Chapter 49: 49
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016
10:30am My life has experienced some upheaval in recent days. Nothing that makes me depress reassure you but changes anyway. Change number one; Leo does a lot of repetition, so I can not see him at all, even though we are both in the same city. To complicate things, on October 10th when I left my training, I decided to surprise him by going to see him, which also allowed me to say hello to my father that I barely meet. I had prepared food and drinks together and expected him to be happy with my attention but when I arrived, I did not find him. The actors were on break but he was not with the troop. One of the girls told me to have seen her near a shed in the back of the theater, where I went immediately. I was quite surprised to find Leo whis his pants falling in the process of fucking another girl in a place full of dust. Dude if you do not respect me, at least respect you and do not fuck in such a disgusting place. When he saw me, strangely, his comings and goings in this girl stopped. I approached him and my hand flew straight into his face, after which I left, leaving him in his stupid position. I would have thought to be sad but not at all. I did not blame him either. Do I have the right to blame him, I who cheated on more than one occasion? A love at first sight was all it was and it had nothing to do with true love. I realize now that I am really novice to the subject and do not know this feeling. On the other hand Jenna spends her days watching me and her evenings with me. Our relationship is say, very fusional. I have the impression that my mother is suspecting something and if she does not suspect it after seeing Jenna and me Kiss us, she must be blind or pretend to be. I love being with Jenna and it's mutual.
The advertisement Sony was went out the night planned in Japan, the same night, she had spread around the world and she provokes her lot of controversy these days. Some very conservative American associations cry foul and certify that the protection of minors has not been respected. A girl of sixteen in such an outfit, lying near a major actor, they do not like it much, it seems. Others, on the contrary, like it a lot. The invitations for the TV shows that I receive in recent days, have never been so numerous. Although I decline them all, I nevertheless answered two interviews for serious newspapers of the written press to explain to me and to make it clear to the reactionaries that it was not a pornographic film as they say but a simple publicity. Some people are so narrow-minded that it's terrifying. A pastor who has been on television asks me to undergo an exorcism to get the devil out of my body. I want to answer him that if he had fucked at least once in his life, he would not see things the same way. Third change that is by far the most embarrassing, Sean Wiliams who would be the eldest son of a multimillionaire Texan, wants me to become her fiancé and in addition to having announced on television, on the internet, his father asked the request to my parents for the possibility of a union between the two families. My answer was clear and concise. "You force me, never again will you see me again." But the idiot insists and stirs excites journalists dubious who are delighted to have a subject that falls to them all cooked in the mouth without them having any efforts to make for investigate. Last change, my consecration, the cover of Vogue. When I came out of the photo shoot, I thought back to the first photo shoot I had done. It was two photos for a small shop that sells pullovers. The photographer was the boss of the shop himself, there was no hairdresser, makeup artist or lighting director or anything but I was so proud of me that day. Leaving the studio for the photo shoot for the cover of Vogues, I felt the same. This is another first time. A first time to another level but the joy felt she does not change.
10:58 am I will soon spend on the catwalk, my running order is this time the number eleven. For the fashion show, I'm always so tense and certainly I will always be so much that I do not really feel secure on my legs. The other girls do not like me much either, which adds to my stress. The atmosphere during my workouts was so bad that I wanted only one thing. To return my home as quickly as possible. I used to take shoulder or elbow shots very often, but quite frankly I had never provoke any of these girls, neither the team nor the models. The worst happened before yesterday. As if we were still in elementary school, when I wanted to put on my own clothes, I found them torn and my shoes cut certainly with a chisel. The staff lent me a lambda outfit to go home but I still do not know who is responsible for this rampage. Yesterday, Terry showed me a video of a fashion show of 1950. He explained that at that time a fashion show could last up to an hour and unlike today the models looked soft, delicate and smiling. Today, a fashion show has an average duration of twelve minutes and our attitude is more, a little aggressive with a fairly fast step. If at that time women were to be cute little cats, then today we are vicious little panthers.
11:00am In your turn Lisa, a half smile, looking only in front of me and totally ignoring the public who came to the show, I advance on the catwalk with hair back. At the end, I put my hands on my hips, turn my head to my right, stay still for three seconds and then go back. I leave as I came, still not paying attention to what surrounds me. So much training for this may sound silly but I'm not one of those very talented girl for the fashion show who has it in her and does it naturally. I need to work and work again to integrate each step perfectly and make no mistakes. Although I'm not stuck with Isabel Marant who did not impose exclusivity, when recently another great couturier offered me a collaboration, I refused. The reason, I just explained it. I have to train and rehearse a fashion show more than most girls to have the necessary confidence and if I had to have two contracts, I will not have time to devote myself to anything else. Terry disagreed with my choice but in the end only the presence of my signature on a contract determines my agreement. When he realized that he would never get it, he gave up, albeit reluctantly. I think for myself that I have to do the right thing even if it's only for one designer. If I Rush my fashion show would not suit me and I I will not bear it.
