Pain.
That’s the first thing I notice through my cloudy thoughts.
My body aches and screams for me to return to the void of nothingness. But a part of my mind lashes out, refusing to stay still any longer. I feel like I’m being pulled at both ends; stretched to my limit.
It’s hard to think through the intense migraine, and my body refuses to move when I try to open my eyes.
I’m familiar with this feeling. I haven’t felt it in years, and I’d hoped never to again, but it looks like the cold has been too much for me.
I can feel the thump of Grímr’s footfalls through his back. We must still be travelling, then. I wonder if we’ve gotten close to the Middle Elevation yet?
Sudden memories of Tetsu forcing me into the entrapping grasp of the underground tunnels slam into me. My mind forces my eyes open, ignoring my body’s resistance. The smooth grey ceiling confirms my greatest fear and I jerk, trying to escape. A pained gasp leaves my throat, but that seems to be all I can do. My body is exhausted and refuses to move when I command it.
The tension through my limbs amplifies the aches of sickness. My body shakes involuntarily and I try my hardest to force a reaction. Anything that might get me an escape. I spread my flames, but they flicker and die, refusing my commands.
I’m running on fumes, I realise. All the energy I had is gone. Now, I barely have enough to survive and my body won’t let me kill myself anymore.
But… but trapped down here as I am, I might as well be dead. I try to roll over, to open my hands or send out my flames, but nothing does as I want. I choke and struggle to breathe from my desperate attempt to move.
“Solvei, you need to calm down. It’s alright. You’re not in danger.” I hear a voice. Grímr? I can’t tell. There’s too much haze over my mind. It’s hard to think straight.
With enough struggle, I eventually twist to my side. I pant and try to catch my breath, but I can now see the cavern is long. I can’t see the end, but the walls aren’t closing in on me. It’s too much effort to turn my head, but in each direction I see, the cave doesn’t end.
Somehow, I slow my breathing, but my body still shakes from the pain and fear.
“Solvei, you are not trapped. Calm down and regain yourself.”
Remus is in front of me now. He wants me to calm down? Doesn’t he realise how horrifying this situation is? If I don’t do everything I can to get out, then…
Then what? I don’t really know what happens then, but I know it is bad. Terrifyingly bad. Why doesn’t he understand that?
“I know this is hard, but you have to try and work through this. You will never overcome your fear if you let it overwhelm you.”
I try to deny him, to shake my head or tell him that being confined like this is the worst thing imaginable, but I can’t even manage that.
My migraine intensifies. I can’t fight off the growing darkness any longer.
I awake again, this time without the haze over my mind. The body tremors start as soon as I realise where I am, but I can at least think straight.
My body is still resistant to what I tell it, but I can open my eyes. We are still travelling under the ceiling of grey stone. I gasp for breath and feel a writhing compression in my chest.
I’m about to struggle again, to push my flames out and try my hardest to find any way out, when my head is grasped in two firm hands. My head is tilted up to face Tetsu.
“Get a hold of yourself,” she snaps. “There is nothing for you to fear. There’s no reason we can’t make our way out. You are not trapped.”
For a moment, I’m stunned. She was the one who brought me down here. She forced me into this situation. It was Tetsu who trapped me and she has the nerve to yell at me?
A well of anger bubbles within me. I glare at her with all the spite I suddenly feel. She betrayed my trust. I told her my fear, and she abuses it.
“How could you?” I try to demand, but my voice is barely audible to my own ears.
She hesitates, visibly backing away from me. Remus jumps in before she can answer.
“Don’t blame her. It was my idea,” he says. “I thought it would help you face your fear.”
I narrow my eyes at him before looking up at Jav, who turns away from my gaze.
“Were you all okay with this?” I ask incredulously.
“Grímr wasn’t.”
I feel a low growl underneath me.
My chest burns, but I don’t know whether it’s the overwhelming fear, the sickness permeating my body, or the betrayal I feel.
“I trusted you.” I twist my head away from them as far as the aches will let me.
“It worked, didn’t it? In your anger, you ignored that fear,” Jav says.
Is that what he thinks? I’m not trembling in fear while I rage at them? No, I wish that were how it was, but I just don’t have the energy to scream and thrash despite how much I feel I should be.
It’ll tear me apart if I continue to focus on these emotions. They’ve betrayed me, but Grímr didn’t. I focus on that. Grímr is still on my side, even if the others might not be. His fur is warm under me and I take comfort in the proximity. As much comfort as I can manage while my body writhes in anxiety.
