieve the Blood Spirit Stone from the Interspatial Bag, but he knew very well that Ye Po’s golden finger[2] was his ability to control spirits using his blood contract, and the instance this Blood Spirit Stone was gone, Ye Po surely wouldn’t dare to fight a powerful Celestial to the death. This was exactly his most desired outcome.
Knowing that Ye Mingjun definitely wouldn’t persuade him to retreat on his own, he stood out to speak in a tranquil voice, “Your Highness, you have caused enough trouble in the Godly Continent, please return.”
Seeing the slight anger in Ye Po’s expression, he tacked on indifferently, “This is a war between the Demon Lord and the High Priest. You must know, the one we fear is your father, not you.”
His words weren’t actually untrue. He had cards in his hands that were gifted to him by the High Priest, enough to tackle Ye Po, but the sole reason Ji Mo had chosen to yield was that he was unwilling to anger Ye Junhou. He distinctly knew of how powerless he was in the face of the Celestials, and if it was possible, he wouldn’t poke his nose in the matters of others. The reason why he had chosen to interfere was only that he had another option in the form of Ye Mingjun. There was no one in the same camp as him in this world, and to sacrifice himself to save the natives of this world, Ji Mo would no longer make such an idiotic move.
Ye Po felt indignance at Ji Mo’s words, but he was really fearful of Ye Mingjun, and knew that now wasn’t the time to be putting up a brave front – his only option was to fall back. Damn it, what exactly had this Morning Star Priest used to make such a powerful Celestial listen to his every word within a short few days? Royal Father was right, this person really wasn’t a simple character.
Glancing reluctantly at Ji Mo, he decisively gave the order to retreat, “The Morning Star Priest is impressive as the rumors say, just you wait, we’ll leave!”
The one acting pretentious was Ye Mingjun, yet all the aggro had run over to his side. Not even able to pinpoint his target of attack, what sort of idiotic son had Ye Junhou given birth to?
Oh no, the moment this brat ran back to snitch on him, that protective and vengeful protagonist Ye Junhou would surely come to pick on him, he might as well crash out in the High Priest’s room for the rest of the year.
Helplessly eye-rolling on the inside, Ji Mo still kept a serene front, even waving at him with a light smile, “Such kindness from Your Highness, I will tell the High Priest to prepare tea for the Demon Lord’s arrival.”
The Demon Army had finally withdrawn from Linguang City, but the other occupied cities would no longer be spat back out. The Shrine would send someone to negotiate with them in the future. Ji Mo didn’t know if the High Priest would declare war on the Demonic Continent, however, this had absolutely nothing to do with him. Was there a protagonist who wasn’t God’s favored one, was there anyone willing to be vanquished by another? As long as the Celestials persisted to exist, the world would not change, and all he could do was simply try to survive.
Trying his best to to stay alive because he feared the pain of death, there really was no meaning to such a life.
Looking on as the jubilant or weeping citizens who had survived disassembled, Ji Mo released the captured divine attendants, instructing them to call for a vessel as soon as possible after cleaning up the corpses in the city. Just when he was about to confer with Ye Mingjun their itinerary in the days to come, Qing Ye threw himself into his arms, tears he had been suppressing finally streaming down his face, “Mr Ji, I knew you would come to save us!”
The boy had eyes that were incredibly clean, and although he had once harbored suspicions towards humanity, in the end, Ji Mo’s appearance had renewed the staunchness in his own beliefs. Such a naive appearance of wanting to save the world in an overestimation of his abilities reminded Ji Mo of himself, when he had first arrived in this world. However, he hadn’t had such good fortune; no one had come to save him.
Perhaps it was this profound similarity that had given rise to his desire to rescue him, but this was where it ended – he would no longer forge deep bonds with anyone else.
Gently pushing the boy away, he did not make any move to comfort him, merely replying apathetically, “Everyone here has disobeyed orders in taking presumptuous action, all of you will accept punishment once we return to the Shrine.”
Ji Mo had always treated the others as such, and Qing Ye had gotten used to it, replying with a smile, “Yes, sir! Mr Ji, I definitely won’t be captured next time!”
Which means that even if there is a next time, you’ll still choose to stay behind to guard the city? Kids these days really don’t learn their lessons…
Dazzled by the smile he gave as he left, Ji Mo’s feelings were a little complicated, yet in the next moment, his attention was divided by the sensation of someone pulling on his hair. He turned his head to look at a certain immortal, who couldn’t help but be a little mischievous after being ignored for so long, “What are you doing with your hand, might I ask?”
“I much prefer your texture, it’s very cute how you smile reluctantly at me even though you want to hide far away.”
Although his bratty act of tugging on someone’s hair had been discovered, Ye Mingjun’s tone still had his customary self-assuredness, and thought internally, what a pity it was that the system banned him from having physical contact with his capture target. He couldn’t even touch his skin, or he would really like to make a careful study of which part he needed to touch in order to make this little guy lower his guard.
