There were too many cars parked in front of the house: Four. Five if Dani counted Simon’s car.
Well I guess it could be worse. Though we’re here early, so way more people will probably show up as the day goes on.
She and Simon walked up to the front door, an action that took much longer than she expected. Partially because it was an older house with a long dirt driveway, but also because time was slowing down for her.
The nap she managed to score on the ride over didn’t help as much as she had hoped. Simon asked her what felt like a dozen times if she was okay before they left the car but she brushed him off.
I’m sorry, Simon. I regret what I said, let’s just listen to staticky radio for another twenty minutes, please.
Her silent pleas were no use. As they finally reached the front door, Simon gave it three quick raps and their fate was sealed. Dani stepped back to hide half of herself behind Simon and the grocery bag of ingredients he had brought along to help with the dinner.
In her head, she was replaying all the times she had come out to people. Her parents, that went poorly. With Simon it went well although she was a nervous wreck three days beforehand. Ryan wasn’t as hard to come out to, though she didn’t have much of a choice once Simon knew. And then Rachel, Dani was so drunk she thought it was a dream the next day until she got a text from her later in the day.
So a pretty mixed bag overall. But for this I’m already out to these people? How does that work?
Part of her regretted allowing Simon to tell his mom about her. That part wanted to go wipe her makeup off, switch into undeniable boy clothes, and drop her voice back down to her old resonance.
Reflexively, she took a deep breath.
Okay, no. We’re done thinking this way. I’ve had enough time to prepare, I’m done being nervous about how people will perceive me.
She knew that was a lie but it made her feel better for the time being.
This will be a fun day, with lots of talking and eating and I’ll be exhausted by the end but I’ll love it. If something goes wrong I’ll worry about it when I’m home in my room again. Yeah. I’ve got this.
“They must all be in the kitchen,” Simon said. He looked to his right where Dani was previously standing only to find her a foot behind him. “Are you that nervous? If you want to take a breather in the car at any point just let me know.”
Dani reclaimed her place by the door. “No, sorry. I’m still tired, that’s all.” She rubbed her eyes to better sell her act.
Simon raised his hand to knock again when the sound of footsteps and laughter was heard from inside.
“I’m coming!” Said a muffled voice. The door opened up, revealing Simon’s mother.
In high school, Dani looked up to Simon’s mom. For a few reasons. Namely, she was a tall woman. If she said she had modeled in her youth nobody would doubt her, standing at six foot one and having facial features that sculptors spent years practicing to replicate. But more than that, she would treat Dani like her own child whenever she was at their house.
On weekends she would spend Saturday nights at Simon’s to avoid going to church the next morning with her parents. She wouldn’t have minded as much if everyone she met each Sunday didn’t try and convince her to get a manlier haircut, or try and sniff out if she was attracted to men through not-so-subtle conversations. It was much more preferable to play video games all night with Simon, or play board games with him, his mom, and his sister after breakfast.
Of course that led to some fighting between her and Simon’s mothers. Her mom claimed that Dani was being stolen away from her, while Simon’s mom pointed out that Dani could make her own choices. Eventually they came to an agreement where as long as Dani would go to church once a month, the other three weekends she could go wherever.
After high school ended, Dani only saw her a handful of times. Simon had his own dorm to live in and that was that. She always wanted to thank her for what she had done to improve her life growing up and felt guilty she never got the chance.
And now here I am, asking even more from her. Crashing her family’s holiday because of my parents again. I won’t let myself leave today without thanking her.
“Oh my god!” Her voice hadn’t changed at all, despite a few of her blonde hairs turning white. “It’s been way too long! Danielle, right?”
Dani felt happy at hearing her name said aloud by her. “Yeah, but you can still use Dani if you’d like, I don’t mind.” She already felt new, happier emotions welling up inside of her. Anxiousness replaced with nostalgia and joy. “It’s great seeing you again.”
“Yes, of course! It’s great seeing you too!” Her smile was kind and put Dani at ease. “You can call me Daria, while we’re at it. We’re all adults now.”
Simon held up his plastic bag. “I brought stuff.”
Daria rolled her eyes. “Oh go set them down inside.” She pointed to herself and then Dani.
“We have some catching up to do.” She turned to allow Simon and Dani to pass through the door. “Come on in, you’re here just in time! We were about to put the turkey in the microwave.”
“Not funny,” Simon said as he took off his shoes. His smirk revealed his true thoughts, though.
While he set his groceries on the counter, Dani awkwardly stood in the foyer with Daria. She tried to ignore it, but kept noticing Simon’s mother glancing at her and smiling.
Well it’s a lot better than being weirded out by me.
Normally if someone were to stare at her that way, Dani would assume they were laughing at her. That they found her strange and amusing and were using her for their entertainment. But with Daria that idea never crossed her mind. She knew that woman was nothing but positivity and warmth. It did make her curious how Simon ended up so…interesting.
“Thank you for letting me be here, by the way.” Dani wasn’t able to keep eye contact while she spoke, though she did keep her volume higher than her usual muttering. She was disappointed her thanks wasn’t as heartfelt as she wanted to convey but was mostly just glad to have said anything.
