A few days have passed since Gloria gave me a bed in her house. She’s lived alone until I moved in, but there is plenty of space to share, especially considering the design of the building accommodates ursu, not áed. The bed Gloria gave me is huge, and softer than anything I ever felt before. The room is large enough that I have to be careful not to let the door shut, otherwise I won’t be able to reach the handle.
It is a unique experience having an area to myself, my own room. The past few weeks I’ve had no space away from the trio that brought me here and before that, when I was with my tribe, I always shared a ger with three or more tribesmen.
Gloria has been very nice and welcoming to me, almost overbearingly. The first afternoon I stayed with her, she even treated me to a bowl of coal topped with a sweet golden syrup that tasted divine. If I am to complain about anything, it would be that she treats me like a kid. Is it my size that makes them think I’m younger than I am? I’ll have to bring it up at some point.
The coal Gloria brings me is great, but I have to hold myself back from eating all of it. I only eat to where I can still control my external temperature to a low enough level so that I don’t burn my new bed. I can eat it all and keep my body heat low, but I’ll be throwing away almost all the coal’s energy to do so. Like uncle always said: I shouldn’t be wasteful.
My missing leg has finally seen some improvement. The stump grew two whole centimetres since I began my new diet. It is exciting, thinking that soon I will walk again with my own strength, instead of relying on my crutch or being carried around by others.
It is a bit of a relief to see it will regrow. As it has remained unchanged for so long, I feared that I’d be stuck that way, even if I knew it was only because I hadn’t been eating enough. Another issue I had was that without another áed to support my growth with Kindling, I didn’t know how much longer it would take me to grow. Mum emphasised how important it was for her to Kindle my flame for my growth. Will I even grow without it? I hope I don’t have to stay this small forever. I want to grow up already.
From the satchel hanging around my neck, I pull out the pink flame marble from inside. The last physical memory I have from my tribe, of my mum and uncle. Losing myself in the motionless flame, I drown myself in the memories of those already gone. It hurts every time I recall them, my time with them, the wistful memories of everyone I miss. I hate the pain that comes when I recall these moments, but I would hate to forget them far more.
A knock at the door turns my head. Leal stuck her head through the gap of the door, waving a hand at me. I rush to put the marble back into the satchel around my neck and give a smile to her.
“Hi,” I say, patting my bed beside me to invite her to sit.
She doesn’t, instead she grabs my arm and leads me out of the room. “C’mon, you promised to show me your fire. Let’s go, I wanna see.”
I’m dragged off the bed and try to land on my foot, but with Leal still tugging at my arm, I’m unable to stop myself falling.
“I’m so sorry. I was in a rush and got too excited. I didn’t mean it. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Leal panics.
I swear, none of them know their own strength.
I push myself up into a kneeling position and reassure her, “I’m fine, but please don’t pull me anymore.”
Leal nods in rapid succession and stares for a long moment at my stump. She turns away from me and drops into a crouch.
“Hop on, I’ll carry you,” she says, turning her head towards me.
And once again I’m being carried around, this time by a girl my age. A girl my age that is heads taller than the tallest adult from my tribe.
I wave goodbye to Gloria on my way out. I want to tell her where I am going, but Leal doesn’t give me a chance and is quick to escape the building, not making a noise until we are once again alone.
My first assumption is that she will take us to the wide open area in front of the Continae, which would be a perfect place to show what I can do, but she runs off in the opposite direction. It is the mid-afternoon now, and many ursu wander the streets. Leal must have come to pick me up the moment she finished her day at the academy. She’d come by yesterday trying to get me to go out with her, but it had already been dark, and Gloria hadn’t been willing to let me go out during the night.
Leal is studying to be a mage at the academy, but how much do they have to teach if she is there all day? There must be a lot.
“What’s it like at the academy?” I ask Leal as she is walking.
I’m pretty sure I hear her say ‘good’, but it is so quiet and mumbled that I might be mistaken. So, thinking she didn’t hear me, I ask again.
