Suddenly, he asked quietly.
“Why do you like me?”
For a moment, I wondered if I had heard correctly. That’s because this really wasn’t something Tae Seong-je would say. He looked a little dazed. When we meet each other’s eyes, he smiles softly and with a relaxed smile. Ah, it was as if he were wearing a mask.
“It’s because I really don’t understand.”
Tae Seong-je shrugged, hiding a self-deprecating look in his eyes. Was he someone who needed to understand? I got better at reading his expressions as we spent more time together, but his inner thoughts remained elusive. I glanced at him and gently placed my hand on his shoulder.
Tae Seong-je instinctively lowered his head as I leaned my head back. However, a sudden thought made me quickly withdraw. While Tae Seong-je was frozen still, I quickly reached out of the tub. More precisely, I reached for the two-tier tray containing a pretty water bottle adorned with flowers and lemons, snacks, and skincare products.
“Hold on, I’ll just brush my teeth.”
“…Hyung really likes that about you.”
I stepped back from him and continued brushing my teeth diligently. He rested his chin and looked at me as if observing me brushing my teeth thoroughly up and down. After thoroughly cleaning my mouth, a hint of determination shone in my eyes as I lifted his chin.
“All done. Let’s do it now.”
“Ha, indeed. Funny punk.”
I took a moment to admire the man’s face as he struggled to contain his laughter, and then I kissed him. The man’s mouth was soft and thrilling. It felt good. The soothing sound of splashing water and the subtly languid kisses lingered on. I was so relaxed that I felt like I was melting, and I wished this moment would last forever.
“Umm… ”
The soft tongue made my body tickle. But was it just my imagination that our kisses were getting deeper and more sensual? The sucking sound of his tongue became more explicit, even more tantalizing than before.
The heat in the warm bathtub continued to rise as we pressed our bodies together. His constant sucking on my lips made a lot of noise and made the kiss a little messy. I couldn’t swallow my saliva, but that made the atmosphere even more sultry.
“Hmph. Ah, hyung…”
I was about to sit down with my body, but his arms came between my waist and started groping my thighs. His touch was firm and pleasurable, and it sent shivers down my spine. His touch on my sensitive spots made me bend my knees and step back without realizing it.
His firm and swollen penis pressed against my buttocks. Even though he was still clothed, I could roughly feel its shape through the fabric. Having seen it a few times before, I couldn’t help but recall its size, thickness, and stiffness in my mind, which made my heart race.
Throughout this, the intimate caresses continued, leaving me befuddled. My body shivered as every corner was stimulated, and my toes involuntarily trembled. My hips repeatedly lifted, so I held on desperately to his forearms. He grabbed the tip of my chin when my nerves were all over the place and I could not concentrate on the kiss.
The breathless kisses continued, causing my chest to swell with each inhale and exhale. The hand that had been groping my thighs came up to rub my abdomen and massage my chest as I was breathing heavily. It teased my nipples in a subtle way. It was so strange and embarrassing to be touched in such a place.
“Don’t… Ah, please, hyung, uhm…”
He tugged, pinched, and wouldn’t let go. I tried to pull his hand away, but it remained firm. He wouldn’t even let go of my mouth so I couldn’t tell him to stop. One of my nipples was stiffened. The hand that had been persistently teasing me withdrew as I twisted my body in shame for being aroused by something like this.
Feeling relieved, I tried to cover my upper body because I felt strange about my erect and tingling nipples…
“Ah!”
His hand suddenly gripped my erect penis firmly. I was taken aback because I had not expected him to touch that sensitive area so abruptly. I barely held back from almost screaming. I was about to scold him for this sudden move when his grip tightened even further.
“…!”
The pressure of his palm rubbing against my penis was strong and gentle, causing blood to rush to my lower abdomen. My lower back arched involuntarily as I felt his touch become more intense, and my knees gradually bent. It was both painful and pleasurable, and my mind appeared to be about to blank out from excitement.
I tried to push his hand away with both hands, but the strong stimulation caused me to lose strength. In the end, my movements looked like I was scratching the back of his hand. I could feel the climax approaching as he began to press the tip with his fingertips. He started rubbing my penis up and down, adjusting the pressure and rhythm, and I could not help but make strange sounds.
