“Hold on, say again?” Roger asked, turning the captain’s chair around to face me.
I grinned and leaned casually against the doorway to the bridge. “Ship’s fixed.”
The bridge was much like our old one, only bigger and with more glass. Same crazy strong material as the last windows too. I guess the badgers couldn’t improve on perfection. We had rearranged things a little to bring it in line with human ergonomics, though. Entirely new chairs had to be printed, new flight controls for Gloria, and new stations for everyone else. Hell, even the steps from the raised section at the rear of the bridge down to the lower section had to be replaced.
Retrofitting the ship to make it usable for humans hadn’t stopped at the bridge, not by a long shot. I’d completely torn everything out of my room, then slapped a wall down to section off the back third. The front area had been turned into a little workshop that I could use to tinker away with personal projects. The rear was my actual bedroom, much smaller, cozier and with multiple levels like a funny little cat tree.
The others had all done similar things to their rooms, kitting them out in ways that made them feel a little more like a home. Cerri, for example, had added all sorts of little nooks with pillows and a very ambitious reading corner. Ambitious because it had an actual bookshelf where she wanted to put real physical books. Where she planned to get those books, I’m not sure.
Roger’s expression broadened into a huge smile. “Good job. We can finally get back to exploring.”
“Ah… about that,” I grimaced. “Can we have a crew meeting?”
My words took a little of the wind out of his sails, but he nodded nevertheless. “Let me call everyone to the rec room.”
The bridge was by itself at the top of the ship, so we had an awkward elevator ride down to the main crew deck. The rest of the crew ambled up to the rec room in short order, all of us gathering around one of the tables. Even Turshie was present on a tablet in Gloria’s lap.
“Thanks for coming, everyone,” Roger said, smiling around the table. “Alia has something important to tell us.”
I immediately shrank down into my seat and hid behind my tail. Don’t put me on the spot like that!
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Well, the ship is fixed and ready to go. That’s what she just told me anyway. You also had something else you wanted to talk about?”
I nodded, but having everyone look at me like that had robbed me of words.
Cerri’s hand landed protectively on top of my head as she said, “Yeah. Alia and I are probably going to take a week out of the game for a bit. She’s been working non-stop and we have to go to see our— wait I can’t say that.”
“Wait, is this what I think it is?” Turshie asked excitedly.
David and Ed both immediately went all suspicious mode. I could almost see their hackles rise in slow motion.
“What can’t you tell us?” David asked, eyes narrowed.
“Well, that would be telling,” Cerri replied mildly. “It’s a digital person thing. Hence why Turshie knows.”
“I’d be happier if you give us a hint,” he grumbled, glancing at Ed for support.
“Don’t look at me, Dave,” Ed said quickly, holding his hands up. “I’m still working my way into their good books.”
Looking up at Cerri, I mumbled, “Can’t we tell them anything? They’re just worried about me.”
“I’m not sure,” she sighed, deflating a little. “Honestly, I wish I could just tell you all, but I can’t. It’s a matter of safety for all digital persons, not just the three of us here.”
David's expression was both frustrated and resigned. With a nod, he rubbed at his eyes and laid his head down wearily onto Ed's shoulder.
Placing a kiss onto his boyfriend's head, Ed gave Cerri a cautious smile. "Forgive him. He's always been a bit of a protective older brother, but ever since she's been… uh, you know. Just, look after her for us, will you? She's like a kid sister to us."
I couldn't have kept my heartfelt grin down if I'd wanted to. Ed was back to being the chill one! It made me sort of happy to think of them as my older brothers. An adoptive family to replace the trash one I was born into.
"Give me some credit," Cerri scoffed, bristling slightly. "I've been doing my damned best, unlike some people."
Whoa, what? Cerri looked… she looked really annoyed!
Ed, taken aback by her outburst, snapped his mouth shut.
David pulled his head up off his boyfriend's shoulder, looking pissed. "Hey, that's not on, he apologised."
