LATEST UPDATES

Depressing Illusion - Chapter 77

Published at 9th of October 2023 10:28:50 AM


Chapter 77

If audio player doesn't work, press Stop then Play button again








The silence inside the bedroom was broken only by the two people’s breathing. I snuggled my face into the warmth of his chest, avoiding the cool breeze from the air-conditioner. After tossing and turning a few times, I opened my eyes and looked up. Tae Seong-je was peacefully asleep.

For some reason, my chest felt tight. I hadn’t expected that we would spend the moments until the next morning together. His even breathing and the relaxed look on his face were unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. In fact, just watching him filled me with contentment and happiness.

I knew it couldn’t last, but I wished for this moment to last forever. It was a ridiculous thought, but as my memories began to fade, I became easily distracted. The happiness right in front of me was too bright. It was all because of the comforting and lovely emotions that had accumulated, not sadness or anxiety.

I gently placed my hand on Tae Seong-je’s cheek. I carefully and affectionately caressed his face. My heart began to flutter as I relaxed.

I want to be by his side.

A selfish and foolish thought suddenly surfaced. The thoughts that had been buried deep for fear of being intrusive began to creep out uncontrollably once they surfaced. I feel so at ease in my heart that I want to abandon everything and live with this man.

As my memories faded, the compulsion to return to reality started to blur. The boundaries between reality and unreality became ambiguous. This unreal world felt more like a dream and was sweeter. I still felt a twinge of guilt about my younger sister, but it was no longer worry or longing.

If there was one thing that made me uneasy in this perfect world, that would be Seo Seung-won. His family, his friends.

“If I continue to live without seeing…”

My heart began to pound unpleasantly. That’s right, why not just continue living like this? What was so important about family? Many people live without seeing each other. Many people leave their hometowns and never return.

I wondered if Seo Seung-won was in the same situation as me. If so, then his desire to return would have faded. Although I did not have a harmonious family in my life, it was still a life without any shortcomings. He must be living well.

I rationalized, but then I remembered Seo Seung-won’s mother crying. At the same time, a sharp pain, like a thorned ball rolling inside me, began to surge. Even the slightest movement caused a sharp ache deep within.

I felt disgusted, so I quickly covered up any negative feelings. Let’s just end it as an imagination. After all, imagination is free. Then it wasn’t a sense of guilt but rather a kind of indulgence.

However…

I furrowed my brow slightly without realizing it. He told me to go to sleep quickly because he woke up easily at the slightest sound. Was that just a joke? I tossed and turned for a while, but he wasn’t even disturbed.

“It’s good to sleep well…”

I wondered why he said that. I smiled lightly and quietly looked at his closed eyelids. I was suspicious that he might be pretending to sleep, but surprisingly, he really seemed to be asleep. And a deep sleep at that. People can be so amusing. Maybe I should refrain from telling him that he’s a terrible sleeper.

I enjoyed watching his defenseless appearance to my heart’s content. I wondered when I would see Tae Seong-je’s sleeping face again. I should look at it a lot while I can. Just seeing him sleeping made him more human and made me feel closer to him.

But is he still asleep? He’s really asleep. I stared at him absentmindedly, and suddenly a mischievous idea crossed my mind. Just like Tae Seong-je often does to me, I playfully pressed my lips against his cheek. He didn’t even flinch or twitch in his sleep.

“I guess he won’t notice even if I carry him.”

I’m bored, so at least pretend to wake up. I gazed at Tae Seong-je’s handsome nose for a moment and then kissed his lips this time. I slipped away from his embrace and propped my chin up to admire his handsome face to my heart’s content. His peaceful sleeping figure was just too cute.

He stayed still and then I playfully kissed his lips several times. Kiss, kiss. The sound of consecutive kisses seemed louder in the quiet room, making me feel strangely excited. I thought I had done something embarrassing, but his head, which had been still, suddenly turned.

Did he wake up? In surprise, I froze in place without even blinking. It didn’t seem like he had woken up… Then he’s just tossing and turning. I held my breath in confusion as Tae Seong-je lightly pinched his forehead and mumbled.

“Why don’t you do it?”

His rough voice was lower than ever.

“Do what?”

Holding back my laughter, I brought my lips close to Tae Seong-je’s ear and whispered. When I kissed him the way he wanted, he straightened his crumpled face in satisfaction and began to exhale evenly again.

“Pfft…”

Tae Seong-je is such a funny person…

“Hyung, are you really sleeping?”

“…”

“Seong-je hyung?”

“…”

“Shall we do it one more time?”

