“I know.” With a bit of a lopsided grin, I hefted one of the new plasma rifles the boys down in the lab had provided. “Modified Wrapper tech, they say. Shame we couldn’t get enough in time for the rest of the men, but I’ll take whatever we can get. I just hope they don’t end up blowing up in our faces.”
So saying, I tossed one of the rifles to the Sergeant and, while she fumbled to catch the weapon, I quickly snatched up another for myself. “Come on. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”
The Sergeant stared at the advanced technology in her arms for a moment before giving it a curious sniff, but then she shrugged. “Shall I… signal the charge? Sir?”
“On my mark…” I murmured, scanning the skies.
On cue, a squadron of F-22s screamed over our heads, peeling off just after unleashing a payload of Storm Shadows straight into the landed pyramids. I waited until the shockwave had passed over us before giving a definitive nod to my Sergeant.
“Charge!” she bellowed, loud enough to be heard even over the explosion.
As one, we broke cover, racing for the entrance. The rest of the troops soon followed suit and, like an amorphous blob, we began racing for the entrance stairs. The battle had stripped the once pristine garden of its once beautiful splendor, and the lawn was now little more than a smoldering pile of ashes and craters. Not that any of us had much of an eye for things like that though, too intent were we on our goal.
Almost as soon as we sprang into action, hovering pyramids swooped in from out of nowhere and began dropping payloads in front of us, barring our path. They looked like little more than gigantic bundles of wadded up toilet paper—all dyed a deep fuchsia—but when they landed, mummies started pouring out of them. All of them were huge, ridiculously over-muscled freaks, yelling unintelligible battle-cries and moaning in undead fury. And hot pink.
The men immediately began firing at them, but they seemed to regard small arms fire as little more than a minor annoyance. My soldiers might as well have been attempting to shoot their names into living boulders designed by Mattel for all the good they were doing. Like raging bulls, the mummies began tearing into the front lines, sending men flying and ripping bodies in half.
I wasted no time before leveling my new blaster at one the lumbering behemoths. With a satisfying thwumb, the rifle unleashed a bar of blue light straight into its chest, throwing it off its feet and setting it ablaze. A moment after it landed, its chest cavity burst, sending flaming confetti into the air like a gigantic party-popper.
“Hoo! That packs a wallop!” Mia shouted excitedly before aiming her own at another of the beasts. However, for some reason, she had elected to hold the weapon like it was some sort of magical staff. And upside down.
I was about to correct her, but then she shouted… something. Against all odds, another of the bolts fired out of the butt of the gun, and a second mummy was hurled flaming into the air.
“Huh… must have an alternate fire mode.” Doubtlessly, I had missed that during the brief.
Our immediate path clear, we resumed our charge, only occasionally taking a moment to reintroduce the concept of death to our enemies. The lawn seemed to stretch forever. On and on we ran. More burned and blackened grass. More undead horrors.
Tentacled jackals burst forth from the bundles of pink linen, toilet paper tastefully tied about their throats like ribbons as they ravaged men in their slavering jaws. Severed hands grasped at our feet, still somehow living despite our best efforts. And all the while, the pyramids overhead carved into my troops with their own pink light. Earth and bodies flew everywhere.
Mia and I ducked and weaved amongst the twisted metal stacked up on all sides, jutting out of the ground like giant tacks for some unseen game of marbles set in the middle of the Barbie aisle between the uncaring children of giants. We fired into the opposition without care or even bothering to aim. There was only run and shoot. Run and shoot. On. And on. And on.
Without warning, we crashed through the front entrance. Of my platoon, only twelve of us remained. The charge had decimated our numbers, but we had made it. And we had a president to save.
Mia took in the tiled, checkerboard hallway with its white columns and the various iconographies of presidents past, now severely damaged and burned. “Now what?” she murmured.
“We’ll need to get to the Oval Office,” I replied. “Which is in the uh… West Wing. I think.”
“Okay,” Mia said, glancing between the stairs and the multitude of hallways branching off in every direction. “And where is that?”
Her question was answered rather abruptly by a bellow of outrage followed immediately by the body of a hulking mummy smashing its way through the wall and skidding to halt at our feet.
