She Xiao didn’t speak to Lin Xigu again for the rest of the morning. Lin Xigu didn’t know how he had offended him, but he had become adept at reading She Xiao’s mood — and She Xiao was clearly unhappy. Lin Xigu kept turning his head to check on him.
Third period was Chinese Lit and the class had fallen into a stupor. Lin Xigu bowed his head over his desk and wrote a note to She Xiao.
— Are you okay?
He doodled a cute figure beside it with a questioning expression on its face, its round hands holding its head.
She Xiao glanced at the note and pursed his lips, ignoring him.
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Lin Xigu passed him another note. This one featured another doodle with a sappy smile and a similar message.
— Are you okaaay?
She Xiao ignored this note too, but his expression had softened somewhat.
Nkd Dktw nswze vlzz vbyv bkp elqldnlp olal olyjldkdt. Tl pxkzle vs bkxplzq, dsv iwkvl esdl fwpv ulv. Tl ealo ydsvbla qktwal sd vbl rytl. Mbkp sdl bye pxkzkdt lulp yde zkrp rwnjlale kdvs y jkpp.
— Fbl Dkys-tltl….
Nkd Dktw oyp yzalyeu caktbv ale yp bl pzke bkp dsvlcssj shla.
Tl bye dlhla xyel y fsjl sq vbkp nyzkcal clqsal. Mawvb cl vsze, bl dlhla qlzv nsxqsavyczl fsjkdt yaswde okvb Fbl Dkys. Tl bye clld ps nywtbv wr kd vbl qwd sq vbl xsxldv vbyv bl byed’v alxlxclale vs qllz lxcyaaypple wdvkz bl bye yzalyeu alzkdiwkpble vbl dsvl. Pke bl ts vss qya…?
Fbl Dkys pvwekle vbl dsvl qsa y zsdt vkxl. Nkd Dktw oyp vss dlahswp vs zssj. Tl jlrv bkp lulp vaykdle sd vbl vlynbla yp kq bl bye esdl dsvbkdt swv sq vbl saekdyau. Fbl Dkys nsdvkdwle vs pvyal yv vbl dsvlcssj okvbswv tkhkdt ydu jkde sq alynvksd.
Nkd Dktw nswzed’v pvyde kv yduxsal. Tkp lxcyaayppxldv tsv vbl clpv sq bkx yp bl alyzkgle vbyv bkp fsjl xktbv dsv byhl clld obszzu yrrasrakyvl. Tl vakle vs rau vbl dsvlcssj cynj qasx Fbl Dkys. Gp pssd yp bkp byde vswnble vbl dsvlcssj, Fbl Dkys rknjle wr bkp rld yde fsvvle y osae sd vbl rytl clqsal qkdyzzu yzzsokdt Nkd Dktw vs akr kv qasx bkp bydep.
Nkd Dktw pvyale yv vbl dsvl. Jlpkel vbl qktwal, Fbl Dkys bye oakvvld:
— Yd?
‘Mn’ again! With another question mark!
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Lin Xigu buried his head on the desk, too afraid to look at the notebook or at She Xiao. He definitely did not have the guts to pass any more notes.
She Xiao often replied to his text messages with that same “Mn.” His cheeks burned with heat as he pictured She Xiao sending those texts in the context of the scene depicted in his drawing.
Lin Xigu took a few moments to calm down. When his face had more or less returned to its usual hue, he sat up and quickly closed his notebook, too afraid to look at the note again. He never turned to face She Xiao even once throughout the rest of the class, although he did steal the occasional peek using his peripheral vision before immediately reining in his focus.
As soon as the class bell rang, Lin Xigu promptly sprang out his seat.
He couldn’t sit there any longer. It was unbearable. Covering his face with his hands, he headed for the bathroom; he needed to let off some steam. He might just spontaneously combust if he were to keep sitting there beside She Xiao.
Between classes, the bathroom was always crowded with restless boys who seized on any reason to leave their seats. There were also those who congregated there to smoke. Lin Xigu wasn’t keen on going to the restroom during breaks; he disliked the scent of smoke too much.
Someone blew a puff of smoke into his face as soon as he stepped through the door.
Frowning, Lin Xi Gu looked up and recognized the skinheads from Class 5. Saying nothing, he tried to walk around them.
