Once we made it out of the twisting roads of Joiak, our path became far more direct. Good thing too, even though I’ve only been able to fly for two weeks now, going back to walking is nothing more than a pain.
“So, I should have probably asked this earlier, but where are we going?”
“Haven’t I said?” Remus asks. “We’re going to the Meja Matriarchy. It’s our group’s home and once your friends get settled in, you’ll be able to see them between jobs.”
“How far is that?”
“Well, it’s far, but it shouldn’t take long once we reach the train station. Really, it’s quite annoying that Joiak doesn’t allow passenger cars within their borders.”
Ah, so not long at all. I groan and look up at the sky. Why didn’t he tell us that sooner?
I catch movement from the corner of my eye. It looks like Jav is back with dinner. The small creature lugs behind him a fully grown deer. Even if I’ve seen it a few times before, it still looks odd to see him trying to carry something probably fifty times his weight. Well, maybe carry is the wrong word; Jav drags the deer along the ground, leaving a long trail of blood from wherever he killed it.
“Jav, why don’t you ever call for help? I’m sure some of us could carry it back much easier than this,” I ask.
He glares at me over the hoof in his grasp. “I don’t need help to get dinner sorted. Why don’t you mind your own business,” he says before going back to tugging.
I’m a bit put off by his response. Why is he so hostile? I just want to help.
“Don’t worry about him. He just gets cranky when people assume he can’t do something because of his size.” Remus walks up behind me.
“I do not!”
Remus chuckles as Jav cuts into the deer. Again, it looks odd because of his diminutive size. I’ve always been the smallest amongst any group of people, so it feels kinda strange to be on the other end now.
I leave him alone for now. Even as I watch him struggling to start a fire that I could have roaring in moments. He wants to do it all himself, right? It’s best I don’t butt in, no matter how slow his attempts to start a fire are.
I return to my friends, who are piling up their own stockpile of wood for a fire-pit. A sudden gust of wind brushes over us, making me shiver and amplify my heat. The others don’t look any better, each of them rubbing their hands together for warmth.
They look up at me expectantly as they sit around their gathered bundle of sticks. I consider playing dumb for a moment, but the cold is already making me burn through double the amount of food I’d usually need. I can’t imagine what it’d feel like for them; they have no way of heating themselves, after all.
Soon everyone is cramming around the warm campfire. I’m really glad for the bountiful resources around, there’s no way I could have kept moving like this through the lowering temperatures if this was the wasteland.
I hope this winter doesn’t last long.
As I look over my friends, I realise I forgot about someone.
“Hey, what happened to that woman who led you to Joiak? What was her name? Ivory?”
“After all that happened with the Void Fog, she sent us north on our own. I can’t blame her though, she had family lost to the Fog. She wanted to continue looking for them,” Ash says over his shoulder but doesn’t move away from the heat.
“Oh, right. We were staying in her cousin’s backyard, weren’t we,” I murmur. How was I so lucky to escape and receive help when uncountable others died within its grasp? Even those who escape the Fog are twisted beyond recognition.
Against the Void Fog. Against the Titan. Is there even anything someone can do other than hope for survival when such otherworldly disasters strike? Will I ever be strong enough that such events no longer worry me? Or will I always be trapped by the endless fear that an incomprehensible disaster is waiting right around the corner to devastate me and all I care for?
Even taking Remus’ deal, will it be possible to gain the strength to fight off such nightmarish existences? Existences that can annihilate the world around them without notice.
No. It will never be possible. I can’t even conceptualise ever contesting Hund’s strength, no matter how much I think I can grow. But does that matter? There will always be something greater, something that can terrify regardless of your strength. But if I never put in the effort, I’ll never be able to fight for the things I want when they are within my power to take.
It is impossible to advance to where nothing can entrap me. But if I don’t push forward, I’ll be trapped in a world of my own fears. If I don’t grow, I’ll never be able to escape the paranoia of the intent of those around, never able to freely exist amongst those I want to consider family.
It’s something I’ve been worrying about; I might have to leave my friends behind if I want to join this mercenary group. They’ll hardly be able to follow me and there is no guarantee I’ll get to see them often. Remus has been rather casual about it, but the areas we will go and the creatures we’ll face are not something to be taken so carelessly. The bird from the Wailing Woodland, the colossal-worms and so many other creatures I’ve seen come nowhere near the strength of the Titans, yet they pose a great danger by themselves.