“What is this shit?!” a woman’s voice thundered out of the opening, shaking a bit of plaster loose to the floor. “I am the President of the United—Balls! The fuck am I saying? Donum! Where are you?”
I swallowed nervously as the eyes of my remaining troops swiveled to look at me. I had been trying to keep our affair a secret, but it was not a great look for the Commander in Chief to be calling for a common Army Lieutenant in the middle of an undead alien invasion. By name.
“She must have been… told to expect us,” I muttered over the obvious sounds of combat coming from the mummy-shaped hole. “Now come on. She needs our help.”
“Our help?” Gyx’s voice whispered incredulously from my back, and I spared the Corporal a glance. “But Lieutenant… that sounded like the President—“ She shook her head. “No. No, I mean that sounded like… well, the Office should have been sealed! No, not the Office. Blast!”
“Enough, cunt! Discharge!” the Sergeant… attempted to say softly. “I think I understand you. Interesting. Very interesting. But it’s a question for another day. Let’s be about this.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hwx whispered, stalling us further. Fearfully, she clutched at the Corporal’s sleeve. “We should leave. Now.”
“And how do you expect to do that?” the Corporal gritted out from her sharp teeth. “We only just made it through that gauntlet, and now you want to go back? We’d be lucky if we were only court-martialed!”
The Private looked at her like she had grown a third breast. “What’s a court-martial?”
“How would I know?!” Gyx shouted back with a panicked edge.
“Cut the chatter,” I commanded sharply just as a yowl like some crazed animal emanated from the President’s office and another outline of a mummified body indented into the plaster a few feet from the first. “We’ve got a president to save…”
With confident gait and gleam in my eye, I shouldered my plasma rifle and strode forward. To their credit, the rest of the men followed suit. These were the best of the best—with the possible exception of Hwk—the survivors. They had walked through hell and come out the other end. Now it was time for the finale.
We stepped through the hole into chaos. The President’s desk and the classic pair of cream-colored couches had been all but destroyed. Mummified bodies were strewn everywhere. The floors, the walls. One had even been embedded into the ceiling and trailed pink streamers like some grotesque chandelier.
And central to it all was the President. She looked crazed and feral. And utterly nude. By that point, she had already grown to a height of twelve feet and her skin had sprouted an assortment mismatched pelts, furs and quills. Underneath them, powerful muscles swelled and bulged as she carved a swath through undead hordes. Random spikes and claws sprouted from her almost without thought or direction, yet each time a new one sprang forth, it would take a mummy in the eye or stab another in the gut like guided missiles.
She was terrifying. But she was also my lover. I needed to find some way to help her, but she moved so fast, it was all but impossible to safely aim at anything.
At that moment, a trio of mummies smashed through the windows from the garden, each wielding their own plasma rifles. Mia and I quickly dispatched two of them, but the third just managed get off a shot to the President’s chest before the men gunned him down.
She threw her head back and roared in pain as the rose-colored bolt slammed into her, but though she staggered, she did not fall. Instead, she merely gritted her teeth and flexed. A moment later, the grisly wound had healed over, covering her perfect breasts with mismatched furs.
“You think you can down me with such paltry weapons?” she roared to the room at large, but there were no more foes to fell. Save for my men, there was no one left standing. “I will bear such insults no longer! Donum!”
“Here, sir,” I replied immediately before turning to a pair of faceless soldiers. “You two, cover the windows. I don’t want any more surprises.”
“Sir!” they shouted in unison.
For a moment, the President and I merely stared at one another. She still looked furious, but she was started to calm down now that room had been cleared. And with her calm, most of her animalistic features were starting to recede… save for the two majestic pairs of horns curling out of her hair—itself mismatched and patchwork just as her pelts had been.
I favored her with a bit of a lopsided grin. “President Ahnbe. It’s good to see you… safe. Having a bit of fun were we?”
“Fun?!” she shouted, her eyes flashing. Then the corners of her lips began to curl upward. “Yes… I suppose I was, now that you mention it. But it wasn’t exactly the kind of fun I’d been hoping for when I—“
She paused, finally noticing that we were not exactly alone. “Lieutenant…”
I cleared my throat before roaring, “Men! About face!”
