Nearly every page of the 100-page secret tome was marked with her father’s handwriting. Corrections, adjustments, annotations, and comments. Not even the corners were spared of the barrage. Every inch was covered in graphite, minutely explaining the topic at hand.
And, at the end, he even left her a list rearranging the order in which the calculation procedures in the book should be introduced. Whether it was arranged from least to most advanced or not, she didn’t know. But…
Sure enough, he was her old man.
Lin Zhao Xi pulled over her own graph and compared it with the list. They were similar in layout and fashion. He’d been the one to teach her how to organize her studies.
There was ash in a corner of the last page. She brushed it aside, then stared outside the window, seeing Old Lin smoking as he wrote down each word.
It was only after reading Old Lin’s comments that Lin Zhao Xi saw the difference between the book sold by the king of mental arithmetic and the books on mental arithmetic later introduced. The gap was enormous. What she’d said to the mental arithmetic king at the time wasn’t exactly right.
She couldn’t say exactly how she felt.
On the one hand, she felt ashamed for doubting her father. On the other hand… wasn’t her father being a little too nice, giving something so precious to a loli who appeared out of nowhere and only called him ‘master’ to take advantage of him?
Maybe he was lonely… or maybe he just rummaged through the piece of junk the so-called king put together out of boredom, and couldn’t help correcting it… and, after correcting a few mistakes, he wasn’t satisfied with the way it was written, so he decided to rearrange it… And after it was all over, what he’d done was no different from rewriting it.
She could imagine him, after finding something to do that happened to be his area of expertise, not resisting the temptation of combing through the book.
But in the end, he was still alone.
The loneliness he felt after losing his direction in life, and while wiling the days away with meaningless tasks, was shown on the simple pages of the book.
She closed the book, feeling both warm and sad.
Old Lin once held a similar book, perhaps hoping that she would have an easier time learning mental arithmetic, or perhaps for her to share his interest in algorithms. Whether he was trying to help her study or simply liked algorithms and wanted her to like them too, she couldn’t remember.
Come to think of it… Behind her father’s expectations for her to diligently study math, both before and now, seemed to be his own pursuit and love of mathematics.
A subconscious desire, beyond control.
Before, she believed it was wrong for parents to pour their unfulfilled dreams onto their children. After all, nobody’s life belongs to another.
But thinking back as an adult, as she relived the past, she realized that her thoughts were not quite right. Few things in the world were entirely black or white, absolutely right or wrong.
Parents held expectations for their children, and so did children for their parents.
Pondering for a long while, a thought suddenly dawned on her.
Didn’t that mean there was a chance for them to start all over again?
On Saturday, June 20th, the weather was clear.
As usual, Lin Zhao Xi finished her breakfast in the canteen and, as usual, said goodbye to Mrs. Lin, who was taking care of them. Then, as usual, 1 yuan and 4 mao (¥1,40) for milk were stuffed in her hands.
Just before she left, Mrs. Lin grabbed her and rubbed her head, a conflicted expression on her face. In a soft whisper, she said, “Don’t be so stubborn.”
Feeling she said something wrong, she shifted and sheepishly wiped her hands on her apron.
Lin Zhao Xi’s nose stung. Those small gestures meant a lot for her, who didn’t grow up with a mother. She nodded energetically, then said with a smile, “Ma, don’t worry. It’s just an exam. I’m not going to war.”
Nearly every page of the 100-page secret tome was marked with her father’s handwriting. Corrections, adjustments, annotations, and comments. Not even the corners were spared of the barrage. Every inch was covered in graphite, minutely explaining the topic at hand.
And, at the end, he even left her a list rearranging the order in which the calculation procedures in the book should be introduced. Whether it was arranged from least to most advanced or not, she didn’t know. But…
Sure enough, he was her old man.
Lin Zhao Xi pulled over her own graph and compared it with the list. They were similar in layout and fashion. He’d been the one to teach her how to organize her studies.
There was ash in a corner of the last page. She brushed it aside, then stared outside the window, seeing Old Lin smoking as he wrote down each word.
It was only after reading Old Lin’s comments that Lin Zhao Xi saw the difference between the book sold by the king of mental arithmetic and the books on mental arithmetic later introduced. The gap was enormous. What she’d said to the mental arithmetic king at the time wasn’t exactly right.
She couldn’t say exactly how she felt.
On the one hand, she felt ashamed for doubting her father. On the other hand… wasn’t her father being a little too nice, giving something so precious to a loli who appeared out of nowhere and only called him ‘master’ to take advantage of him?
Maybe he was lonely… or maybe he just rummaged through the piece of junk the so-called king put together out of boredom, and couldn’t help correcting it… and, after correcting a few mistakes, he wasn’t satisfied with the way it was written, so he decided to rearrange it… And after it was all over, what he’d done was no different from rewriting it.
She could imagine him, after finding something to do that happened to be his area of expertise, not resisting the temptation of combing through the book.
But in the end, he was still alone.
The loneliness he felt after losing his direction in life, and while wiling the days away with meaningless tasks, was shown on the simple pages of the book.
She closed the book, feeling both warm and sad.
Old Lin once held a similar book, perhaps hoping that she would have an easier time learning mental arithmetic, or perhaps for her to share his interest in algorithms. Whether he was trying to help her study or simply liked algorithms and wanted her to like them too, she couldn’t remember.
Come to think of it… Behind her father’s expectations for her to diligently study math, both before and now, seemed to be his own pursuit and love of mathematics.
A subconscious desire, beyond control.
Before, she believed it was wrong for parents to pour their unfulfilled dreams onto their children. After all, nobody’s life belongs to another.
But thinking back as an adult, as she relived the past, she realized that her thoughts were not quite right. Few things in the world were entirely black or white, absolutely right or wrong.
Parents held expectations for their children, and so did children for their parents.
Pondering for a long while, a thought suddenly dawned on her.
Didn’t that mean there was a chance for them to start all over again?
On Saturday, June 20th, the weather was clear.
As usual, Lin Zhao Xi finished her breakfast in the canteen and, as usual, said goodbye to Mrs. Lin, who was taking care of them. Then, as usual, 1 yuan and 4 mao (¥1,40) for milk were stuffed in her hands.
Just before she left, Mrs. Lin grabbed her and rubbed her head, a conflicted expression on her face. In a soft whisper, she said, “Don’t be so stubborn.”
Feeling she said something wrong, she shifted and sheepishly wiped her hands on her apron.
Lin Zhao Xi’s nose stung. Those small gestures meant a lot for her, who didn’t grow up with a mother. She nodded energetically, then said with a smile, “Ma, don’t worry. It’s just an exam. I’m not going to war.”
