“Well… whistle my dick,” she said shortly.
She seemed to be enjoying that particular malapropism. To my annoyance. I tried not to think about it. I had spells to cast.
“Go for the legs!” she shouted as she sprang to her feet—then immediately collapsed while clutching at her ankles. “Augh! What the…?”
“Great. Thanks,” Arx yelled mid-air. And upside down. Somehow, she still managed to make it sound sarcastic. “Now get your boots off and your ass up here!”
Lynnria shook her head in confusion. “Wha…? Donum, I think I need healing. I must have torn something.”
I swore sharply as the broken fragments of yet another spell tumbled ineffectually from my lips. It seemed clear that some new change had triggered within the girl. How Arx had picked up on it so quickly when even Lynnria had not was anyone’s guess, but I really did not have the time to deal with it right then.
“Boots! Off!” I barked. “They’re pulling your ankles out of alignment.”
Then, I immediately returned to spellcasting.
“What? You mean because I twisted them earlier?”
I nodded absently. It was a convenient lie, but getting her up and moving was far more important than any truth could be. Besides, I had magic to worry about!
Just as the dominoes from hell returned, turning the back half of the corridor into so much rubble, Arx’s flawless dodge streak was finally cut short. The golem’s relentless onslaught had pressed her to the wall, and she was left with no option save attempting to deflect its massive arm with her scimitar. The impact snapped the blade at the hilt, and she was sent spinning past the now-bootless Lynnria.
The girl had been bouncing on her toes experimentally with a pleased little grin on her face when Arx’s body rag-dolled past us. Whatever brief elation she had been feeling was taken with it. But she was not about to just stand there. Immediately drawing her ‘Earthen bow,’ she pointed it at the advancing golem.
“Dirt!”
With a sound best left to the imagination, the substance in question rocketed directly into what passed for the barrel-man’s face. The impact staggered it, and the golem crashed against the wall before it could regain its balance.
“Ha ha!” Lynnria crowed. “Did you see that, Donum? Right between the eyes! Those months of archery training paid off splendidly, I tell you!”
“He’s got an accuracy buff going, you twat,” Arx growled as she climbed unsteadily to her feet. She had a wicked gash running along her forehead, and she was clutching at her now-useless left arm. The golem’s blow had all but crushed it.
Lynnria pouted slightly. “But that’s cheating.”
“This isn’t a tourney bout. Cheating is the name of the game.” She turned to me. “‘Snails, Donum. Spit it out, already!”
I had been mostly ignoring them through the exchange, instead trying to devote my attention to where it needed to be. Bizarre, magical languages are difficult even when you are not embroiled in a chaotic fight to the death, but I knew that. By that point, I was experienced enough not to get frustrated. The spell would come eventually.
So about the time Arx began losing patience, the final syllables to the spell were coming together, and I thrust the result toward her. The sticky substance magically coalesced around her claws where it seemed to emit a dull and evil gleam even through the medium of the two-dimensional, arcade lines my buff provided.
“What is that?” Lynnria asked, faintly disgusted.
“That is what we do when we’re tired of just cheating and start playing dirty,” Arx replied with a grin. “Think you can keep that thing busy?”
Lynnria slapped one end of the wand into the palm of her hand. “For a little while. This thing is kind of draining.”
I turned my head to listen. The destruction wave was turning back toward us.
“We only have a little while.”
“Right…” She turned to point her wand. “Dirt!”
Again, her aim was perfect, and the now disoriented golem staggered against the wall almost like a prize fighter after taking a glove to the chin.
Lynnria grinned and stepped forward, pursuing her prey.
I pulled my attention away from her and back to Arx. She had summoned her arrow in the interim and was busily scraping some of the Sap from her injured hand onto its tip.
“I don’t think that’s going to do much,” I opined nervously.
“We’ll see. Now, buff me with that healing armament of yours.”
I glanced at the automaton quickly. I had not really used that version of Renewal of Consumption much since the fight with the mutant giraffe, so I was less familiar with its quirks. However, at least in theory, it should allow the spell to draw its fuel source from her opponent rather than me.
“Does it even have Life Energy to drain?”
“Let’s find out.”
I nodded. Better than sitting on our thumbs…
Casting that spell was a mere trifle, especially when I did not have to worry about powering it. All I had to do was rattle off the far-more-familiar incantation and hold it until Arx hit something. As an added bonus, I focused as hard as I could toward making it as powerful as possible. It might have been a fruitless effort, but I knew that when I drew from my own reserves, I was able to tune the flow of Energy to the amount needed for the injury I was healing.