"Sure," she said cooly. "Look, I'm sorry but you two have been fumbling around in the dark while Alia deals with some nasty shit. I get that you're protective or whatever, but I'm sick of this oh, you better look after her, bullshit. I've been there for her every single step of this journey. I… I pulled her code back together when…"
She trailed off, choking up as she remembered what had happened to me after the aether explosion. Dropping my tail, I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her tight. I was so confused. Where was this all coming from? I mean sure, she had a point. It wasn't the guys who'd been there through most of my recent stuff, but normally she was so much calmer. Why was she freaking out?
"Thank you," I whispered into her ear. "Thank you, for everything. For being my friend. Thank you."
I had no idea what else to say to her. I guess we really needed this break. Cerri especially.
"What happened with her code?" David asked, thankfully more subdued now.
"Can't tell you," I told him apologetically. "Not yet. There's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that… well, yeah. It's complicated. Cerri's amazing though, she's been amazing the whole time. She really does deserve a little more credit. Plus, I am my own person too. I don't need your permission to make friends or make life decisions."
Saying those words was… extremely difficult. Confrontation terrified me, especially between friends, like it was here. I needed to stand up for Cerri though, and to stand up for myself.
I hadn't realised it until now, but they'd sort of been treating me as less of a free thinking person since I'd become Alia. It was a subtle form of sexism, ingrained and subconscious, but it existed. The idea that every woman needed protecting from every little thing, that because they saw me as their little sister, they also had a right to veto my decisions or choose who I was allowed to hang out with.
On the other hand, of course, there was the fact that I was a total mess and completely incapable of social interaction, but that's besides the point. Just because I was weak in certain aspects of life doesn't mean I lost the right to self determination and shit.
Both boys were staring at me in shock, which was rapidly morphing into chagrin. "Sorry," David muttered, averting his eyes.
Ed lifted a hand to rub at his face for a moment. "Alright. Humble pie received and consumed. Sorry, Alia. Sorry, Cerri."
"Oh um… it's okay. Still love you guys," I said, feeling terrible about the whole thing. Hurting them sucked.
Gloria let out a long, low whistle. "Girl's growing some… uh… ovaries. What happened to the girl who couldn't speak?"
"Cerri did," Roger said, a subtle smile dancing in his eyes. "Cerri and everyone else here at this table. Including David and Ed. Plus Alia herself, of course."
He was silent for a few moments, eyeing each of us in turn before he continued. "Every one of us here, we've been living together on this ship for… god, almost a year now, I think? We're basically family, but we're also getting on each other's nerves in the same way. I think that a good break from the game is definitely in order."
"I'll stay on board, I think," Warren said softly. "As a skeleton crew of sorts. There's nowhere else for me to go."
We all turned to look at him. He'd been quiet recently, more quiet than usual. It was only now that I was realising that something was up with him.
"What's wrong, my dude?" Jason asked, leaning over to pat the smaller guy's back.
Warren's answering smile was an odd mix of excitement and melancholy. "The next time I log out will be my last, I think. Meatsack is failing. My family is gathering to say goodbye before I uh… follow in Alia's footsteps. It's extremely strange to know I'll go on living just fine, probably freer than I've ever been, but then my family is pulling an Ed on me."
"Not recommended," Ed muttered under his breath.
"Definitely more free than meatsackdom," I grinned. "Trust me, there's a lot going on in digital person land. A lot more than you might think. It's exciting."
"Oh no," Jason remarked dryly. "The computers are being cryptic again."
"Oi!" I exclaimed, throwing a space cushion at him. I had printed so many of them.
He ducked it and laughed. "One V one me IRL! Oh wait…"
I tried to glare at him, but it didn't work. Damn mouth betraying me, all grinning and stuff.
Jason had succeeded in lifting the mood back up though, which had been sorely needed. Too much arguing and depressing talk.
Still, what Warren was dealing with did suck, and I looked back to him and said, "Three of us are already digital. We'll help you out when the time comes. Turshie is working on a secret handshake for the club, so we'll teach that to you as well."