“Want a smoke?” One of them handed him a cigarette.
“No, thanks.” Lin Xigu coolly pushed his hand aside.
“Chill out, class just ended. What’s the rush?” The speaker blew another cloud of smoke in Lin Xigu’s face and said, “It’s packed in there. No room for you.”
Lin Xigu didn’t want to mince words with them. He turned to leave.
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They weren’t about to just let him go. Someone grabbed Lin Xigu by the arm, saying, “Hold up, where are you off to so fast? We haven’t pissed yet either. We oughta go together, see how far your aim is.”
Lin Xigu shot him a look of disgust. “You’re sick.”
“You chicken?” That person laughed. “Or are you just a chick with no dick?”
Lin Xigu didn’t want to waste another word on them. He shook them off and marched out the door.
Lin Xigu had left his seat flushed and embarrassed, but his expression when he returned was surly and simmering with anger. She Xiao regarded him with a raised eyebrow. Lin Xigu still felt self-conscious about looking at She Xiao and he resisted the urge to look back.
The class bell rang. She Xiao tapped the back of his hand.
Lin Xigu turned at that.
“What’s wrong?” She Xiao asked.
Lin Xigu shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
She Xiao blinked and asked again, “You’re upset?”
“No,” Lin Xigu took out the books he needed for their next class and helped She Xiao with his as well. “Not at all.”
She Xiao stared at him for a while longer, looking away only when Lin Xigu finally smiled at him.
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Lin Xigu wasn’t the type to seethe. As long as the problem had nothing to do with She Xiao, any residual anger usually lasted a few minutes at most. They were not far into the lesson and he had already put the incident behind him.
Once the anger subsided, he couldn’t help but remember the note where he had written “She Xiao-gege“. He must have been mad to write something like that. What must She Xiao have thought?
Never mind the note, even seeing the cover of his notebook mortified him.
Lin Xigu soon forgot about the bathroom incident, but whether intentionally or unintentionally, from that day on, She Xiao started walking with him to the bathroom. Sometimes he would light up outside the door while he waited.
At first, Lin Xigu had been worried that She Xiao would stand guard over him even while he relieved himself. However, he soon realized that he was just being paranoid — She Xiao never followed him inside.
They did cross paths with the Class 5 gang once or twice. On those occasions, they had been smoking by the door while She Xiao stood nearby, also smoking. Luckily, they had kept their mouths shut and didn’t bother them, but Lin Xigu was nonetheless anxious about a fight breaking out. She Xiao’s hand wasn’t fully recovered yet; he didn’t want him fighting where he would surely be at a disadvantage.
Time seemed to pass quickly ever since he learnt of his feelings for She Xiao; the week flew by.
On their way home from school on Friday night, Lin Xigu asked, “Are you going for your checkup tomorrow morning? Can I wait for you at the end of the block again?”
“I’ll be at your gate… waiting” She Xiao answered.
“Sounds good. Then when should I meet you? Or you can text me when you arrive?” Lin Xigu felt a leap of anticipation at the thought of being able to see She Xiao again the next day.
“Around 9.”
Lin Xigu nodded. “Got it.”
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She Xiao was finally going to be free of that splint on his finger. Lin Xigu found it an eyesore, as he did every wound on She Xiao’s body.
Lin Xigu woke early on Saturday, spruced himself up, and perched prim and proper on his couch to wait. He was jittery by the time 8:30 rolled around and started debating whether he should just wait outside after all. But it was going to be another cold day from the looks of it and it was a little silly to wait for so long. And what if She Xiao was running late?
Just as Lin Xigu was weighing his options, his phone rang. He blinked at the Caller ID flashing on his screen. She Xiao hadn’t texted him but was calling him instead?
His breathing quickened. He forced himself to take a deep breath before answering, “She Xiao?”
“Mn,” She Xiao intoned. “I’m here.”
“Ah, okay! I’ll be right down!” He should have made up his mind sooner about waiting outside. He wished he were already downstairs.
She Xiao said softly, “Don’t rush.”
“I’m rushing! I’m leaving right now. Can you find somewhere warm to wait?” Lin Xigu grabbed his keys and dashed out the door.
Hearing the commotion over the line, She Xiao repeated, “Don’t rush.”