If I hadn’t been gifted with such a perfect means of escape by the Void Fog, I never would have considered joining them. Even if Remus had thought I was capable without my ethereal-flame defence. But I have the capability. Maybe it’s arrogance, but I now feel like nothing can hold me. Even if I know it is false, the feeling permeates my being. I want, no, I need to spread, like the growing cinders of an incipient fire. Intensifying my flames until they can no longer be extinguished is something I truly want.
I look over at the five I’ve grown close enough to call my friends. They huddle together, chatting around the fire. I think of Leal, my first friend outside of my tribe. How might she be doing? Now that New Vetus is taking back lost ground, is she and her mum doing better? Will I ever be able to see them again?
I now have new people to live for, but simply living isn’t enough. I don’t want to have them taken from me like my tribe was.
As I am now, I can protect myself. I can escape most things that might do me harm. But my friends don’t, and I don’t have the strength to protect them. If I lose any of them, I have no way of finding them. Should they be trapped — like they were by the owner of that mill — they have no way of escaping.
I need to be strong enough that I can stop that. I need to be capable enough to find them, to find Leal again.
I can only do that if I press forward. Consuming the general has opened my eyes to how much strength can be gained by felling the strong. I’m certain his death and Teine’s sacrifice are the only reason I’m already able to burn through iron.
If Remus and Jav hadn’t appeared, I would have decided on the same course. I simply now have someone to direct me, rather than an unguided search for beasts to hunt.
I should enjoy the little time I have left with them before we have to go our separate ways.
“Not long now and you can meet the team. Our place is just a bit further down the road,” Remus declares as he points with one of his long, boneless limbs down the path breaching the thick forest vegetation.
We had not long left the fortress Baansguard. From the outside, it doesn’t look like much. Reminiscent of a large slab of stone or maybe a small mountain. It was only once you entered its core that you could see the true magnificence of the city within.
A large central area of open space inside gave a perfect view of the layers in which hundreds of thousands of people lived. Carved into the rock were large platforms that hold innumerable buildings. The ceiling visible above the large space in the centre of this huge fortress glowed bright like the sun, the heat it gave off felt similar too.
I struggled a lot in the city, and I refused to leave the central area where I had a clear view through the ten metre tall tunnel leading directly out. As long as I had a clear view to the outside, I could hold in the anxiety about being trapped. But it still made my goodbyes with my friends frustrating.
Thankfully, they seemed to settle into their newly given lodgings rather easily. It was some building with a bunch of other teenagers. A trade school, Remus had called it. They would be taught a profession, along with the other orphaned kids.
I am satisfied that they will be treated well, but I’ll only truly know for sure when I next meet my friends.
The long tunnel out of the city had been a rather long walk. There had to be somewhere near two hundred metres of stone separating the city from the outside world in every direction. It really couldn’t be considered anything but a fortress. What exactly did they expect to need to protect the city from?
As we left the city, I’d asked if I should fly so Remus could move at a faster pace. I’d seen him move in our spar. There’s no way this was his normal travelling speed. But he seemed content enough to continue at the slow clip, so I reluctantly followed by his side.
Two hours of walking from Baansguard and only now are we getting close. If I’d flown, I could have been here in ten minutes. No, maybe even five.
Baansguard is the farthest west city in the Meja Matriarchy and also one of the closest dwelling of the sentient races to the Titan Alps.
There is no way you could miss the mountains here.
It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, from the western edges of the wasteland to the southern portion of New Vetus; the mountains are always visible. Most of the time, they are a part of the background. Like the moon during the day; always there, but only paid attention to for directions.
Not here, though. We are so close that a quarter of the sky is dominated by the very heights. No longer are the mountains dimmed by distance, their feet are right before us.
There is a reason they are called the Titan Alps. Like the Titans are incomprehensible beings thousands of times larger than normal creatures, these alps dwarf all mountains as if they are nothing more than pebbles.
Any gap in the canopy, the Alps remain visible. Ever looming over all.
Soon, we enter a clearing and Jav throws himself off Remus’ head, the wings of his suit gliding him through the open window of a wooden cabin built in the centre of the section of forest-free land. A large verandah extends out of the other side from where Jav flew in through, furnished with couches, tables and an entire outdoor kitchen.
“Bloody rat! Use the front door!” a voice shouts from within the cabin.
I look up at Remus beside me, his eyes grin back at me. “Well, it’s time to introduce you to the team.”