“Ha, ah, hy-hyung, ugh!”
“Feel good?”
“Go, good, ah, good, but, ugh.”
My thighs tensed as I felt the urge to ejaculate. Oh, no. Hold on. I tried to hold on by applying strength to my hands and the soles of my feet as if I were pushing out the bathtub. However, the bath salts made it slippery, and my limbs kept flailing. Eventually, I gave in and gripped his muscular arms and thighs tightly, trying to endure the ecstasy.
“I don’t like it here, ah, not here… Hmm… Ugh, ha…”
My head tipped involuntarily as his lips sensually nibbled my ear, causing my words to trail off. The gentle, tantalizing sensation sent shivers down my spine. His lips brushed against my earlobe, and the sound of his ragged breathing made my breath quicken even more. Ah, I really can’t stand it anymore. I can’t do it. My head tilted back involuntarily as my excitement reached a fever pitch, and I shivered uncontrollably.
Saliva dripped from his open mouth, adding intensity to the waves of pleasure. I could only stare at the undulating surface of the water while trembling and twitching. I couldn’t think straight. The sight of my leg entwined with his in his black pants was unusually white.
“… Ah!”
Suddenly, his slippery tongue delved into my ear. It was wet and explicit, making lewd and overt sounds. I tried to turn my head to avoid it, but he caught my chin again. There was nowhere to escape, and the sensations were so intense that only stifled moans escaped my clenched teeth.
“You don’t want to cum in the bathtub?”
My face flushed with shame. It felt like he was asking if I didn’t want to pee. I barely nodded, suppressing my feelings of embarrassment. Nevertheless, Tae Seong-je’s hand did not stop and stimulated my penis.
“Ah, hyung… Oh, no… ”
The pleasure was so intense that my vision blurred and my breathing became increasingly ragged. He asked again while I was dazed. It was a strange question.
“Do you really love me?”
“Ugh, uh, ye-yes.”
“Why?”
My thighs trembled, and my toes curled as I was overwhelmed by pleasure.
“Why do you love me so much? What did I do to make you love me this much? I can’t think of any reason why you would love me so intensely. How can you be so blindly loving me?”
The reason I loved him? Of course, it was because I loved him. What else was there to question? Why was he interrogating me about my feelings while I was in the throes of desire? I was on the verge of tears, but I was in a hurry, so I tried to say something, but I couldn’t get my voice out. Oh, no. I feel like I’m going to cum.
“It’s because I don’t think it was just because of my face.”
“Hyung, p-pleas…”
“Who looks at someone with such eyes and just likes their face?”
“Ah, ha… Just, hold on, please…”
Only a gasping sound came out of my chapped lips. Then, just as I was about to leap from an intense wave of pleasure coursing through my body, he grabbed my waist and lifted me up. At the same time, a thick towel was wrapped around my lower body. As the pressure was relieved and the soft towel touched my skin, the tension in my body dissipated and I relaxed.
“Haa… Hmm, uhm… ”
I leaned against Tae Seong-je’s chest, still tingling from the remaining pleasure. He kissed my lips again as if swallowing me up. Unable to give my shaky legs any strength, I gripped the tub and his forearms for support. Though I kept slipping and floundering like a newborn animal.
“Seo Seung-won, you.”
After finishing a deep kiss, he paused and called my name. His voice was rough, and his breathing was heavy.
“Do you want to live with me?”
I took a deep breath and slowly raised my gaze, exhausted. This was how you drained all of my energy in such a shameful way. In a state where my heart was melting and softening, asking this seems a bit sudden. It’s not that I don’t want to, though.
His eyes were filled with unspoken affection, and I could sense his anxiety. His careful words reached me. Despite the overwhelming emotions that had flooded my heart just moments ago, I couldn’t find my voice. Every time I tried to speak, Tae Seong-je’s lips brushed softly against mine. His lips were moist, warm, and strangely sweet.
“I’ll take good care of you.”
“…”
“I’ll take good care of you from now on… Just be by my side.”