As one, the lot of them swiveled around and rigidly stared at the walls. All except for three.
Private First-Class Hwx and Corporal Gyx were clutching at one another in a terrified bundle on the far side of the room. Sergeant Mia, on the other hand, was standing to one side and staring at the President with a complicated expression—somewhere between contemplation and a cautious hostility.
Ahnbe stared at the two quivering in the corner for a moment. She clearly recognized them, though from her face, it was the kind of recognition you might have for a familiar gardener or a janitor coincidentally showing up at a favored restaurant. Their presence clearly bothered her, but she did not seem like she was ready to fly into a rage about it.
“Donum… where are you right now?” she asked casually.
“I’m… in your office, Madam President,” I replied, a little confused.
She glanced back at me and quirked an eyebrow. “Just like the last time…” Then her eyes slowly traced their way down the length of me. “I wonder if that’ll be the same, too.”
“Ma’am?”
Instead of answering, she cast another curious look at the cowardly duo, “Still, for them to be here… now… Why wasn’t I notified?”
“I rather doubt high command would have bothered to ask,” I assured her. “We didn’t have a great deal of time in putting together this little team, but they’ve served well enough so far.”
She chuffed through her nose before dismissing the pair entirely. “Well, no matter… I’ll get to the bottom of this one way or the other. In the meantime…”
Favoring me with a flirtatious little smile, she let the rest of her excess mass fall away, shrinking until the top of her head was just about even with my nose. Then she leapt into my arms. I was immediately reminded of the fact that she was completely and totally naked… and seemed not to care in the slightest.
Even as she crushed her perfect body into mine, her lips met my own in a glorious blaze of passion. It was as if she had been starved for weeks on end only to suddenly find the source from which all life sprang. And while we kissed, she took the opportunity to explore every inch of my body. She moaned as she ran her hands through my hair and down my back. Her feet dug into my backside as she ground her naked sex over my growing erection.
And all the while, she scented at me. My face, my neck, my ears… anywhere she could find to smell, she did. It was like she had found some heady perfume that drove her wild with want.
“Ahh~ I’ve missed this,” she crooned, panting. “I wish I had never let you go, but I had no choice! And then a silly little bug started telling me all sorts of strange things, so naturally I had to come check for myself whether—“ Abruptly, she froze. “Bline!”
I turned to follow her stare only to find the Sergeant at the end of it. Then, unconsciously, my gaze flicked downward. In our passion, I had forgotten about her, but the Sergeant had been watching us the entire time. And had evidently decided to join us.
Her uniform laid discarded at her feet, leaving her gloriously naked save the helmet on her head. Her breasts were just as large and wondrous as I had ever imaged them, with faint crinkles at their tips just showing her nipples—themselves ghostly pale to the point of almost blending with the rest of her skin. Her hips were wide yet tapered to a narrow waist, forming a classic hourglass. And her bare sex practically dripped with her arousal.
Yet she did not move, save to uncontrollably twist and undulate her body in an evocative little dance. She merely waited.
“What is the meaning of this?” Ahnbe hissed, clutching me tightly. “I have Claimed him! Begone from here!”
Mia only smiled. Then she casually removed her helmet. Her red-black hair spilled out like a stream of water down her back, over her shoulders, and pooled down between her breasts. And of course, her horns were revealed. They had grown a bit since the last time I had seen them, and curiously they had begun to fork just a bit at the tips.
Ahnbe gasped on seeing them and shook her head. “I… I don’t understand. You’re not… But then h-how can you… W-What does this mean?”
Mia’s smile broadened. Still she said nothing. She merely strode forward, the claws at her feet clicking against the tiled floor. Then, when she was beside us, she very deliberately leaned into my side and pressed her nose into my shoulder. Just as Ahnbe had done, she took a long and slow sniff at me. She held it for a moment, and her eyes fluttered in ecstasy. Then she turned her head and slowly blew it into Ahnbe’s face.
“It means I serve.” Mia’s voice was low and heavy with seduction, though her eye twitched from holding back her compulsion to swear.
“As do you, my kin.”
Seleroan
Once upon a time, a certain reader clicked on a Patreon button and was transported to a magical place filled with advanced chapters and gained the ability to feed starving writers.
