79 – The Day Has Finally Come
Translator: tamago
Editor: Yin
Liu Xiaochang said that not long ago, when he heard Fang Mo’s claim that he was actually a 1, he was still somewhat skeptical. After all, Fang Mo had claimed that he was 0.5 to him before and was only willing to lie flat because of a straight man like Xu Xiran. It wasn’t until now, in conjunction with Xu Xiran’s own actions, that he finally confirmed the truth.
Xu Xiran, as a former straight man, must have lain flat under the expectation that Fang Mo was a 0.5, and then indulged in pleasure so much that he forgot everything else1. But as everyone knows, the vast majority of 0.5s who claim to be partial to being a 1 still prefer to be a 0. Tearfully being a 1 for a long time would be bound to make things disharmonious. Fang Mo was probably not good at learning, and Xu Xiran was dissatisfied with his wants, so he tried to ask for outside help.
“Is that the case?” Liu Xiaochang asked.
Fang Mo thought to himself, you have quite the creative talent.
The truth of the matter was probably far more embarrassing than Liu Xiaochang’s assumption. Fang Mo thought about it for a while, had a dizzy spell, and was almost unable to breathe.
He gracefully declined Liu Xiaochang’s teaching guidance, wrapped himself in a blanket, and fell into deep thought.
~
Fang Mo was very sure that since the two had established their relationship, he had not been behaving like a 1 at all. His eyes would always turn red, he would obediently let his chest be rubbed, and he would wrap around him with his legs. If Xu Xiran hadn’t taken the initiative to call him his wife during this time, he would have called him husband a long time ago.
No wonder Xu Xiran was so hesitant about getting a room, he must have seen his position preference.
Fang Mo realized later that he had a huge misconception where he thought that with Xu Xiran originally being a straight man, he would want to be the one above him.
Looking back on the past, when Xu Xiran pretended to be jealous of Zou Shun, he had said something that sounded quite reasonable, but made him uneasy now that he thought about it. He had said that if he wanted to find a guy that looked like a girl, he might as well find a girl. Since he wanted to find a guy, he had to find one that was tall and handsome. Could this be analogized to, if he wanted to be a top, why didn’t he just find a girl? So since he was looking for a guy, wasn’t it just to lie flat?
Thinking about it that way, many details that used to seem fishy suddenly became reasonable.
Why was Xu Xiran so persistent in wanting to see his thing? Because he wanted to make use of it!
Why was Xu Xiran still so unwilling to get a room with him? Because he saw and realized he didn’t want to make use of it at all!
Fang Mo completely understood why Yang Lin had blocked Xu Xiran. Now he also wanted to block Xu Xiran.
How did things become like this? He had worked so hard for so long, gave his all, and cheated his way until he finally got with his heavenly dish straight man, only for him to want to be a 0.
With him being that big? What a reckless waste of God’s gifts!
No wonder Xu Xiran didn’t raise any doubts from when he claimed he was straight, to after they started dating. This was because he also thought this way in his heart.
The lie that he casually told to deceive Yang Lin at the beginning tragically turned out to be a prophecy.
What was he to do now?
~
Fang Mo felt like he almost wanted to cry. He thought about how from now on, their sex life was doomed to be disharmonious, and even the idea of breaking up faintly emerged in his mind.
In a moment of helplessness, Xu Xiran sent him a message.
[“Whatcha up to?”]
This was his standard opening line when he had nothing else to say.
Fang Mo looked at the phone for a while with a miserable look on his face, and then replied as usual.
[“Thinking of you”]
He was indeed thinking about him, but the content of his thoughts was a bit negative.
A new message soon arrived.
[“Does it still hurt?”]
He was undoubtedly asking about the two little peas on Fang Mo’s body that were swollen from his bullying.
Fang Mo replied immediately, [“Yes it hurts!”]
It actually didn’t hurt too much. He just wanted to act like a baby out of habit.
[“Are they very swollen?”]
Xu Xiran asked again.
[“Very, they’re all red and swollen.”]
Fang Mo exaggerated.
After replying, the other side was quiet for a while, until finally, a new message came.
[“Can you take a picture and let me see?”]