I focus on my breathing, pulling my mind into myself to keep my eyes away from the stony cavern. It’s all I can manage not to scream. I know, logically, that this is unreasonable. Just because I’m in an enclosed space doesn’t mean there isn’t a way out.
“Can we leave?” I plead into Grímr’s back, only loud enough for the panther himself to hear.
“I’m sorry. I want to as well, but I need you to hold in there.”
Even the only one I can trust won’t help me. I force my eyes closed and try to relax enough to fall asleep. Hopefully, by the time I wake, we’ll be out.
…
I can’t sleep.
The tension continues to strangle me every time I think about where I am. Nothing I do can remove it from my mind. I focus on the thuds shaking through Grímr’s chest, the faint beats that come every few seconds, and the repetitive lifting and falling underneath me. Anything that can distract me, I latch onto.
We better not be down here long.
We’ve been down here so long.
Without the light of the Eternal Inferno, I have no way to tell how long has passed, but it must be days. The pressure squeezing me never gets better, but somehow, I push through. My exhaustion recedes enough that I can move my arms and flames again. It is incredibly difficult to hold myself back from lashing out again, but I manage. I don’t want to be stuck unable to move my body again.
While some of my energy is back, my sickness pounds me as intensely as before. Through the dizziness I sometimes hear the team speaking, but it’s been mostly incomprehensible through my headache until now.
I have some strength back, but I keep my head firmly in the fur before me. I’m in control of myself now, but who knows what might happen when I look at the walls enclosing me once more. I’d really rather not lose myself to another panic attack.
I can hear the others arguing now, their raised voices flaring my migraine. The most that filters through my foggy thoughts is that they can’t decide where to go. Some change must have happened and now there is conflict on our path going forward.
I refuse to lift my head, so I can’t know what has changed. Whether it’s a change in the landscape or some monster, I don’t know.
They soon settle down though, to the relief of my psyche.
Time passes in thankful quiet. Except for the occasional sound of some unfortunate creature being crushed, the journey is about as pleasant as I can hope for. I feel horrible and my body fights against me at every moment, but I’m able to close myself away in my tiny world on Grímr’s back that definitely is not trapped under the earth.
It hasn’t worked yet, but if I keep telling myself we are running along the open mountains with sunlight bearing down on us from above, I’m sure I’ll eventually calm down.
I feel something touch my back before I hear a voice.
“Solvei.” I can’t tell if it’s Jav or Remus, my mind slow to recognise the voice in its lethargic state. “You are doing great. You’ve held on for so long. I need you to work with us here, alright? I need you to open your eyes.”
I shake my head with vigour, only to worsen my migraine. There’s no way I can do that. It’ll make everything worse again; I won’t be able to think past the fear.
“If you can’t do that, please hide your fire. Just for a bit, okay?” I can pinpoint the voice as Remus’ now.
I’m not controlling my flame? A flush of embarrassment runs through me as I feel them out in the open without even realising. The feeling is muted against the pain and tension consuming my body.
I consider for a moment to keep myself as I am, simply to spite Remus after he put me in this position. But doing so would be going against my tribe for the sake of an inconsequential defiance.
I don’t reply, but I force my body back until it’s physical enough to hide my flames.
“Thank you,” he says before I hear him scuttling off.
All is quiet for the next few minutes. Quieter even, than it has been for a while. Their steps are near silent. Only what I assume is Tetsu’s footsteps can be heard, but even they are muffled. Despite his size, Grímr can be deadly silent.
What are they doing? Why are they sneaking?
I’m answered by a deep growl rumbling along the cavern and through my chest. It isn’t loud, but it shakes the cave regardless. An intense presence screaming its power to the world. If I hadn’t already been ensnared in anxiety, I’m sure the terror of this familiar feeling would engulf me.
Only two beings have ever made me feel like this. A presence so intimidatingly absolute that even as my eyes snap open for the first time in days, I am frozen. My body screams to escape my confines once more, but a deeper, more primal part of me refuses to move.
In the darkness, I can barely make out the team members huddling close together. Everything is silent. Nobody makes a noise, nor is there any sound from what caused that growl.
As the seconds tick by, I wonder if it has left. Whatever it was, gave me the same instinctual terror as Hund. A similar all-encompassing sensation to the Titan.
Without warning, the cavern rumbles.
I hold tight to Grímr as an earsplitting bang rips through us. A heavy grinding joins the clamour of rocks falling to the ground of the cavern. Something big is scraping against the stone ahead of us.
None of us dare move. The grinding quietens until all I can hear is tapping. The sound you would expect from hitting stone with a metal pole. It echoes along the low ceiling without rhythm.
We all shrink away from the noise, hoping the source won’t notice us.
