There was a lot of greenery around the hospital. Black and white patterned birds were walking on the lawn, bouncing as they trotted along.
She and I were walking there the same way we had come.
“Why are you so angry, Saionji-san?”
Walking in front of me as fast as ever, angry as ever, she stopped.
“What?”
“You’ve been angry all day.”
“…You are asking why…”
She raised an eyebrow. She often smiles when her face is not visible, but she always looks unhappy when she is visible. This could be the difference between Nekura and Sakura. Or Saionji-san and Hiria-chan.
The relationship between me and Saionji-san isn’t like Nekura and Hiria. It is, but it’s not.
“Are you disappointed that it was me?”
“…”
“I was disappointed, you know.”
Saionji-san took a small gulp of air and looked as if he was about to cry as if feeling hurt. But it was really only for a moment as if it was of the imagination, and then she glared at me with strong eyes.
“I was hoping for someone more useless, someone as bad as me. With Saionji-san, I can’t be on equal footing…”
“What’s with that?”
“Saionji-san wouldn’t be interested in someone like me.”
She seemed to be thinking for a while with a glare on her face, but then she let out a sigh with a pitifully dumbfounded look on her face.
“I don’t really understand what you mean… Anyway, I now think that Sakura-kun’s low self-esteem was a curse…”
“It’s not that my self-esteem is low. It’s just that it’s overrated. It’s always been that way.”
I acted out what was expected of me and created an overrated version of myself. I’ve been doing this for a long time.
Saionji-san pulled her gaze away and said like she was angry.
“I’m sure Sakura-kun is kind.”
Then, she scraped her foot with her heel.
“I will not live the way others want me to. I will not give a friendly smile, and I will not be the lady that others want me to be.”
“Eh, then isn’t it better if you give a friendly smile?”
“Why?”
“That way, the people around you will feel more at ease …and it will be closer to the real Saionji-san.”
“Sakura-kun, you sure talk quite a lot… Even though you said you can’t talk well with girls.”
“Saionji-san already knows everything about me. There’s no need to worry about you being disappointed in me now…”
There is no need to be pretentious with someone who has been disappointed from the start. It’s strange that I can speak so smoothly when I think about it.
“And it doesn’t seem like you’ll hate me more than you already do.”
I added and She glared at me again as if she was annoyed by my comment.
I almost laughed as a line like “You’re so cute even when you glare” or some other line that had never occurred to me before popped into my head, like some handsome guy. When you have a lot of space in your brain, you have a lot of options in the available space.
“Just so you know, unlike Sakura-kun, I’m not disappointed! …I don’t even dislike it.”
“Eh, really? Then why are you angry?”
“…I don’t understand. I’ve been thinking about it a lot… and I’m really pissed off, I feel like I’ve been tricked.”
“I didn’t trick you, and I think it’s mutual.”
“Shut up! I know that too! Even though Nekura-kun would never say such a thing… you’re being hard on me just because it’s me.”
“I don’t mean to be, but …sorry.”
Saionji-san turned her head down, looking somewhat unsettled.
I felt awkward, so I fell silent again and followed Saionji-san as she looked up and started walking.
I called out to her as she walked straight past the hospital gate.
“Saionji-san, where are you going?”
“I’m going home!”
” That’s where the school is, right? If you want to go home, the station is this way…”
“…u! IDIOT!!”
Maybe the blood is rushing to her head. Saionji-san came shuffling back towards me with an angry expression on her face.
The angry face of a beautiful girl is powerful. It’s scary.
Saionji-san came right up to me and smacked me in the chest with a thwack.
“It’s Sakura-kun! It’s Sakura-kun’s fault! Idiot! In what world is there an unpopular guy who is surrounded by girls most of the time during breaks?”
She even had tears in her eyes from anger as she punched me with something like a cat punch.
It’s hard for a guy like me to say anything at this point.
I was filled with a sense of remorse.
I didn’t even notice for a while that she was slumped over and silent, as the forceless, continuous pounding had completely subsided.
My consciousness snapped back to reality and I looked at her.
Maybe thinking that she might be crying in rage, she looked down and concentrated on rolling the stones on the grass at her feet with her toes.
A small breeze came through, and the birds that must have been nearby were gone.
Eventually, I heard a stifled voice say, “Sorry”. It was a voice that I had never heard before when I was talking to Hiria-chan.
“I’m not disappointed in you, Sakura-kun… But I always thought you were a stranger, someone I didn’t know.”
“…”
“Since I thought I was talking to a complete stranger… I felt like I was being eavesdropped on… I was so embarrassed…”
“…”
“Maybe I’m mad because the fun and games are over. Or rather than mad, maybe I should say I feel… very… sad.”
Fun and games. Maybe so. An irresponsible relationship where you don’t have to expose yourself and only the deeper parts of yourself can be heard.
“Even though I destroyed it myself.”
She said self-mockingly and looked like she was about to cry.