“…Uh.”

It was so funny that he answered with an uncharacteristically slurred pronunciation that I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. It was like listening to someone’s sleep-talk who didn’t like to speak properly. I felt like I was going to die of laughter, but I couldn’t laugh out loud because I had a sweet sleeper next to me. I buried my face in the blanket and giggled for a while.

The view outside the window through the curtains was still dimly lit, even though it had a refreshing morning feel. I turned the mood lamp on and off, opened each of the gift boxes, did some strange things like stacking pillows, and tried to pass the time. But time was passing slowly.

Nevertheless, all I could do was wait. Waiting was always my role.

Still, out of boredom, I opened the veranda window. The sea on a summer day, and the refreshing breeze that could only be felt in the morning, brushed my cheeks. I pulled aside the blackout curtains and grabbed the thin curtains inside. Then the white curtains began to sway beautifully in the wind.

Seeing this made me feel like I was on a vacation. I wanted to be trapped and live here so much. It was such an amazing place. But Tae Seong-je was a person with more common sense than I thought, so he probably wouldn’t actually try to imprison me. It was a pity. Maybe I should just imprison him.

This wasn’t a bad idea either. If he imprisoned me, Tae Seong-je would still come and go busy with work as always, but If I imprisoned him, I could see him whenever I wanted. It might make me sound too idle, but the idea itself wasn’t bad.

Then suddenly, I felt like Tae Seong-je and I were both enjoying a vacation today. I wanted to give him a perfect holiday. Then later… much later, even if he forgets me, if he could vaguely remember this day, it wouldn’t be in vain.

I tiptoed to avoid making a sound and walked quietly from the veranda to under the bed. I pulled out a hefty bag and spread out the gifts I hadn’t given him yesterday on the floor. I lined them up and examined them one by one, placing candles on the table.

When I lit the core of the candle that was advertised as providing peace of mind and body, a pleasant scent began to spread gently throughout the room. Satisfied, I put the lighter back and examined the gifts again. Among them, a beautiful glass bottle caught my eye. It was an oil.

“Hyung, can I give you a massage?”

“Uh…”

It seemed like an unconscious response, but it was a response nonetheless. Good. I’ll just let him sleep for one more hour and then wake him up with a massage. I sat quietly beside the deeply sleeping person and checked the time. I admired his even breathing and the rise and fall of his chest, then opened the cap of the oil I was holding. It smelled nice. I made a good choice.

Exactly 60 minutes later, I looked at the tightly tied belt of his well-worn gown with a determined expression. Why did someone who couldn’t stand feeling stuffy tie this so chastely? His skin began to show through as I gently untied the knot.

I narrowed my eyes with a serious expression. I looked at his chest for a while and then raised both hands and put them on his chest. It was big and solid. Was this something he was born with…? I was fascinated, envious, and a little lustful. Was it because of that? My fingers moved as if they had a mind of their own.

After touching it for a while, I suddenly wondered if this was some sort of harassment against someone who was currently sleeping. But then, this guy had played with me while I was asleep… Is there a rule that says I can’t do it? As that thought crossed my mind, my hands didn’t stop.

Still, I felt embarrassed to be so openly touching him. Although, I was really doing it openly… I decided that when the opportunity arose, I would learn from Tae Seong-je’s shamelessness and reluctantly withdraw my desire-filled hands from his chest.

Grabbing the sleeping person’s arm tightly to pull off his gown, it felt quite heavy, perhaps because he was asleep.

I haven’t been wasting my time on exercise, but I didn’t expect it to be so difficult to remove just one gown. Despite all the fuss, he didn’t seem to have any intention of waking up, which was fortunate. I was about to flip him like a fried egg, but I froze at the sight before me.

“…”

Right. This guy had a tattoo on his back.

I had a strange standoff with the unfamiliar dragon in the waves and an awkward staring contest. Then I accidentally spilled some oil, which dripped down into the dragon’s mouth. Thanks to that, I barely regained my composure, but I couldn’t shake off the strange feeling. It was only now that I realized he was a gangster.

Suddenly, the person named Tae Seong-je felt unfamiliar. On the other hand, my palm confidently continued to explore. When the oil warmed up with the heat of my hand, I once again examined the tattoo. I had a preconception that gangsters’ tattoos would be quite lurid.

It turned out to be quite different when I saw it up close. Still, it was somehow… different from what I had in mind… The disparity between the sentence “he has a tattoo” and what I actually saw was much greater than I had thought, which was baffling. I gently covered the dragon’s eyes with my oil-soaked hands.





Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!


COMMENTS