What is this? He sounded like he was really concerned, but he clearly just wanted to see. Fang Mo felt embarrassed for a moment, then stealthily moved to the side of the bed, raised his blanket, then while avoiding the sight of his roommates, unbuttoned his clothes and opened his front camera.
After sending the photo, his heart suddenly felt heavy.
He was somehow flirting with a 0, sending this kind of photo, and yet his heart was brimming with happiness.
This kind of feeling seemed reminiscent of how he felt when he first met Xu Xiran. Every time the degree of his favorability toward this die-hard otaku was deducted -1, as soon as he saw him again or heard his voice, it would always make up for it.
The current situation now was far more serious than before, and his favorability of him was at least deducted by -10000. But he didn’t even need to hear Xu Xiran’s voice or see his face at all. By just reading the messages he sent, or even seeing his name, his heart would already soften.
There was no way he would break up, how could he possibly be this hard-hearted? When facing Xu Xiran, there was only one place where he could feel hard.
In that case, since he was also a man and could get hard, why didn’t he just try to take up this challenge?
~
When Xu Xiran knocked on the door of their dormitory, Fang Mo was in the middle of humbly asking Liu Xiaochang for advice on ways to make his partner feel like he was in seventh heaven.
Because it was inconvenient for them to be heard by the other roommates, the two got a little close, and since the content of their talk was embarrassing, everyone who heard what they said would blush.
When Xu Xiran saw, he immediately frowned.
“You come here,” he beckoned at Fang Mo.
As Fang Mo walked out, he thought to himself, he’s so hot, how could he not be a 1? This is almost like he’s offending heaven and reason altogether.
~
Xu Xiran pulled him to a corner and handed him an unopened ointment.
“This can help reduce the swelling.”
Just as Fang Mo wanted to take it, he retracted his hand.
“I don’t want it,” he said.
“I asked the clerk, and they said that it won’t hurt when you put it on,” Xu Xiran was already very used to coaxing him, “Apply it and you’ll get better soon.”
Fang Mo thought to himself, get better soon, isn’t it so you can continue to fondle them?
“…You’re the one who made it swollen, you think just getting medicine is enough?” Fang Mo said, leaning towards him, “Aren’t you responsible in the end?”
Xu Xiran raised his eyebrows a little, then quickly lowered his head, touched his nose with his hands as if to cover himself, and smiled.
He took Fang Mo’s hand, walked all the way to the fire escape, closed the door again, and raised his chin at Fang Mo.
“Lift up your shirt.”
After having done this a few times, this no longer felt as shameful. Fang Mo lifted his shirt and watched as Xu Xiran applied the medicine onto him with focus.
The ointment gave him a cooling sensation, and Xu Xiran’s hands made him feel ticklish again.
“Done.” Xu Xiran finished very quickly, “Apply it twice a day. Will you put it on yourself tomorrow morning or do you want me to come find you?”
Fang Mo put down his shirt and frowned at him: “So you’re done?”
He really only applied the medicine on him, and it was the kind that didn’t absorb easily. Fang Mo, who had only been touched by him a little, felt a bit dissatisfied.
“…It seems to me that it doesn’t hurt at all,” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo hehe’d at him, then took a step forward and bumped into him, put his arms around his neck, and kissed him.
“Right,” Xu Xiran kissed him for a while, then suddenly said, “I’ve mentioned before, I’ll basically be done with my exams by next Wednesday, and then I’ll only have one exam left after that.”
Fang Mo closed his eyes and nodded: “Mn.”
“…Then about what we said we were gonna do,” Xu Xiran’s tone and expression clearly had a hint of nervousness, “I’ve done my preparation, so let’s go.”
Fang Mo froze for a moment.
He didn’t pay much attention before, but now that he analyzed Xu Xiran’s words in detail, it felt even more weird. He did his preparation? What kind of preparation? It could only be that kind of preparation.
Fang Mo visualized it in his head and almost wanted to cry.
Xu Xiran, unaware of these thoughts, looked down nervously, with his face still slightly hot: “Would that be okay?”
Not quite.
Fang Mo took a deep breath, gulped, and looked at Xu Xiran’s face that was close at hand. Xu Xiran was quick to notice and raised his eyes to look at him.