Arx’s arm was broken, and that usually took quite a bit. However, even if it had not been, I was pretty keen on draining as much Life out of that monster as I could.
“Dirt!”
I glanced back to Lynnria’s ongoing struggle. The fight had been going marginally better than Arx’s. The wand seemed to at least affect the golem somewhat, and the mechanical man was now beginning to display some respect for the weapon. By shielding its head with both arms.
“Cheeky bastard!” she yelled when the spell splattered harmlessly against them. Her tail began twitching anxiously as the golem advanced. “What’s the matter? Can’t take it anymore? Tired of getting your skull caved in?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Arx taking careful aim, and I had a sudden flashback… of wildly out-of-control arrows.
“Duck, Lynnria!” I yelled.
“Huh?”
Arx did not wait. “Eyah!”
For a moment, time seemed to slow its relentless march toward eternity. The slight warble I had heard in her pitch caused my groin to clench in horror, and a shout of warning swelled in my throat. It was a useless reaction, born more of instinct than reason. Lynnria could no more dodge that arrow—cleaving its way through the air like a bullet toward her neck—than she could leap to the moon. She barely had the chance to widen her eyes.
But then, the arrow’s path contorted—just slightly—until it looked more like a spiral than a straight line. That slight shift carried it past her, missing her jugular by the breadth of a hair.
The tension broke. Time resumed its natural rhythm. The next thing I knew, there was a wooden thwok, heralding the arrow sinking home… right into the golem’s completely unguarded crotch. Dead center.
Seleroan
Hey folks!
I've got merch! That's right, about a month ago, I hired an artist to do some character portraits, and I figured, 'What better way to use them, than letting you guys buy your favorite girl. As a mug!'
Yeah... what can I say? I like coffee.
Anyway, here's the store:
https://the-quest-of-words-merch.printify.me/products
Currently, it only ships to the US. Can't seem to figure out why. Nothing on the webpage mentions that. But that's how it is. If I can figure out a way around it, I'll let you know.
For those of you outside the US, I also still have the Patreon available. And you gain access to the most up-to-date chapters.
Come on down! We'd love to see you.
“Well… whistle my dick,” she said shortly.
She seemed to be enjoying that particular malapropism. To my annoyance. I tried not to think about it. I had spells to cast.
“Go for the legs!” she shouted as she sprang to her feet—then immediately collapsed while clutching at her ankles. “Augh! What the…?”
“Great. Thanks,” Arx yelled mid-air. And upside down. Somehow, she still managed to make it sound sarcastic. “Now get your boots off and your ass up here!”
Lynnria shook her head in confusion. “Wha…? Donum, I think I need healing. I must have torn something.”
I swore sharply as the broken fragments of yet another spell tumbled ineffectually from my lips. It seemed clear that some new change had triggered within the girl. How Arx had picked up on it so quickly when even Lynnria had not was anyone’s guess, but I really did not have the time to deal with it right then.
“Boots! Off!” I barked. “They’re pulling your ankles out of alignment.”
Then, I immediately returned to spellcasting.
“What? You mean because I twisted them earlier?”
I nodded absently. It was a convenient lie, but getting her up and moving was far more important than any truth could be. Besides, I had magic to worry about!
Just as the dominoes from hell returned, turning the back half of the corridor into so much rubble, Arx’s flawless dodge streak was finally cut short. The golem’s relentless onslaught had pressed her to the wall, and she was left with no option save attempting to deflect its massive arm with her scimitar. The impact snapped the blade at the hilt, and she was sent spinning past the now-bootless Lynnria.
The girl had been bouncing on her toes experimentally with a pleased little grin on her face when Arx’s body rag-dolled past us. Whatever brief elation she had been feeling was taken with it. But she was not about to just stand there. Immediately drawing her ‘Earthen bow,’ she pointed it at the advancing golem.
“Dirt!”
With a sound best left to the imagination, the substance in question rocketed directly into what passed for the barrel-man’s face. The impact staggered it, and the golem crashed against the wall before it could regain its balance.
“Ha ha!” Lynnria crowed. “Did you see that, Donum? Right between the eyes! Those months of archery training paid off splendidly, I tell you!”
“He’s got an accuracy buff going, you twat,” Arx growled as she climbed unsteadily to her feet. She had a wicked gash running along her forehead, and she was clutching at her now-useless left arm. The golem’s blow had all but crushed it.