The End
“I know.” With a bit of a lopsided grin, I hefted one of the new plasma rifles the boys down in the lab had provided. “Modified Wrapper tech, they say. Shame we couldn’t get enough in time for the rest of the men, but I’ll take whatever we can get. I just hope they don’t end up blowing up in our faces.”
So saying, I tossed one of the rifles to the Sergeant and, while she fumbled to catch the weapon, I quickly snatched up another for myself. “Come on. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”
The Sergeant stared at the advanced technology in her arms for a moment before giving it a curious sniff, but then she shrugged. “Shall I… signal the charge? Sir?”
“On my mark…” I murmured, scanning the skies.
On cue, a squadron of F-22s screamed over our heads, peeling off just after unleashing a payload of Storm Shadows straight into the landed pyramids. I waited until the shockwave had passed over us before giving a definitive nod to my Sergeant.
“Charge!” she bellowed, loud enough to be heard even over the explosion.
As one, we broke cover, racing for the entrance. The rest of the troops soon followed suit and, like an amorphous blob, we began racing for the entrance stairs. The battle had stripped the once pristine garden of its once beautiful splendor, and the lawn was now little more than a smoldering pile of ashes and craters. Not that any of us had much of an eye for things like that though, too intent were we on our goal.
Almost as soon as we sprang into action, hovering pyramids swooped in from out of nowhere and began dropping payloads in front of us, barring our path. They looked like little more than gigantic bundles of wadded up toilet paper—all dyed a deep fuchsia—but when they landed, mummies started pouring out of them. All of them were huge, ridiculously over-muscled freaks, yelling unintelligible battle-cries and moaning in undead fury. And hot pink.
The men immediately began firing at them, but they seemed to regard small arms fire as little more than a minor annoyance. My soldiers might as well have been attempting to shoot their names into living boulders designed by Mattel for all the good they were doing. Like raging bulls, the mummies began tearing into the front lines, sending men flying and ripping bodies in half.
I wasted no time before leveling my new blaster at one the lumbering behemoths. With a satisfying thwumb, the rifle unleashed a bar of blue light straight into its chest, throwing it off its feet and setting it ablaze. A moment after it landed, its chest cavity burst, sending flaming confetti into the air like a gigantic party-popper.
“Hoo! That packs a wallop!” Mia shouted excitedly before aiming her own at another of the beasts. However, for some reason, she had elected to hold the weapon like it was some sort of magical staff. And upside down.
I was about to correct her, but then she shouted… something. Against all odds, another of the bolts fired out of the butt of the gun, and a second mummy was hurled flaming into the air.
“Huh… must have an alternate fire mode.” Doubtlessly, I had missed that during the brief.
Our immediate path clear, we resumed our charge, only occasionally taking a moment to reintroduce the concept of death to our enemies. The lawn seemed to stretch forever. On and on we ran. More burned and blackened grass. More undead horrors.
Tentacled jackals burst forth from the bundles of pink linen, toilet paper tastefully tied about their throats like ribbons as they ravaged men in their slavering jaws. Severed hands grasped at our feet, still somehow living despite our best efforts. And all the while, the pyramids overhead carved into my troops with their own pink light. Earth and bodies flew everywhere.
Mia and I ducked and weaved amongst the twisted metal stacked up on all sides, jutting out of the ground like giant tacks for some unseen game of marbles set in the middle of the Barbie aisle between the uncaring children of giants. We fired into the opposition without care or even bothering to aim. There was only run and shoot. Run and shoot. On. And on. And on.
Without warning, we crashed through the front entrance. Of my platoon, only twelve of us remained. The charge had decimated our numbers, but we had made it. And we had a president to save.
Mia took in the tiled, checkerboard hallway with its white columns and the various iconographies of presidents past, now severely damaged and burned. “Now what?” she murmured.
“We’ll need to get to the Oval Office,” I replied. “Which is in the uh… West Wing. I think.”
“Okay,” Mia said, glancing between the stairs and the multitude of hallways branching off in every direction. “And where is that?”
Her question was answered rather abruptly by a bellow of outrage followed immediately by the body of a hulking mummy smashing its way through the wall and skidding to halt at our feet.