After the two looked at each other for a while, Fang Mo raised his hand, cupped Xu Xiran’s face, and kissed him hard on the lips.
“…Alright!” Fang Mo said like a brave warrior cutting off his own wrist to save his life.
~
Before their agreed date, Fang Mo frantically did some mental preparation for himself.
This kind of arrangement did make some sense. Bigger was not always better, and with Xu Xiran’s size, it would definitely be very hard and painful for it to go in. When the time comes and this becomes an issue, no one will have fun. In contrast, his size was much better as his had a certain sense of presence that could make people feel good, but not cause too much pressure. This was simply a scientific fact!
He had made Xu Xiran feel good when he touched him, so to use another place to touch him in a more comprehensive way, why would that not be doable? It would at most be a little tiring, but it was nothing he couldn’t do.
If he didn’t make himself do it, how would he know that he couldn’t be a top?
Xu Xiran was so handsome, so sexy, so alluring, and so cute, that even if he was a 0, there were so many other countless gay guys who want him and envied their relationship, so he truly had to cherish him.
There was no need to be afraid of disharmony when the time comes. He had obtained several tips from a senior expert surnamed Liu, among which there were many clever ideas.
The more Fang Mo thought about it, the more he felt it made sense, and he firmly believed that he had completely convinced himself.
~
When his exam was finally over, all the other students were ecstatic like birds that were just set free. Only Fang Mo, who was still sitting classroom blankly, seemed to be half gone by the duality of man2.
“Did you hand in a blank exam?” His classmate asked, “Are you planning to fail?”
Fang Mo shook his head.
No, I’m just going on a date with my beloved boyfriend. We’re about to hit an earth-shattering shot.
When he returned to the dormitory, Xu Xiran was already waiting for him. The two looked at each other in silence, then went downstairs together in a tacit understanding and headed toward their destination.
He didn’t know whether it was because of nervousness or shyness, but Xu Xiran kept silent. Fang Mo didn’t know what to say, and his whole body was under so much stress that he could hardly straighten his back.
Their steps were heavy, with their eyes void of life, and their movements slow. The atmosphere was less like going to bed, and more like going to a grave.
As they passed by a drugstore on the way, the two stopped at the same time and looked at each other.
That’s right, since they would be doing that, they had to buy some necessities. Seeing Xu Xiran’s face turn red as he was about to go in, Fang Mo stopped him. Since he was the one who was going to use it, he should be the one to buy it.
Right after entering the door, he found that Xu Xiran had followed him in. It was almost like telling people “We’re about to use this stuff together”, which would make anyone feel awkward. Fang Mo lowered his head and ran to the counter to get the stuff when he faintly heard Xu Xiran talking to a pharmacist behind him.
His ears were sharp, and he quickly picked up the thing as he covertly moved back a few steps to listen more clearly.
“I want the really effective kind, do you have it? The kind where you fall asleep immediately after taking it, and you won’t wake up no matter how other people shake you around. It’s best if it’s like you’re knocked out cold.”
The pharmacist was alert: “What do you want to do?”
Fang Mo also felt puzzled, and frowned as he walked up behind Xu Xiran. Just as he was about to say something, the pharmacist’s expression looked even more wrong.
She looked at the small box in Fang Mo’s hand, then at Xu Xiran’s face, and said, “If you want to buy sleeping pills, please leave your ID number.”
Fang Mo suspected that as soon as the two of them stepped out of the store, the lady would immediately call the police and tell them that there were two suspicious suspects with evil intentions here.
“No, I…” Xu Xiran tried to explain with embarrassment on his face, “It’s for myself.”
“His insomnia is very serious!” Fang Mo yelled out to help him, then pulled Xu Xiran aside, “What do you want to do with that? Later when you sweat all over, you’ll fall asleep easily.”
~
After leaving the pharmacy, the atmosphere became even more stiff.
“You can’t sleep at night?” He asked Xu Xiran.
Xu Xiran’s face went pale and he shook his head: “It’s not… that, uh, a little bit.”
Fang Mo couldn’t help but worry: “Is it because you’ve been studying too much recently? You told me yesterday that you were to go to bed very early, did you not fall asleep?”