Once we made it out of the twisting roads of Joiak, our path became far more direct. Good thing too, even though I’ve only been able to fly for two weeks now, going back to walking is nothing more than a pain.
“So, I should have probably asked this earlier, but where are we going?”
“Haven’t I said?” Remus asks. “We’re going to the Meja Matriarchy. It’s our group’s home and once your friends get settled in, you’ll be able to see them between jobs.”
“How far is that?”
“Well, it’s far, but it shouldn’t take long once we reach the train station. Really, it’s quite annoying that Joiak doesn’t allow passenger cars within their borders.”
Ah, so not long at all. I groan and look up at the sky. Why didn’t he tell us that sooner?
I catch movement from the corner of my eye. It looks like Jav is back with dinner. The small creature lugs behind him a fully grown deer. Even if I’ve seen it a few times before, it still looks odd to see him trying to carry something probably fifty times his weight. Well, maybe carry is the wrong word; Jav drags the deer along the ground, leaving a long trail of blood from wherever he killed it.
“Jav, why don’t you ever call for help? I’m sure some of us could carry it back much easier than this,” I ask.
He glares at me over the hoof in his grasp. “I don’t need help to get dinner sorted. Why don’t you mind your own business,” he says before going back to tugging.
I’m a bit put off by his response. Why is he so hostile? I just want to help.
“Don’t worry about him. He just gets cranky when people assume he can’t do something because of his size.” Remus walks up behind me.
“I do not!”
Remus chuckles as Jav cuts into the deer. Again, it looks odd because of his diminutive size. I’ve always been the smallest amongst any group of people, so it feels kinda strange to be on the other end now.
I leave him alone for now. Even as I watch him struggling to start a fire that I could have roaring in moments. He wants to do it all himself, right? It’s best I don’t butt in, no matter how slow his attempts to start a fire are.
I return to my friends, who are piling up their own stockpile of wood for a fire-pit. A sudden gust of wind brushes over us, making me shiver and amplify my heat. The others don’t look any better, each of them rubbing their hands together for warmth.
They look up at me expectantly as they sit around their gathered bundle of sticks. I consider playing dumb for a moment, but the cold is already making me burn through double the amount of food I’d usually need. I can’t imagine what it’d feel like for them; they have no way of heating themselves, after all.
Soon everyone is cramming around the warm campfire. I’m really glad for the bountiful resources around, there’s no way I could have kept moving like this through the lowering temperatures if this was the wasteland.
I hope this winter doesn’t last long.
As I look over my friends, I realise I forgot about someone.
“Hey, what happened to that woman who led you to Joiak? What was her name? Ivory?”
“After all that happened with the Void Fog, she sent us north on our own. I can’t blame her though, she had family lost to the Fog. She wanted to continue looking for them,” Ash says over his shoulder but doesn’t move away from the heat.
“Oh, right. We were staying in her cousin’s backyard, weren’t we,” I murmur. How was I so lucky to escape and receive help when uncountable others died within its grasp? Even those who escape the Fog are twisted beyond recognition.
Against the Void Fog. Against the Titan. Is there even anything someone can do other than hope for survival when such otherworldly disasters strike? Will I ever be strong enough that such events no longer worry me? Or will I always be trapped by the endless fear that an incomprehensible disaster is waiting right around the corner to devastate me and all I care for?
Even taking Remus’ deal, will it be possible to gain the strength to fight off such nightmarish existences? Existences that can annihilate the world around them without notice.
No. It will never be possible. I can’t even conceptualise ever contesting Hund’s strength, no matter how much I think I can grow. But does that matter? There will always be something greater, something that can terrify regardless of your strength. But if I never put in the effort, I’ll never be able to fight for the things I want when they are within my power to take.
It is impossible to advance to where nothing can entrap me. But if I don’t push forward, I’ll be trapped in a world of my own fears. If I don’t grow, I’ll never be able to escape the paranoia of the intent of those around, never able to freely exist amongst those I want to consider family.
It’s something I’ve been worrying about; I might have to leave my friends behind if I want to join this mercenary group. They’ll hardly be able to follow me and there is no guarantee I’ll get to see them often. Remus has been rather casual about it, but the areas we will go and the creatures we’ll face are not something to be taken so carelessly. The bird from the Wailing Woodland, the colossal-worms and so many other creatures I’ve seen come nowhere near the strength of the Titans, yet they pose a great danger by themselves.
