Chapter 172: Heavy Considerations Pt.4
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'He doesn't love me isn't this a perfect timing?'
Her thoughts quickly became more and more depressing. It was clear that there wasn't love between them and even the feelings they were experiencing weren't well classified. You could call it 'like' or 'infatuation.' She knew as much as she was inexperienced, Xi Long wasn't a complete love guru either. His statements about being single this entire time was believable, for her to be the first girl he's ever liked? Not so much.
Regardless of either option, he treated her quite well. She was just unsure if those feelings he had would develop in to something serious or stay at the weird stage they were at. Surely if they continued on their current trajectory it would get more complicated between them. Cutting it now seemed like the perfect timing, they ended on fairly positive memories. Albeit, there would be some regret and dissatisfaction for the way it ended. Though she estimated with their lives it would be easier to forget and move on after some time. Ending it later would be significantly harder and she would risk their security for that period of time.
She felt another pang in her head, it was the seventh one from today. At this point she felt a huge migraine coming from the mini-headaches she was feeling. Massaging her temples harder she forced herself to stay on track.
'The timing is both great and bloody awkward...I can't do it today but when is too soon or too late...?"
There were a lot of vague feelings between them that made it hard for her to call a clean cut. Especially since yesterday was when she gave her verbal confirmation to their confirmation. At that point she felt pretty secure in her choice and had decided to give it a go. Without her coming to an agreement mentally with herself, she would not have taken her mask off at dinner in front of Zhuang Wei. All parties there knew it was her form of putting her guard down and extending her trust to them. That extended to her tools and her full personality, she didn't intentionally hide her personality in front of them. All of this was an act of courage on her part.
That courage is also what made her take the first move last night in saying goodnight. Considering how sweet they left off, it was annoying to be placed in this situation. The rage she felt towards Zhuang Wei that had settled from Neo's attack was reignited again.
"I can see the look in your eyes, you're thinking about Zhuang Wei aren't you?"
Neo had left her to think this entire time, he knew it was a struggle for her and she would overthink every portion. However, the instant anger graced her face he added in his commentary. It didn't distract her from her current feeling and just nodded in response to him. He was not wrong after all, it was Zhuang Wei she was angry with.
"You know if you were going to be angry you should've let me be more mean? I still had quite a couple tricks up my hand. I could've wiped information off the computer or planted a virus to blackout half the screen, auto-type, etcetera. Anything to make his life harder than it is. All you had to do was give me the go ahead."
"No, nothing good would have came out of that. Its just that I wish he was in front of me so I could beat."
Just thinking about how many problems could have been avoided and what could have happened if he tried this nonsense later. Logically, the later he was with this betrayal the more benefits she could have reaped from this relationship. At the very least, she could have enjoyed their sweet moment a bit longer before reality hit her like this.
Yet, just as quick as that came in she dismissed it. This attack was technically at a perfect timing and they were able to catch it early. A later time had no guarantee of them catching it again, despite Neo's feverous assurance.
"Okay stop stop stop. You've been grumbling over here for twenty minutes and have made no conclusions. Right."
His tone wasn't even questioning, he spoke knowing that she hadn't come to a clear answer. Her brain was in disarray and had been jumping back and forth while thinking. Usually, she was good at thinking under stress but it was the first time to think so deeply about her personal matters. Strategy meetings, espionage missions, all of these things were easy for her to focus on and she wouldn't take more than the necessary time to decide key matters. So if she had spent this much time and achieved nothing but a headache, there wasn't any merit to keep thinking about it.
"I'm stopping okay, why don't you just tell me what to do?" She spoke back with an exasperated tone.
"I told you what to do fifteen minutes ago, did you listen to me? No, then you spent another fifteen on your own just to waste your time. You seriously have a problem with overthinking and relaxing. Just go with the flow on this matter and let Ming Ming and I cover the rest. We're not so weak that we can't support you in a romantic relationship."
"But..."
"No buts, if you keep insisting that means you're doubting Ming Ming and I's skills. You hear that Ming Ming? She's calling us WEAK and UNRELIABLE."
Her eyes narrowed when she heard his sentences, it was an obvious trap for her to fall into. Instigating Ming Ming and calling her over like this was just a way to get back at her. There was no way she could or would agree to that statement. She obviously knew how capable they were and how strong they were. Despite all this, she was still unsure and that was her own insecurity.
Neo speaking like this spun her words negatively to give another meaning to her words. She didn't want them to think that that was her true meaning. It was all about her and nothing to do with them but she now that he brought it up, she could see what he meant. Trying to convince a friend for this long and they still don't believe you? It was a bit hard not to get offended even if they were life long friends.
She could tell that Neo himself knew that it was because she doubted herself and was self-blaming. However, opening it up to Ming Ming was sure to give rise to the other meaning. Especially since he worded it as such, he was just forcing her into a corner. A small chuckle escaped her as she heard the footsteps running behind her.