Xu Xiran hesitated to speak, then finally squeezed out a smile at him, and waved his hand: “It’s just once in a while, it’s not serious.”
Fang Mo frowned and thought for a while, then asked tentatively: “Since you’re not feeling well, why don’t we just forget about it today?”
Xu Xiran turned his head immediately: “Okay!”
The two looked at each other for a while, and the atmosphere became more and more awkward.
“No, I mean…” Xu Xiran licked his lips, “Forget it, we’re already here. Didn’t you say that it’s the same after sweating, right? Hehe.”
“Hehehehe,” Fang Mo also squeezed out a smile, “Right, that’s true.”
The two continued to march towards their destination, and the air was filled with a weird feigned joy.
“Are you nervous?” Fang Mo asked.
“Ah? What? What did you say?” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo shook his head: “…Nothing.”
He felt a little bewildered. Even if you are nervous about what will happen in the future, you shouldn’t be so nervous that you can’t even hear clearly. For the sake of true love, he had decided to become a top from this day on, and even he was calmer than him.
Now that he was a top, Fang Mo felt that he had the obligation to console his significant other.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t let it hurt that much.”
Xu Xiran stiffly turned his head to look at him like a robot in disrepair.
Taking advantage of having few people around, Fang Mo gave him a muah in the air.
After his kiss, he blushed from the shyness and smiled. Seeing this, Xu Xiran finally let out a smile as well. At last, the atmosphere eased up a bit.
Fang Mo took the opportunity to hold his finger, and received back the expected response.
The two walked forward hand in hand. Seeing that the building was close at hand, Fang Mo suddenly heard Xu Xiran taking a deep breath next to him.
“I have a suggestion.” Xu Xiran stopped in his tracks, and looked ahead with a serious expression, “After some careful consideration, I have an earnest proposal, and I hope you can accept it.”
Fang Mo was a little confused: “Yes?”
“I think having a fixed position between ordinary gay men is a completely illogical and unsustainable path of development.”
“…Did your exam fry your brain?” Fang Mo asked, filled with question marks in his head.
“No,” Xu Xiran wiped his face, then turned to look at him, “Listen to me, I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart.”
“I’m listening,” Fang Mo looked at him.
“First of all, I absolutely don’t mean that I’m unwilling,” Xu Xiran looked at him sincerely, “but for everyone’s physical and mental health, for long-term and stable growth, for fairness and justice, and for creating a better future together, can we at least take turns?”
“Ah? What are you talking about?” Fang Mo couldn’t come to his senses, “Take turns in what?”
Xu Xiran raised his hand, slowly stretched out his index finger, pointed the fingertips towards the sky, and poked up twice: “Up there.”
Fang Mo looked up.
After looking for half a second, he suddenly came back to my senses.
“…Do you want to be on top?!” he asked loudly.
His volume was too explosive, and the people around them suddenly turned their heads. But Fang Mo has no time to care for now. He was dumbfounded for a while, then repeated again: “Do you want to be on top?”
Xu Xiran seemed to feel very ashamed of this, and his expression was extremely tangled, his face was full of embarrassment, and his voice was extremely low: “I don’t want to force you, right? I just wanted to discuss with you… that… at least once…”
“Okay,” Fang Mo said.
Xu Xiran pursed his lips and looked at him in surprise.
Fang Mo grabbed him, shook him vigorously, and said loudly, “Yes! Yes!”
“Really?” Xu Xiran smiled happily.
Fang Mo nodded frantically.
Seeing this, Xu Xiran let out a long sigh of relief. He patted his chest, swallowed, and asked tentatively, “Then today…”
“You first,” Fang Mo made a gesture of invitation, “Please, you first!”
Xu Xiran blinked at him twice, showing a shy smile: “Ahya, why are you so polite, it makes me feel embarrassed.”
After he said this, he didn’t wait for Fang Mo to answer, and immediately said: “Then… to refuse would be impolite, right?”
