It took me longer than learning to fly did, but my voice is finally recognisable through my beak. Strangely, the sound of my voice is entirely determined by the shape of my throat and mouth. It was easy to replace the bird throat with what felt more natural, but it became a bit of a problem trying to speak without a mouth and lips.
Of course, I tried switching my beak back with a mouth, but that made flying far too annoying. The beak is surprisingly good at cutting through the air. Instead, I had to change my throat and tongue over the course of a few days until I felt comfortable that my voice was mostly identical to normal.
I now also have the ability to make my voice incredibly high or low pitch too, so that’s fun. I might get a good scare out of someone one day. Leslie is definitely going to be my first target.
While I’m worried about how I might find the others, I’m far more excited about reuniting with them. I know where they were planning to go, so as long as they didn’t make any major deviations to their plan, I’d have a good starting place to search.
Amongst the northern states, there are two that border the Zadok Kingdom; the Kingdom of Joiak and the Vanguard. Joiak is a small nation that is supposed to have separated from Zadok a few generations ago. Supposedly, the kingdom doesn’t discriminate against those with darker hair. The Vanguard, on the other hand, is a nation with a well-known hatred for the Theocracy and is open to any immigrants that flee north.
That’s about the limit of what I know, but Ash and the others were heading to the Kingdom of Joiak last time we were together. It’s not much to go on, I know, but I’m feeling inexplicably confidant I will find them. If I can find where they’ve been, I can ask around if anyone has seen them.
After only a few days of flying — with proper nights of rest — I reach the river I’ve been looking for. I already assumed so considering it is ursu controlled land I’ve been passing these few days, but I am still glad it isn’t the sea that shows up before me. I may be able to fly now, but there isn’t a chance I’m going over such a large body of water.
The Wailing Woodland never appeared below me as I flew and only now do I realise it doesn’t span the border, as I mistakenly assumed. Really, I should have guessed, considering Zadok’s army marched south-east rather than directly south.
I wonder what happened to the Zadokans that attacked the ursu. There was no sight of them in the areas I passed, so I can’t imagine their invasion was successful. Did they retreat or were they slaughtered like the Henosis?
I look west up the river. There is no reason for me to pass the fort like last time. I can just glide over the river now, after all. But I want to see Finn again. I didn’t realise it at the time, but he put his job on the line to help me out when he did. The reaction when the others in the caravan thought I was a darker-haired albanic was telling.
I want to see him and while I might lose a bit of time catching up with Leslie and the others; I am already a month or so behind them. A quick detour will hardly matter.
My wings sweep me west. I’m heading back to the original route through Zadok.
It takes a day to reach the familiar fort built over the river. Surprisingly, I find no other forts along the river. There are a few watchtowers, but even they are sparse.
My talons press down within the grass and I have to pull back on the fire that tries to spread from my touch. I could have flown right into the fort, but it will take me almost fifteen minutes to change back and I’m not comfortable doing so around so many people.
I stand and walk toward the gate I passed only a few months ago. It feels like so much more time passed than reality. The building is the same, but even from a distance out I can tell there are nowhere near the number of guards manning the fort as before. There are none at the top of the walls and only two wait before me.
As I approach the final distance, the guards take longer than they probably should to notice me. Too busy talking between themselves to pay attention until I am right next to them.
“-ole just up and left. Ya think they’d notice if I took my vacation early?” I catch the end of their conversation.
I clear my throat. “Excuse me. Is Finn still around?”
The man who spoke flinches away from me with an “eek” while the other man looks me dead on with annoyed eyes.
The first guard turns and lifts his musket right in my face. My eyes narrow at the threat and I frown toward the frightened man, who takes a hurried step back, keeping his gun pointed right between my eyes.
I’m about to step forward and burn the damn weapon out of his hands before his partner beats me to it. He grabs the gun by its barrel and jerks it out of his hands.
“I knew you were incompetent, but I never would have guessed you’d hold your weapon at a child.”
“Oi! Give that back!”
The guard that snatched the weapon doesn’t, instead he turns to me and narrows his brows.
“What’s a child doing out here all alone anyway? Where did you come from?” his eyes flicker over my jacket, which is obviously too large for even an adult albanic and to my hair.
I guess I can understand his suspicions better than the last time I came through. This time though, I don’t have any intention of hiding what I am.
My hair engulfs in a bright orange fire. I want them to know what I am, but there is no need to go against the standards of my tribe too much. Just enough that they’ll know my hair colour doesn’t matter.
I’m successful in removing his suspicions. Unfortunately, it is replaced with hostility. He hefts his own gun right in the same position his partner did not a moment sooner.