This time she ducks her head as if to hide from my words. She dashes out of the street with high pedestrian traffic and into a side alley. She jogs along smaller, more disorganised buildings than are common in the central part of the city. Leal passes through a tight narrow passage between two buildings and we soon find ourselves in a rather large space hidden away between the buildings. I only see one way to enter the space, which is the gap between the buildings we just passed through. I doubt an adult ursu could ever make their way back here. Leal looks like she is struggling to fit, and she’s the thinnest ursu I’ve met.
“Solvei, welcome to my secret paradise,” Leal announces, lifting her chin and throwing her arms out to emphasise her words.
“Um, you asked about the academy, right? Sorry I was… distracted.” She seems unsure of herself before shifting back to her restless excitement. “I love it. The academy is great. There are so many interesting things to learn. The teachers are amazing. Mr. Humbert is a rare lightning mage who created an incredible marking to increase muscle movement speed and Miss Berne has an amazing collection of water manipulation markings. Oh, and the library is enormous; there isn’t a bigger one in the city.”
I zone out as she continues to talk about how great the academy is and why she’s so happy to attend. I am still being held, but I don’t want to be, so I push myself from Leal’s back and let myself fall to the ground.
With the weight on her back gone, Leal’s talk about the academy is interrupted and she turns to find me sitting on the ground. It surprises me she even notices. Gerben has a tendency to not notice if I push myself down from his shoulders. And it’s not like he is the only ursu oblivious to minor changes in weight or small touches. What they can’t see doesn’t exist to them.
“Oh right, we are here to see your fire, not to talk about school.” Leal then smiles at me expectantly. “Well? Well? Please show me.”
I guess I should humour her. I’ll disappoint her with my lack of strength and she won’t ask again. First, I point my arm skyward and let free a stream of uncontrolled flame. Not putting my inner flame into it means the most I can do is create a five metre pillar of fire that doesn’t even breach the height of the surrounding buildings. I can create this stream from any point on my body, but using the arms is a habit from when mum taught me to aim.
Next, I focus on pushing my inner flame into the pillar. Now able to freely control the fire, I push it further. I allow it to reach for the roofs of the surrounding buildings but hold back to stop it from going above. Leal mentioned this place is secret, so I’d rather not shoot off a beacon for everyone in the city to see.
With a firm grip over the pillar of flame, I change the shape into a spiral and lower it down until it surrounds us both, spinning with lazy motions. This is easy stuff. Any áed can do this before their eighth birthday. Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be. It took me until I was almost nine to reach the strength and control necessary to do so.
The last part I want to show her is nowhere near as flashy as the rest, but it is by far the most difficult. At least for me. I was close to succeeding while I was still with my tribe, only losing control of my form at the same time.
The scorching spiral settles back into my palm. Careful not to allow the flame too close to Leal, I compress the flame down into a size I believe I can manage. Grasping the ball of fire in my hands like it has a physical form, I control my thoughts and temper my emotions. I calm my mind and let the ball free from my grasp, focusing both on separating the ball while still maintaining control, both on it and my body.
As the ball leaves contact with my body, it loses its spherical shape and naturally reverts to the familiar flickering of a flame. I leave it be, not taking full control over the orb in order to not distract from controlling my body. Slowly, I move the flame around my body, concentrating hard to force it to remain under my control, while it remains almost at the peripheral of my mind.
With a full rotation of my body, I let the orb dissipate, relaxing my tensed body back into a comfortable position. A quick check over my body shows no sign I lost control of myself again. I jump on my one foot and celebrate a little. This is my first genuine success at remote inner flame control. Sure, there are improvements to be made, but it is an achievement I haven’t been able to accomplish until now.
Leal shares my enthusiasm. She grabs my arms and starts jumping along with me. This time she’s careful not to pull me any way that might have me falling over, which I’m grateful for.
“That was amazing, Solvei! You’re so young and yet you can already do what older students struggle with.” Leal stares at me with stars in her eyes. “And you’re able to separate your element from your body and still control it? I don’t even think that’s possible with markings!”
“Huh?” Her exuberance cuts into my celebration. Can mages really not control their element without it being connected? I know how hard it is to do from experience, but every áed can control their fire at a distance from their body. For an adult áed, there is almost no difference between being in contact and remotely controlling their inner flame as, well, it is a part of themselves.