“Getting in the elevator now – gonna lose you! I’ll be there in two minutes!” Although he had signed off with that, he couldn’t bring himself to hang up. It was only when the elevator started to descend and the call automatically disconnected that he pulled the phone away from his ear.
That was their first time speaking on the phone. They had only ever texted each other before. Although he had tried calling She Xiao when he hadn’t shown up for school, She Xiao hadn’t answered back then.
So that’s what She Xiao’s voice sounded like over the phone…
It was low and very… alluring.
Lin Xigu raced across the courtyard. He grinned at She Xiao before his breath could catch up with his body. He always did this, always smiled happily at She Xiao every time he saw him.
”Good morning, She Xiao!”
A small crease formed in She Xiao’s brow. “Good morning. I said… don’t rush…. Why are you running?”
Lin Xigu scratched his head and laughed in response.
”Have you had breakfast yet?” Lin Xigu asked.
She Xiao nodded. “I’ve eaten.”
“Me too. Are you doing anything after the checkup? If not, we could maybe grab lunch together?” He was afraid of being overly presumptuous with his question and asked again in a smaller voice, “Is that… okay?”
She Xiao nodded again. “Okay.”
Lin Xigu was sated, his eyes curving into a smile.
She Xiao looked at those eyes and said nothing.
A few minutes later — Lin Xigu had already lined up his next topic of conversation — She Xiao’s voice drifted over from beside him. “That little boy you drew… looks a lot like you.”
Lin Xigu instinctively looked up at him but She Xiao had already turned his face away. Lin Xigu’s footsteps faltered. He had almost forgotten how to walk.
He swiftly pulled a mask from his pocket and covered his face with it so that only his eyes were visible. He was grateful that he’d had that mask stashed in his pocket. Otherwise, anyone might have guessed what thoughts he was hiding with his face all flushed!
And his ears! They felt warm so they must be red too! Lin Xigu hastily pulled his hood down over his head until he had covered as much of himself as possible.
When She Xiao turned again to look at Lin Xigu, he was taken aback. In the span of a sentence, the person who had been standing beside him had turned into a pile of clothes.
Only a pair of large, bright eyes remained, blinking above the mask, looking remarkably adorable.
She Xiao didn’t speak to Lin Xigu again for the rest of the morning. Lin Xigu didn’t know how he had offended him, but he had become adept at reading She Xiao’s mood — and She Xiao was clearly unhappy. Lin Xigu kept turning his head to check on him.
Third period was Chinese Lit and the class had fallen into a stupor. Lin Xigu bowed his head over his desk and wrote a note to She Xiao.
— Are you okay?
He doodled a cute figure beside it with a questioning expression on its face, its round hands holding its head.
She Xiao glanced at the note and pursed his lips, ignoring him.
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Lin Xigu passed him another note. This one featured another doodle with a sappy smile and a similar message.
— Are you okaaay?
She Xiao ignored this note too, but his expression had softened somewhat.
Nkd Dktw nswze vlzz vbyv bkp elqldnlp olal olyjldkdt. Tl pxkzle vs bkxplzq, dsv iwkvl esdl fwpv ulv. Tl ealo ydsvbla qktwal sd vbl rytl. Mbkp sdl bye pxkzkdt lulp yde zkrp rwnjlale kdvs y jkpp.
— Fbl Dkys-tltl….
Nkd Dktw oyp yzalyeu caktbv ale yp bl pzke bkp dsvlcssj shla.
Tl bye dlhla xyel y fsjl sq vbkp nyzkcal clqsal. Mawvb cl vsze, bl dlhla qlzv nsxqsavyczl fsjkdt yaswde okvb Fbl Dkys. Tl bye clld ps nywtbv wr kd vbl qwd sq vbl xsxldv vbyv bl byed’v alxlxclale vs qllz lxcyaaypple wdvkz bl bye yzalyeu alzkdiwkpble vbl dsvl. Pke bl ts vss qya…?
Fbl Dkys pvwekle vbl dsvl qsa y zsdt vkxl. Nkd Dktw oyp vss dlahswp vs zssj. Tl jlrv bkp lulp vaykdle sd vbl vlynbla yp kq bl bye esdl dsvbkdt swv sq vbl saekdyau. Fbl Dkys nsdvkdwle vs pvyal yv vbl dsvlcssj okvbswv tkhkdt ydu jkde sq alynvksd.
