Eventually, I couldn’t withstand the silence and stood up. I was so hungry that I thought I needed to fill my belly up before it started to feel sore. However, he grabbed my hand and sat me back on the bed.
“Should I tell you one thing?” he asked.
“About what?”
“I was good at running. I liked exercising. You’re bad at running, right? To be exact, you ended up not being able to run well because you didn’t like moving. I like songs that you don’t like. You like americano coffee, but I like sweet sodas better. Also, I like ballads with a faster tempo, unlike you, who likes slower songs. I know you because I know what kind of person the real Haeseo was and because I’ve watched you from right beside you all along.” After his long speech, he grinned brightly. “Shall I tell you why only I can like you? Because I’m the only one who knows you.”
“…”
“That’s why you hated that b*stard Hyehyun. He didn’t love you but liked Haeseo, who was Yeonseon’s lover. Sorry—if Yeonseon wasn’t interested in you, that Hyehyun wouldn’t have ever had eyes for you,” he said, then he looked at me with genuinely sorry eyes. I quietly stared back. My hand that was caught by him hurt. I could feel that he was upset at my lamentation that I didn’t even know myself. Or perhaps it was jealousy.
Jealousy of everyone who I met as a child.
A person in love would grow jealous. Whoever it may be, he would never let anyone approach and learn about me. I knew from his few words. He would hide my name and my true ident*ty and be protective of me. I would probably never be able to get along with anyone else until I disappeared from this world.
Was this love proper? Or were he and I having a great big delusion?
When I looked at the other, my stomach and my throat felt hot like I swallowed molten metal. It pained me. At the same time, the melting feeling enveloped my entire body. It was blissful. I wasn’t sure whether I was in pain from suppressing this emotion or from being unable to swallow it down despite wanting to.
It didn’t matter now.
Whatever the case may be, all my wishes were fulfilled. With open arms, I welcomed his love and obsession that made him think that my foolish and deep-seated delusion was the result of love and miracles. He ended my long and drawn-out wait and pain. I had nothing more I could wish for. “Whatever happens in the future, you will probably stay by my side…”
That was enough.
So, let’s love, Haeseo, just the two of us. Let’s not allow anyone to come between us and love each other. Let’s desire each other like we were the last people for one another until the day we die and disappear. Just as you wished, I too was fine with it. Even if our love one day dies, and left only with rage and despair, you rip me apart until I die… Whatever it is that you wish for, I want to listen. So, for now, let’s fall in love.
I didn’t need anything more. I was happy with only knowing you, who claimed that you were the only one to know me.
“Come here, Haeseo. Melt yourself in me,” I said, and he smiled, caressing my face. The moment he pulled me toward him and our lips touched, I heard the click of the lock to the cage.
(End)
Eventually, I couldn’t withstand the silence and stood up. I was so hungry that I thought I needed to fill my belly up before it started to feel sore. However, he grabbed my hand and sat me back on the bed.
“Should I tell you one thing?” he asked.
“About what?”
“I was good at running. I liked exercising. You’re bad at running, right? To be exact, you ended up not being able to run well because you didn’t like moving. I like songs that you don’t like. You like americano coffee, but I like sweet sodas better. Also, I like ballads with a faster tempo, unlike you, who likes slower songs. I know you because I know what kind of person the real Haeseo was and because I’ve watched you from right beside you all along.” After his long speech, he grinned brightly. “Shall I tell you why only I can like you? Because I’m the only one who knows you.”
“…”
“That’s why you hated that b*stard Hyehyun. He didn’t love you but liked Haeseo, who was Yeonseon’s lover. Sorry—if Yeonseon wasn’t interested in you, that Hyehyun wouldn’t have ever had eyes for you,” he said, then he looked at me with genuinely sorry eyes. I quietly stared back. My hand that was caught by him hurt. I could feel that he was upset at my lamentation that I didn’t even know myself. Or perhaps it was jealousy.
Jealousy of everyone who I met as a child.
A person in love would grow jealous. Whoever it may be, he would never let anyone approach and learn about me. I knew from his few words. He would hide my name and my true ident*ty and be protective of me. I would probably never be able to get along with anyone else until I disappeared from this world.
Was this love proper? Or were he and I having a great big delusion?
When I looked at the other, my stomach and my throat felt hot like I swallowed molten metal. It pained me. At the same time, the melting feeling enveloped my entire body. It was blissful. I wasn’t sure whether I was in pain from suppressing this emotion or from being unable to swallow it down despite wanting to.
It didn’t matter now.
Whatever the case may be, all my wishes were fulfilled. With open arms, I welcomed his love and obsession that made him think that my foolish and deep-seated delusion was the result of love and miracles. He ended my long and drawn-out wait and pain. I had nothing more I could wish for. “Whatever happens in the future, you will probably stay by my side…”
That was enough.
So, let’s love, Haeseo, just the two of us. Let’s not allow anyone to come between us and love each other. Let’s desire each other like we were the last people for one another until the day we die and disappear. Just as you wished, I too was fine with it. Even if our love one day dies, and left only with rage and despair, you rip me apart until I die… Whatever it is that you wish for, I want to listen. So, for now, let’s fall in love.
I didn’t need anything more. I was happy with only knowing you, who claimed that you were the only one to know me.
“Come here, Haeseo. Melt yourself in me,” I said, and he smiled, caressing my face. The moment he pulled me toward him and our lips touched, I heard the click of the lock to the cage.
(End)