The tapping stops. The sound of something massive grinding and tearing apart the stone returns, but only for a short time until it quietens again. A wet splattering noise replaces it. Hardly even audible after the intense noise of rock being pulverised.
Minutes pass as the sound continues. I look to my side, wondering if any of the others are planning to move away yet. It’s nearly impossible to see them with how dark it is, but from what I can see, none dare move a muscle. Even Tetsu, who I’d assume would charge in to a challenging fight without restraint, remains frozen. Her eyes glued to the origin of unsettling noises hidden in the dark.
The wet noises eventually stop, only for both the tapping and grinding to return as whatever is before us moves away.
I’d probably feel relieved if I was anywhere but in this cavern. The rest of the team doesn’t have the same reservations. Each of them lets out a breath and their bodies loosen as the tension leaves them. I watch as Remus flops down onto the ground, his limbs spread wide around him. A touch of envy mixes with the tension I still feel. Even with the fear of that monstrosity gone, my terror of this simple enclosed space still has its grasp on me.
I’ve been doing well. Maybe it was the instinctual feeling that forced me to freeze, but even with the creature gone, my panic doesn’t escalate more than I can manage. I don’t strike out randomly at my surroundings.
“I guess we now know how that other hole was made.” Jav’s voice echoes from ahead of me.
The beast only just left. Why is he over there already? Does he want to bring it back? Against my wishes, Grímr approaches the volan. As we get closer, I spot him through the darkness looking down at the ground before him.
Grímr stops by Jav’s side and only then do I realise what he’s talking about. Before us, a massive section of the stone floor is gone. But instead of another tunnel, it drops into another cavern a hundred metres below. A blue glow carpets the cavern below us, its dim light hardly enough to make out anything in the area below us.
The biggest shock is that the stone under our feet isn’t half a metre thick. Assuming what I can see on the other end of the hole before us continues on our side, we’ve been wandering over this massive cavern without knowing.
“Solvei, sorry to ask after everything, but could you give us some light?” Remus stops beside us.
I almost refuse, but he’s not looking down with the rest of us. His eyes are locked on the ceiling ahead of us.
Begrudgingly, I do as asked. The light from my arms is enough to light up everything before us. A hundred white orbs the size of my arm stick to the ceiling with a slick paste.
Are they eggs?
Pain.
That’s the first thing I notice through my cloudy thoughts.
My body aches and screams for me to return to the void of nothingness. But a part of my mind lashes out, refusing to stay still any longer. I feel like I’m being pulled at both ends; stretched to my limit.
It’s hard to think through the intense migraine, and my body refuses to move when I try to open my eyes.
I’m familiar with this feeling. I haven’t felt it in years, and I’d hoped never to again, but it looks like the cold has been too much for me.
I can feel the thump of Grímr’s footfalls through his back. We must still be travelling, then. I wonder if we’ve gotten close to the Middle Elevation yet?
Sudden memories of Tetsu forcing me into the entrapping grasp of the underground tunnels slam into me. My mind forces my eyes open, ignoring my body’s resistance. The smooth grey ceiling confirms my greatest fear and I jerk, trying to escape. A pained gasp leaves my throat, but that seems to be all I can do. My body is exhausted and refuses to move when I command it.
The tension through my limbs amplifies the aches of sickness. My body shakes involuntarily and I try my hardest to force a reaction. Anything that might get me an escape. I spread my flames, but they flicker and die, refusing my commands.
I’m running on fumes, I realise. All the energy I had is gone. Now, I barely have enough to survive and my body won’t let me kill myself anymore.
But… but trapped down here as I am, I might as well be dead. I try to roll over, to open my hands or send out my flames, but nothing does as I want. I choke and struggle to breathe from my desperate attempt to move.
“Solvei, you need to calm down. It’s alright. You’re not in danger.” I hear a voice. Grímr? I can’t tell. There’s too much haze over my mind. It’s hard to think straight.
With enough struggle, I eventually twist to my side. I pant and try to catch my breath, but I can now see the cavern is long. I can’t see the end, but the walls aren’t closing in on me. It’s too much effort to turn my head, but in each direction I see, the cave doesn’t end.
Somehow, I slow my breathing, but my body still shakes from the pain and fear.
“Solvei, you are not trapped. Calm down and regain yourself.”
Remus is in front of me now. He wants me to calm down? Doesn’t he realise how horrifying this situation is? If I don’t do everything I can to get out, then…
Then what? I don’t really know what happens then, but I know it is bad. Terrifyingly bad. Why doesn’t he understand that?