If I hadn’t been gifted with such a perfect means of escape by the Void Fog, I never would have considered joining them. Even if Remus had thought I was capable without my ethereal-flame defence. But I have the capability. Maybe it’s arrogance, but I now feel like nothing can hold me. Even if I know it is false, the feeling permeates my being. I want, no, I need to spread, like the growing cinders of an incipient fire. Intensifying my flames until they can no longer be extinguished is something I truly want.
I look over at the five I’ve grown close enough to call my friends. They huddle together, chatting around the fire. I think of Leal, my first friend outside of my tribe. How might she be doing? Now that New Vetus is taking back lost ground, is she and her mum doing better? Will I ever be able to see them again?
I now have new people to live for, but simply living isn’t enough. I don’t want to have them taken from me like my tribe was.
As I am now, I can protect myself. I can escape most things that might do me harm. But my friends don’t, and I don’t have the strength to protect them. If I lose any of them, I have no way of finding them. Should they be trapped — like they were by the owner of that mill — they have no way of escaping.
I need to be strong enough that I can stop that. I need to be capable enough to find them, to find Leal again.
I can only do that if I press forward. Consuming the general has opened my eyes to how much strength can be gained by felling the strong. I’m certain his death and Teine’s sacrifice are the only reason I’m already able to burn through iron.
If Remus and Jav hadn’t appeared, I would have decided on the same course. I simply now have someone to direct me, rather than an unguided search for beasts to hunt.
I should enjoy the little time I have left with them before we have to go our separate ways.
“Not long now and you can meet the team. Our place is just a bit further down the road,” Remus declares as he points with one of his long, boneless limbs down the path breaching the thick forest vegetation.
We had not long left the fortress Baansguard. From the outside, it doesn’t look like much. Reminiscent of a large slab of stone or maybe a small mountain. It was only once you entered its core that you could see the true magnificence of the city within.
A large central area of open space inside gave a perfect view of the layers in which hundreds of thousands of people lived. Carved into the rock were large platforms that hold innumerable buildings. The ceiling visible above the large space in the centre of this huge fortress glowed bright like the sun, the heat it gave off felt similar too.
I struggled a lot in the city, and I refused to leave the central area where I had a clear view through the ten metre tall tunnel leading directly out. As long as I had a clear view to the outside, I could hold in the anxiety about being trapped. But it still made my goodbyes with my friends frustrating.
Thankfully, they seemed to settle into their newly given lodgings rather easily. It was some building with a bunch of other teenagers. A trade school, Remus had called it. They would be taught a profession, along with the other orphaned kids.
I am satisfied that they will be treated well, but I’ll only truly know for sure when I next meet my friends.
The long tunnel out of the city had been a rather long walk. There had to be somewhere near two hundred metres of stone separating the city from the outside world in every direction. It really couldn’t be considered anything but a fortress. What exactly did they expect to need to protect the city from?
As we left the city, I’d asked if I should fly so Remus could move at a faster pace. I’d seen him move in our spar. There’s no way this was his normal travelling speed. But he seemed content enough to continue at the slow clip, so I reluctantly followed by his side.
Two hours of walking from Baansguard and only now are we getting close. If I’d flown, I could have been here in ten minutes. No, maybe even five.
Baansguard is the farthest west city in the Meja Matriarchy and also one of the closest dwelling of the sentient races to the Titan Alps.
There is no way you could miss the mountains here.
It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, from the western edges of the wasteland to the southern portion of New Vetus; the mountains are always visible. Most of the time, they are a part of the background. Like the moon during the day; always there, but only paid attention to for directions.
Not here, though. We are so close that a quarter of the sky is dominated by the very heights. No longer are the mountains dimmed by distance, their feet are right before us.
There is a reason they are called the Titan Alps. Like the Titans are incomprehensible beings thousands of times larger than normal creatures, these alps dwarf all mountains as if they are nothing more than pebbles.
Any gap in the canopy, the Alps remain visible. Ever looming over all.
Soon, we enter a clearing and Jav throws himself off Remus’ head, the wings of his suit gliding him through the open window of a wooden cabin built in the centre of the section of forest-free land. A large verandah extends out of the other side from where Jav flew in through, furnished with couches, tables and an entire outdoor kitchen.
“Bloody rat! Use the front door!” a voice shouts from within the cabin.
I look up at Remus beside me, his eyes grin back at me. “Well, it’s time to introduce you to the team.”