1
Idiom literally translates to indulging in pleasure so much that they forget their duties at home
2He seemed to be half gone between the three immortal souls and seven mortal forms in Daoism, contrasting the spiritual and carnal sides of man
79 – The Day Has Finally Come
Translator: tamago
Editor: Yin
Liu Xiaochang said that not long ago, when he heard Fang Mo’s claim that he was actually a 1, he was still somewhat skeptical. After all, Fang Mo had claimed that he was 0.5 to him before and was only willing to lie flat because of a straight man like Xu Xiran. It wasn’t until now, in conjunction with Xu Xiran’s own actions, that he finally confirmed the truth.
Xu Xiran, as a former straight man, must have lain flat under the expectation that Fang Mo was a 0.5, and then indulged in pleasure so much that he forgot everything else1. But as everyone knows, the vast majority of 0.5s who claim to be partial to being a 1 still prefer to be a 0. Tearfully being a 1 for a long time would be bound to make things disharmonious. Fang Mo was probably not good at learning, and Xu Xiran was dissatisfied with his wants, so he tried to ask for outside help.
“Is that the case?” Liu Xiaochang asked.
Fang Mo thought to himself, you have quite the creative talent.
The truth of the matter was probably far more embarrassing than Liu Xiaochang’s assumption. Fang Mo thought about it for a while, had a dizzy spell, and was almost unable to breathe.
He gracefully declined Liu Xiaochang’s teaching guidance, wrapped himself in a blanket, and fell into deep thought.
~
Fang Mo was very sure that since the two had established their relationship, he had not been behaving like a 1 at all. His eyes would always turn red, he would obediently let his chest be rubbed, and he would wrap around him with his legs. If Xu Xiran hadn’t taken the initiative to call him his wife during this time, he would have called him husband a long time ago.
No wonder Xu Xiran was so hesitant about getting a room, he must have seen his position preference.
Fang Mo realized later that he had a huge misconception where he thought that with Xu Xiran originally being a straight man, he would want to be the one above him.
Looking back on the past, when Xu Xiran pretended to be jealous of Zou Shun, he had said something that sounded quite reasonable, but made him uneasy now that he thought about it. He had said that if he wanted to find a guy that looked like a girl, he might as well find a girl. Since he wanted to find a guy, he had to find one that was tall and handsome. Could this be analogized to, if he wanted to be a top, why didn’t he just find a girl? So since he was looking for a guy, wasn’t it just to lie flat?
Thinking about it that way, many details that used to seem fishy suddenly became reasonable.
Why was Xu Xiran so persistent in wanting to see his thing? Because he wanted to make use of it!
Why was Xu Xiran still so unwilling to get a room with him? Because he saw and realized he didn’t want to make use of it at all!
Fang Mo completely understood why Yang Lin had blocked Xu Xiran. Now he also wanted to block Xu Xiran.
How did things become like this? He had worked so hard for so long, gave his all, and cheated his way until he finally got with his heavenly dish straight man, only for him to want to be a 0.
With him being that big? What a reckless waste of God’s gifts!
No wonder Xu Xiran didn’t raise any doubts from when he claimed he was straight, to after they started dating. This was because he also thought this way in his heart.
The lie that he casually told to deceive Yang Lin at the beginning tragically turned out to be a prophecy.
What was he to do now?
~
Fang Mo felt like he almost wanted to cry. He thought about how from now on, their sex life was doomed to be disharmonious, and even the idea of breaking up faintly emerged in his mind.
In a moment of helplessness, Xu Xiran sent him a message.
[“Whatcha up to?”]
This was his standard opening line when he had nothing else to say.
Fang Mo looked at the phone for a while with a miserable look on his face, and then replied as usual.
[“Thinking of you”]
He was indeed thinking about him, but the content of his thoughts was a bit negative.
A new message soon arrived.
[“Does it still hurt?”]
He was undoubtedly asking about the two little peas on Fang Mo’s body that were swollen from his bullying.
Fang Mo replied immediately, [“Yes it hurts!”]
It actually didn’t hurt too much. He just wanted to act like a baby out of habit.
[“Are they very swollen?”]
Xu Xiran asked again.
[“Very, they’re all red and swollen.”]
Fang Mo exaggerated.
After replying, the other side was quiet for a while, until finally, a new message came.
[“Can you take a picture and let me see?”]