She knew the words would trigger Ming Ming and as expected she came immediately.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WEAK AND UNRELIABLE!!!!!"
The words were shouted out and grew louder as the distance closed between them. The impact of her jumping onto her was not felt but instead Ming Ming's run stopped dead in front of her.
"Now explain to me why you think such, if its not a good enough reasoning I'm going to drag you back into training and beat you up for sure. Don't think I'm joking!! I can be angry too!! There's no right answer so hurry up!!!"
"You've listened to everything so far, why are you acting like you don't know what Neo is doing? And if there is no right answer how can I respond peacefully??"
"Just because Neo said it purposefully does not mean there isn't any truth in his words. I know you don't mean it, that much we can understand. Doesn't mean that we like to hear such words, you have to have a little faith in us and yourself. Its a bloody relationship for gods sake, not a terminal disease or marriage. Its nothing that you can't change or end later, there are no final terms here. You're stressing out way toooooooo much for this. There is a fine a.s.s man waiting for you outside, trying to treat you right and let you experience knew things. Things that both you and I know you want to do! So if you don't just shut your brain up for one second and let it happen. So help me god I will beat you up and take him for myself!!!!"
"He's not even your type Ming Ming, please trying to make your threats more 'threatening.'"
"YOU."
Ying Yue's comment warranted another hit onto her head, this time hard enough for the pain to last. It also was enough for her to finally start listening to them, she only added her own joke to tease Ming Ming. There was no way that she would like Xi Long, her type was completely different and they never eyed each others things like that.
The threat was a joke but comedic, 'I really would be dumb to let go of him huh?'
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'He doesn't love me isn't this a perfect timing?'
Her thoughts quickly became more and more depressing. It was clear that there wasn't love between them and even the feelings they were experiencing weren't well classified. You could call it 'like' or 'infatuation.' She knew as much as she was inexperienced, Xi Long wasn't a complete love guru either. His statements about being single this entire time was believable, for her to be the first girl he's ever liked? Not so much.
Regardless of either option, he treated her quite well. She was just unsure if those feelings he had would develop in to something serious or stay at the weird stage they were at. Surely if they continued on their current trajectory it would get more complicated between them. Cutting it now seemed like the perfect timing, they ended on fairly positive memories. Albeit, there would be some regret and dissatisfaction for the way it ended. Though she estimated with their lives it would be easier to forget and move on after some time. Ending it later would be significantly harder and she would risk their security for that period of time.
She felt another pang in her head, it was the seventh one from today. At this point she felt a huge migraine coming from the mini-headaches she was feeling. Massaging her temples harder she forced herself to stay on track.
'The timing is both great and bloody awkward...I can't do it today but when is too soon or too late...?"
There were a lot of vague feelings between them that made it hard for her to call a clean cut. Especially since yesterday was when she gave her verbal confirmation to their confirmation. At that point she felt pretty secure in her choice and had decided to give it a go. Without her coming to an agreement mentally with herself, she would not have taken her mask off at dinner in front of Zhuang Wei. All parties there knew it was her form of putting her guard down and extending her trust to them. That extended to her tools and her full personality, she didn't intentionally hide her personality in front of them. All of this was an act of courage on her part.
That courage is also what made her take the first move last night in saying goodnight. Considering how sweet they left off, it was annoying to be placed in this situation. The rage she felt towards Zhuang Wei that had settled from Neo's attack was reignited again.
"I can see the look in your eyes, you're thinking about Zhuang Wei aren't you?"
Neo had left her to think this entire time, he knew it was a struggle for her and she would overthink every portion. However, the instant anger graced her face he added in his commentary. It didn't distract her from her current feeling and just nodded in response to him. He was not wrong after all, it was Zhuang Wei she was angry with.
"You know if you were going to be angry you should've let me be more mean? I still had quite a couple tricks up my hand. I could've wiped information off the computer or planted a virus to blackout half the screen, auto-type, etcetera. Anything to make his life harder than it is. All you had to do was give me the go ahead."
"No, nothing good would have came out of that. Its just that I wish he was in front of me so I could beat."
Just thinking about how many problems could have been avoided and what could have happened if he tried this nonsense later. Logically, the later he was with this betrayal the more benefits she could have reaped from this relationship. At the very least, she could have enjoyed their sweet moment a bit longer before reality hit her like this.
Yet, just as quick as that came in she dismissed it. This attack was technically at a perfect timing and they were able to catch it early. A later time had no guarantee of them catching it again, despite Neo's feverous assurance.
"Okay stop stop stop. You've been grumbling over here for twenty minutes and have made no conclusions. Right."