“I know this is hard, but you have to try and work through this. You will never overcome your fear if you let it overwhelm you.”
I try to deny him, to shake my head or tell him that being confined like this is the worst thing imaginable, but I can’t even manage that.
My migraine intensifies. I can’t fight off the growing darkness any longer.
I awake again, this time without the haze over my mind. The body tremors start as soon as I realise where I am, but I can at least think straight.
My body is still resistant to what I tell it, but I can open my eyes. We are still travelling under the ceiling of grey stone. I gasp for breath and feel a writhing compression in my chest.
I’m about to struggle again, to push my flames out and try my hardest to find any way out, when my head is grasped in two firm hands. My head is tilted up to face Tetsu.
“Get a hold of yourself,” she snaps. “There is nothing for you to fear. There’s no reason we can’t make our way out. You are not trapped.”
For a moment, I’m stunned. She was the one who brought me down here. She forced me into this situation. It was Tetsu who trapped me and she has the nerve to yell at me?
A well of anger bubbles within me. I glare at her with all the spite I suddenly feel. She betrayed my trust. I told her my fear, and she abuses it.
“How could you?” I try to demand, but my voice is barely audible to my own ears.
She hesitates, visibly backing away from me. Remus jumps in before she can answer.
“Don’t blame her. It was my idea,” he says. “I thought it would help you face your fear.”
I narrow my eyes at him before looking up at Jav, who turns away from my gaze.
“Were you all okay with this?” I ask incredulously.
“Grímr wasn’t.”
I feel a low growl underneath me.
My chest burns, but I don’t know whether it’s the overwhelming fear, the sickness permeating my body, or the betrayal I feel.
“I trusted you.” I twist my head away from them as far as the aches will let me.
“It worked, didn’t it? In your anger, you ignored that fear,” Jav says.
Is that what he thinks? I’m not trembling in fear while I rage at them? No, I wish that were how it was, but I just don’t have the energy to scream and thrash despite how much I feel I should be.
It’ll tear me apart if I continue to focus on these emotions. They’ve betrayed me, but Grímr didn’t. I focus on that. Grímr is still on my side, even if the others might not be. His fur is warm under me and I take comfort in the proximity. As much comfort as I can manage while my body writhes in anxiety.
I focus on my breathing, pulling my mind into myself to keep my eyes away from the stony cavern. It’s all I can manage not to scream. I know, logically, that this is unreasonable. Just because I’m in an enclosed space doesn’t mean there isn’t a way out.
“Can we leave?” I plead into Grímr’s back, only loud enough for the panther himself to hear.
“I’m sorry. I want to as well, but I need you to hold in there.”
Even the only one I can trust won’t help me. I force my eyes closed and try to relax enough to fall asleep. Hopefully, by the time I wake, we’ll be out.
…
I can’t sleep.
The tension continues to strangle me every time I think about where I am. Nothing I do can remove it from my mind. I focus on the thuds shaking through Grímr’s chest, the faint beats that come every few seconds, and the repetitive lifting and falling underneath me. Anything that can distract me, I latch onto.
We better not be down here long.
We’ve been down here so long.
Without the light of the Eternal Inferno, I have no way to tell how long has passed, but it must be days. The pressure squeezing me never gets better, but somehow, I push through. My exhaustion recedes enough that I can move my arms and flames again. It is incredibly difficult to hold myself back from lashing out again, but I manage. I don’t want to be stuck unable to move my body again.
While some of my energy is back, my sickness pounds me as intensely as before. Through the dizziness I sometimes hear the team speaking, but it’s been mostly incomprehensible through my headache until now.
I have some strength back, but I keep my head firmly in the fur before me. I’m in control of myself now, but who knows what might happen when I look at the walls enclosing me once more. I’d really rather not lose myself to another panic attack.
I can hear the others arguing now, their raised voices flaring my migraine. The most that filters through my foggy thoughts is that they can’t decide where to go. Some change must have happened and now there is conflict on our path going forward.
I refuse to lift my head, so I can’t know what has changed. Whether it’s a change in the landscape or some monster, I don’t know.
They soon settle down though, to the relief of my psyche.
Time passes in thankful quiet. Except for the occasional sound of some unfortunate creature being crushed, the journey is about as pleasant as I can hope for. I feel horrible and my body fights against me at every moment, but I’m able to close myself away in my tiny world on Grímr’s back that definitely is not trapped under the earth.
It hasn’t worked yet, but if I keep telling myself we are running along the open mountains with sunlight bearing down on us from above, I’m sure I’ll eventually calm down.
I feel something touch my back before I hear a voice.
