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Depressing Illusion - Chapter 76

Published at 9th of October 2023 10:28:50 AM


Chapter 76

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I was rummaging around in the bag I was clutching under the blanket. As the sound of footsteps approaching the bed got closer, I stretched out my hand from the blanket and spread my palm out. After an awkward pause, Tae Seong-je broke the silence.

“… What’s this?”

“It’s called a bath bomb.”

I muttered, my voice coming out with difficulty due to the fact that I had buried my head in the blanket. I raised my head, but the fatigue in my body was so overwhelming that my voice lacked strength.

“It’s a gift.”

“…”

Considering the long day he must have had at work, soaking in hot water would probably help him relax a bit. With that in mind, I gently placed the bath bomb in his hand. Although the bubble bath and Tae Seong-je do not go well together, the picture was cute. While imagining Tae Seong-je with foam on his head, the bed suddenly tilted to one side.

“So… you want me to take a bath?”

I didn’t understand why he was delaying taking a bath instead of doing it alone. I said it firmly before he said something stupid like washing alone was lonely.

“Yes. Hyung. You smell like sweat, so please take a bath.”

I rebuked him, but in reality, the blanket smelled clean, so my complaint was baseless. Soon, I heard a sniffing sound as if he were smelling himself.

“…Alright. I’ll take a bath. So, don’t sleep.”

“But I’m so sleepy.”

I snuggled under the blanket and suddenly felt his arms around me.

“Hyung. You’re heavy.”

“I’ll wash up quickly, so just wait a moment.”

I don’t want to wait. Still, his voice was softer than usual, making a corner of my heart softened. The heavy weight lifted away as I reluctantly agreed with a voice that seemed to be surrendering.

Not long after, I heard the sound of the shower. I peeked my head out from under the blanket. In the dimly lit room with just the mood light on, I noticed a gift box, something I hadn’t seen before. I approached it slowly, stepping out of bed.

As I stared at the pile of boxes in the center of the room, I saw a familiar shoe logo on one of them. I remembered because they had launched luggage bags here recently. When I saw it, I initially wondered if this guy only shopped and didn’t work. I thought maybe he had bought it to give as a gift to someone, but then I wondered if he had brought it for me. I hesitantly opened the box.

“… It’s pretty.”

Other than the accent color, they were entirely white basketball shoes. The line itself was so neat and clean that my eyes were drawn to it. I sat down on the floor, carefully pulled out the shoe, and slipped it on my bare feet.

“It’s fit perfectly.”

I guess it’s mine. I don’t know how he knew my size, but for now, they fit just right. I stood up quickly from my spot and looked down at the shoes. It looked as expensive as it was pretty, and it was as pretty as it looked expensive. My heart was pounding because these were the prettiest shoes I had ever seen, no, I had ever seen in my life.

I circled around a pile of boxes that reminded me of presents piled under a Christmas tree. I was so caught up in looking at the shoes with my head down without even realizing that Tae Seong-je had appeared.

“Do you like it?”

I blushed with embarrassment and straightened my disheveled robe.

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“A bit much?”

What does “a bit much” even mean? I scolded myself for saying something so ridiculous and fell silent. There were moments when I had to admit something. For example, I have to accept that I can get excited like a child over a perfect pair of shoes and that Tae Seong-je, with his hair down, has the ability to forgive everything. Maybe that’s why the lingering bitterness vanished as if it had grown wings.

“You’ve waited a long time.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t wait.”

Well, I did wait a bit, but that’s within the margin of error, so let’s not count it.

“…Really? You’re amazing.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for more than a day or two. I have to pick up on these things now.”

“…Are you mad at me, by any chance?”

“No? Who am I to get mad at you?”

I patted Tae Seong-je’s back, who was looking down at me with a complex and subtle expression. His breathing, slow-moving eyelids, and feeble voice all seemed to indicate genuine fatigue. I sat Tae Seong-je on the bed and brought a dryer to dry his hair when he wrinkled his nose and said,

“You smell like alcohol?”

“… I only drank a little, a little.”

“There was a wine bottle rolling on the floor.”

“Ah. Did I drink all of it? That’s because it makes me too full to drink before getting drunk.”

I expected him to say something, but Tae Seong-je remained silent. He simply licked his dry lips like it was something he did without thinking.