Nkd Dktw nswzed’v pvyde kv yduxsal. Tkp lxcyaayppxldv tsv vbl clpv sq bkx yp bl alyzkgle vbyv bkp fsjl xktbv dsv byhl clld obszzu yrrasrakyvl. Tl vakle vs rau vbl dsvlcssj cynj qasx Fbl Dkys. Gp pssd yp bkp byde vswnble vbl dsvlcssj, Fbl Dkys rknjle wr bkp rld yde fsvvle y osae sd vbl rytl clqsal qkdyzzu yzzsokdt Nkd Dktw vs akr kv qasx bkp bydep.
Nkd Dktw pvyale yv vbl dsvl. Jlpkel vbl qktwal, Fbl Dkys bye oakvvld:
— Yd?
‘Mn’ again! With another question mark!
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Lin Xigu buried his head on the desk, too afraid to look at the notebook or at She Xiao. He definitely did not have the guts to pass any more notes.
She Xiao often replied to his text messages with that same “Mn.” His cheeks burned with heat as he pictured She Xiao sending those texts in the context of the scene depicted in his drawing.
Lin Xigu took a few moments to calm down. When his face had more or less returned to its usual hue, he sat up and quickly closed his notebook, too afraid to look at the note again. He never turned to face She Xiao even once throughout the rest of the class, although he did steal the occasional peek using his peripheral vision before immediately reining in his focus.
As soon as the class bell rang, Lin Xigu promptly sprang out his seat.
He couldn’t sit there any longer. It was unbearable. Covering his face with his hands, he headed for the bathroom; he needed to let off some steam. He might just spontaneously combust if he were to keep sitting there beside She Xiao.
Between classes, the bathroom was always crowded with restless boys who seized on any reason to leave their seats. There were also those who congregated there to smoke. Lin Xigu wasn’t keen on going to the restroom during breaks; he disliked the scent of smoke too much.
Someone blew a puff of smoke into his face as soon as he stepped through the door.
Frowning, Lin Xi Gu looked up and recognized the skinheads from Class 5. Saying nothing, he tried to walk around them.
“Want a smoke?” One of them handed him a cigarette.
“No, thanks.” Lin Xigu coolly pushed his hand aside.
“Chill out, class just ended. What’s the rush?” The speaker blew another cloud of smoke in Lin Xigu’s face and said, “It’s packed in there. No room for you.”
Lin Xigu didn’t want to mince words with them. He turned to leave.
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They weren’t about to just let him go. Someone grabbed Lin Xigu by the arm, saying, “Hold up, where are you off to so fast? We haven’t pissed yet either. We oughta go together, see how far your aim is.”
Lin Xigu shot him a look of disgust. “You’re sick.”
“You chicken?” That person laughed. “Or are you just a chick with no dick?”
Lin Xigu didn’t want to waste another word on them. He shook them off and marched out the door.
Lin Xigu had left his seat flushed and embarrassed, but his expression when he returned was surly and simmering with anger. She Xiao regarded him with a raised eyebrow. Lin Xigu still felt self-conscious about looking at She Xiao and he resisted the urge to look back.
The class bell rang. She Xiao tapped the back of his hand.
Lin Xigu turned at that.
“What’s wrong?” She Xiao asked.
Lin Xigu shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
She Xiao blinked and asked again, “You’re upset?”
“No,” Lin Xigu took out the books he needed for their next class and helped She Xiao with his as well. “Not at all.”
She Xiao stared at him for a while longer, looking away only when Lin Xigu finally smiled at him.
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Lin Xigu wasn’t the type to seethe. As long as the problem had nothing to do with She Xiao, any residual anger usually lasted a few minutes at most. They were not far into the lesson and he had already put the incident behind him.
Once the anger subsided, he couldn’t help but remember the note where he had written “She Xiao-gege“. He must have been mad to write something like that. What must She Xiao have thought?
Never mind the note, even seeing the cover of his notebook mortified him.
Lin Xigu soon forgot about the bathroom incident, but whether intentionally or unintentionally, from that day on, She Xiao started walking with him to the bathroom. Sometimes he would light up outside the door while he waited.
At first, Lin Xigu had been worried that She Xiao would stand guard over him even while he relieved himself. However, he soon realized that he was just being paranoid — She Xiao never followed him inside.
