Chapter 2: The Grey Research
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Chapter 2: The Grey Research
「 Sender: KIM573 」
「 Subject: To the Story Department, please read the contents of this email if you don’t want to ruin the game any further. 」
『 This game’s illustrations, graphics, and optimization are more or less flawless. Nearly everything about the game is perfect.
Except for one thing— the story that your department is responsible for.
To be honest, with the quality of this game, as long as the story isn’t abysmally bad, it should be an absolute hit.
However, that doesn’t mean you can neglect the consistency of the narrative as you have done... well, consistently, unironically.
Let’s set aside the fact that all main characters are turned into females. We can just brush it off as a unique feature of the game. However, the fact that the majority of the characters seem to have low intelligence is something I simply cannot overlook.
To make the protagonist shine, you should’ve planned out a more well-thought-out trick. What’s the point of nerfing the intelligence of practically all the characters, except for the protagonist, in a mystery game?
And why do all the events that unfold feel like a sloppy photocopy of the Sherlock Holmes series?
A late 19th-century London with supernatural abilities. Detectives tracing bizarre incidents in this urban fantasy setting that the game world revolves around.
With such a captivating premise, I truly don’t understand why you are basically fumbling the execution itself.
There are countless characters and stories you could draw inspiration from, yet you are stubbornly fixated on the Sherlock Holmes series.
And although the game spans from the late 19th to early 20th century, does it make sense that the detectives don’t even know about fingerprints? Surely, this isn’t an attempt at being historically accurate, right? If it is then you have successfully failed.
The London Police adopted the fingerprint investigation paradigm in 1901. Even in the fundamental Sherlock Holmes series, the ones written by Arthur Conan Doyle himself, the importance of fingerprints was first mentioned not by Holmes, but by a constable instead.
For ordinary people, maybe it’s excusable, but even the professional detectives of that era not knowing the importance of fingerprints is a glaring historical error.
Of course, this isn’t the only issue present. Your story has a myriad of consistency issues and historical inaccuracies.
However, the most glaring issue, the icing on the cake of this clusterfuck, is the ultimate villain who suddenly emerges at the end to conclude everything— Professor Jane Moriarty.
To use a character as charismatic as Moriarty in a one-off manner like this, and in the worst possible way at that too, if you’re failing to be historically accurate elsewhere, why have you chosen to be so pinpoint accurate with here?
As a story consultant, I simply cannot accept this abomination of a narrative.
You should start from scratch and redo basically everything until every inconsistency in this nonsensical storyline is addressed.
Until then, I cannot possibly give my approval. I would even stake my life in preventing this game from being released.
With that said, have a good day... 』
...
...
...
...
...
To summarize the passionate 2500+ characters that I had sent to the story department of the game company I work for a few days ago, it went something like this.
After a few phone calls that followed, I was eventually summoned to their meeting room.
I lost consciousness while delivering a heated speech in front of the buffoons who were seemingly unable to comprehend my words.
When I came to and regained my senses, I deeply regretted sending that official document to them.
“Alright, let’s wrap up the lesson now.”
The final boss of the game we had been developing. The pinnacle of a story with no coherence. Yet, for all its numerous flaws, the impact of Professor Jane Moriarty inside the jarring storyline was undeniably immense.
“Don’t forget to stop by my office.”
Somehow, I found myself in front of ‘her’, having declared that she would eventually fall to her death at the Reichenbach Falls in her later years.
As an added bonus, I had also grandly referenced some of her achievements that didn’t even take place yet.
‘This has to be a case of possession— one of those fantasy tropes.’
I sat silently, seemingly out of my wits, until everyone had left the classroom. Once alone, I couldn’t help but quietly think to myself.
‘Damn piece of shit company! I knew that something was off.’
I had never met the developers or the CEO in person. Not even once. Since my role in the company was a mere story consultant, I mostly worked from home.
Come to think of it, today was my first visit to the company. The expressions of the people in the meeting room when I ranted incessantly also seemed to be unusual.
I should have been more careful in accepting the job. Blinded by the high salary and stable work environment, I jumped right in, and now... I found myself in this horrific situation.
‘...I should go, shouldn’t I?’
