Chapter 140: Feeling Emotions
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"I'm definitely beating his a.s.s when we get him" Ming Ming muttered.
"Not if I get to him first." Ying Yue was just as bitter when she responded to Ming Ming. She was a fool to have believed today would be a good day, the second she felt like so this situation occurred. Over six months of preparation to have been destroyed and restructured within a matter of minutes.
Grabbing a random table she got on top and laid flat against it in a starfish position. Closing her eyes she controlled her breathing and channelled the anger out of her body. While she could force herself to become cold and shut down her emotions easily, around her friends she felt no need to. Feeling emotions was a privilege and learning how to control anger was important, leaving aside other emotions she felt anger was the most volatile. It could make you lose rationality and logic in unfavourable situations.
It was a common misconception that people who shut down their emotions were the stronger kind. Sure, there was a certain strength needed to be like that whether it was from trauma or they were born like that. The latter of which who usually turned out to be sociopaths or psychopaths because of their lack of feeling. Since they could not feel, they could not feel empathy and the basic care for humans. Which made murder and other heinous acts that much easier to commit.
The former people who learnt through trauma could easily hurt themselves if not careful. There was a stark difference between those who pushed it down to survive and never let themselves breathe versus those who properly navigated their emotions. When she was younger, she was three hundred times more reckless and was just trying to survive. Pushing down emotions, making herself feel cold was the only thing she knew how to do. It backfired on her one day and those memories still haunt her till this day.
Now, while she could still push her emotions down and do it when needed. It was not her first reaction nor did she force herself when she did not need to. Letting herself feel certain emotions no matter what they were, to her, was a privilege and something she planned on using while she had the chance. Being next to Neo and Ming Ming was the safest location for her to be and knew that she could 'feel in peace.'
Navigating her anger was through a 1-24-7 system depending on how angry she was. One hour maximum to feel and let the emotions run its course for minor issues, then after that she is back to normal. The "24" were the hours she gave herself to grieve or deal with set emotion for medium issues. If after that she still was not okay, she gave herself seven days to get over major issues and become normal after that.
Of course, if she was on a mission this system was not feasible but worked well for her during peaceful times. It also had to be said that there were little things that she could not get over within the first 24 hours. For it to reck her and need a seven day healing period, the situation must be completely earth shattering. She had already lost enough in this life so there were only a handful of things that she cared about to that extent.
Breathing in and out she let the anger flow through her while trying keep her mind clear. Her body was warm from the workout and the irritation she felt so staying still helped calm her down. There was only a little noise in the background as Ming Ming grumbled insults under her breath while tinkering with her new invention.
Neo knowing she was angry was fairly silent and pushed his rage onto the keyboard with aggressive typing. He was probably doing more background research for them and in his way, planning Wu Gang alias Blue 47's demise. They had to keep him alive but no one said they could not hurt him, humans could still function without a finger or two. She didn't even want to think about her to do list and how much of their plans they had to restructure.
Using the sounds around her she relaxed and within five minutes most of her anger had disappeared. It went from a strong frustration and anger to a more settled acceptance of what had to happen. Even if she hated to do it, there was no other way to achieve their goal without adjusting and taking the situation as it was. The military could not have him until they got what they wanted from him.
After another ten minutes her body had entered a serene state and she was starting to feel sleepy from how relaxed she was. Slapping her face she tried to get rid of the haze and wake herself up completely. Getting up from the table she rubbed her eyes before opening them and looking around the room.
Both Ming Ming and Neo were exactly where she had expected, immersed in whatever task they had in front of them. She felt a bit of hunger and wanted to get some fruit to tide her over till dinner. Just as she was getting up to head to the kitchen she felt Neo's mood shift.
His fingers stilled against the keyboard as a red alert appeared on his screen. It didn't take long before he started typing again but the pace and focus was completely different from before. He switched the screen and pulled up another portal he used to hack other computers while hiding his own location. Just based on these signs she knew that something had happened and there was a bit of shock that another problem had appeared.
It seemed that no matter how much she tried today would not end peacefully. Changing her direction she went towards Neo and tried to read the codes he was inputting into the system. The speed kept increasing but she could tell that there was some sort of back and forth attack happening.
She didn't want to interrupt Neo's focus but she could also not sit still without knowing what's happening. "Neo, what happened?"
It took him a couple of seconds to respond but when he did, she felt another shock wave through her.