What is this? He sounded like he was really concerned, but he clearly just wanted to see. Fang Mo felt embarrassed for a moment, then stealthily moved to the side of the bed, raised his blanket, then while avoiding the sight of his roommates, unbuttoned his clothes and opened his front camera.
After sending the photo, his heart suddenly felt heavy.
He was somehow flirting with a 0, sending this kind of photo, and yet his heart was brimming with happiness.
This kind of feeling seemed reminiscent of how he felt when he first met Xu Xiran. Every time the degree of his favorability toward this die-hard otaku was deducted -1, as soon as he saw him again or heard his voice, it would always make up for it.
The current situation now was far more serious than before, and his favorability of him was at least deducted by -10000. But he didn’t even need to hear Xu Xiran’s voice or see his face at all. By just reading the messages he sent, or even seeing his name, his heart would already soften.
There was no way he would break up, how could he possibly be this hard-hearted? When facing Xu Xiran, there was only one place where he could feel hard.
In that case, since he was also a man and could get hard, why didn’t he just try to take up this challenge?
~
When Xu Xiran knocked on the door of their dormitory, Fang Mo was in the middle of humbly asking Liu Xiaochang for advice on ways to make his partner feel like he was in seventh heaven.
Because it was inconvenient for them to be heard by the other roommates, the two got a little close, and since the content of their talk was embarrassing, everyone who heard what they said would blush.
When Xu Xiran saw, he immediately frowned.
“You come here,” he beckoned at Fang Mo.
As Fang Mo walked out, he thought to himself, he’s so hot, how could he not be a 1? This is almost like he’s offending heaven and reason altogether.
~
Xu Xiran pulled him to a corner and handed him an unopened ointment.
“This can help reduce the swelling.”
Just as Fang Mo wanted to take it, he retracted his hand.
“I don’t want it,” he said.
“I asked the clerk, and they said that it won’t hurt when you put it on,” Xu Xiran was already very used to coaxing him, “Apply it and you’ll get better soon.”
Fang Mo thought to himself, get better soon, isn’t it so you can continue to fondle them?
“…You’re the one who made it swollen, you think just getting medicine is enough?” Fang Mo said, leaning towards him, “Aren’t you responsible in the end?”
Xu Xiran raised his eyebrows a little, then quickly lowered his head, touched his nose with his hands as if to cover himself, and smiled.
He took Fang Mo’s hand, walked all the way to the fire escape, closed the door again, and raised his chin at Fang Mo.
“Lift up your shirt.”
After having done this a few times, this no longer felt as shameful. Fang Mo lifted his shirt and watched as Xu Xiran applied the medicine onto him with focus.
The ointment gave him a cooling sensation, and Xu Xiran’s hands made him feel ticklish again.
“Done.” Xu Xiran finished very quickly, “Apply it twice a day. Will you put it on yourself tomorrow morning or do you want me to come find you?”
Fang Mo put down his shirt and frowned at him: “So you’re done?”
He really only applied the medicine on him, and it was the kind that didn’t absorb easily. Fang Mo, who had only been touched by him a little, felt a bit dissatisfied.
“…It seems to me that it doesn’t hurt at all,” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo hehe’d at him, then took a step forward and bumped into him, put his arms around his neck, and kissed him.
“Right,” Xu Xiran kissed him for a while, then suddenly said, “I’ve mentioned before, I’ll basically be done with my exams by next Wednesday, and then I’ll only have one exam left after that.”
Fang Mo closed his eyes and nodded: “Mn.”
“…Then about what we said we were gonna do,” Xu Xiran’s tone and expression clearly had a hint of nervousness, “I’ve done my preparation, so let’s go.”
Fang Mo froze for a moment.
He didn’t pay much attention before, but now that he analyzed Xu Xiran’s words in detail, it felt even more weird. He did his preparation? What kind of preparation? It could only be that kind of preparation.
Fang Mo visualized it in his head and almost wanted to cry.
Xu Xiran, unaware of these thoughts, looked down nervously, with his face still slightly hot: “Would that be okay?”
Not quite.
Fang Mo took a deep breath, gulped, and looked at Xu Xiran’s face that was close at hand. Xu Xiran was quick to notice and raised his eyes to look at him.