Wait, she just mentioned my age. I guess she sees me as a lot younger than herself. I don’t want her to treat me as if I’m a kid, especially if she’s as old as I am. But I also want to avoid the embarrassment in case I’m wrong and she knows my age. How should I do this? Hmm.
“Leal, how old are you?”
“I’m 12.”
“Wow, that’s so close to me. I’m 10.” I point out how close we are, putting more emphasis on the ‘wow’ than I intend.
Leal’s face is almost comedic, the amount of shock that she shows. I guess it’s pretty obvious now that she thought I was a lot younger.
“Huh? What? But you’re so small.”
Her shock morphs into apparent nervousness and she holds herself a bit more reservedly. The sudden change in demeanour worries me. It’s like how she acted while we were on our way here from Gloria’s house.
“Are you alright, Leal?” I ask.
“Ye-yes. I’m sorry I treated you like a kid.”
She was treating me like a kid? It feels more like she’s been treating me as some new toy that caught her interest. Wait, is that how ursu treat their own children? Maybe it’ll be best not to think too much about it and forgive her already.
“It’s alright, we can still be friends, yeah?” I say.
“F-Friends? Are we friends?” Leal asks, still nervously stumbling over her words.
“Are we not?” I didn’t think she disliked me, so I already thought we were friends. Does she not think the same?
“Yes. I mean, we are. I’m happy to be friends with you.” Leal’s demeanour flips once again. Now humming in excitement again.
She is odd. I might just be unused to talking to others my age or maybe it’s an ursu thing, but I find her entire personality strange. Well, it’s obvious she doesn’t have bad intentions, so we should be able to get along great. I am honestly excited about what she might show me about the ursu country. The things I’ve seen have already been incredible. As much as I’d love to return to my old life with my tribe, I have always wanted to see the strange sights of the world outside the wasteland, and this is my chance.
It’s just a shame that I’ll be alone to do it.
No, that is wrong. My tribe is gone, but that doesn’t mean I have to be alone. The generosity of the ursu has already shown me that. And looking at Leal talk about her interests and how she is happy to be my friend gives me hope for a proper future.
A few days have passed since Gloria gave me a bed in her house. She’s lived alone until I moved in, but there is plenty of space to share, especially considering the design of the building accommodates ursu, not áed. The bed Gloria gave me is huge, and softer than anything I ever felt before. The room is large enough that I have to be careful not to let the door shut, otherwise I won’t be able to reach the handle.
It is a unique experience having an area to myself, my own room. The past few weeks I’ve had no space away from the trio that brought me here and before that, when I was with my tribe, I always shared a ger with three or more tribesmen.
Gloria has been very nice and welcoming to me, almost overbearingly. The first afternoon I stayed with her, she even treated me to a bowl of coal topped with a sweet golden syrup that tasted divine. If I am to complain about anything, it would be that she treats me like a kid. Is it my size that makes them think I’m younger than I am? I’ll have to bring it up at some point.
The coal Gloria brings me is great, but I have to hold myself back from eating all of it. I only eat to where I can still control my external temperature to a low enough level so that I don’t burn my new bed. I can eat it all and keep my body heat low, but I’ll be throwing away almost all the coal’s energy to do so. Like uncle always said: I shouldn’t be wasteful.
My missing leg has finally seen some improvement. The stump grew two whole centimetres since I began my new diet. It is exciting, thinking that soon I will walk again with my own strength, instead of relying on my crutch or being carried around by others.
It is a bit of a relief to see it will regrow. As it has remained unchanged for so long, I feared that I’d be stuck that way, even if I knew it was only because I hadn’t been eating enough. Another issue I had was that without another áed to support my growth with Kindling, I didn’t know how much longer it would take me to grow. Mum emphasised how important it was for her to Kindle my flame for my growth. Will I even grow without it? I hope I don’t have to stay this small forever. I want to grow up already.
From the satchel hanging around my neck, I pull out the pink flame marble from inside. The last physical memory I have from my tribe, of my mum and uncle. Losing myself in the motionless flame, I drown myself in the memories of those already gone. It hurts every time I recall them, my time with them, the wistful memories of everyone I miss. I hate the pain that comes when I recall these moments, but I would hate to forget them far more.