“Solvei.” I can’t tell if it’s Jav or Remus, my mind slow to recognise the voice in its lethargic state. “You are doing great. You’ve held on for so long. I need you to work with us here, alright? I need you to open your eyes.”
I shake my head with vigour, only to worsen my migraine. There’s no way I can do that. It’ll make everything worse again; I won’t be able to think past the fear.
“If you can’t do that, please hide your fire. Just for a bit, okay?” I can pinpoint the voice as Remus’ now.
I’m not controlling my flame? A flush of embarrassment runs through me as I feel them out in the open without even realising. The feeling is muted against the pain and tension consuming my body.
I consider for a moment to keep myself as I am, simply to spite Remus after he put me in this position. But doing so would be going against my tribe for the sake of an inconsequential defiance.
I don’t reply, but I force my body back until it’s physical enough to hide my flames.
“Thank you,” he says before I hear him scuttling off.
All is quiet for the next few minutes. Quieter even, than it has been for a while. Their steps are near silent. Only what I assume is Tetsu’s footsteps can be heard, but even they are muffled. Despite his size, Grímr can be deadly silent.
What are they doing? Why are they sneaking?
I’m answered by a deep growl rumbling along the cavern and through my chest. It isn’t loud, but it shakes the cave regardless. An intense presence screaming its power to the world. If I hadn’t already been ensnared in anxiety, I’m sure the terror of this familiar feeling would engulf me.
Only two beings have ever made me feel like this. A presence so intimidatingly absolute that even as my eyes snap open for the first time in days, I am frozen. My body screams to escape my confines once more, but a deeper, more primal part of me refuses to move.
In the darkness, I can barely make out the team members huddling close together. Everything is silent. Nobody makes a noise, nor is there any sound from what caused that growl.
As the seconds tick by, I wonder if it has left. Whatever it was, gave me the same instinctual terror as Hund. A similar all-encompassing sensation to the Titan.
Without warning, the cavern rumbles.
I hold tight to Grímr as an earsplitting bang rips through us. A heavy grinding joins the clamour of rocks falling to the ground of the cavern. Something big is scraping against the stone ahead of us.
None of us dare move. The grinding quietens until all I can hear is tapping. The sound you would expect from hitting stone with a metal pole. It echoes along the low ceiling without rhythm.
We all shrink away from the noise, hoping the source won’t notice us.
The tapping stops. The sound of something massive grinding and tearing apart the stone returns, but only for a short time until it quietens again. A wet splattering noise replaces it. Hardly even audible after the intense noise of rock being pulverised.
Minutes pass as the sound continues. I look to my side, wondering if any of the others are planning to move away yet. It’s nearly impossible to see them with how dark it is, but from what I can see, none dare move a muscle. Even Tetsu, who I’d assume would charge in to a challenging fight without restraint, remains frozen. Her eyes glued to the origin of unsettling noises hidden in the dark.
The wet noises eventually stop, only for both the tapping and grinding to return as whatever is before us moves away.
I’d probably feel relieved if I was anywhere but in this cavern. The rest of the team doesn’t have the same reservations. Each of them lets out a breath and their bodies loosen as the tension leaves them. I watch as Remus flops down onto the ground, his limbs spread wide around him. A touch of envy mixes with the tension I still feel. Even with the fear of that monstrosity gone, my terror of this simple enclosed space still has its grasp on me.
I’ve been doing well. Maybe it was the instinctual feeling that forced me to freeze, but even with the creature gone, my panic doesn’t escalate more than I can manage. I don’t strike out randomly at my surroundings.
“I guess we now know how that other hole was made.” Jav’s voice echoes from ahead of me.
The beast only just left. Why is he over there already? Does he want to bring it back? Against my wishes, Grímr approaches the volan. As we get closer, I spot him through the darkness looking down at the ground before him.
Grímr stops by Jav’s side and only then do I realise what he’s talking about. Before us, a massive section of the stone floor is gone. But instead of another tunnel, it drops into another cavern a hundred metres below. A blue glow carpets the cavern below us, its dim light hardly enough to make out anything in the area below us.
The biggest shock is that the stone under our feet isn’t half a metre thick. Assuming what I can see on the other end of the hole before us continues on our side, we’ve been wandering over this massive cavern without knowing.
“Solvei, sorry to ask after everything, but could you give us some light?” Remus stops beside us.
I almost refuse, but he’s not looking down with the rest of us. His eyes are locked on the ceiling ahead of us.
Begrudgingly, I do as asked. The light from my arms is enough to light up everything before us. A hundred white orbs the size of my arm stick to the ceiling with a slick paste.
Are they eggs?