Tae Seong-je lowered his body, still holding me tightly from behind. The warm water surrounding my body again gives me a feeling of floating. No, I think this feeling comes because my heart feels light and fluffy. Ah, the once frightening world has gone sweetly crazy.
Tae Seong-je clings to me. He bows earnestly and pleads with me in a voice I have never heard before. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and rubs it cutely. His forehead and nose touched my shoulder, and his breath felt desperately close. In that moment, I gained trust. From a capricious partner who was hard to believe in.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
When my breathing calmed down, I held back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. Without realizing it, there were times when I noticed something strange about you and wanted to tell you about it. I struggled to hold back my hesitation, trying to cover my mouth in response to your offer to grant my wishes.
Please send me affectionate messages. Call me more often than you text me. Come to see me more often than that. I hope we have more time together than the days we’ve already spent together.
Even though I had so many things I wanted to say, I felt overwhelmed because I had kept my feelings locked up, thinking I wouldn’t have the opportunity to express them.
“If I say I love you, please tell me you love me too. Hyung, you… You’ve never once told me you love me.”
So, this is the phrase I finally let out. It was the most hurtful, and that’s why I had never dared to think about it.
When I was so easily swayed by your every expression and word, you must have figured out my feelings long before I did. There’s no way someone as perceptive as you couldn’t have guessed my feelings. And you probably enjoyed how much I liked you. So, that’s why you treated me so casually.
So, when did that feeling actually change? When did it become serious and weighty? I was curious. I wanted to ask why you fell in love with me. But there was something more important than that. Now, what’s important to me is your unwavering love.
“I’ve told Hyung several times.”
“…”
“Hyung just smiled every time, making me confused…”
“…Sorry.”
His endlessly whispering apologies, his two arms embracing me tightly as if squeezing my body, and his nose brushing against my neck were all so endearing. Maybe that’s why my heart melted so easily.
“Not that.”
Even though my voice was calm, I couldn’t hide my impatience. I shook my head to interrupt him. When only the sounds of our breaths and racing hearts filled the air, Tae Seong-je finally spoke again.
“I love you. More than you think.”
It felt awkward as if it was the first time he said he loved me. But there was no hesitation in his voice. That’s enough. No, it’s more than enough. It’s overwhelming.
“I love you too.”
His hold on me finally relaxed. I turned slowly around to face Tae Seong-je. The man, who was always full of confidence, had a pitiful expression on his face. I couldn’t hide the crookedness in my eyes, but neither could I hide the smile on my lips.
As I got closer and lowered my head, he closed his eyes. I slowly pressed my lips against his and kissed him affectionately. It was a gentle kiss, nothing rushed, just filled with affection. He entrusted himself to my hands and laid down in the sunset. I followed suit, sinking into and savoring the moment.
The sounds I heard in my ears were like harmonies you could only find underwater. If I had to die, I wanted to drown in this ocean named you. Death is scary. But I felt like I wouldn’t be afraid of any death if I died in your arms.
When we resurfaced, I whispered my desires, asking him to protect me, not to make me wait, not to leave me lonely… And he promised me. He promised to protect me, not to make me wait, and to keep me from being lonely.
I believed his words firmly. Because it was he who said them.
After roughly rinsing off and returning to the bedroom, the first thing I did was look for my bag. I took out my laptop from inside. I leisurely rubbed my wet hair with a dry towel and placed the cursor on the file containing all my memories.
I deleted the memory file while listening to the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom. I didn’t delete everything, but more than a year of memories that I had meticulously accumulated disappeared cleanly with a single click. It felt incredibly hollow.
It could be a mistake. Also, I may have made a stupid choice. They say love makes you stupid, so maybe I’m doing something crazy. Still, it was fine. Still, it was good. After all, too much time has passed. This was the limit. I didn’t want to hang on to a false hope any longer when happiness was right in front of me.
“What are you doing there?”
I just smiled as I watched him rubbing his wet hair.
“Nothing.”
If the circumstances changed and there was no longer any need for hesitation, I would seize the present day, this very moment, and the you in front of my eyes.