Lynnria pouted slightly. “But that’s cheating.”
“This isn’t a tourney bout. Cheating is the name of the game.” She turned to me. “‘Snails, Donum. Spit it out, already!”
I had been mostly ignoring them through the exchange, instead trying to devote my attention to where it needed to be. Bizarre, magical languages are difficult even when you are not embroiled in a chaotic fight to the death, but I knew that. By that point, I was experienced enough not to get frustrated. The spell would come eventually.
So about the time Arx began losing patience, the final syllables to the spell were coming together, and I thrust the result toward her. The sticky substance magically coalesced around her claws where it seemed to emit a dull and evil gleam even through the medium of the two-dimensional, arcade lines my buff provided.
“What is that?” Lynnria asked, faintly disgusted.
“That is what we do when we’re tired of just cheating and start playing dirty,” Arx replied with a grin. “Think you can keep that thing busy?”
Lynnria slapped one end of the wand into the palm of her hand. “For a little while. This thing is kind of draining.”
I turned my head to listen. The destruction wave was turning back toward us.
“We only have a little while.”
“Right…” She turned to point her wand. “Dirt!”
Again, her aim was perfect, and the now disoriented golem staggered against the wall almost like a prize fighter after taking a glove to the chin.
Lynnria grinned and stepped forward, pursuing her prey.
I pulled my attention away from her and back to Arx. She had summoned her arrow in the interim and was busily scraping some of the Sap from her injured hand onto its tip.
“I don’t think that’s going to do much,” I opined nervously.
“We’ll see. Now, buff me with that healing armament of yours.”
I glanced at the automaton quickly. I had not really used that version of Renewal of Consumption much since the fight with the mutant giraffe, so I was less familiar with its quirks. However, at least in theory, it should allow the spell to draw its fuel source from her opponent rather than me.
“Does it even have Life Energy to drain?”
“Let’s find out.”
I nodded. Better than sitting on our thumbs…
Casting that spell was a mere trifle, especially when I did not have to worry about powering it. All I had to do was rattle off the far-more-familiar incantation and hold it until Arx hit something. As an added bonus, I focused as hard as I could toward making it as powerful as possible. It might have been a fruitless effort, but I knew that when I drew from my own reserves, I was able to tune the flow of Energy to the amount needed for the injury I was healing.
Arx’s arm was broken, and that usually took quite a bit. However, even if it had not been, I was pretty keen on draining as much Life out of that monster as I could.
“Dirt!”
I glanced back to Lynnria’s ongoing struggle. The fight had been going marginally better than Arx’s. The wand seemed to at least affect the golem somewhat, and the mechanical man was now beginning to display some respect for the weapon. By shielding its head with both arms.
“Cheeky bastard!” she yelled when the spell splattered harmlessly against them. Her tail began twitching anxiously as the golem advanced. “What’s the matter? Can’t take it anymore? Tired of getting your skull caved in?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Arx taking careful aim, and I had a sudden flashback… of wildly out-of-control arrows.
“Duck, Lynnria!” I yelled.
“Huh?”
Arx did not wait. “Eyah!”
For a moment, time seemed to slow its relentless march toward eternity. The slight warble I had heard in her pitch caused my groin to clench in horror, and a shout of warning swelled in my throat. It was a useless reaction, born more of instinct than reason. Lynnria could no more dodge that arrow—cleaving its way through the air like a bullet toward her neck—than she could leap to the moon. She barely had the chance to widen her eyes.
But then, the arrow’s path contorted—just slightly—until it looked more like a spiral than a straight line. That slight shift carried it past her, missing her jugular by the breadth of a hair.
The tension broke. Time resumed its natural rhythm. The next thing I knew, there was a wooden thwok, heralding the arrow sinking home… right into the golem’s completely unguarded crotch. Dead center.
Seleroan
Hey folks!
I've got merch! That's right, about a month ago, I hired an artist to do some character portraits, and I figured, 'What better way to use them, than letting you guys buy your favorite girl. As a mug!'
Yeah... what can I say? I like coffee.
Anyway, here's the store:
https://the-quest-of-words-merch.printify.me/products
Currently, it only ships to the US. Can't seem to figure out why. Nothing on the webpage mentions that. But that's how it is. If I can figure out a way around it, I'll let you know.
For those of you outside the US, I also still have the Patreon available. And you gain access to the most up-to-date chapters.
Come on down! We'd love to see you.