A knock at the door turns my head. Leal stuck her head through the gap of the door, waving a hand at me. I rush to put the marble back into the satchel around my neck and give a smile to her.
“Hi,” I say, patting my bed beside me to invite her to sit.
She doesn’t, instead she grabs my arm and leads me out of the room. “C’mon, you promised to show me your fire. Let’s go, I wanna see.”
I’m dragged off the bed and try to land on my foot, but with Leal still tugging at my arm, I’m unable to stop myself falling.
“I’m so sorry. I was in a rush and got too excited. I didn’t mean it. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Leal panics.
I swear, none of them know their own strength.
I push myself up into a kneeling position and reassure her, “I’m fine, but please don’t pull me anymore.”
Leal nods in rapid succession and stares for a long moment at my stump. She turns away from me and drops into a crouch.
“Hop on, I’ll carry you,” she says, turning her head towards me.
And once again I’m being carried around, this time by a girl my age. A girl my age that is heads taller than the tallest adult from my tribe.
I wave goodbye to Gloria on my way out. I want to tell her where I am going, but Leal doesn’t give me a chance and is quick to escape the building, not making a noise until we are once again alone.
My first assumption is that she will take us to the wide open area in front of the Continae, which would be a perfect place to show what I can do, but she runs off in the opposite direction. It is the mid-afternoon now, and many ursu wander the streets. Leal must have come to pick me up the moment she finished her day at the academy. She’d come by yesterday trying to get me to go out with her, but it had already been dark, and Gloria hadn’t been willing to let me go out during the night.
Leal is studying to be a mage at the academy, but how much do they have to teach if she is there all day? There must be a lot.
“What’s it like at the academy?” I ask Leal as she is walking.
I’m pretty sure I hear her say ‘good’, but it is so quiet and mumbled that I might be mistaken. So, thinking she didn’t hear me, I ask again.
This time she ducks her head as if to hide from my words. She dashes out of the street with high pedestrian traffic and into a side alley. She jogs along smaller, more disorganised buildings than are common in the central part of the city. Leal passes through a tight narrow passage between two buildings and we soon find ourselves in a rather large space hidden away between the buildings. I only see one way to enter the space, which is the gap between the buildings we just passed through. I doubt an adult ursu could ever make their way back here. Leal looks like she is struggling to fit, and she’s the thinnest ursu I’ve met.
“Solvei, welcome to my secret paradise,” Leal announces, lifting her chin and throwing her arms out to emphasise her words.
“Um, you asked about the academy, right? Sorry I was… distracted.” She seems unsure of herself before shifting back to her restless excitement. “I love it. The academy is great. There are so many interesting things to learn. The teachers are amazing. Mr. Humbert is a rare lightning mage who created an incredible marking to increase muscle movement speed and Miss Berne has an amazing collection of water manipulation markings. Oh, and the library is enormous; there isn’t a bigger one in the city.”
I zone out as she continues to talk about how great the academy is and why she’s so happy to attend. I am still being held, but I don’t want to be, so I push myself from Leal’s back and let myself fall to the ground.
With the weight on her back gone, Leal’s talk about the academy is interrupted and she turns to find me sitting on the ground. It surprises me she even notices. Gerben has a tendency to not notice if I push myself down from his shoulders. And it’s not like he is the only ursu oblivious to minor changes in weight or small touches. What they can’t see doesn’t exist to them.
“Oh right, we are here to see your fire, not to talk about school.” Leal then smiles at me expectantly. “Well? Well? Please show me.”
I guess I should humour her. I’ll disappoint her with my lack of strength and she won’t ask again. First, I point my arm skyward and let free a stream of uncontrolled flame. Not putting my inner flame into it means the most I can do is create a five metre pillar of fire that doesn’t even breach the height of the surrounding buildings. I can create this stream from any point on my body, but using the arms is a habit from when mum taught me to aim.
Next, I focus on pushing my inner flame into the pillar. Now able to freely control the fire, I push it further. I allow it to reach for the roofs of the surrounding buildings but hold back to stop it from going above. Leal mentioned this place is secret, so I’d rather not shoot off a beacon for everyone in the city to see.