I had already realized that this situation wasn’t a dream. I had pinched my cheek far too many times to confirm that fact already.
It seemed to me that, somehow, I had been transported into the girl detective game our company had been developing— based on the Sherlock Holmes series.
Not during the era when Professor Moriarty reigned as the Napoleon of Crime, but when she was still appointed as a professor at the academy.
Yet, she deliberately let me in under such dire circumstances.
I couldn’t fathom why she had done something like that, but judging by the sharp look in her eyes, masked by that characteristic cold smile of hers, it seemed to me that she was testing me.
The real question was what she was testing me on.
‘Calm down, just calm the fuck down.’
The fear of potentially losing my life at any moment... The nausea from seeing a dead body for the first time... The anxiety of not even knowing how to use the mana accumulator in the first place...
Despite everything that was working against me, I mustered all the strength I had to remain composed.
I had the intuition that if I showed even a hint of weakness or panic right now, my life would instantly be at risk.
“What do you want?”
But I couldn’t keep up this charade forever.
Since any external intervention was blocked in this scenario, as time went by, the situation became increasingly unfavorable for me.
“On the contrary, what do you want from me?”
I tried to ask her with as calm a voice as I could manage, but what came back was a counter-question from Professor Moriarty.
“You managed to escape from my grasp perfectly. But instead of accusing me, you chose to accept my invitation and come to my office...”
As I blankly listened to those incomprehensible words of hers, Professor Moriarty shifted her gaze to the mana accumulator and added,
“Moreover, you’re now trying to threaten me in return.”
And then, a chilling silence ensued between us.
“I’m dying of curiosity to know what someone like you wants from me.”
Breaking the silence, Moriarty began to tilt her head like a lizard, looking at me with eyes filled with endless curiosity.
“Won’t you give me an answer?”
Once again, a palpable silence enveloped the office. Within that quiet and eerie atmosphere, I began to forcibly rack my bleached brain as hard as possible.
Judging from her reaction, Moriarty seemed quite interested in me. But the issue was, I had a rough idea of how this interest might conclude.
What response would prevent her from killing me right here and now?
How should I reply to turn her fickle interest into a favorable one?
What did Moriarty like in the original work? What could possibly make me endearing to the professor?
“Why the silence, student?”
I was already out of time.
For better or worse, it was the moment that I had to say something, anything to her...
“I want to be a graduate student...”
With eyes tightly shut, I blurted out the first idea that popped into my head.
“Specifically, under your guidance.”
To survive, I decided to sacrifice my dignity. That was the conclusion I had reached after my accelerated thinking.
“What do you think?”
Hoping desperately that the young Moriarty held a strong sense of identity as a professor, I began waiting for her response.
.
.
.
.
.
– Ding!
That was the moment.
「Villain Maker」
– Description: Fulfilling the probability of Professor Moriarty’s appearance.
With a cheerful tone, unidentified messages began to pop up in front of my eyes.
Progress: 1%
“...Huh?”
What the hell was this now? Damn it!
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Chapter 2: The Grey Research
「 Sender: KIM573 」
「 Subject: To the Story Department, please read the contents of this email if you don’t want to ruin the game any further. 」
『 This game’s illustrations, graphics, and optimization are more or less flawless. Nearly everything about the game is perfect.
Except for one thing— the story that your department is responsible for.
To be honest, with the quality of this game, as long as the story isn’t abysmally bad, it should be an absolute hit.
However, that doesn’t mean you can neglect the consistency of the narrative as you have done... well, consistently, unironically.
Let’s set aside the fact that all main characters are turned into females. We can just brush it off as a unique feature of the game. However, the fact that the majority of the characters seem to have low intelligence is something I simply cannot overlook.
To make the protagonist shine, you should’ve planned out a more well-thought-out trick. What’s the point of nerfing the intelligence of practically all the characters, except for the protagonist, in a mystery game?
And why do all the events that unfold feel like a sloppy photocopy of the Sherlock Holmes series?
A late 19th-century London with supernatural abilities. Detectives tracing bizarre incidents in this urban fantasy setting that the game world revolves around.
With such a captivating premise, I truly don’t understand why you are basically fumbling the execution itself.
