I stared at the single slab of jerky between my fingers for some time, my face flat. If there is a word that simultaneously describes both unparalleled disappointment and profound gratitude in the same instant, I do not know it. But that was how I felt.
It was food. Finally.
I could barely remember the last thing I had eaten. Even in Raialie, I had missed out on a proper meal thanks to… certain complications—some welcome and others decidedly less so. Regardless, my diet had consisted solely on the Life Energy the lilim provided for so long, I had almost forgotten this most basic of human pleasures.
That said, there did not seem to be much of anything ‘pleasurable’ about this particular example. As food went, it was not exactly the most… pristine. Nor at all appetizing. The hunk of dried meat had been sitting on the bottom of an old, rotted chest with neither wrapping nor any indication that it had been stored with anything resembling care. But… I was hungry enough not to look a gift-horse in the mouth. Or ask what kind of meat it was. Some answers are not worth knowing.
I don’t see any mold. And it seems… reasonably clean. Ish.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Lynnria shouted, momentarily distracting me from my internal debate.
But she did not appear to be talking to me directly, instead addressing the room at large while angrily waving about the short stick she had dug out of the chest. I had to assume this was the ‘weapon’ she had lucked into.
Disgusted almost to the point of tears, she tossed the thing aside and collapsed into a high-backed chair, her tail hanging limp between her legs. That stick had been the only other thing we had found.
Well… almost. There had also been a singular copper piece. I assumed as the final cherry on the sundae.
I may have gotten Xhinn’s riddle correct—and deduced some small part of Her nature in the process—but if the contents of this chest were anything to go by, She was sending us quite the message. She was still in charge around here. Just because She had to provide the occasional treasure, that did not mean it had to have anything good in it.
“M’uh i' coo’ me a ma’ic ‘and,” I protested.
Lynnria listlessly flopped her head over to find me working at the wooden hunk of meat between my molars. It was a stubborn little bastard. I was even having to use both hands.
“Don’t eat that!” she shouted, straightening with alarm. “You don’t even know what it—give me that!”
She quickly grabbed at it, but I was not to be deterred. She wanted the precious! Growling like an animal, I jerked back, taking the two of us down in a heap.
“Would… you… just…”
Our brief wrestling match was quickly ended by a sharp elbow to my gut, and my reflexive gasp was just enough for her to leverage the thing from between my teeth. I came after it instantly, almost zombie-like in my single-minded determination to get at the food, but she held me at bay by pressing her outstretched palm into my face.
“What if it’s poisoned?” she shouted.
That made me hesitate. Also, my teeth were starting to hurt.
“Wha—? No! Come on,” I argued in obvious desperation. “There’s no way She’d give me a hunk of poisoned food in a treasure chest! Not after… slowly bleeding me dry with… all those traps.”
As realization set in, I petered out. That was just exactly the kind of evil crap a vengeful dungeon master might pull. Cursed items were a classic mainstay of D&D. But I was assuming things.
“Mia… come on, help me out here,” I said finally. “That’s against the rules. Right?”
Mia gasped in delight at the question. “Myes! I—I mean no. I don’t—want you to stop! Oh, ruddy…” She took a breath. “Apologies, my liege. It isn’t my domain, but I assume She can put whatever she likes in a chest like this. Poison Resistance is one of the more frequently requested skills amongst Questers, after all.”
“Damn it…” I grumbled. “And don’t apologize. It was my fault for asking.”
“But I like it!”
“There, see!” Lynnria said, triumphant. “There are steps for these things, and you’ve already skipped the first three.”
“The first three?” I rubbed at my brow in frustration. The promise of food had already awoken my stomach from its long hibernation, and it was now bouncing atop my intestines like a six-year-old in an inflatable castle. “How long is this going to take?”
“Only a day or so,” she replied, absently sniffing at the hunk of meat. “What did it taste like? Was it bitter or soapy?”
“A day?” I repeated weakly.
My stomach made a loud gurgle of protest before slinking off back to bed. It kicked my spine once out of spite.
Sighing, I ran my tongue experimentally around my mouth for a moment, considering how to answer. If I were being completely honest, I was feeling more dried out than anything. I had not had much to drink lately, either. Oddly, that had not occurred to me until that very moment.
“No, nothing like that. It didn’t taste like much of anything. Unless boot leather is a flavor?”
“Weird,” she muttered. “It smells very strongly of pepper.”
“What does that mean?”
She shrugged. “Not sure. But we need to wait to see if you have a reaction. Let me know if you start feeling any burning or itching.”
I nodded, though what she planned to do about it in that event was a mystery. I knew I could do something about it, but that was not a bridge I was yet ready to cross. Not with Lynnria around.
I could not trust her not to take advantage of me once the Lust Ailment took hold… which is a peculiar vulnerability to have as a man.
“Alright… I guess we can stow it with the crystals,” I suggested, untying the bundle in question from around my waist.
Seleroan
Hey there, gentle reader.
Enjoying the content? Well, why not drop by my Patreon? It helps me keep this show running, and allows me to afford great things like editors, cover artists, and food!
Each chapter is now being personalized with some... passable chapter-inspired AI generated art. I try. But it gives things a bit of color. And you can read ahead!
Come on down! We'd love to see you.