11h20 am To avoid to be to get hurt by the other girls, I'm waiting in my corner for the photo souvenir. The atmosphere is still so rotten and I'm the one who makes the most of it. Some girls really hate me and do not hesitate to tell me face to face. The words (whore on promotion, little whore, dirty bitch, cock sucker, sold etc), reach my ears all day long and I admit that I am still very eager to leave today. Sometimes people on the team intervene to calm them but it's rare, so I try to make myself very small and waiting for time to pass trying not to be noticed. But even so, it is they who come to me and give me blows (without doing it on purpose) and insult me. It does not matter in the end because if they are jealous, I can consider that I succeed my career better than than these girls. Finally, we walk again on the catwalk and this time, they all smile. One of them and even hypocritical enough to put my arm around my shoulder. Click click, photo finished, I walk more slowly to avoid the feet of my friends who hang out and returns to the corridor of the hotel. I Go to the little salon where my bag is waiting for me. Once again when I arrive, I notice that my clothes are in pieces. I look around me and see three girls laugh as I lift my dress that now looks like a rag. My shoes disappeared. I inhale and exhale to avoid making a mistake that I will never be able to repair and go to the costume designer who once again gives me a dress and shoes. He tells me to keep them and seems sorry for me. I do not care if you're sorry, since for almost a week these girls have been hitting me in front of you and you've done nothing to stop them.
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016
10:30am My life has experienced some upheaval in recent days. Nothing that makes me depress reassure you but changes anyway. Change number one; Leo does a lot of repetition, so I can not see him at all, even though we are both in the same city. To complicate things, on October 10th when I left my training, I decided to surprise him by going to see him, which also allowed me to say hello to my father that I barely meet. I had prepared food and drinks together and expected him to be happy with my attention but when I arrived, I did not find him. The actors were on break but he was not with the troop. One of the girls told me to have seen her near a shed in the back of the theater, where I went immediately. I was quite surprised to find Leo whis his pants falling in the process of fucking another girl in a place full of dust. Dude if you do not respect me, at least respect you and do not fuck in such a disgusting place. When he saw me, strangely, his comings and goings in this girl stopped. I approached him and my hand flew straight into his face, after which I left, leaving him in his stupid position. I would have thought to be sad but not at all. I did not blame him either. Do I have the right to blame him, I who cheated on more than one occasion? A love at first sight was all it was and it had nothing to do with true love. I realize now that I am really novice to the subject and do not know this feeling. On the other hand Jenna spends her days watching me and her evenings with me. Our relationship is say, very fusional. I have the impression that my mother is suspecting something and if she does not suspect it after seeing Jenna and me Kiss us, she must be blind or pretend to be. I love being with Jenna and it's mutual.
The advertisement Sony was went out the night planned in Japan, the same night, she had spread around the world and she provokes her lot of controversy these days. Some very conservative American associations cry foul and certify that the protection of minors has not been respected. A girl of sixteen in such an outfit, lying near a major actor, they do not like it much, it seems. Others, on the contrary, like it a lot. The invitations for the TV shows that I receive in recent days, have never been so numerous. Although I decline them all, I nevertheless answered two interviews for serious newspapers of the written press to explain to me and to make it clear to the reactionaries that it was not a pornographic film as they say but a simple publicity. Some people are so narrow-minded that it's terrifying. A pastor who has been on television asks me to undergo an exorcism to get the devil out of my body. I want to answer him that if he had fucked at least once in his life, he would not see things the same way. Third change that is by far the most embarrassing, Sean Wiliams who would be the eldest son of a multimillionaire Texan, wants me to become her fiancé and in addition to having announced on television, on the internet, his father asked the request to my parents for the possibility of a union between the two families. My answer was clear and concise. "You force me, never again will you see me again." But the idiot insists and stirs excites journalists dubious who are delighted to have a subject that falls to them all cooked in the mouth without them having any efforts to make for investigate. Last change, my consecration, the cover of Vogue. When I came out of the photo shoot, I thought back to the first photo shoot I had done. It was two photos for a small shop that sells pullovers. The photographer was the boss of the shop himself, there was no hairdresser, makeup artist or lighting director or anything but I was so proud of me that day. Leaving the studio for the photo shoot for the cover of Vogues, I felt the same. This is another first time. A first time to another level but the joy felt she does not change.