There are countless characters and stories you could draw inspiration from, yet you are stubbornly fixated on the Sherlock Holmes series.
And although the game spans from the late 19th to early 20th century, does it make sense that the detectives don’t even know about fingerprints? Surely, this isn’t an attempt at being historically accurate, right? If it is then you have successfully failed.
The London Police adopted the fingerprint investigation paradigm in 1901. Even in the fundamental Sherlock Holmes series, the ones written by Arthur Conan Doyle himself, the importance of fingerprints was first mentioned not by Holmes, but by a constable instead.
For ordinary people, maybe it’s excusable, but even the professional detectives of that era not knowing the importance of fingerprints is a glaring historical error.
Of course, this isn’t the only issue present. Your story has a myriad of consistency issues and historical inaccuracies.
However, the most glaring issue, the icing on the cake of this clusterfuck, is the ultimate villain who suddenly emerges at the end to conclude everything— Professor Jane Moriarty.
To use a character as charismatic as Moriarty in a one-off manner like this, and in the worst possible way at that too, if you’re failing to be historically accurate elsewhere, why have you chosen to be so pinpoint accurate with here?
As a story consultant, I simply cannot accept this abomination of a narrative.
You should start from scratch and redo basically everything until every inconsistency in this nonsensical storyline is addressed.
Until then, I cannot possibly give my approval. I would even stake my life in preventing this game from being released.
With that said, have a good day... 』
...
...
...
...
...
To summarize the passionate 2500+ characters that I had sent to the story department of the game company I work for a few days ago, it went something like this.
After a few phone calls that followed, I was eventually summoned to their meeting room.
I lost consciousness while delivering a heated speech in front of the buffoons who were seemingly unable to comprehend my words.
When I came to and regained my senses, I deeply regretted sending that official document to them.
“Alright, let’s wrap up the lesson now.”
The final boss of the game we had been developing. The pinnacle of a story with no coherence. Yet, for all its numerous flaws, the impact of Professor Jane Moriarty inside the jarring storyline was undeniably immense.
“Don’t forget to stop by my office.”
Somehow, I found myself in front of ‘her’, having declared that she would eventually fall to her death at the Reichenbach Falls in her later years.
As an added bonus, I had also grandly referenced some of her achievements that didn’t even take place yet.
‘This has to be a case of possession— one of those fantasy tropes.’
I sat silently, seemingly out of my wits, until everyone had left the classroom. Once alone, I couldn’t help but quietly think to myself.
‘Damn piece of shit company! I knew that something was off.’
I had never met the developers or the CEO in person. Not even once. Since my role in the company was a mere story consultant, I mostly worked from home.
Come to think of it, today was my first visit to the company. The expressions of the people in the meeting room when I ranted incessantly also seemed to be unusual.
I should have been more careful in accepting the job. Blinded by the high salary and stable work environment, I jumped right in, and now... I found myself in this horrific situation.
‘...I should go, shouldn’t I?’
I had already realized that this situation wasn’t a dream. I had pinched my cheek far too many times to confirm that fact already.
It seemed to me that, somehow, I had been transported into the girl detective game our company had been developing— based on the Sherlock Holmes series.
Not during the era when Professor Moriarty reigned as the Napoleon of Crime, but when she was still appointed as a professor at the academy.
Yet, she deliberately let me in under such dire circumstances.
I couldn’t fathom why she had done something like that, but judging by the sharp look in her eyes, masked by that characteristic cold smile of hers, it seemed to me that she was testing me.
The real question was what she was testing me on.
‘Calm down, just calm the fuck down.’
The fear of potentially losing my life at any moment... The nausea from seeing a dead body for the first time... The anxiety of not even knowing how to use the mana accumulator in the first place...
Despite everything that was working against me, I mustered all the strength I had to remain composed.
I had the intuition that if I showed even a hint of weakness or panic right now, my life would instantly be at risk.
“What do you want?”
But I couldn’t keep up this charade forever.
Since any external intervention was blocked in this scenario, as time went by, the situation became increasingly unfavorable for me.
“On the contrary, what do you want from me?”
I tried to ask her with as calm a voice as I could manage, but what came back was a counter-question from Professor Moriarty.