“What is this shit?!” a woman’s voice thundered out of the opening, shaking a bit of plaster loose to the floor. “I am the President of the United—Balls! The fuck am I saying? Donum! Where are you?”
I swallowed nervously as the eyes of my remaining troops swiveled to look at me. I had been trying to keep our affair a secret, but it was not a great look for the Commander in Chief to be calling for a common Army Lieutenant in the middle of an undead alien invasion. By name.
“She must have been… told to expect us,” I muttered over the obvious sounds of combat coming from the mummy-shaped hole. “Now come on. She needs our help.”
“Our help?” Gyx’s voice whispered incredulously from my back, and I spared the Corporal a glance. “But Lieutenant… that sounded like the President—“ She shook her head. “No. No, I mean that sounded like… well, the Office should have been sealed! No, not the Office. Blast!”
“Enough, cunt! Discharge!” the Sergeant… attempted to say softly. “I think I understand you. Interesting. Very interesting. But it’s a question for another day. Let’s be about this.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hwx whispered, stalling us further. Fearfully, she clutched at the Corporal’s sleeve. “We should leave. Now.”
“And how do you expect to do that?” the Corporal gritted out from her sharp teeth. “We only just made it through that gauntlet, and now you want to go back? We’d be lucky if we were only court-martialed!”
The Private looked at her like she had grown a third breast. “What’s a court-martial?”
“How would I know?!” Gyx shouted back with a panicked edge.
“Cut the chatter,” I commanded sharply just as a yowl like some crazed animal emanated from the President’s office and another outline of a mummified body indented into the plaster a few feet from the first. “We’ve got a president to save…”
With confident gait and gleam in my eye, I shouldered my plasma rifle and strode forward. To their credit, the rest of the men followed suit. These were the best of the best—with the possible exception of Hwk—the survivors. They had walked through hell and come out the other end. Now it was time for the finale.
We stepped through the hole into chaos. The President’s desk and the classic pair of cream-colored couches had been all but destroyed. Mummified bodies were strewn everywhere. The floors, the walls. One had even been embedded into the ceiling and trailed pink streamers like some grotesque chandelier.
And central to it all was the President. She looked crazed and feral. And utterly nude. By that point, she had already grown to a height of twelve feet and her skin had sprouted an assortment mismatched pelts, furs and quills. Underneath them, powerful muscles swelled and bulged as she carved a swath through undead hordes. Random spikes and claws sprouted from her almost without thought or direction, yet each time a new one sprang forth, it would take a mummy in the eye or stab another in the gut like guided missiles.
She was terrifying. But she was also my lover. I needed to find some way to help her, but she moved so fast, it was all but impossible to safely aim at anything.
At that moment, a trio of mummies smashed through the windows from the garden, each wielding their own plasma rifles. Mia and I quickly dispatched two of them, but the third just managed get off a shot to the President’s chest before the men gunned him down.
She threw her head back and roared in pain as the rose-colored bolt slammed into her, but though she staggered, she did not fall. Instead, she merely gritted her teeth and flexed. A moment later, the grisly wound had healed over, covering her perfect breasts with mismatched furs.
“You think you can down me with such paltry weapons?” she roared to the room at large, but there were no more foes to fell. Save for my men, there was no one left standing. “I will bear such insults no longer! Donum!”
“Here, sir,” I replied immediately before turning to a pair of faceless soldiers. “You two, cover the windows. I don’t want any more surprises.”
“Sir!” they shouted in unison.
For a moment, the President and I merely stared at one another. She still looked furious, but she was started to calm down now that room had been cleared. And with her calm, most of her animalistic features were starting to recede… save for the two majestic pairs of horns curling out of her hair—itself mismatched and patchwork just as her pelts had been.
I favored her with a bit of a lopsided grin. “President Ahnbe. It’s good to see you… safe. Having a bit of fun were we?”
“Fun?!” she shouted, her eyes flashing. Then the corners of her lips began to curl upward. “Yes… I suppose I was, now that you mention it. But it wasn’t exactly the kind of fun I’d been hoping for when I—“
She paused, finally noticing that we were not exactly alone. “Lieutenant…”
I cleared my throat before roaring, “Men! About face!”