Suddenly, he asked quietly.
“Why do you like me?”
For a moment, I wondered if I had heard correctly. That’s because this really wasn’t something Tae Seong-je would say. He looked a little dazed. When we meet each other’s eyes, he smiles softly and with a relaxed smile. Ah, it was as if he were wearing a mask.
“It’s because I really don’t understand.”
Tae Seong-je shrugged, hiding a self-deprecating look in his eyes. Was he someone who needed to understand? I got better at reading his expressions as we spent more time together, but his inner thoughts remained elusive. I glanced at him and gently placed my hand on his shoulder.
Tae Seong-je instinctively lowered his head as I leaned my head back. However, a sudden thought made me quickly withdraw. While Tae Seong-je was frozen still, I quickly reached out of the tub. More precisely, I reached for the two-tier tray containing a pretty water bottle adorned with flowers and lemons, snacks, and skincare products.
“Hold on, I’ll just brush my teeth.”
“…Hyung really likes that about you.”
I stepped back from him and continued brushing my teeth diligently. He rested his chin and looked at me as if observing me brushing my teeth thoroughly up and down. After thoroughly cleaning my mouth, a hint of determination shone in my eyes as I lifted his chin.
“All done. Let’s do it now.”
“Ha, indeed. Funny punk.”
I took a moment to admire the man’s face as he struggled to contain his laughter, and then I kissed him. The man’s mouth was soft and thrilling. It felt good. The soothing sound of splashing water and the subtly languid kisses lingered on. I was so relaxed that I felt like I was melting, and I wished this moment would last forever.
“Umm… ”
The soft tongue made my body tickle. But was it just my imagination that our kisses were getting deeper and more sensual? The sucking sound of his tongue became more explicit, even more tantalizing than before.
The heat in the warm bathtub continued to rise as we pressed our bodies together. His constant sucking on my lips made a lot of noise and made the kiss a little messy. I couldn’t swallow my saliva, but that made the atmosphere even more sultry.
“Hmph. Ah, hyung…”
I was about to sit down with my body, but his arms came between my waist and started groping my thighs. His touch was firm and pleasurable, and it sent shivers down my spine. His touch on my sensitive spots made me bend my knees and step back without realizing it.
His firm and swollen penis pressed against my buttocks. Even though he was still clothed, I could roughly feel its shape through the fabric. Having seen it a few times before, I couldn’t help but recall its size, thickness, and stiffness in my mind, which made my heart race.
Throughout this, the intimate caresses continued, leaving me befuddled. My body shivered as every corner was stimulated, and my toes involuntarily trembled. My hips repeatedly lifted, so I held on desperately to his forearms. He grabbed the tip of my chin when my nerves were all over the place and I could not concentrate on the kiss.
The breathless kisses continued, causing my chest to swell with each inhale and exhale. The hand that had been groping my thighs came up to rub my abdomen and massage my chest as I was breathing heavily. It teased my nipples in a subtle way. It was so strange and embarrassing to be touched in such a place.
“Don’t… Ah, please, hyung, uhm…”
He tugged, pinched, and wouldn’t let go. I tried to pull his hand away, but it remained firm. He wouldn’t even let go of my mouth so I couldn’t tell him to stop. One of my nipples was stiffened. The hand that had been persistently teasing me withdrew as I twisted my body in shame for being aroused by something like this.
Feeling relieved, I tried to cover my upper body because I felt strange about my erect and tingling nipples…
“Ah!”
His hand suddenly gripped my erect penis firmly. I was taken aback because I had not expected him to touch that sensitive area so abruptly. I barely held back from almost screaming. I was about to scold him for this sudden move when his grip tightened even further.
“…!”
The pressure of his palm rubbing against my penis was strong and gentle, causing blood to rush to my lower abdomen. My lower back arched involuntarily as I felt his touch become more intense, and my knees gradually bent. It was both painful and pleasurable, and my mind appeared to be about to blank out from excitement.
I tried to push his hand away with both hands, but the strong stimulation caused me to lose strength. In the end, my movements looked like I was scratching the back of his hand. I could feel the climax approaching as he began to press the tip with his fingertips. He started rubbing my penis up and down, adjusting the pressure and rhythm, and I could not help but make strange sounds.