"Wait, I am?" Our ship AI squeaked from her place on the tablet. "Oh god, did I forget to do something again? Oh god, oh god. Can I have an extension? I haven't got anything ready and… ah, I don't even know how to develop a handshake! Are there rules I need to follow?"
There was a befuddled silence from the rest of the crew as we all tried to figure out what was going on. Then, quietly, Gloria turned the tablet around and placed a hand on top like she was patting Turshie.
"Liss, she's joking, calm down," Gloria said gently.
I picked up on the different name immediately, but I kept my mouth shut. Turshie wanted the rest of us to use her ingame name still, so that's what I was going to do. Still interesting that she'd given another name to Gloria though. I wonder what was happening between them.
"Oh," Turshie said slowly, her big anime cheeks going pink. "I'm dumb."
Gloria shook her head. "Not dumb. Just a little slow on the uptake sometimes. It's okay."
Cerri and I shared a look as we watched the little scene unfold. The look in Gloria's eyes was almost uncharacteristically tender and caring. Cerri was smiling too, looking on with curiosity and… something else. It almost looked like the expression a kid had when they got back through the front door after a long day at school.
Turning my attention back to Warren, I gave him a smile. "As you can see, you'll be in good company."
He laughed and leaned back in his chair. "I was sort of worried about that."
"There's a ton of other awesome stuff about being digital too," I went on. "You can do time dilation stuff, for one. You also don't need to eat and drink unless you want to, and when you do you can totally pig out. There's so much good stuff about being digital. I love it."
"Yeah," he nodded, a big smile on his face now. "I'm looking forward to it, honestly. Being free. It's just dealing with my family that's the problem. I'll sort that though, no need to worry."
"If you ever need help, let us know," Roger said, before turning his attention back to the rest of us. "Alright, it's settled then. We'll hide the ship in the debris field and take a break for a week. Interact with some people who aren't each other, blow off some steam. Shore leave."
The round of nods that came from the crew was eager and weary in equal measure. God, we'd been through a lot.
“Hold on, say again?” Roger asked, turning the captain’s chair around to face me.
I grinned and leaned casually against the doorway to the bridge. “Ship’s fixed.”
The bridge was much like our old one, only bigger and with more glass. Same crazy strong material as the last windows too. I guess the badgers couldn’t improve on perfection. We had rearranged things a little to bring it in line with human ergonomics, though. Entirely new chairs had to be printed, new flight controls for Gloria, and new stations for everyone else. Hell, even the steps from the raised section at the rear of the bridge down to the lower section had to be replaced.
Retrofitting the ship to make it usable for humans hadn’t stopped at the bridge, not by a long shot. I’d completely torn everything out of my room, then slapped a wall down to section off the back third. The front area had been turned into a little workshop that I could use to tinker away with personal projects. The rear was my actual bedroom, much smaller, cozier and with multiple levels like a funny little cat tree.
The others had all done similar things to their rooms, kitting them out in ways that made them feel a little more like a home. Cerri, for example, had added all sorts of little nooks with pillows and a very ambitious reading corner. Ambitious because it had an actual bookshelf where she wanted to put real physical books. Where she planned to get those books, I’m not sure.
Roger’s expression broadened into a huge smile. “Good job. We can finally get back to exploring.”
“Ah… about that,” I grimaced. “Can we have a crew meeting?”
My words took a little of the wind out of his sails, but he nodded nevertheless. “Let me call everyone to the rec room.”
The bridge was by itself at the top of the ship, so we had an awkward elevator ride down to the main crew deck. The rest of the crew ambled up to the rec room in short order, all of us gathering around one of the tables. Even Turshie was present on a tablet in Gloria’s lap.
“Thanks for coming, everyone,” Roger said, smiling around the table. “Alia has something important to tell us.”
I immediately shrank down into my seat and hid behind my tail. Don’t put me on the spot like that!
“Sorry,” he chuckled. “Well, the ship is fixed and ready to go. That’s what she just told me anyway. You also had something else you wanted to talk about?”