I stared at the single slab of jerky between my fingers for some time, my face flat. If there is a word that simultaneously describes both unparalleled disappointment and profound gratitude in the same instant, I do not know it. But that was how I felt.
It was food. Finally.
I could barely remember the last thing I had eaten. Even in Raialie, I had missed out on a proper meal thanks to… certain complications—some welcome and others decidedly less so. Regardless, my diet had consisted solely on the Life Energy the lilim provided for so long, I had almost forgotten this most basic of human pleasures.
That said, there did not seem to be much of anything ‘pleasurable’ about this particular example. As food went, it was not exactly the most… pristine. Nor at all appetizing. The hunk of dried meat had been sitting on the bottom of an old, rotted chest with neither wrapping nor any indication that it had been stored with anything resembling care. But… I was hungry enough not to look a gift-horse in the mouth. Or ask what kind of meat it was. Some answers are not worth knowing.
I don’t see any mold. And it seems… reasonably clean. Ish.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Lynnria shouted, momentarily distracting me from my internal debate.
But she did not appear to be talking to me directly, instead addressing the room at large while angrily waving about the short stick she had dug out of the chest. I had to assume this was the ‘weapon’ she had lucked into.
Disgusted almost to the point of tears, she tossed the thing aside and collapsed into a high-backed chair, her tail hanging limp between her legs. That stick had been the only other thing we had found.
Well… almost. There had also been a singular copper piece. I assumed as the final cherry on the sundae.
I may have gotten Xhinn’s riddle correct—and deduced some small part of Her nature in the process—but if the contents of this chest were anything to go by, She was sending us quite the message. She was still in charge around here. Just because She had to provide the occasional treasure, that did not mean it had to have anything good in it.
“M’uh i' coo’ me a ma’ic ‘and,” I protested.
Lynnria listlessly flopped her head over to find me working at the wooden hunk of meat between my molars. It was a stubborn little bastard. I was even having to use both hands.
“Don’t eat that!” she shouted, straightening with alarm. “You don’t even know what it—give me that!”
She quickly grabbed at it, but I was not to be deterred. She wanted the precious! Growling like an animal, I jerked back, taking the two of us down in a heap.
“Would… you… just…”
Our brief wrestling match was quickly ended by a sharp elbow to my gut, and my reflexive gasp was just enough for her to leverage the thing from between my teeth. I came after it instantly, almost zombie-like in my single-minded determination to get at the food, but she held me at bay by pressing her outstretched palm into my face.
“What if it’s poisoned?” she shouted.
That made me hesitate. Also, my teeth were starting to hurt.
“Wha—? No! Come on,” I argued in obvious desperation. “There’s no way She’d give me a hunk of poisoned food in a treasure chest! Not after… slowly bleeding me dry with… all those traps.”
As realization set in, I petered out. That was just exactly the kind of evil crap a vengeful dungeon master might pull. Cursed items were a classic mainstay of D&D. But I was assuming things.
“Mia… come on, help me out here,” I said finally. “That’s against the rules. Right?”
Mia gasped in delight at the question. “Myes! I—I mean no. I don’t—want you to stop! Oh, ruddy…” She took a breath. “Apologies, my liege. It isn’t my domain, but I assume She can put whatever she likes in a chest like this. Poison Resistance is one of the more frequently requested skills amongst Questers, after all.”
“Damn it…” I grumbled. “And don’t apologize. It was my fault for asking.”
“But I like it!”
“There, see!” Lynnria said, triumphant. “There are steps for these things, and you’ve already skipped the first three.”
“The first three?” I rubbed at my brow in frustration. The promise of food had already awoken my stomach from its long hibernation, and it was now bouncing atop my intestines like a six-year-old in an inflatable castle. “How long is this going to take?”
“Only a day or so,” she replied, absently sniffing at the hunk of meat. “What did it taste like? Was it bitter or soapy?”
“A day?” I repeated weakly.
My stomach made a loud gurgle of protest before slinking off back to bed. It kicked my spine once out of spite.
Sighing, I ran my tongue experimentally around my mouth for a moment, considering how to answer. If I were being completely honest, I was feeling more dried out than anything. I had not had much to drink lately, either. Oddly, that had not occurred to me until that very moment.
“No, nothing like that. It didn’t taste like much of anything. Unless boot leather is a flavor?”
“Weird,” she muttered. “It smells very strongly of pepper.”
“What does that mean?”
She shrugged. “Not sure. But we need to wait to see if you have a reaction. Let me know if you start feeling any burning or itching.”
I nodded, though what she planned to do about it in that event was a mystery. I knew I could do something about it, but that was not a bridge I was yet ready to cross. Not with Lynnria around.
I could not trust her not to take advantage of me once the Lust Ailment took hold… which is a peculiar vulnerability to have as a man.
“Alright… I guess we can stow it with the crystals,” I suggested, untying the bundle in question from around my waist.
Seleroan
Hey there, gentle reader.
Enjoying the content? Well, why not drop by my Patreon? It helps me keep this show running, and allows me to afford great things like editors, cover artists, and food!
Each chapter is now being personalized with some... passable chapter-inspired AI generated art. I try. But it gives things a bit of color. And you can read ahead!
Come on down! We'd love to see you.