As one, the lot of them swiveled around and rigidly stared at the walls. All except for three.
Private First-Class Hwx and Corporal Gyx were clutching at one another in a terrified bundle on the far side of the room. Sergeant Mia, on the other hand, was standing to one side and staring at the President with a complicated expression—somewhere between contemplation and a cautious hostility.
Ahnbe stared at the two quivering in the corner for a moment. She clearly recognized them, though from her face, it was the kind of recognition you might have for a familiar gardener or a janitor coincidentally showing up at a favored restaurant. Their presence clearly bothered her, but she did not seem like she was ready to fly into a rage about it.
“Donum… where are you right now?” she asked casually.
“I’m… in your office, Madam President,” I replied, a little confused.
She glanced back at me and quirked an eyebrow. “Just like the last time…” Then her eyes slowly traced their way down the length of me. “I wonder if that’ll be the same, too.”
“Ma’am?”
Instead of answering, she cast another curious look at the cowardly duo, “Still, for them to be here… now… Why wasn’t I notified?”
“I rather doubt high command would have bothered to ask,” I assured her. “We didn’t have a great deal of time in putting together this little team, but they’ve served well enough so far.”
She chuffed through her nose before dismissing the pair entirely. “Well, no matter… I’ll get to the bottom of this one way or the other. In the meantime…”
Favoring me with a flirtatious little smile, she let the rest of her excess mass fall away, shrinking until the top of her head was just about even with my nose. Then she leapt into my arms. I was immediately reminded of the fact that she was completely and totally naked… and seemed not to care in the slightest.
Even as she crushed her perfect body into mine, her lips met my own in a glorious blaze of passion. It was as if she had been starved for weeks on end only to suddenly find the source from which all life sprang. And while we kissed, she took the opportunity to explore every inch of my body. She moaned as she ran her hands through my hair and down my back. Her feet dug into my backside as she ground her naked sex over my growing erection.
And all the while, she scented at me. My face, my neck, my ears… anywhere she could find to smell, she did. It was like she had found some heady perfume that drove her wild with want.
“Ahh~ I’ve missed this,” she crooned, panting. “I wish I had never let you go, but I had no choice! And then a silly little bug started telling me all sorts of strange things, so naturally I had to come check for myself whether—“ Abruptly, she froze. “Bline!”
I turned to follow her stare only to find the Sergeant at the end of it. Then, unconsciously, my gaze flicked downward. In our passion, I had forgotten about her, but the Sergeant had been watching us the entire time. And had evidently decided to join us.
Her uniform laid discarded at her feet, leaving her gloriously naked save the helmet on her head. Her breasts were just as large and wondrous as I had ever imaged them, with faint crinkles at their tips just showing her nipples—themselves ghostly pale to the point of almost blending with the rest of her skin. Her hips were wide yet tapered to a narrow waist, forming a classic hourglass. And her bare sex practically dripped with her arousal.
Yet she did not move, save to uncontrollably twist and undulate her body in an evocative little dance. She merely waited.
“What is the meaning of this?” Ahnbe hissed, clutching me tightly. “I have Claimed him! Begone from here!”
Mia only smiled. Then she casually removed her helmet. Her red-black hair spilled out like a stream of water down her back, over her shoulders, and pooled down between her breasts. And of course, her horns were revealed. They had grown a bit since the last time I had seen them, and curiously they had begun to fork just a bit at the tips.
Ahnbe gasped on seeing them and shook her head. “I… I don’t understand. You’re not… But then h-how can you… W-What does this mean?”
Mia’s smile broadened. Still she said nothing. She merely strode forward, the claws at her feet clicking against the tiled floor. Then, when she was beside us, she very deliberately leaned into my side and pressed her nose into my shoulder. Just as Ahnbe had done, she took a long and slow sniff at me. She held it for a moment, and her eyes fluttered in ecstasy. Then she turned her head and slowly blew it into Ahnbe’s face.
“It means I serve.” Mia’s voice was low and heavy with seduction, though her eye twitched from holding back her compulsion to swear.
“As do you, my kin.”
Seleroan
Once upon a time, a certain reader clicked on a Patreon button and was transported to a magical place filled with advanced chapters and gained the ability to feed starving writers.
The End