They did cross paths with the Class 5 gang once or twice. On those occasions, they had been smoking by the door while She Xiao stood nearby, also smoking. Luckily, they had kept their mouths shut and didn’t bother them, but Lin Xigu was nonetheless anxious about a fight breaking out. She Xiao’s hand wasn’t fully recovered yet; he didn’t want him fighting where he would surely be at a disadvantage.
Time seemed to pass quickly ever since he learnt of his feelings for She Xiao; the week flew by.
On their way home from school on Friday night, Lin Xigu asked, “Are you going for your checkup tomorrow morning? Can I wait for you at the end of the block again?”
“I’ll be at your gate… waiting” She Xiao answered.
“Sounds good. Then when should I meet you? Or you can text me when you arrive?” Lin Xigu felt a leap of anticipation at the thought of being able to see She Xiao again the next day.
“Around 9.”
Lin Xigu nodded. “Got it.”
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She Xiao was finally going to be free of that splint on his finger. Lin Xigu found it an eyesore, as he did every wound on She Xiao’s body.
Lin Xigu woke early on Saturday, spruced himself up, and perched prim and proper on his couch to wait. He was jittery by the time 8:30 rolled around and started debating whether he should just wait outside after all. But it was going to be another cold day from the looks of it and it was a little silly to wait for so long. And what if She Xiao was running late?
Just as Lin Xigu was weighing his options, his phone rang. He blinked at the Caller ID flashing on his screen. She Xiao hadn’t texted him but was calling him instead?
His breathing quickened. He forced himself to take a deep breath before answering, “She Xiao?”
“Mn,” She Xiao intoned. “I’m here.”
“Ah, okay! I’ll be right down!” He should have made up his mind sooner about waiting outside. He wished he were already downstairs.
She Xiao said softly, “Don’t rush.”
“I’m rushing! I’m leaving right now. Can you find somewhere warm to wait?” Lin Xigu grabbed his keys and dashed out the door.
Hearing the commotion over the line, She Xiao repeated, “Don’t rush.”
“Getting in the elevator now – gonna lose you! I’ll be there in two minutes!” Although he had signed off with that, he couldn’t bring himself to hang up. It was only when the elevator started to descend and the call automatically disconnected that he pulled the phone away from his ear.
That was their first time speaking on the phone. They had only ever texted each other before. Although he had tried calling She Xiao when he hadn’t shown up for school, She Xiao hadn’t answered back then.
So that’s what She Xiao’s voice sounded like over the phone…
It was low and very… alluring.
Lin Xigu raced across the courtyard. He grinned at She Xiao before his breath could catch up with his body. He always did this, always smiled happily at She Xiao every time he saw him.
”Good morning, She Xiao!”
A small crease formed in She Xiao’s brow. “Good morning. I said… don’t rush…. Why are you running?”
Lin Xigu scratched his head and laughed in response.
”Have you had breakfast yet?” Lin Xigu asked.
She Xiao nodded. “I’ve eaten.”
“Me too. Are you doing anything after the checkup? If not, we could maybe grab lunch together?” He was afraid of being overly presumptuous with his question and asked again in a smaller voice, “Is that… okay?”
She Xiao nodded again. “Okay.”
Lin Xigu was sated, his eyes curving into a smile.
She Xiao looked at those eyes and said nothing.
A few minutes later — Lin Xigu had already lined up his next topic of conversation — She Xiao’s voice drifted over from beside him. “That little boy you drew… looks a lot like you.”
Lin Xigu instinctively looked up at him but She Xiao had already turned his face away. Lin Xigu’s footsteps faltered. He had almost forgotten how to walk.
He swiftly pulled a mask from his pocket and covered his face with it so that only his eyes were visible. He was grateful that he’d had that mask stashed in his pocket. Otherwise, anyone might have guessed what thoughts he was hiding with his face all flushed!
And his ears! They felt warm so they must be red too! Lin Xigu hastily pulled his hood down over his head until he had covered as much of himself as possible.
When She Xiao turned again to look at Lin Xigu, he was taken aback. In the span of a sentence, the person who had been standing beside him had turned into a pile of clothes.
Only a pair of large, bright eyes remained, blinking above the mask, looking remarkably adorable.