"Someone's trying to look you up."
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"I'm definitely beating his a.s.s when we get him" Ming Ming muttered.
"Not if I get to him first." Ying Yue was just as bitter when she responded to Ming Ming. She was a fool to have believed today would be a good day, the second she felt like so this situation occurred. Over six months of preparation to have been destroyed and restructured within a matter of minutes.
Grabbing a random table she got on top and laid flat against it in a starfish position. Closing her eyes she controlled her breathing and channelled the anger out of her body. While she could force herself to become cold and shut down her emotions easily, around her friends she felt no need to. Feeling emotions was a privilege and learning how to control anger was important, leaving aside other emotions she felt anger was the most volatile. It could make you lose rationality and logic in unfavourable situations.
It was a common misconception that people who shut down their emotions were the stronger kind. Sure, there was a certain strength needed to be like that whether it was from trauma or they were born like that. The latter of which who usually turned out to be sociopaths or psychopaths because of their lack of feeling. Since they could not feel, they could not feel empathy and the basic care for humans. Which made murder and other heinous acts that much easier to commit.
The former people who learnt through trauma could easily hurt themselves if not careful. There was a stark difference between those who pushed it down to survive and never let themselves breathe versus those who properly navigated their emotions. When she was younger, she was three hundred times more reckless and was just trying to survive. Pushing down emotions, making herself feel cold was the only thing she knew how to do. It backfired on her one day and those memories still haunt her till this day.
Now, while she could still push her emotions down and do it when needed. It was not her first reaction nor did she force herself when she did not need to. Letting herself feel certain emotions no matter what they were, to her, was a privilege and something she planned on using while she had the chance. Being next to Neo and Ming Ming was the safest location for her to be and knew that she could 'feel in peace.'
Navigating her anger was through a 1-24-7 system depending on how angry she was. One hour maximum to feel and let the emotions run its course for minor issues, then after that she is back to normal. The "24" were the hours she gave herself to grieve or deal with set emotion for medium issues. If after that she still was not okay, she gave herself seven days to get over major issues and become normal after that.
Of course, if she was on a mission this system was not feasible but worked well for her during peaceful times. It also had to be said that there were little things that she could not get over within the first 24 hours. For it to reck her and need a seven day healing period, the situation must be completely earth shattering. She had already lost enough in this life so there were only a handful of things that she cared about to that extent.
Breathing in and out she let the anger flow through her while trying keep her mind clear. Her body was warm from the workout and the irritation she felt so staying still helped calm her down. There was only a little noise in the background as Ming Ming grumbled insults under her breath while tinkering with her new invention.
Neo knowing she was angry was fairly silent and pushed his rage onto the keyboard with aggressive typing. He was probably doing more background research for them and in his way, planning Wu Gang alias Blue 47's demise. They had to keep him alive but no one said they could not hurt him, humans could still function without a finger or two. She didn't even want to think about her to do list and how much of their plans they had to restructure.
Using the sounds around her she relaxed and within five minutes most of her anger had disappeared. It went from a strong frustration and anger to a more settled acceptance of what had to happen. Even if she hated to do it, there was no other way to achieve their goal without adjusting and taking the situation as it was. The military could not have him until they got what they wanted from him.
After another ten minutes her body had entered a serene state and she was starting to feel sleepy from how relaxed she was. Slapping her face she tried to get rid of the haze and wake herself up completely. Getting up from the table she rubbed her eyes before opening them and looking around the room.
Both Ming Ming and Neo were exactly where she had expected, immersed in whatever task they had in front of them. She felt a bit of hunger and wanted to get some fruit to tide her over till dinner. Just as she was getting up to head to the kitchen she felt Neo's mood shift.
His fingers stilled against the keyboard as a red alert appeared on his screen. It didn't take long before he started typing again but the pace and focus was completely different from before. He switched the screen and pulled up another portal he used to hack other computers while hiding his own location. Just based on these signs she knew that something had happened and there was a bit of shock that another problem had appeared.
It seemed that no matter how much she tried today would not end peacefully. Changing her direction she went towards Neo and tried to read the codes he was inputting into the system. The speed kept increasing but she could tell that there was some sort of back and forth attack happening.
She didn't want to interrupt Neo's focus but she could also not sit still without knowing what's happening. "Neo, what happened?"
It took him a couple of seconds to respond but when he did, she felt another shock wave through her.