“Ha, ah, hy-hyung, ugh!”
“Feel good?”
“Go, good, ah, good, but, ugh.”
My thighs tensed as I felt the urge to ejaculate. Oh, no. Hold on. I tried to hold on by applying strength to my hands and the soles of my feet as if I were pushing out the bathtub. However, the bath salts made it slippery, and my limbs kept flailing. Eventually, I gave in and gripped his muscular arms and thighs tightly, trying to endure the ecstasy.
“I don’t like it here, ah, not here… Hmm… Ugh, ha…”
My head tipped involuntarily as his lips sensually nibbled my ear, causing my words to trail off. The gentle, tantalizing sensation sent shivers down my spine. His lips brushed against my earlobe, and the sound of his ragged breathing made my breath quicken even more. Ah, I really can’t stand it anymore. I can’t do it. My head tilted back involuntarily as my excitement reached a fever pitch, and I shivered uncontrollably.
Saliva dripped from his open mouth, adding intensity to the waves of pleasure. I could only stare at the undulating surface of the water while trembling and twitching. I couldn’t think straight. The sight of my leg entwined with his in his black pants was unusually white.
“… Ah!”
Suddenly, his slippery tongue delved into my ear. It was wet and explicit, making lewd and overt sounds. I tried to turn my head to avoid it, but he caught my chin again. There was nowhere to escape, and the sensations were so intense that only stifled moans escaped my clenched teeth.
“You don’t want to cum in the bathtub?”
My face flushed with shame. It felt like he was asking if I didn’t want to pee. I barely nodded, suppressing my feelings of embarrassment. Nevertheless, Tae Seong-je’s hand did not stop and stimulated my penis.
“Ah, hyung… Oh, no… ”
The pleasure was so intense that my vision blurred and my breathing became increasingly ragged. He asked again while I was dazed. It was a strange question.
“Do you really love me?”
“Ugh, uh, ye-yes.”
“Why?”
My thighs trembled, and my toes curled as I was overwhelmed by pleasure.
“Why do you love me so much? What did I do to make you love me this much? I can’t think of any reason why you would love me so intensely. How can you be so blindly loving me?”
The reason I loved him? Of course, it was because I loved him. What else was there to question? Why was he interrogating me about my feelings while I was in the throes of desire? I was on the verge of tears, but I was in a hurry, so I tried to say something, but I couldn’t get my voice out. Oh, no. I feel like I’m going to cum.
“It’s because I don’t think it was just because of my face.”
“Hyung, p-pleas…”
“Who looks at someone with such eyes and just likes their face?”
“Ah, ha… Just, hold on, please…”
Only a gasping sound came out of my chapped lips. Then, just as I was about to leap from an intense wave of pleasure coursing through my body, he grabbed my waist and lifted me up. At the same time, a thick towel was wrapped around my lower body. As the pressure was relieved and the soft towel touched my skin, the tension in my body dissipated and I relaxed.
“Haa… Hmm, uhm… ”
I leaned against Tae Seong-je’s chest, still tingling from the remaining pleasure. He kissed my lips again as if swallowing me up. Unable to give my shaky legs any strength, I gripped the tub and his forearms for support. Though I kept slipping and floundering like a newborn animal.
“Seo Seung-won, you.”
After finishing a deep kiss, he paused and called my name. His voice was rough, and his breathing was heavy.
“Do you want to live with me?”
I took a deep breath and slowly raised my gaze, exhausted. This was how you drained all of my energy in such a shameful way. In a state where my heart was melting and softening, asking this seems a bit sudden. It’s not that I don’t want to, though.
His eyes were filled with unspoken affection, and I could sense his anxiety. His careful words reached me. Despite the overwhelming emotions that had flooded my heart just moments ago, I couldn’t find my voice. Every time I tried to speak, Tae Seong-je’s lips brushed softly against mine. His lips were moist, warm, and strangely sweet.
“I’ll take good care of you.”
“…”
“I’ll take good care of you from now on… Just be by my side.”