“You managed to escape from my grasp perfectly. But instead of accusing me, you chose to accept my invitation and come to my office...”
As I blankly listened to those incomprehensible words of hers, Professor Moriarty shifted her gaze to the mana accumulator and added,
“Moreover, you’re now trying to threaten me in return.”
And then, a chilling silence ensued between us.
“I’m dying of curiosity to know what someone like you wants from me.”
Breaking the silence, Moriarty began to tilt her head like a lizard, looking at me with eyes filled with endless curiosity.
“Won’t you give me an answer?”
Once again, a palpable silence enveloped the office. Within that quiet and eerie atmosphere, I began to forcibly rack my bleached brain as hard as possible.
Judging from her reaction, Moriarty seemed quite interested in me. But the issue was, I had a rough idea of how this interest might conclude.
What response would prevent her from killing me right here and now?
How should I reply to turn her fickle interest into a favorable one?
What did Moriarty like in the original work? What could possibly make me endearing to the professor?
“Why the silence, student?”
I was already out of time.
For better or worse, it was the moment that I had to say something, anything to her...
“I want to be a graduate student...”
With eyes tightly shut, I blurted out the first idea that popped into my head.
“Specifically, under your guidance.”
To survive, I decided to sacrifice my dignity. That was the conclusion I had reached after my accelerated thinking.
“What do you think?”
Hoping desperately that the young Moriarty held a strong sense of identity as a professor, I began waiting for her response.
.
.
.
.
.
– Ding!
That was the moment.
「Villain Maker」
– Description: Fulfilling the probability of Professor Moriarty’s appearance.
With a cheerful tone, unidentified messages began to pop up in front of my eyes.
Progress: 1%
“...Huh?”
What the hell was this now? Damn it!
Chapter 2: The Grey Research Sender: KIM573 Subject: To the Story Department, please read the contents of this email if you don't want to ruin the game any further. This game's illustrations, graphics, and optimization are more or less flawless. Nearly everything about the game is perfect.Except for one thing the story that your department is responsible for.To be honest, with the quality of this game, as long as the story isn't abysmally bad, it should be an absolute hit.However, that doesn't mean you can neglect the consistency of the narrative as you have done... well, consistently, unironically.Let's set aside the fact that all main characters are turned into females. We can just brush it off as a unique feature of the game. However, the fact that the majority of the characters seem to have low intelligence is something I simply cannot overlook.To make the protagonist shine, you should've planned out a more well-thought-out trick. What's the point of nerfing the intelligence of practically all the characters, except for the protagonist, in a mystery game?And why do all the events that unfold feel like a sloppy photocopy of the Sherlock Holmes series?A late 19th-century London with supernatural abilities. Detectives tracing bizarre incidents in this urban fantasy setting that the game world revolves around.With such a captivating premise, I truly don't understand why you are basically fumbling the execution itself.There are countless characters and stories you could draw inspiration from, yet you are stubbornly fixated on the Sherlock Holmes series.And although the game spans from the late 19th to early 20th century, does it make sense that the detectives don't even know about fingerprints? Surely, this isn't an attempt at being historically accurate, right? If it is then you have successfully failed.The London Police adopted the fingerprint investigation paradigm in 1901. Even in the fundamental Sherlock Holmes series, the ones written by Arthur Conan Doyle himself, the importance of fingerprints was first mentioned not by Holmes, but by a constable instead.For ordinary people, maybe it's excusable, but even the professional detectives of that era not knowing the importance of fingerprints is a glaring historical error.Of course, this isn't the only issue present. Your story has a myriad of consistency issues and historical inaccuracies.However, the most glaring issue, the icing on the cake of this clusterfuck, is the ultimate villain who suddenly emerges at the end to conclude everything Professor Jane Moriarty.To use a character as charismatic as Moriarty in a one-off manner like this, and in the worst possible way at that too, if you're failing to be historically accurate elsewhere, why have you chosen to be so pinpoint accurate with here?As a story consultant, I simply cannot accept this abomination of a narrative.You should start from scratch and redo basically everything until every inconsistency in this nonsensical storyline is addressed.Until then, I cannot possibly give my approval. I would even stake my life in preventing this game from being released.With that said, have a good day... ...............To summarize the passionate 2500+ characters that I had