10:58 am I will soon spend on the catwalk, my running order is this time the number eleven. For the fashion show, I'm always so tense and certainly I will always be so much that I do not really feel secure on my legs. The other girls do not like me much either, which adds to my stress. The atmosphere during my workouts was so bad that I wanted only one thing. To return my home as quickly as possible. I used to take shoulder or elbow shots very often, but quite frankly I had never provoke any of these girls, neither the team nor the models. The worst happened before yesterday. As if we were still in elementary school, when I wanted to put on my own clothes, I found them torn and my shoes cut certainly with a chisel. The staff lent me a lambda outfit to go home but I still do not know who is responsible for this rampage. Yesterday, Terry showed me a video of a fashion show of 1950. He explained that at that time a fashion show could last up to an hour and unlike today the models looked soft, delicate and smiling. Today, a fashion show has an average duration of twelve minutes and our attitude is more, a little aggressive with a fairly fast step. If at that time women were to be cute little cats, then today we are vicious little panthers.
11:00am In your turn Lisa, a half smile, looking only in front of me and totally ignoring the public who came to the show, I advance on the catwalk with hair back. At the end, I put my hands on my hips, turn my head to my right, stay still for three seconds and then go back. I leave as I came, still not paying attention to what surrounds me. So much training for this may sound silly but I'm not one of those very talented girl for the fashion show who has it in her and does it naturally. I need to work and work again to integrate each step perfectly and make no mistakes. Although I'm not stuck with Isabel Marant who did not impose exclusivity, when recently another great couturier offered me a collaboration, I refused. The reason, I just explained it. I have to train and rehearse a fashion show more than most girls to have the necessary confidence and if I had to have two contracts, I will not have time to devote myself to anything else. Terry disagreed with my choice but in the end only the presence of my signature on a contract determines my agreement. When he realized that he would never get it, he gave up, albeit reluctantly. I think for myself that I have to do the right thing even if it's only for one designer. If I Rush my fashion show would not suit me and I I will not bear it.
11h20 am To avoid to be to get hurt by the other girls, I'm waiting in my corner for the photo souvenir. The atmosphere is still so rotten and I'm the one who makes the most of it. Some girls really hate me and do not hesitate to tell me face to face. The words (whore on promotion, little whore, dirty bitch, cock sucker, sold etc), reach my ears all day long and I admit that I am still very eager to leave today. Sometimes people on the team intervene to calm them but it's rare, so I try to make myself very small and waiting for time to pass trying not to be noticed. But even so, it is they who come to me and give me blows (without doing it on purpose) and insult me. It does not matter in the end because if they are jealous, I can consider that I succeed my career better than than these girls. Finally, we walk again on the catwalk and this time, they all smile. One of them and even hypocritical enough to put my arm around my shoulder. Click click, photo finished, I walk more slowly to avoid the feet of my friends who hang out and returns to the corridor of the hotel. I Go to the little salon where my bag is waiting for me. Once again when I arrive, I notice that my clothes are in pieces. I look around me and see three girls laugh as I lift my dress that now looks like a rag. My shoes disappeared. I inhale and exhale to avoid making a mistake that I will never be able to repair and go to the costume designer who once again gives me a dress and shoes. He tells me to keep them and seems sorry for me. I do not care if you're sorry, since for almost a week these girls have been hitting me in front of you and you've done nothing to stop them.
Wednesday, October 12, 201610:30am My life has experienced some upheaval in recent days. Nothing that makes me depress reassure you but changes anyway. Change number one; Leo does a lot of repetition, so I can not see him at all, even though we are both in the same city. To complicate things, on October 10th when I left my training, I decided to surprise him by going to see him, which also allowed me to say hello to my father that I barely meet. I had prepared food and drinks together and expected him to be happy with my attention but when I arrived, I did not find him. The actors were on break but he was not with the troop. One of the girls told me to have seen her near a shed in the back of the theater, where I went immediately. I was quite surprised to find Leo whis his pants falling in the process of fucking another girl in a place full of dust. Dude if you do not respect me, at least respect you and do not fuck in such a disgusting place. When he saw me, strangely, his comings and goings in this girl stopped. I approached him and my hand flew straight into his face, after which I left, leaving him in his stupid position. I would have thought to be sad but not at all. I did not blame him either. Do I have the right to blame him, I who cheated on more than one occasion? A love at first sight was all it was and it had nothing to do with true love. I realize now that I am really novice to the subject and do not know this feeling. On the other hand Jenna spends her days watching me and her evenings with me. Our relationship is say, very fusional. I have the impression that my mother is suspecting something and if she does not suspect it after seeing Jenna and me Kiss us, she must be blind or pretend to be. I love being with Jenna and it's mutual.The advertisement Sony was went out the night planned in Japan, the same night, she had spread around the world and she provokes her lot of controversy these days. Some very conservative