His tone wasn't even questioning, he spoke knowing that she hadn't come to a clear answer. Her brain was in disarray and had been jumping back and forth while thinking. Usually, she was good at thinking under stress but it was the first time to think so deeply about her personal matters. Strategy meetings, espionage missions, all of these things were easy for her to focus on and she wouldn't take more than the necessary time to decide key matters. So if she had spent this much time and achieved nothing but a headache, there wasn't any merit to keep thinking about it.
"I'm stopping okay, why don't you just tell me what to do?" She spoke back with an exasperated tone.
"I told you what to do fifteen minutes ago, did you listen to me? No, then you spent another fifteen on your own just to waste your time. You seriously have a problem with overthinking and relaxing. Just go with the flow on this matter and let Ming Ming and I cover the rest. We're not so weak that we can't support you in a romantic relationship."
"But..."
"No buts, if you keep insisting that means you're doubting Ming Ming and I's skills. You hear that Ming Ming? She's calling us WEAK and UNRELIABLE."
Her eyes narrowed when she heard his sentences, it was an obvious trap for her to fall into. Instigating Ming Ming and calling her over like this was just a way to get back at her. There was no way she could or would agree to that statement. She obviously knew how capable they were and how strong they were. Despite all this, she was still unsure and that was her own insecurity.
Neo speaking like this spun her words negatively to give another meaning to her words. She didn't want them to think that that was her true meaning. It was all about her and nothing to do with them but she now that he brought it up, she could see what he meant. Trying to convince a friend for this long and they still don't believe you? It was a bit hard not to get offended even if they were life long friends.
She could tell that Neo himself knew that it was because she doubted herself and was self-blaming. However, opening it up to Ming Ming was sure to give rise to the other meaning. Especially since he worded it as such, he was just forcing her into a corner. A small chuckle escaped her as she heard the footsteps running behind her.
She knew the words would trigger Ming Ming and as expected she came immediately.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WEAK AND UNRELIABLE!!!!!"
The words were shouted out and grew louder as the distance closed between them. The impact of her jumping onto her was not felt but instead Ming Ming's run stopped dead in front of her.
"Now explain to me why you think such, if its not a good enough reasoning I'm going to drag you back into training and beat you up for sure. Don't think I'm joking!! I can be angry too!! There's no right answer so hurry up!!!"
"You've listened to everything so far, why are you acting like you don't know what Neo is doing? And if there is no right answer how can I respond peacefully??"
"Just because Neo said it purposefully does not mean there isn't any truth in his words. I know you don't mean it, that much we can understand. Doesn't mean that we like to hear such words, you have to have a little faith in us and yourself. Its a bloody relationship for gods sake, not a terminal disease or marriage. Its nothing that you can't change or end later, there are no final terms here. You're stressing out way toooooooo much for this. There is a fine a.s.s man waiting for you outside, trying to treat you right and let you experience knew things. Things that both you and I know you want to do! So if you don't just shut your brain up for one second and let it happen. So help me god I will beat you up and take him for myself!!!!"
"He's not even your type Ming Ming, please trying to make your threats more 'threatening.'"
"YOU."
Ying Yue's comment warranted another hit onto her head, this time hard enough for the pain to last. It also was enough for her to finally start listening to them, she only added her own joke to tease Ming Ming. There was no way that she would like Xi Long, her type was completely different and they never eyed each others things like that.
The threat was a joke but comedic, 'I really would be dumb to let go of him huh?'
'He doesn't love me isn't this a perfect timing?' Her thoughts quickly became more and more depressing. It was clear that there wasn't love between them and even the feelings they were experiencing weren't well classified. You could call it 'like' or 'infatuation.' She knew as much as she was inexperienced, Xi Long wasn't a complete love guru either. His statements about being single this entire time was believable, for her to be the first girl he's ever liked? Not so much. Regardless of either option, he treated her quite well. She was just unsure if those feelings he had would develop in to something serious or stay at the weird stage they were at. Surely if they continued on their current trajectory it would get more complicated between them. Cutting it now seemed like the perfect timing, they ended on fairly positive memories. Albeit, there would be some regret and dissatisfaction for the way it ended. Though she estimated with their lives it would be easier to forget and move on after some time. Ending it later would be significantly harder and she would risk their security for that period of time. She felt another pang in her head, it was the seventh one from today. At this point she felt a huge migraine coming from the mini-headaches she was feeling. Massaging her temples harder she forced herself to stay on track. 