"Someone's trying to look you up."
"I'm definitely beating his a.s.s when we get him" Ming Ming muttered. "Not if I get to him first." Ying Yue was just as bitter when she responded to Ming Ming. She was a fool to have believed today would be a good day, the second she felt like so this situation occurred. Over six months of preparation to have been destroyed and restructured within a matter of minutes. Grabbing a random table she got on top and laid flat against it in a starfish position. Closing her eyes she controlled her breathing and channelled the anger out of her body. While she could force herself to become cold and shut down her emotions easily, around her friends she felt no need to. Feeling emotions was a privilege and learning how to control anger was important, leaving aside other emotions she felt anger was the most volatile. It could make you lose rationality and logic in unfavourable situations. It was a common misconception that people who shut down their emotions were the stronger kind. Sure, there was a certain strength needed to be like that whether it was from trauma or they were born like that. The latter of which who usually turned out to be sociopaths or psychopaths because of their lack of feeling. Since they could not feel, they could not feel empathy and the basic care for humans. Which made murder and other heinous acts that much easier to commit. The former people who learnt through trauma could easily hurt themselves if not careful. There was a stark difference between those who pushed it down to survive and never let themselves breathe versus those who properly navigated their emotions. When she was younger, she was three hundred times more reckless and was just trying to survive. Pushing down emotions, making herself feel cold was the only thing she knew how to do. It backfired on her one day and those memories still haunt her till this day. Now, while she could still push her emotions down and do it when needed. It was not her first reaction nor did she force herself when she did not need to. Letting herself feel certain emotions no matter what they were, to her, was a privilege and something she planned on using while she had the chance. Being next to Neo and Ming Ming was the safest location for her to be and knew that she could 'feel in peace.' Navigating her anger was through a 1-24-7 system depending on how angry she was. One hour maximum to feel and let the emotions run its course for minor issues, then after that she is back to normal. The "24" were the hours she gave herself to grieve or deal with set emotion for medium issues. If after that she still was not okay, she gave herself seven days to get over major issues and become normal after that. Of course, if she was on a mission this system was not feasible but worked well for her during peaceful times. It also had to be said that there were little things that she could not get over within the first 24 hours. For it to reck her and need a seven day healing period, the situation must be completely earth shattering. She had already lost enough in this life so there were only a handful of things that she cared about to that extent. Breathing in and out she let the anger flow through her while trying keep her mind clear. Her body was warm from the workout and the irritation she felt so staying still helped calm her down. There was only a little noise in the background as Ming Ming grumbled insults under her breath while tinkering with her new invention. Neo knowing she was angry was fairly silent and pushed his rage onto the keyboard with aggressive typing. He was probably doing more background research for them and in his way, planning Wu Gang alias Blue 47's demise. They had to keep him alive but no one said they could not hurt him, humans could still function without a finger or two. She didn't even want to think about her to do list and how much of their plans they had to restructure. Using the sounds around her she relaxed and within five minutes most of her anger had disappeared. It went from a strong frustration and anger to a more settled acceptance of what had to happen. Even if she hated to do it, there was no other way to achieve their goal without adjusting and taking the situation as it was. The military could not have him until they got what they wanted from him. After another ten minutes her body had entered a serene state and she was starting to feel sleepy from how relaxed she was. Slapping her face she tried to get rid of the haze and wake herself up completely. Getting up from the table she rubbed her eyes before opening them and looking around the room. Both Ming Ming and Neo were exactly where she had expected, immersed in whatever task they had in front of them. She felt a bit of hunger and wanted to get some fruit to tide her over till dinner. Just as she was getting up to head to the kitchen she felt Neo's mood shift. His fingers stilled against the keyboard as a red alert appeared on his screen. It didn't take long before he started typing again but the pace and focus was completely different from before. He switched the screen and pulled up another portal he used to hack other computers while hiding his own location. Just based on these signs she knew that something had happened and there was a bit of shock that another problem had appeared. It seemed that no matter how much she tried today would not end peacefully. Changing her direction she went towards Neo and tried to read the codes he was inputting into the system. The speed kept increasing but she could tell that there was some sort of back and forth attack happening. She didn't want to interrupt Neo's focus but she could also not sit still without knowing what's happening. "Neo, what happened?" It took him a couple of seconds to respond but when he did, she felt another shock wave through her. "Someone's trying to look you up."