Irritated, I send out a quick burst to incinerate the weapon in his hand. Too late. The bullet pierces right through my head before I can burn the gun out of his hands. I feel a slight tingle as the shrapnel piece passes through me, but I’m left otherwise unaffected.
He throws away the weapon he’s holding and lifts the one he snatched from the other guard. I didn’t leave that weapon alone though, the trigger already red hot by the time he lifts his weapon. A sizzling finger is all he’s left with as he jerks the second weapon away before even getting off a shot.
“Back off,” I growl.
My eyes flick to the first guard who stands there stunned, then back to the one who shot me. He’s already tried to kill me twice, once more, and I won’t be as forgiving.
I continue glaring and hold my ground as the man grabs at a knife on his belt.
“Hold! Stand down!” a familiar voice shouts, but the man before me doesn’t hear.
He is just about to make his last mistake. My flames roil, prepared to end his existence the moment he touches me. But he doesn’t reach me. His partner — the one who until now has done nothing but stand stiff after his own gun was snatched — grabs the albanic under the arms and pulls him away from me.
The man struggles against his restraint. “What are you doing? Let me go! Don’t you see one of Chernobog’s spawn right in front of you?”
Behind the two struggling guards, Finn and a couple of others run, wielding their own guns. He looks over me and I’m a bit disappointed he shows no recognition. I trust the situation will be handled properly now though, so I pull back on my primed fire, leaving only my hair aflame once again. That calms him and the guards beside him down enough that he turns his attention away from me.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing, firing against protocol?” Finn demands from the man still being restrained.
The guards flanking Finn watch me like hawks as he interrogates the guard.
“It’s one of Chernobog’s. Fuck protocol, it needs to die.”
Finn glances over at me. “I don’t remember fire ever being a part of Chernobog’s domain. Would that not fall under the category of light rather than darkness?” His eyes widen as he looks over me. “Wait, Solvei?”
I give him a small wave. It’s nice to know he remembers me.
Finn flicks his attention right back to the guard who shot me. “Even if there was one of Chernobog’s spawn present, why did you not follow protocol and sound the alarm while they were still far off?” His eyes bear into the younger albanic still holding the man. “You weren’t doing your job, were you?”
The young albanic turns to look away from Finn while his partner is indignant. “Fuck you Finnigan! Bastards should’ve left me in charge instead. I’ve been doing this too long to be stuck on fucking gate duty.”
“Calm yourself or I’ll have you locked in the cells for the next week.”
He scoffs. “You can’t do that. This place can’t function if you lose any more veterans.”
“Sure I can. You three, take him to a cell. I’ll deal with this one.” He says and points a thumb at me.
“Wait, no. Stop!”
As they hurry to take him away, Finn calls after them. “And kid, don’t think I’ve forgotten the negligence of your duty.”
Finally free, Finn turns to me. “Y’know, it would have made my job so much easier last time if I’d known you weren’t albanic.”
“How so?” I ask.
“It’s a strange thing. I can lose a lot of social status simply talking to a dark-haired child, but it becomes a complete non-problem if that child isn’t albanic.” He shakes his head. “So, you’re an áed, right? Why come back here?”
“Yeah. I wanted to stop by and thank you for the risk you took helping me move to Kelton.”
“Kelton? Gavin didn’t take you to Serron?” he asks.
“No. He tossed me out of the caravan when found out how dark my hair was.”
Finn kicked at the stone beneath his feet. “That bastard. He owed me.” He glanced back at my still burning hair, reminding me to take control of myself again. “Like I said before, this would have all been solved if you hadn’t pretended to be one of us. It’s doubtful you could have integrated well in Zadok, but nobody would have stopped you moving to the northern states. We get the rare non-albanic trader through every now and then and they rarely have issue as far as I know. Well, as long as they’re not ursu.”
With those four other guards now out of sight, I realise that there really aren’t many others around. Last time the area within the fort was teeming with life, now it feels almost as empty as the ghost towns of New Vetus.
“Where is everyone?”
Finn looks around and sighs. “Our army was slaughtered in the invasion, barely a hundred returned. All the albicants in command of the fort fled, leaving the common guard to defend the border. Plenty of those deserted as well.” He shakes his head before continuing. “Come. I’ll get you something to drink while we talk out of the cold.”
I follow him to the barracks. “No drink, thanks. But I’ll have a snack if you’ve got anything.”
“Dwight! Man the gate,” Finn shouts across the courtyard before opening the door for me.