'The timing is both great and bloody awkward...I can't do it today but when is too soon or too late...?" There were a lot of vague feelings between them that made it hard for her to call a clean cut. Especially since yesterday was when she gave her verbal confirmation to their confirmation. At that point she felt pretty secure in her choice and had decided to give it a go. Without her coming to an agreement mentally with herself, she would not have taken her mask off at dinner in front of Zhuang Wei. All parties there knew it was her form of putting her guard down and extending her trust to them. That extended to her tools and her full personality, she didn't intentionally hide her personality in front of them. All of this was an act of courage on her part. That courage is also what made her take the first move last night in saying goodnight. Considering how sweet they left off, it was annoying to be placed in this situation. The rage she felt towards Zhuang Wei that had settled from Neo's attack was reignited again. "I can see the look in your eyes, you're thinking about Zhuang Wei aren't you?" Neo had left her to think this entire time, he knew it was a struggle for her and she would overthink every portion. However, the instant anger graced her face he added in his commentary. It didn't distract her from her current feeling and just nodded in response to him. He was not wrong after all, it was Zhuang Wei she was angry with. "You know if you were going to be angry you should've let me be more mean? I still had quite a couple tricks up my hand. I could've wiped information off the computer or planted a virus to blackout half the screen, auto-type, etcetera. Anything to make his life harder than it is. All you had to do was give me the go ahead." "No, nothing good would have came out of that. Its just that I wish he was in front of me so I could beat." Just thinking about how many problems could have been avoided and what could have happened if he tried this nonsense later. Logically, the later he was with this betrayal the more benefits she could have reaped from this relationship. At the very least, she could have enjoyed their sweet moment a bit longer before reality hit her like this. Yet, just as quick as that came in she dismissed it. This attack was technically at a perfect timing and they were able to catch it early. A later time had no guarantee of them catching it again, despite Neo's feverous assurance. "Okay stop stop stop. You've been grumbling over here for twenty minutes and have made no conclusions. Right." His tone wasn't even questioning, he spoke knowing that she hadn't come to a clear answer. Her brain was in disarray and had been jumping back and forth while thinking. Usually, she was good at thinking under stress but it was the first time to think so deeply about her personal matters. Strategy meetings, espionage missions, all of these things were easy for her to focus on and she wouldn't take more than the necessary time to decide key matters. So if she had spent this much time and achieved nothing but a headache, there wasn't any merit to keep thinking about it. "I'm stopping okay, why don't you just tell me what to do?" She spoke back with an exasperated tone. "I told you what to do fifteen minutes ago, did you listen to me? No, then you spent another fifteen on your own just to waste your time. You seriously have a problem with overthinking and relaxing. Just go with the flow on this matter and let Ming Ming and I cover the rest. We're not so weak that we can't support you in a romantic relationship." "But..." "No buts, if you keep insisting that means you're doubting Ming Ming and I's skills. You hear that Ming Ming? She's calling us WEAK and UNRELIABLE." Her eyes narrowed when she heard his sentences, it was an obvious trap for her to fall into. Instigating Ming Ming and calling her over like this was just a way to get back at her. There was no way she could or would agree to that statement. She obviously knew how capable they were and how strong they were. Despite all this, she was still unsure and that was her own insecurity. Neo speaking like this spun her words negatively to give another meaning to her words. She didn't want them to think that that was her true meaning. It was all about her and nothing to do with them but she now that he brought it up, she could see what he meant. Trying to convince a friend for this long and they still don't believe you? It was a bit hard not to get offended even if they were life long friends. She could tell that Neo himself knew that it was because she doubted herself and was self-blaming. However, opening it up to Ming Ming was sure to give rise to the other meaning. Especially since he worded it as such, he was just forcing her into a corner. A small chuckle escaped her as she heard the footsteps running behind her. She knew the words would trigger Ming Ming and as expected she came immediately. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WEAK AND UNRELIABLE!!!!!" The words were shouted out and grew louder as the distance closed between them. The impact of her jumping onto her was not felt but instead Ming Ming's run stopped dead in front of her. "Now explain to me why you think such, if its not a good enough reasoning I'm going to drag you back into training and beat you up for sure. Don't think I'm joking!! I can be angry too!! There's no right answer so hurry up!!!" "You've listened to everything so far, why are you acting like you don't know what Neo is doing? And if there is no right answer how can I respond peacefully??" "Just because Neo said it purposefully does not mean there isn't any truth in his words. I know you don't mean it, that much we can understand. Doesn't mean that we like to hear such words, you have to have a little faith in us and yourself. Its a bloody relationship for gods sake, not a terminal disease or marriage. Its nothing that you can't change or end later, there are no final terms here. You're stressing out way toooooooo much for this. There is a fine a.s.s man waiting for you outside, trying to treat you right and let you experience knew things. Things that both you and I know you want to do! So if you don't just shut your brain up for one second and let it happen. So help me god I will beat you up and take him for myself!!!!" "He's not even your type Ming Ming, please trying to make your threats more 'threatening.'" "YOU." Ying Yue's comment warranted another hit onto her head, this time hard enough for the pain to last. It also was enough for her to finally start listening to them, she only added her own joke to tease Ming Ming. There was no way that she would like Xi Long, her type was completely different and they never eyed each others things like that. The threat was a joke but comedic, 'I really would be dumb to let go of him huh?'