I nodded, but having everyone look at me like that had robbed me of words.
Cerri’s hand landed protectively on top of my head as she said, “Yeah. Alia and I are probably going to take a week out of the game for a bit. She’s been working non-stop and we have to go to see our— wait I can’t say that.”
“Wait, is this what I think it is?” Turshie asked excitedly.
David and Ed both immediately went all suspicious mode. I could almost see their hackles rise in slow motion.
“What can’t you tell us?” David asked, eyes narrowed.
“Well, that would be telling,” Cerri replied mildly. “It’s a digital person thing. Hence why Turshie knows.”
“I’d be happier if you give us a hint,” he grumbled, glancing at Ed for support.
“Don’t look at me, Dave,” Ed said quickly, holding his hands up. “I’m still working my way into their good books.”
Looking up at Cerri, I mumbled, “Can’t we tell them anything? They’re just worried about me.”
“I’m not sure,” she sighed, deflating a little. “Honestly, I wish I could just tell you all, but I can’t. It’s a matter of safety for all digital persons, not just the three of us here.”
David's expression was both frustrated and resigned. With a nod, he rubbed at his eyes and laid his head down wearily onto Ed's shoulder.
Placing a kiss onto his boyfriend's head, Ed gave Cerri a cautious smile. "Forgive him. He's always been a bit of a protective older brother, but ever since she's been… uh, you know. Just, look after her for us, will you? She's like a kid sister to us."
I couldn't have kept my heartfelt grin down if I'd wanted to. Ed was back to being the chill one! It made me sort of happy to think of them as my older brothers. An adoptive family to replace the trash one I was born into.
"Give me some credit," Cerri scoffed, bristling slightly. "I've been doing my damned best, unlike some people."
Whoa, what? Cerri looked… she looked really annoyed!
Ed, taken aback by her outburst, snapped his mouth shut.
David pulled his head up off his boyfriend's shoulder, looking pissed. "Hey, that's not on, he apologised."
"Sure," she said cooly. "Look, I'm sorry but you two have been fumbling around in the dark while Alia deals with some nasty shit. I get that you're protective or whatever, but I'm sick of this oh, you better look after her, bullshit. I've been there for her every single step of this journey. I… I pulled her code back together when…"
She trailed off, choking up as she remembered what had happened to me after the aether explosion. Dropping my tail, I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her tight. I was so confused. Where was this all coming from? I mean sure, she had a point. It wasn't the guys who'd been there through most of my recent stuff, but normally she was so much calmer. Why was she freaking out?
"Thank you," I whispered into her ear. "Thank you, for everything. For being my friend. Thank you."
I had no idea what else to say to her. I guess we really needed this break. Cerri especially.
"What happened with her code?" David asked, thankfully more subdued now.
"Can't tell you," I told him apologetically. "Not yet. There's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that… well, yeah. It's complicated. Cerri's amazing though, she's been amazing the whole time. She really does deserve a little more credit. Plus, I am my own person too. I don't need your permission to make friends or make life decisions."
Saying those words was… extremely difficult. Confrontation terrified me, especially between friends, like it was here. I needed to stand up for Cerri though, and to stand up for myself.
I hadn't realised it until now, but they'd sort of been treating me as less of a free thinking person since I'd become Alia. It was a subtle form of sexism, ingrained and subconscious, but it existed. The idea that every woman needed protecting from every little thing, that because they saw me as their little sister, they also had a right to veto my decisions or choose who I was allowed to hang out with.
On the other hand, of course, there was the fact that I was a total mess and completely incapable of social interaction, but that's besides the point. Just because I was weak in certain aspects of life doesn't mean I lost the right to self determination and shit.
Both boys were staring at me in shock, which was rapidly morphing into chagrin. "Sorry," David muttered, averting his eyes.
Ed lifted a hand to rub at his face for a moment. "Alright. Humble pie received and consumed. Sorry, Alia. Sorry, Cerri."
"Oh um… it's okay. Still love you guys," I said, feeling terrible about the whole thing. Hurting them sucked.