As I step through the threshold into the barracks, I’m overcome with a sudden inexplicable anxiety. My fingers tremble as I look around at the entrapping walls that seem far too close. Unsure why I feel this way, I take another step into the building, ignoring the tension in my chest.
The soft click of the door closing behind me changes everything. The trembling of my fingers spread to my entire body. Tightness in my chest grows until I’m choking, unable to breathe. I take in ragged gasps as my eyes flicker around me. Nothing has changed around me, but I can’t help the overwhelming fear of being trapped.
The brickwork walls are nothing but the bars of my cage. I’m trapped again. How did this happen? How am I here?
“Let me out! Let me out!” I slam my body against the door of this new cage, amplifying my heat until the handle and hinges melt under my assault.
I tumble out into open air again. On hands and knees, I scramble away from the cage they try to trap me in.
I flop onto my back and look up at the sky. Each breath is a struggle and I can’t get enough air with each pant. Numbness fills my limbs as they continue to shiver.
Soon, I get a hold of my breathing and my body stops trembling. It doesn’t feel real. This feels like a nightmare. The blue of the sky distracts me from everything around and I lose myself in the sight of the Eternal Inferno. The blazing orb in the sky seems so inviting and terrifying all at once.
“Solvei!” I finally realise my name has been called a few times now.
Finn is standing over me, keeping some distance, but his voice is worried and I can’t comprehend why.
“Solvei. You need to calm down and stop your fire.”
What? I look around and see myself, the front door of the barracks, and much of the ground between us engulfed in a golden flame. When did that happen? I quickly extinguish it all before anything else can burn.
Finn kneels beside me, but still hesitates to come too close. My gaze turns back to the door, realising for the first time that it’s no longer attached to the barracks. It takes a few more moments for me to truly comprehend what happened. I panicked? I felt more fear than ever and lost control.
It is humiliating. Quickly rising to my own knees, I look at the ground between Finn and I.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”
I don’t understand. Why did I react like that? I’ve been through so much already, shouldn’t I be immune to fear by now? Even looking back, I don’t really know what I was so scared of. I just felt a nonsensical terror of suffocation and entrapment.
“Are you okay? Have you calmed?” Finn asks.
I nod, unwilling to meet his eye through the embarrassment of the display.
“Come, let’s get you something to eat and a place to relax.”
It took me longer than learning to fly did, but my voice is finally recognisable through my beak. Strangely, the sound of my voice is entirely determined by the shape of my throat and mouth. It was easy to replace the bird throat with what felt more natural, but it became a bit of a problem trying to speak without a mouth and lips.
Of course, I tried switching my beak back with a mouth, but that made flying far too annoying. The beak is surprisingly good at cutting through the air. Instead, I had to change my throat and tongue over the course of a few days until I felt comfortable that my voice was mostly identical to normal.
I now also have the ability to make my voice incredibly high or low pitch too, so that’s fun. I might get a good scare out of someone one day. Leslie is definitely going to be my first target.
While I’m worried about how I might find the others, I’m far more excited about reuniting with them. I know where they were planning to go, so as long as they didn’t make any major deviations to their plan, I’d have a good starting place to search.
Amongst the northern states, there are two that border the Zadok Kingdom; the Kingdom of Joiak and the Vanguard. Joiak is a small nation that is supposed to have separated from Zadok a few generations ago. Supposedly, the kingdom doesn’t discriminate against those with darker hair. The Vanguard, on the other hand, is a nation with a well-known hatred for the Theocracy and is open to any immigrants that flee north.
That’s about the limit of what I know, but Ash and the others were heading to the Kingdom of Joiak last time we were together. It’s not much to go on, I know, but I’m feeling inexplicably confidant I will find them. If I can find where they’ve been, I can ask around if anyone has seen them.
After only a few days of flying — with proper nights of rest — I reach the river I’ve been looking for. I already assumed so considering it is ursu controlled land I’ve been passing these few days, but I am still glad it isn’t the sea that shows up before me. I may be able to fly now, but there isn’t a chance I’m going over such a large body of water.
The Wailing Woodland never appeared below me as I flew and only now do I realise it doesn’t span the border, as I mistakenly assumed. Really, I should have guessed, considering Zadok’s army marched south-east rather than directly south.
I wonder what happened to the Zadokans that attacked the ursu. There was no sight of them in the areas I passed, so I can’t imagine their invasion was successful. Did they retreat or were they slaughtered like the Henosis?
I look west up the river. There is no reason for me to pass the fort like last time. I can just glide over the river now, after all. But I want to see Finn again. I didn’t realise it at the time, but he put his job on the line to help me out when he did. The reaction when the others in the caravan thought I was a darker-haired albanic was telling.