“Don’t worry at all, dear.” Daria pulled her into a loose hug. “It’s like I’ve always told you: when your family isn’t working out, we’re your family.” She stepped back, entering the main house. “If anything happens with anyone, find me and let me know, alright? But everyone here should be happy to see you!”
Dani nodded and tried to hide her embarrassment. She wasn’t used to people going so far out of their way to keep her comfortable.
“Now, go and say hi to people! Phoebe is around here somewhere, probably hiding from us so she doesn’t have to peel carrots. Enjoy the festivities!”
Right. This really will be a good day, won’t it. Finally.
***
Few things feel better than being focused on something you care about. For Simon, cooking was one of those things. When he was in the kitchen and able to get help where he needed and utilize freedom when he wanted, it was bliss. Dani and Phoebe had helped with preparing the vegetables, his mother kept everything on the stove top stirred to prevent burning, his grandma would pull a utensil or spice out of a random cupboard whenever Simon asked about it. Even his Uncle Mark pitched in by running to the store when Simon realized they didn’t have enough stock for everything.
So when the time came to wash his hands and settle down in the living room with the rest of his family, he didn’t feel relaxed. He tried to help his grandma with the dishes that he dirtied while cooking but she wouldn’t have it. Meanwhile, his aunts, uncles, and cousins were watching a football game on the big tv, though none looked that invested.
It’s fine if they couldn’t help cook, the kitchen was crowded enough, but they should be the ones washing the dishes! I guess grandma is still just their mother to most of their eyes, though. Ugh, why don’t they feel guilty for not helping at all?
It was a new feeling for Simon to get annoyed with his family. Growing up, he just thought it was how things went. Grandma cooked, some people would go help, and some wouldn’t. He was in the third group for most of his life, until two years earlier when his grandfather passed away. His eyes were opened to how much his grandma did by herself. After that he was the first one up to help, even forcing his sister, Phoebe, to follow suit.
Oh well. Grandma doesn’t seem bothered by it so I’ll try not to let it bother me. At least Dani–
Suddenly, he remembered his best friend and roommate had come with him and was now loose in the house. While cooking he had gotten so used to her having something to do he didn’t worry about her getting nervous.
Where did she go? My keys have been in my pocket this whole time, so she can’t be in the car.
His grandmother’s house wasn’t small by any means. His grandparents bought it decades ago, back when they had three children to raise, his mother being one of them. Instead of selling it and downsizing when they moved out, they kept it and took pleasure in hosting regular dinner parties with friends and family, with lots of space.
He drew the house’s layout in his mind. His grandma was in the kitchen washing dishes, while his mom stayed to keep her company. He was in the living room with all of his aunts and uncles, as well as two of his older cousins. They were all making idle chatter over a bottle of wine one of them brought. There was a small room upstairs with a couch and some bookshelves that people would relax in sometimes which his grandmother dubbed the “book nook,” as well as a basement with a pool table. He figured his younger cousins were downstairs so they could talk out of earshot of their parents, leaving the book nook as the only place Dani could be.
She must have not seen where I went and fled there to avoid my family. God, I’ve been awful at this, she must hate me…again.
Attempting to not garner any questions from his family, he casually stood up and slid his way out of the living room and toward the stairwell. As he ascended up the glossy wooden steps, which he worried might become a hazard for his aging grandma, he heard Dani’s voice.
Oh, she sounds fine. I guess I was worried about– Wait, who is she talking to?
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There were too many cars parked in front of the house: Four. Five if Dani counted Simon’s car.
Well I guess it could be worse. Though we’re here early, so way more people will probably show up as the day goes on.
She and Simon walked up to the front door, an action that took much longer than she expected. Partially because it was an older house with a long dirt driveway, but also because time was slowing down for her.
The nap she managed to score on the ride over didn’t help as much as she had hoped. Simon asked her what felt like a dozen times if she was okay before they left the car but she brushed him off.
I’m sorry, Simon. I regret what I said, let’s just listen to staticky radio for another twenty minutes, please.
Her silent pleas were no use. As they finally reached the front door, Simon gave it three quick raps and their fate was sealed. Dani stepped back to hide half of herself behind Simon and the grocery bag of ingredients he had brought along to help with the dinner.
In her head, she was replaying all the times she had come out to people. Her parents, that went poorly. With Simon it went well although she was a nervous wreck three days beforehand. Ryan wasn’t as hard to come out to, though she didn’t have much of a choice once Simon knew. And then Rachel, Dani was so drunk she thought it was a dream the next day until she got a text from her later in the day.
So a pretty mixed bag overall. But for this I’m already out to these people? How does that work?
Part of her regretted allowing Simon to tell his mom about her. That part wanted to go wipe her makeup off, switch into undeniable boy clothes, and drop her voice back down to her old resonance.
Reflexively, she took a deep breath.
Okay, no. We’re done thinking this way. I’ve had enough time to prepare, I’m done being nervous about how people will perceive me.