After the two looked at each other for a while, Fang Mo raised his hand, cupped Xu Xiran’s face, and kissed him hard on the lips.
“…Alright!” Fang Mo said like a brave warrior cutting off his own wrist to save his life.
~
Before their agreed date, Fang Mo frantically did some mental preparation for himself.
This kind of arrangement did make some sense. Bigger was not always better, and with Xu Xiran’s size, it would definitely be very hard and painful for it to go in. When the time comes and this becomes an issue, no one will have fun. In contrast, his size was much better as his had a certain sense of presence that could make people feel good, but not cause too much pressure. This was simply a scientific fact!
He had made Xu Xiran feel good when he touched him, so to use another place to touch him in a more comprehensive way, why would that not be doable? It would at most be a little tiring, but it was nothing he couldn’t do.
If he didn’t make himself do it, how would he know that he couldn’t be a top?
Xu Xiran was so handsome, so sexy, so alluring, and so cute, that even if he was a 0, there were so many other countless gay guys who want him and envied their relationship, so he truly had to cherish him.
There was no need to be afraid of disharmony when the time comes. He had obtained several tips from a senior expert surnamed Liu, among which there were many clever ideas.
The more Fang Mo thought about it, the more he felt it made sense, and he firmly believed that he had completely convinced himself.
~
When his exam was finally over, all the other students were ecstatic like birds that were just set free. Only Fang Mo, who was still sitting classroom blankly, seemed to be half gone by the duality of man2.
“Did you hand in a blank exam?” His classmate asked, “Are you planning to fail?”
Fang Mo shook his head.
No, I’m just going on a date with my beloved boyfriend. We’re about to hit an earth-shattering shot.
When he returned to the dormitory, Xu Xiran was already waiting for him. The two looked at each other in silence, then went downstairs together in a tacit understanding and headed toward their destination.
He didn’t know whether it was because of nervousness or shyness, but Xu Xiran kept silent. Fang Mo didn’t know what to say, and his whole body was under so much stress that he could hardly straighten his back.
Their steps were heavy, with their eyes void of life, and their movements slow. The atmosphere was less like going to bed, and more like going to a grave.
As they passed by a drugstore on the way, the two stopped at the same time and looked at each other.
That’s right, since they would be doing that, they had to buy some necessities. Seeing Xu Xiran’s face turn red as he was about to go in, Fang Mo stopped him. Since he was the one who was going to use it, he should be the one to buy it.
Right after entering the door, he found that Xu Xiran had followed him in. It was almost like telling people “We’re about to use this stuff together”, which would make anyone feel awkward. Fang Mo lowered his head and ran to the counter to get the stuff when he faintly heard Xu Xiran talking to a pharmacist behind him.
His ears were sharp, and he quickly picked up the thing as he covertly moved back a few steps to listen more clearly.
“I want the really effective kind, do you have it? The kind where you fall asleep immediately after taking it, and you won’t wake up no matter how other people shake you around. It’s best if it’s like you’re knocked out cold.”
The pharmacist was alert: “What do you want to do?”
Fang Mo also felt puzzled, and frowned as he walked up behind Xu Xiran. Just as he was about to say something, the pharmacist’s expression looked even more wrong.
She looked at the small box in Fang Mo’s hand, then at Xu Xiran’s face, and said, “If you want to buy sleeping pills, please leave your ID number.”
Fang Mo suspected that as soon as the two of them stepped out of the store, the lady would immediately call the police and tell them that there were two suspicious suspects with evil intentions here.
“No, I…” Xu Xiran tried to explain with embarrassment on his face, “It’s for myself.”
“His insomnia is very serious!” Fang Mo yelled out to help him, then pulled Xu Xiran aside, “What do you want to do with that? Later when you sweat all over, you’ll fall asleep easily.”
~
After leaving the pharmacy, the atmosphere became even more stiff.
“You can’t sleep at night?” He asked Xu Xiran.
Xu Xiran’s face went pale and he shook his head: “It’s not… that, uh, a little bit.”
Fang Mo couldn’t help but worry: “Is it because you’ve been studying too much recently? You told me yesterday that you were to go to bed very early, did you not fall asleep?”