American associations cry foul and certify that the protection of minors has not been respected. A girl of sixteen in such an outfit, lying near a major actor, they do not like it much, it seems. Others, on the contrary, like it a lot. The invitations for the TV shows that I receive in recent days, have never been so numerous. Although I decline them all, I nevertheless answered two interviews for serious newspapers of the written press to explain to me and to make it clear to the reactionaries that it was not a pornographic film as they say but a simple publicity. Some people are so narrow-minded that it's terrifying. A pastor who has been on television asks me to undergo an exorcism to get the devil out of my body. I want to answer him that if he had fucked at least once in his life, he would not see things the same way. Third change that is by far the most embarrassing, Sean Wiliams who would be the eldest son of a multimillionaire Texan, wants me to become her fianc and in addition to having announced on television, on the internet, his father asked the request to my parents for the possibility of a union between the two families. My answer was clear and concise. "You force me, never again will you see me again." But the idiot insists and stirs excites journalists dubious who are delighted to have a subject that falls to them all cooked in the mouth without them having any efforts to make for investigate. Last change, my consecration, the cover of Vogue. When I came out of the photo shoot, I thought back to the first photo shoot I had done. It was two photos for a small shop that sells pullovers. The photographer was the boss of the shop himself, there was no hairdresser, makeup artist or lighting director or anything but I was so proud of me that day. Leaving the studio for the photo shoot for the cover of Vogues, I felt the same. This is another first time. A first time to another level but the joy felt she does not change.10:58 am I will soon spend on the catwalk, my running order is this time the number eleven. For the fashion show, I'm always so tense and certainly I will always be so much that I do not really feel secure on my legs. The other girls do not like me much either, which adds to my stress. The atmosphere during my workouts was so bad that I wanted only one thing. To return my home as quickly as possible. I used to take shoulder or elbow shots very often, but quite frankly I had never provoke any of these girls, neither the team nor the models. The worst happened before yesterday. As if we were still in elementary school, when I wanted to put on my own clothes, I found them torn and my shoes cut certainly with a chisel. The staff lent me a lambda outfit to go home but I still do not know who is responsible for this rampage. Yesterday, Terry showed me a video of a fashion show of 1950. He explained that at that time a fashion show could last up to an hour and unlike today the models looked soft, delicate and smiling. Today, a fashion show has an average duration of twelve minutes and our attitude is more, a little aggressive with a fairly fast step. If at that time women were to be cute little cats, then today we are vicious little panthers.11:00am In your turn Lisa, a half smile, looking only in front of me and totally ignoring the public who came to the show, I advance on the catwalk with hair back. At the end, I put my hands on my hips, turn my head to my right, stay still for three seconds and then go back. I leave as I came, still not paying attention to what surrounds me. So much training for this may sound silly but I'm not one of those very talented girl for the fashion show who has it in her and does it naturally. I need to work and work again to integrate each step perfectly and make no mistakes. Although I'm not stuck with Isabel Marant who did not impose exclusivity, when recently another great couturier offered me a collaboration, I refused. The reason, I just explained it. I have to train and rehearse a fashion show more than most girls to have the necessary confidence and if I had to have two contracts, I will not have time to devote myself to anything else. Terry disagreed with my choice but in the end only the presence of my signature on a contract determines my agreement. When he realized that he would never get it, he gave up, albeit reluctantly. I think for myself that I have to do the right thing even if it's only for one designer. If I Rush my fashion show would not suit me and I I will not bear it.11h20 am To avoid to be to get hurt by the other girls, I'm waiting in my corner for the photo souvenir. The atmosphere is still so rotten and I'm the one who makes the most of it. Some girls really hate me and do not hesitate to tell me face to face. The words whore on promotion, little whore, dirty bitch, cock sucker, sold etc, reach my ears all day long and I admit that I am still very eager to leave today. Sometimes people on the team intervene to calm them but it's rare, so I try to make myself very small and waiting for time to pass trying not to be noticed. But even so, it is they who come to me and give me blows without doing it on purpose and insult me. It does not matter in the end because if they are jealous, I can consider that I succeed my career better than than these girls. Finally, we walk again on the catwalk and this time, they all smile. One of them and even hypocritical enough to put my arm around my shoulder. Click click, photo finished, I walk more slowly to avoid the feet of my friends who hang out and returns to the corridor of the hotel. I Go to the little salon where my bag is waiting for me. Once again when I arrive, I notice that my clothes are in pieces. I look around me and see three girls laugh as I lift my dress that now looks like a rag. My shoes disappeared. I inhale and exhale to avoid making a mistake that I will never be able to repair and go to the costume designer who once again gives me a dress and shoes. He tells me to keep them and seems sorry for me. I do not care if you're sorry, since for almost a week these girls have been hitting me in front of you and you've done nothing to stop them.