There was a lot of greenery around the hospital. Black and white patterned birds were walking on the lawn, bouncing as they trotted along.
She and I were walking there the same way we had come.
“Why are you so angry, Saionji-san?”
Walking in front of me as fast as ever, angry as ever, she stopped.
“What?”
“You’ve been angry all day.”
“…You are asking why…”
She raised an eyebrow. She often smiles when her face is not visible, but she always looks unhappy when she is visible. This could be the difference between Nekura and Sakura. Or Saionji-san and Hiria-chan.
The relationship between me and Saionji-san isn’t like Nekura and Hiria. It is, but it’s not.
“Are you disappointed that it was me?”
“…”
“I was disappointed, you know.”
Saionji-san took a small gulp of air and looked as if he was about to cry as if feeling hurt. But it was really only for a moment as if it was of the imagination, and then she glared at me with strong eyes.
“I was hoping for someone more useless, someone as bad as me. With Saionji-san, I can’t be on equal footing…”
“What’s with that?”
“Saionji-san wouldn’t be interested in someone like me.”
She seemed to be thinking for a while with a glare on her face, but then she let out a sigh with a pitifully dumbfounded look on her face.
“I don’t really understand what you mean… Anyway, I now think that Sakura-kun’s low self-esteem was a curse…”
“It’s not that my self-esteem is low. It’s just that it’s overrated. It’s always been that way.”
I acted out what was expected of me and created an overrated version of myself. I’ve been doing this for a long time.
Saionji-san pulled her gaze away and said like she was angry.
“I’m sure Sakura-kun is kind.”
Then, she scraped her foot with her heel.
“I will not live the way others want me to. I will not give a friendly smile, and I will not be the lady that others want me to be.”
“Eh, then isn’t it better if you give a friendly smile?”
“Why?”
“That way, the people around you will feel more at ease …and it will be closer to the real Saionji-san.”
“Sakura-kun, you sure talk quite a lot… Even though you said you can’t talk well with girls.”
“Saionji-san already knows everything about me. There’s no need to worry about you being disappointed in me now…”
There is no need to be pretentious with someone who has been disappointed from the start. It’s strange that I can speak so smoothly when I think about it.
“And it doesn’t seem like you’ll hate me more than you already do.”
I added and She glared at me again as if she was annoyed by my comment.
I almost laughed as a line like “You’re so cute even when you glare” or some other line that had never occurred to me before popped into my head, like some handsome guy. When you have a lot of space in your brain, you have a lot of options in the available space.
“Just so you know, unlike Sakura-kun, I’m not disappointed! …I don’t even dislike it.”
“Eh, really? Then why are you angry?”
“…I don’t understand. I’ve been thinking about it a lot… and I’m really pissed off, I feel like I’ve been tricked.”
“I didn’t trick you, and I think it’s mutual.”
“Shut up! I know that too! Even though Nekura-kun would never say such a thing… you’re being hard on me just because it’s me.”
“I don’t mean to be, but …sorry.”
Saionji-san turned her head down, looking somewhat unsettled.
I felt awkward, so I fell silent again and followed Saionji-san as she looked up and started walking.
I called out to her as she walked straight past the hospital gate.
“Saionji-san, where are you going?”
“I’m going home!”
” That’s where the school is, right? If you want to go home, the station is this way…”
“…u! IDIOT!!”
Maybe the blood is rushing to her head. Saionji-san came shuffling back towards me with an angry expression on her face.
The angry face of a beautiful girl is powerful. It’s scary.
Saionji-san came right up to me and smacked me in the chest with a thwack.
“It’s Sakura-kun! It’s Sakura-kun’s fault! Idiot! In what world is there an unpopular guy who is surrounded by girls most of the time during breaks?”
She even had tears in her eyes from anger as she punched me with something like a cat punch.
It’s hard for a guy like me to say anything at this point.
I was filled with a sense of remorse.
I didn’t even notice for a while that she was slumped over and silent, as the forceless, continuous pounding had completely subsided.
My consciousness snapped back to reality and I looked at her.
Maybe thinking that she might be crying in rage, she looked down and concentrated on rolling the stones on the grass at her feet with her toes.
A small breeze came through, and the birds that must have been nearby were gone.
Eventually, I heard a stifled voice say, “Sorry”. It was a voice that I had never heard before when I was talking to Hiria-chan.
“I’m not disappointed in you, Sakura-kun… But I always thought you were a stranger, someone I didn’t know.”
“…”
“Since I thought I was talking to a complete stranger… I felt like I was being eavesdropped on… I was so embarrassed…”
“…”
“Maybe I’m mad because the fun and games are over. Or rather than mad, maybe I should say I feel… very… sad.”
Fun and games. Maybe so. An irresponsible relationship where you don’t have to expose yourself and only the deeper parts of yourself can be heard.
“Even though I destroyed it myself.”
She said self-mockingly and looked like she was about to cry.