Gloria let out a long, low whistle. "Girl's growing some… uh… ovaries. What happened to the girl who couldn't speak?"
"Cerri did," Roger said, a subtle smile dancing in his eyes. "Cerri and everyone else here at this table. Including David and Ed. Plus Alia herself, of course."
He was silent for a few moments, eyeing each of us in turn before he continued. "Every one of us here, we've been living together on this ship for… god, almost a year now, I think? We're basically family, but we're also getting on each other's nerves in the same way. I think that a good break from the game is definitely in order."
"I'll stay on board, I think," Warren said softly. "As a skeleton crew of sorts. There's nowhere else for me to go."
We all turned to look at him. He'd been quiet recently, more quiet than usual. It was only now that I was realising that something was up with him.
"What's wrong, my dude?" Jason asked, leaning over to pat the smaller guy's back.
Warren's answering smile was an odd mix of excitement and melancholy. "The next time I log out will be my last, I think. Meatsack is failing. My family is gathering to say goodbye before I uh… follow in Alia's footsteps. It's extremely strange to know I'll go on living just fine, probably freer than I've ever been, but then my family is pulling an Ed on me."
"Not recommended," Ed muttered under his breath.
"Definitely more free than meatsackdom," I grinned. "Trust me, there's a lot going on in digital person land. A lot more than you might think. It's exciting."
"Oh no," Jason remarked dryly. "The computers are being cryptic again."
"Oi!" I exclaimed, throwing a space cushion at him. I had printed so many of them.
He ducked it and laughed. "One V one me IRL! Oh wait…"
I tried to glare at him, but it didn't work. Damn mouth betraying me, all grinning and stuff.
Jason had succeeded in lifting the mood back up though, which had been sorely needed. Too much arguing and depressing talk.
Still, what Warren was dealing with did suck, and I looked back to him and said, "Three of us are already digital. We'll help you out when the time comes. Turshie is working on a secret handshake for the club, so we'll teach that to you as well."
"Wait, I am?" Our ship AI squeaked from her place on the tablet. "Oh god, did I forget to do something again? Oh god, oh god. Can I have an extension? I haven't got anything ready and… ah, I don't even know how to develop a handshake! Are there rules I need to follow?"
There was a befuddled silence from the rest of the crew as we all tried to figure out what was going on. Then, quietly, Gloria turned the tablet around and placed a hand on top like she was patting Turshie.
"Liss, she's joking, calm down," Gloria said gently.
I picked up on the different name immediately, but I kept my mouth shut. Turshie wanted the rest of us to use her ingame name still, so that's what I was going to do. Still interesting that she'd given another name to Gloria though. I wonder what was happening between them.
"Oh," Turshie said slowly, her big anime cheeks going pink. "I'm dumb."
Gloria shook her head. "Not dumb. Just a little slow on the uptake sometimes. It's okay."
Cerri and I shared a look as we watched the little scene unfold. The look in Gloria's eyes was almost uncharacteristically tender and caring. Cerri was smiling too, looking on with curiosity and… something else. It almost looked like the expression a kid had when they got back through the front door after a long day at school.
Turning my attention back to Warren, I gave him a smile. "As you can see, you'll be in good company."
He laughed and leaned back in his chair. "I was sort of worried about that."
"There's a ton of other awesome stuff about being digital too," I went on. "You can do time dilation stuff, for one. You also don't need to eat and drink unless you want to, and when you do you can totally pig out. There's so much good stuff about being digital. I love it."
"Yeah," he nodded, a big smile on his face now. "I'm looking forward to it, honestly. Being free. It's just dealing with my family that's the problem. I'll sort that though, no need to worry."
"If you ever need help, let us know," Roger said, before turning his attention back to the rest of us. "Alright, it's settled then. We'll hide the ship in the debris field and take a break for a week. Interact with some people who aren't each other, blow off some steam. Shore leave."
The round of nods that came from the crew was eager and weary in equal measure. God, we'd been through a lot.