I want to see him and while I might lose a bit of time catching up with Leslie and the others; I am already a month or so behind them. A quick detour will hardly matter.
My wings sweep me west. I’m heading back to the original route through Zadok.
It takes a day to reach the familiar fort built over the river. Surprisingly, I find no other forts along the river. There are a few watchtowers, but even they are sparse.
My talons press down within the grass and I have to pull back on the fire that tries to spread from my touch. I could have flown right into the fort, but it will take me almost fifteen minutes to change back and I’m not comfortable doing so around so many people.
I stand and walk toward the gate I passed only a few months ago. It feels like so much more time passed than reality. The building is the same, but even from a distance out I can tell there are nowhere near the number of guards manning the fort as before. There are none at the top of the walls and only two wait before me.
As I approach the final distance, the guards take longer than they probably should to notice me. Too busy talking between themselves to pay attention until I am right next to them.
“-ole just up and left. Ya think they’d notice if I took my vacation early?” I catch the end of their conversation.
I clear my throat. “Excuse me. Is Finn still around?”
The man who spoke flinches away from me with an “eek” while the other man looks me dead on with annoyed eyes.
The first guard turns and lifts his musket right in my face. My eyes narrow at the threat and I frown toward the frightened man, who takes a hurried step back, keeping his gun pointed right between my eyes.
I’m about to step forward and burn the damn weapon out of his hands before his partner beats me to it. He grabs the gun by its barrel and jerks it out of his hands.
“I knew you were incompetent, but I never would have guessed you’d hold your weapon at a child.”
“Oi! Give that back!”
The guard that snatched the weapon doesn’t, instead he turns to me and narrows his brows.
“What’s a child doing out here all alone anyway? Where did you come from?” his eyes flicker over my jacket, which is obviously too large for even an adult albanic and to my hair.
I guess I can understand his suspicions better than the last time I came through. This time though, I don’t have any intention of hiding what I am.
My hair engulfs in a bright orange fire. I want them to know what I am, but there is no need to go against the standards of my tribe too much. Just enough that they’ll know my hair colour doesn’t matter.
I’m successful in removing his suspicions. Unfortunately, it is replaced with hostility. He hefts his own gun right in the same position his partner did not a moment sooner.
Irritated, I send out a quick burst to incinerate the weapon in his hand. Too late. The bullet pierces right through my head before I can burn the gun out of his hands. I feel a slight tingle as the shrapnel piece passes through me, but I’m left otherwise unaffected.
He throws away the weapon he’s holding and lifts the one he snatched from the other guard. I didn’t leave that weapon alone though, the trigger already red hot by the time he lifts his weapon. A sizzling finger is all he’s left with as he jerks the second weapon away before even getting off a shot.
“Back off,” I growl.
My eyes flick to the first guard who stands there stunned, then back to the one who shot me. He’s already tried to kill me twice, once more, and I won’t be as forgiving.
I continue glaring and hold my ground as the man grabs at a knife on his belt.
“Hold! Stand down!” a familiar voice shouts, but the man before me doesn’t hear.
He is just about to make his last mistake. My flames roil, prepared to end his existence the moment he touches me. But he doesn’t reach me. His partner — the one who until now has done nothing but stand stiff after his own gun was snatched — grabs the albanic under the arms and pulls him away from me.
The man struggles against his restraint. “What are you doing? Let me go! Don’t you see one of Chernobog’s spawn right in front of you?”
Behind the two struggling guards, Finn and a couple of others run, wielding their own guns. He looks over me and I’m a bit disappointed he shows no recognition. I trust the situation will be handled properly now though, so I pull back on my primed fire, leaving only my hair aflame once again. That calms him and the guards beside him down enough that he turns his attention away from me.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing, firing against protocol?” Finn demands from the man still being restrained.
The guards flanking Finn watch me like hawks as he interrogates the guard.
“It’s one of Chernobog’s. Fuck protocol, it needs to die.”
Finn glances over at me. “I don’t remember fire ever being a part of Chernobog’s domain. Would that not fall under the category of light rather than darkness?” His eyes widen as he looks over me. “Wait, Solvei?”
I give him a small wave. It’s nice to know he remembers me.
Finn flicks his attention right back to the guard who shot me. “Even if there was one of Chernobog’s spawn present, why did you not follow protocol and sound the alarm while they were still far off?” His eyes bear into the younger albanic still holding the man. “You weren’t doing your job, were you?”