sent to the story department of the game company I work for a few days ago, it went something like this.After a few phone calls that followed, I was eventually summoned to their meeting room.I lost consciousness while delivering a heated speech in front of the buffoons who were seemingly unable to comprehend my words. When I came to and regained my senses, I deeply regretted sending that official document to them.Alright, let's wrap up the lesson now.The final boss of the game we had been developing. The pinnacle of a story with no coherence. Yet, for all its numerous flaws, the impact of Professor Jane Moriarty inside the jarring storyline was undeniably immense.Don't forget to stop by my office.Somehow, I found myself in front of her', having declared that she would eventually fall to her death at the Reichenbach Falls in her later years.As an added bonus, I had also grandly referenced some of her achievements that didn't even take place yet. This has to be a case of possession one of those fantasy tropes.'I sat silently, seemingly out of my wits, until everyone had left the classroom. Once alone, I couldn't help but quietly think to myself.Damn piece of shit company! I knew that something was off.'I had never met the developers or the CEO in person. Not even once. Since my role in the company was a mere story consultant, I mostly worked from home.Come to think of it, today was my first visit to the company. The expressions of the people in the meeting room when I ranted incessantly also seemed to be unusual.I should have been more careful in accepting the job. Blinded by the high salary and stable work environment, I jumped right in, and now... I found myself in this horrific situation....I should go, shouldn't I?'I had already realized that this situation wasn't a dream. I had pinched my cheek far too many times to confirm that fact already. It seemed to me that, somehow, I had been transported into the girl detective game our company had been developing based on the Sherlock Holmes series.Not during the era when Professor Moriarty reigned as the Napoleon of Crime, but when she was still appointed as a professor at the academy.Yet, she deliberately let me in under such dire circumstances.I couldn't fathom why she had done something like that, but judging by the sharp look in her eyes, masked by that characteristic cold smile of hers, it seemed to me that she was testing me.The real question was what she was testing me on.Calm down, just calm the fuck down.'The fear of potentially losing my life at any moment... The nausea from seeing a dead body for the first time... The anxiety of not even knowing how to use the mana accumulator in the first place...Despite everything that was working against me, I mustered all the strength I had to remain composed.I had the intuition that if I showed even a hint of weakness or panic right now, my life would instantly be at risk.What do you want?But I couldn't keep up this charade forever.Since any external intervention was blocked in this scenario, as time went by, the situation became increasingly unfavorable for me.On the contrary, what do you want from me?I tried to ask her with as calm a voice as I could manage, but what came back was a counter-question from Professor Moriarty.You managed to escape from my grasp perfectly. But instead of accusing me, you chose to accept my invitation and come to my office...As I blankly listened to those incomprehensible words of hers, Professor Moriarty shifted her gaze to the mana accumulator and added,Moreover, you're now trying to threaten me in return.And then, a chilling silence ensued between us.I'm dying of curiosity to know what someone like you wants from me.Breaking the silence, Moriarty began to tilt her head like a lizard, looking at me with eyes filled with endless curiosity.Won't you give me an answer?Once again, a palpable silence enveloped the office. Within that quiet and eerie atmosphere, I began to forcibly rack my bleached brain as hard as possible.Judging from her reaction, Moriarty seemed quite interested in me. But the issue was, I had a rough idea of how this interest might conclude.What response would prevent her from killing me right here and now?How should I reply to turn her fickle interest into a favorable one?What did Moriarty like in the original work? What could possibly make me endearing to the professor?Why the silence, student?I was already out of time. For better or worse, it was the moment that I had to say something, anything to her... I want to be a graduate student...With eyes tightly shut, I blurted out the first idea that popped into my head.Specifically, under your guidance.To survive, I decided to sacrifice my dignity. That was the conclusion I had reached after my accelerated thinking.What do you think?Hoping desperately that the young Moriarty held a strong sense of identity as a professor, I began waiting for her response...... Ding!That was the moment.Villain Maker Description: Fulfilling the probability of Professor Moriarty's appearance.With a cheerful tone, unidentified messages began to pop up in front of my eyes.Progress: 1%...Huh?What the hell was this now? Damn it!