Xu Xiran hesitated to speak, then finally squeezed out a smile at him, and waved his hand: “It’s just once in a while, it’s not serious.”
Fang Mo frowned and thought for a while, then asked tentatively: “Since you’re not feeling well, why don’t we just forget about it today?”
Xu Xiran turned his head immediately: “Okay!”
The two looked at each other for a while, and the atmosphere became more and more awkward.
“No, I mean…” Xu Xiran licked his lips, “Forget it, we’re already here. Didn’t you say that it’s the same after sweating, right? Hehe.”
“Hehehehe,” Fang Mo also squeezed out a smile, “Right, that’s true.”
The two continued to march towards their destination, and the air was filled with a weird feigned joy.
“Are you nervous?” Fang Mo asked.
“Ah? What? What did you say?” Xu Xiran said.
Fang Mo shook his head: “…Nothing.”
He felt a little bewildered. Even if you are nervous about what will happen in the future, you shouldn’t be so nervous that you can’t even hear clearly. For the sake of true love, he had decided to become a top from this day on, and even he was calmer than him.
Now that he was a top, Fang Mo felt that he had the obligation to console his significant other.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t let it hurt that much.”
Xu Xiran stiffly turned his head to look at him like a robot in disrepair.
Taking advantage of having few people around, Fang Mo gave him a muah in the air.
After his kiss, he blushed from the shyness and smiled. Seeing this, Xu Xiran finally let out a smile as well. At last, the atmosphere eased up a bit.
Fang Mo took the opportunity to hold his finger, and received back the expected response.
The two walked forward hand in hand. Seeing that the building was close at hand, Fang Mo suddenly heard Xu Xiran taking a deep breath next to him.
“I have a suggestion.” Xu Xiran stopped in his tracks, and looked ahead with a serious expression, “After some careful consideration, I have an earnest proposal, and I hope you can accept it.”
Fang Mo was a little confused: “Yes?”
“I think having a fixed position between ordinary gay men is a completely illogical and unsustainable path of development.”
“…Did your exam fry your brain?” Fang Mo asked, filled with question marks in his head.
“No,” Xu Xiran wiped his face, then turned to look at him, “Listen to me, I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart.”
“I’m listening,” Fang Mo looked at him.
“First of all, I absolutely don’t mean that I’m unwilling,” Xu Xiran looked at him sincerely, “but for everyone’s physical and mental health, for long-term and stable growth, for fairness and justice, and for creating a better future together, can we at least take turns?”
“Ah? What are you talking about?” Fang Mo couldn’t come to his senses, “Take turns in what?”
Xu Xiran raised his hand, slowly stretched out his index finger, pointed the fingertips towards the sky, and poked up twice: “Up there.”
Fang Mo looked up.
After looking for half a second, he suddenly came back to my senses.
“…Do you want to be on top?!” he asked loudly.
His volume was too explosive, and the people around them suddenly turned their heads. But Fang Mo has no time to care for now. He was dumbfounded for a while, then repeated again: “Do you want to be on top?”
Xu Xiran seemed to feel very ashamed of this, and his expression was extremely tangled, his face was full of embarrassment, and his voice was extremely low: “I don’t want to force you, right? I just wanted to discuss with you… that… at least once…”
“Okay,” Fang Mo said.
Xu Xiran pursed his lips and looked at him in surprise.
Fang Mo grabbed him, shook him vigorously, and said loudly, “Yes! Yes!”
“Really?” Xu Xiran smiled happily.
Fang Mo nodded frantically.
Seeing this, Xu Xiran let out a long sigh of relief. He patted his chest, swallowed, and asked tentatively, “Then today…”
“You first,” Fang Mo made a gesture of invitation, “Please, you first!”
Xu Xiran blinked at him twice, showing a shy smile: “Ahya, why are you so polite, it makes me feel embarrassed.”
After he said this, he didn’t wait for Fang Mo to answer, and immediately said: “Then… to refuse would be impolite, right?”
1
Idiom literally translates to indulging in pleasure so much that they forget their duties at home
2He seemed to be half gone between the three immortal souls and seven mortal forms in Daoism, contrasting the spiritual and carnal sides of man