The young albanic turns to look away from Finn while his partner is indignant. “Fuck you Finnigan! Bastards should’ve left me in charge instead. I’ve been doing this too long to be stuck on fucking gate duty.”
“Calm yourself or I’ll have you locked in the cells for the next week.”
He scoffs. “You can’t do that. This place can’t function if you lose any more veterans.”
“Sure I can. You three, take him to a cell. I’ll deal with this one.” He says and points a thumb at me.
“Wait, no. Stop!”
As they hurry to take him away, Finn calls after them. “And kid, don’t think I’ve forgotten the negligence of your duty.”
Finally free, Finn turns to me. “Y’know, it would have made my job so much easier last time if I’d known you weren’t albanic.”
“How so?” I ask.
“It’s a strange thing. I can lose a lot of social status simply talking to a dark-haired child, but it becomes a complete non-problem if that child isn’t albanic.” He shakes his head. “So, you’re an áed, right? Why come back here?”
“Yeah. I wanted to stop by and thank you for the risk you took helping me move to Kelton.”
“Kelton? Gavin didn’t take you to Serron?” he asks.
“No. He tossed me out of the caravan when found out how dark my hair was.”
Finn kicked at the stone beneath his feet. “That bastard. He owed me.” He glanced back at my still burning hair, reminding me to take control of myself again. “Like I said before, this would have all been solved if you hadn’t pretended to be one of us. It’s doubtful you could have integrated well in Zadok, but nobody would have stopped you moving to the northern states. We get the rare non-albanic trader through every now and then and they rarely have issue as far as I know. Well, as long as they’re not ursu.”
With those four other guards now out of sight, I realise that there really aren’t many others around. Last time the area within the fort was teeming with life, now it feels almost as empty as the ghost towns of New Vetus.
“Where is everyone?”
Finn looks around and sighs. “Our army was slaughtered in the invasion, barely a hundred returned. All the albicants in command of the fort fled, leaving the common guard to defend the border. Plenty of those deserted as well.” He shakes his head before continuing. “Come. I’ll get you something to drink while we talk out of the cold.”
I follow him to the barracks. “No drink, thanks. But I’ll have a snack if you’ve got anything.”
“Dwight! Man the gate,” Finn shouts across the courtyard before opening the door for me.
As I step through the threshold into the barracks, I’m overcome with a sudden inexplicable anxiety. My fingers tremble as I look around at the entrapping walls that seem far too close. Unsure why I feel this way, I take another step into the building, ignoring the tension in my chest.
The soft click of the door closing behind me changes everything. The trembling of my fingers spread to my entire body. Tightness in my chest grows until I’m choking, unable to breathe. I take in ragged gasps as my eyes flicker around me. Nothing has changed around me, but I can’t help the overwhelming fear of being trapped.
The brickwork walls are nothing but the bars of my cage. I’m trapped again. How did this happen? How am I here?
“Let me out! Let me out!” I slam my body against the door of this new cage, amplifying my heat until the handle and hinges melt under my assault.
I tumble out into open air again. On hands and knees, I scramble away from the cage they try to trap me in.
I flop onto my back and look up at the sky. Each breath is a struggle and I can’t get enough air with each pant. Numbness fills my limbs as they continue to shiver.
Soon, I get a hold of my breathing and my body stops trembling. It doesn’t feel real. This feels like a nightmare. The blue of the sky distracts me from everything around and I lose myself in the sight of the Eternal Inferno. The blazing orb in the sky seems so inviting and terrifying all at once.
“Solvei!” I finally realise my name has been called a few times now.
Finn is standing over me, keeping some distance, but his voice is worried and I can’t comprehend why.
“Solvei. You need to calm down and stop your fire.”
What? I look around and see myself, the front door of the barracks, and much of the ground between us engulfed in a golden flame. When did that happen? I quickly extinguish it all before anything else can burn.
Finn kneels beside me, but still hesitates to come too close. My gaze turns back to the door, realising for the first time that it’s no longer attached to the barracks. It takes a few more moments for me to truly comprehend what happened. I panicked? I felt more fear than ever and lost control.
It is humiliating. Quickly rising to my own knees, I look at the ground between Finn and I.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”
I don’t understand. Why did I react like that? I’ve been through so much already, shouldn’t I be immune to fear by now? Even looking back, I don’t really know what I was so scared of. I just felt a nonsensical terror of suffocation and entrapment.
“Are you okay? Have you calmed?” Finn asks.
I nod, unwilling to meet his eye through the embarrassment of the display.
“Come, let’s get you something to eat and a place to relax.”