With a firm grip over the pillar of flame, I change the shape into a spiral and lower it down until it surrounds us both, spinning with lazy motions. This is easy stuff. Any áed can do this before their eighth birthday. Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be. It took me until I was almost nine to reach the strength and control necessary to do so.
The last part I want to show her is nowhere near as flashy as the rest, but it is by far the most difficult. At least for me. I was close to succeeding while I was still with my tribe, only losing control of my form at the same time.
The scorching spiral settles back into my palm. Careful not to allow the flame too close to Leal, I compress the flame down into a size I believe I can manage. Grasping the ball of fire in my hands like it has a physical form, I control my thoughts and temper my emotions. I calm my mind and let the ball free from my grasp, focusing both on separating the ball while still maintaining control, both on it and my body.
As the ball leaves contact with my body, it loses its spherical shape and naturally reverts to the familiar flickering of a flame. I leave it be, not taking full control over the orb in order to not distract from controlling my body. Slowly, I move the flame around my body, concentrating hard to force it to remain under my control, while it remains almost at the peripheral of my mind.
With a full rotation of my body, I let the orb dissipate, relaxing my tensed body back into a comfortable position. A quick check over my body shows no sign I lost control of myself again. I jump on my one foot and celebrate a little. This is my first genuine success at remote inner flame control. Sure, there are improvements to be made, but it is an achievement I haven’t been able to accomplish until now.
Leal shares my enthusiasm. She grabs my arms and starts jumping along with me. This time she’s careful not to pull me any way that might have me falling over, which I’m grateful for.
“That was amazing, Solvei! You’re so young and yet you can already do what older students struggle with.” Leal stares at me with stars in her eyes. “And you’re able to separate your element from your body and still control it? I don’t even think that’s possible with markings!”
“Huh?” Her exuberance cuts into my celebration. Can mages really not control their element without it being connected? I know how hard it is to do from experience, but every áed can control their fire at a distance from their body. For an adult áed, there is almost no difference between being in contact and remotely controlling their inner flame as, well, it is a part of themselves.
Wait, she just mentioned my age. I guess she sees me as a lot younger than herself. I don’t want her to treat me as if I’m a kid, especially if she’s as old as I am. But I also want to avoid the embarrassment in case I’m wrong and she knows my age. How should I do this? Hmm.
“Leal, how old are you?”
“I’m 12.”
“Wow, that’s so close to me. I’m 10.” I point out how close we are, putting more emphasis on the ‘wow’ than I intend.
Leal’s face is almost comedic, the amount of shock that she shows. I guess it’s pretty obvious now that she thought I was a lot younger.
“Huh? What? But you’re so small.”
Her shock morphs into apparent nervousness and she holds herself a bit more reservedly. The sudden change in demeanour worries me. It’s like how she acted while we were on our way here from Gloria’s house.
“Are you alright, Leal?” I ask.
“Ye-yes. I’m sorry I treated you like a kid.”
She was treating me like a kid? It feels more like she’s been treating me as some new toy that caught her interest. Wait, is that how ursu treat their own children? Maybe it’ll be best not to think too much about it and forgive her already.
“It’s alright, we can still be friends, yeah?” I say.
“F-Friends? Are we friends?” Leal asks, still nervously stumbling over her words.
“Are we not?” I didn’t think she disliked me, so I already thought we were friends. Does she not think the same?
“Yes. I mean, we are. I’m happy to be friends with you.” Leal’s demeanour flips once again. Now humming in excitement again.
She is odd. I might just be unused to talking to others my age or maybe it’s an ursu thing, but I find her entire personality strange. Well, it’s obvious she doesn’t have bad intentions, so we should be able to get along great. I am honestly excited about what she might show me about the ursu country. The things I’ve seen have already been incredible. As much as I’d love to return to my old life with my tribe, I have always wanted to see the strange sights of the world outside the wasteland, and this is my chance.
It’s just a shame that I’ll be alone to do it.
No, that is wrong. My tribe is gone, but that doesn’t mean I have to be alone. The generosity of the ursu has already shown me that. And looking at Leal talk about her interests and how she is happy to be my friend gives me hope for a proper future.