“Oh, then I really am honored.”
Expressionlessly ignoring this person’s mistaken evaluation of the word cute, Ji Mo had more or less gotten used to Ye Mingjun’s odd behaviour, but when he looked at his expression, there was still some faint unsettledness in his heart,
Was it just him, or had this guy’s look gotten much gayer than before? It must be just him, he was no different to a cat or a dog in the immortal’s eyes, a person couldn’t possibly want to have sex with a dog, right?
While he had raised his vigilance a couple levels higher, Ji Mo was also aware of the fact that understanding his true strength was the most important matter at hand. He had just about gotten a clear picture of Ye Mingjun’s temper, and did not beat about the bush, asking conversationally, “Xianjun, may I know which spell you used to make the Hook Snakes yield?”
“My original form has the ability to subdue all nefarious beings in the world.”
As he had anticipated, Ye Mingjun freely answered with the truth, and as if he had recalled something after saying this, smiled at him once again, “In the past, all the immortals wanted to obtain me. If you like me a little more, I’ll let you touch me once.”
From the very beginning, he had found Ye Mingjun’s speech and actions to be very odd. So he hadn’t actually cultivated into an immortal from a human, it was no wonder his conduct was distinctive from the others. It sounded like his original form was some sort of priceless treasure, however, with regard to the strange reward of touching something just once, Ji Mo expressed his absolute refusal, and that he would much rather dump this precious object into the river.
Completely disregarding this weird proposal, Ji Mo asked another question, “How did you gain the Blood Spirit Stone, then?”
An Interspatial Storage was pretty important to any Celestial, as such a technique of being able to soundlessly retrieve anything from an Interspatial Bag posed a great threat to them. Even Ji Mo felt considerably harrowed by them, completely unable to understand the principle behind it. And yet, Ye Mingjun’s answer immediately made him realize what was meant by his imagination being restricted by his own species.
“I didn’t like being cooped up in the Immortal Treasury when I had yet to cultivate into human form, so I’d run out by breaking through space each time I grew bored, then stay a few days in the mustard seed bags of the immortals I encountered that I liked. Not even the Immortal Emperor’s Diorama of Civilization[3] could shut me in, I’m quite used to it.”
Oh, so there was the possibility of a treasure growing its own legs and running out on its own, as expected, this guy really had naturally thick skin.
Silently looking at the faintly smiling Xianjun, Ji Mo had yet to manage probing out his true abilities, but this did not obstruct him from becoming deeply aware of just how high-maintenance this guy was, and felt a slight ache in his stomach when he recalled he still had to bring him back to the Shrine.
But his current mission was to bring the Celestial back to the Shrine, and at present, could only force a fake smile, preserving their false friendly relationship[4] to keep the food on his table, and praised coolly, “Xianjun is unswervingly persistent, this one admires him greatly.”
Ye Mingjun: I’m very expensive, don’t you want to touch me?
Ji Mo: Personally, I’m quite poor, and I’ve always kept a respectful distance from anything too valuable.
Ye Mingjun: Then I’ll pay krypton gold[5] to touch you.
Ye Po: You’re actually using a honey trap to abduct a Challenger, you piece of trash!
Ye Mingjun: Smile-pat the opposing side’s dog head.[6]
Ye Po: Damn it, I’ll get my dad to hack you guys to death!
Ji Mo *detached*: Allow me to cordially greet your immediate relatives.[7]
TL Notes
[1]
‘Face-slapping’ – A popular slang in which a character’s words are contradicted by the truth; a metaphorical ‘slap in the face’.[2]
‘Golden finger’ – A cheat code given to protagonists.[3]
‘Diorama of Civilization’ – Also known as the Shan He She Ji Tu (山河社稷圖) this is a powerful artifact owned by the goddess Nüwa which contains an entire miniature world, from a 16th-century Chinese novel called the Investiture of the Gods.[4]
‘Friendly relationship’ – the word used here, 基友, is also another word for ‘gay partner’.[5]
‘I’ll pay krypton gold to touch you’ – He originally says ‘我氪金摸你’, which is read, when broken up, as ‘I (我) krypton gold/pay/charge (氪金) touch you (摸你)’. 氪金 (lit. krypton gold) is what spending money on in-game purchases is called. (There really isn’t anything perverted by it, Ye Mingjun is just acting like how a gamer would cheat in a game by buying their way through it…)[6]
‘Smile-pat the opposing side’s head’ – 笑摸對面狗頭, which derives from 笑摸楼下狗头, switching out ‘lower floor’ with ‘opposing side’. Lower floor/upper floor is how users of a forum call each other in a thread (upper floor posts first, lower floor posts after). The phrase is used when a person snatches the first comment to the thread and replies provocatively with ‘笑摸楼下狗头’.[7]
‘Greet your immediate relatives’ – I’m not entirely sure about this, but considering plenty of Chinese curse words have to do with cursing someone’s immediate family (your mother/your sister), Ji Mo is most likely cursing them in the politest way possible.