Still, he was staring at me, so I kept my distance, thinking maybe it was still too hot. I’m drinking it as ‘medicine,’ but he was being so mean. When his hair was almost completely dry, Tae Seong-je gestured for me to stop.

I put my hand down and he gently brushed the corner of my eye. It tickled and I tilted my head slightly. He brushed my hair behind my ear and said,

“Things got a bit complicated.”

“Huh?”

“So, I was late.”

Ah. I was wondering what he was talking about and it turned out to be an extension of the conversation earlier.

“It’s okay; don’t worry about it. When you’re dating someone busy, you have to be prepared for this kind of thing.”

I said that and hugged his neck tightly. I want things to stay like this until you get to know Woo Ji-min. Occasionally, you might feel frustrated, but that will improve over time.

“I’ll spend three whole days with you, so don’t sulk.”

“Who said I was sulking… Wait, what? Three days?”

I was so surprised that I accidentally increased the dryer’s power to ‘strong.’ Tae Seong-je closed his eyes without a word. Oh no, realizing my mistake, I quickly turned it off and blinked at him.

“Can you really stay with me for three days?”

Tae Seong-je frowned at my words for a moment, but then reluctantly nodded. It felt so unreal. I put the dryer down on the floor and hugged his neck tightly. Three whole days! It was just too good, and I couldn’t contain my excitement. Even though he might leave again, for now, it was perfect.

Even if it’s just for one day, being able to spend the entire day together would be thrilling. As I was smiling, Tae Seong-je pulled me closer and hugged me tightly. It was sudden, but lying in the same bed, wearing the same pajamas, and smelling the same shampoo, I felt incredibly content.

“But what’s all this? Is it all for me?”

“Yeah, it’s all yours. You can have it all. Let me know if you need anything else.”

And with that, he buried his head in my neck playfully. I squirmed as it tickled, but he didn’t seem to mind. He held me tightly like a well-tied knot, and I woke up from my drowsiness. I smiled as I stroked his hair and said,

“You should have just come here instead of buying all this. You could have seen me an hour earlier.”

“…”

The person who hadn’t expected this sighed regretfully as I lightly stroked his soft hair. Tae Seong-je had a complicated expression as he rubbed the corner of my eyes.

“… Sleep.”

“Okay. Hyung, good night. Come back sooner and empty-handed next time.”

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

Tae Seong-je turned off the mood light and hugged me tightly again. In fact, there were some inconveniences in sleeping like this, such as the weight of his arms, but the contact of our body temperatures and his steady breathing was so enchanting that my eyes closed comfortably.

“Oh, I bought a gift for you too, but I used your money. I’m sorry.”

“No, you did well.”

He said I did well, but I wasn’t sure what I had done well.

“I lost my debit card again… I’ll buy it for you next time. And also…”

He gently bit my nose as he got up slightly.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow. You look tired.”

“You look tired too. But do you have time to talk with me tomorrow?”

“…Even if I don’t, I’ll make time.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Hyung.”

“Yeah. I can’t sleep if it’s noisy, so let’s close our eyes and sleep.”

“Do you have insomnia?”

“Yeah, I do. Sleep.”

My itching mouth wanted to talk more, but I fell asleep from the feeling of happiness. Tae Seong-je couldn’t possibly give me a sense of security, but sometimes, having him around felt like everything was perfect. Would he feel the same way?

I suddenly became curious, but I thought it couldn’t be possible. He was someone who didn’t seem to care about loneliness and inadequacy. Even if he felt lonely, the person who could fill it wouldn’t be someone as young and inexperienced as me. If there was someone who could fill that void, it would be someone more mature.

Someone who was wiser and more thoughtful than me, someone he could rely on.

I had no right to be jealous, but I couldn’t help but envy the person who would stand by his side in the near and distant future. I knew I couldn’t stand next to him anyway, and it wasn’t my place, but I wanted it so much. Before this feeling grew too big and unmanageable, I locked it deep in my heart.

In that place, all sorts of intense emotions were already brewing and on the verge of exploding, but I couldn’t continue to hold onto these feelings. I was too anxious about it. Part 1 was just about waiting for time to pass. So, I had to enjoy this moment. It was like my lifeline.





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