Tae Seong-je lowered his body, still holding me tightly from behind. The warm water surrounding my body again gives me a feeling of floating. No, I think this feeling comes because my heart feels light and fluffy. Ah, the once frightening world has gone sweetly crazy.
Tae Seong-je clings to me. He bows earnestly and pleads with me in a voice I have never heard before. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and rubs it cutely. His forehead and nose touched my shoulder, and his breath felt desperately close. In that moment, I gained trust. From a capricious partner who was hard to believe in.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
When my breathing calmed down, I held back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. Without realizing it, there were times when I noticed something strange about you and wanted to tell you about it. I struggled to hold back my hesitation, trying to cover my mouth in response to your offer to grant my wishes.
Please send me affectionate messages. Call me more often than you text me. Come to see me more often than that. I hope we have more time together than the days we’ve already spent together.
Even though I had so many things I wanted to say, I felt overwhelmed because I had kept my feelings locked up, thinking I wouldn’t have the opportunity to express them.
“If I say I love you, please tell me you love me too. Hyung, you… You’ve never once told me you love me.”
So, this is the phrase I finally let out. It was the most hurtful, and that’s why I had never dared to think about it.
When I was so easily swayed by your every expression and word, you must have figured out my feelings long before I did. There’s no way someone as perceptive as you couldn’t have guessed my feelings. And you probably enjoyed how much I liked you. So, that’s why you treated me so casually.
So, when did that feeling actually change? When did it become serious and weighty? I was curious. I wanted to ask why you fell in love with me. But there was something more important than that. Now, what’s important to me is your unwavering love.
“I’ve told Hyung several times.”
“…”
“Hyung just smiled every time, making me confused…”
“…Sorry.”
His endlessly whispering apologies, his two arms embracing me tightly as if squeezing my body, and his nose brushing against my neck were all so endearing. Maybe that’s why my heart melted so easily.
“Not that.”
Even though my voice was calm, I couldn’t hide my impatience. I shook my head to interrupt him. When only the sounds of our breaths and racing hearts filled the air, Tae Seong-je finally spoke again.
“I love you. More than you think.”
It felt awkward as if it was the first time he said he loved me. But there was no hesitation in his voice. That’s enough. No, it’s more than enough. It’s overwhelming.
“I love you too.”
His hold on me finally relaxed. I turned slowly around to face Tae Seong-je. The man, who was always full of confidence, had a pitiful expression on his face. I couldn’t hide the crookedness in my eyes, but neither could I hide the smile on my lips.
As I got closer and lowered my head, he closed his eyes. I slowly pressed my lips against his and kissed him affectionately. It was a gentle kiss, nothing rushed, just filled with affection. He entrusted himself to my hands and laid down in the sunset. I followed suit, sinking into and savoring the moment.
The sounds I heard in my ears were like harmonies you could only find underwater. If I had to die, I wanted to drown in this ocean named you. Death is scary. But I felt like I wouldn’t be afraid of any death if I died in your arms.
When we resurfaced, I whispered my desires, asking him to protect me, not to make me wait, not to leave me lonely… And he promised me. He promised to protect me, not to make me wait, and to keep me from being lonely.
I believed his words firmly. Because it was he who said them.
After roughly rinsing off and returning to the bedroom, the first thing I did was look for my bag. I took out my laptop from inside. I leisurely rubbed my wet hair with a dry towel and placed the cursor on the file containing all my memories.
I deleted the memory file while listening to the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom. I didn’t delete everything, but more than a year of memories that I had meticulously accumulated disappeared cleanly with a single click. It felt incredibly hollow.
It could be a mistake. Also, I may have made a stupid choice. They say love makes you stupid, so maybe I’m doing something crazy. Still, it was fine. Still, it was good. After all, too much time has passed. This was the limit. I didn’t want to hang on to a false hope any longer when happiness was right in front of me.
“What are you doing there?”
I just smiled as I watched him rubbing his wet hair.
“Nothing.”
If the circumstances changed and there was no longer any need for hesitation, I would seize the present day, this very moment, and the you in front of my eyes.