She knew that was a lie but it made her feel better for the time being.
This will be a fun day, with lots of talking and eating and I’ll be exhausted by the end but I’ll love it. If something goes wrong I’ll worry about it when I’m home in my room again. Yeah. I’ve got this.
“They must all be in the kitchen,” Simon said. He looked to his right where Dani was previously standing only to find her a foot behind him. “Are you that nervous? If you want to take a breather in the car at any point just let me know.”
Dani reclaimed her place by the door. “No, sorry. I’m still tired, that’s all.” She rubbed her eyes to better sell her act.
Simon raised his hand to knock again when the sound of footsteps and laughter was heard from inside.
“I’m coming!” Said a muffled voice. The door opened up, revealing Simon’s mother.
In high school, Dani looked up to Simon’s mom. For a few reasons. Namely, she was a tall woman. If she said she had modeled in her youth nobody would doubt her, standing at six foot one and having facial features that sculptors spent years practicing to replicate. But more than that, she would treat Dani like her own child whenever she was at their house.
On weekends she would spend Saturday nights at Simon’s to avoid going to church the next morning with her parents. She wouldn’t have minded as much if everyone she met each Sunday didn’t try and convince her to get a manlier haircut, or try and sniff out if she was attracted to men through not-so-subtle conversations. It was much more preferable to play video games all night with Simon, or play board games with him, his mom, and his sister after breakfast.
Of course that led to some fighting between her and Simon’s mothers. Her mom claimed that Dani was being stolen away from her, while Simon’s mom pointed out that Dani could make her own choices. Eventually they came to an agreement where as long as Dani would go to church once a month, the other three weekends she could go wherever.
After high school ended, Dani only saw her a handful of times. Simon had his own dorm to live in and that was that. She always wanted to thank her for what she had done to improve her life growing up and felt guilty she never got the chance.
And now here I am, asking even more from her. Crashing her family’s holiday because of my parents again. I won’t let myself leave today without thanking her.
“Oh my god!” Her voice hadn’t changed at all, despite a few of her blonde hairs turning white. “It’s been way too long! Danielle, right?”
Dani felt happy at hearing her name said aloud by her. “Yeah, but you can still use Dani if you’d like, I don’t mind.” She already felt new, happier emotions welling up inside of her. Anxiousness replaced with nostalgia and joy. “It’s great seeing you again.”
“Yes, of course! It’s great seeing you too!” Her smile was kind and put Dani at ease. “You can call me Daria, while we’re at it. We’re all adults now.”
Simon held up his plastic bag. “I brought stuff.”
Daria rolled her eyes. “Oh go set them down inside.” She pointed to herself and then Dani.
“We have some catching up to do.” She turned to allow Simon and Dani to pass through the door. “Come on in, you’re here just in time! We were about to put the turkey in the microwave.”
“Not funny,” Simon said as he took off his shoes. His smirk revealed his true thoughts, though.
While he set his groceries on the counter, Dani awkwardly stood in the foyer with Daria. She tried to ignore it, but kept noticing Simon’s mother glancing at her and smiling.
Well it’s a lot better than being weirded out by me.
Normally if someone were to stare at her that way, Dani would assume they were laughing at her. That they found her strange and amusing and were using her for their entertainment. But with Daria that idea never crossed her mind. She knew that woman was nothing but positivity and warmth. It did make her curious how Simon ended up so…interesting.
“Thank you for letting me be here, by the way.” Dani wasn’t able to keep eye contact while she spoke, though she did keep her volume higher than her usual muttering. She was disappointed her thanks wasn’t as heartfelt as she wanted to convey but was mostly just glad to have said anything.
“Don’t worry at all, dear.” Daria pulled her into a loose hug. “It’s like I’ve always told you: when your family isn’t working out, we’re your family.” She stepped back, entering the main house. “If anything happens with anyone, find me and let me know, alright? But everyone here should be happy to see you!”
Dani nodded and tried to hide her embarrassment. She wasn’t used to people going so far out of their way to keep her comfortable.
“Now, go and say hi to people! Phoebe is around here somewhere, probably hiding from us so she doesn’t have to peel carrots. Enjoy the festivities!”
Right. This really will be a good day, won’t it. Finally.
***
Few things feel better than being focused on something you care about. For Simon, cooking was one of those things. When he was in the kitchen and able to get help where he needed and utilize freedom when he wanted, it was bliss. Dani and Phoebe had helped with preparing the vegetables, his mother kept everything on the stove top stirred to prevent burning, his grandma would pull a utensil or spice out of a random cupboard whenever Simon asked about it. Even his Uncle Mark pitched in by running to the store when Simon realized they didn’t have enough stock for everything.
So when the time came to wash his hands and settle down in the living room with the rest of his family, he didn’t feel relaxed. He tried to help his grandma with the dishes that he dirtied while cooking but she wouldn’t have it. Meanwhile, his aunts, uncles, and cousins were watching a football game on the big tv, though none looked that invested.
It’s fine if they couldn’t help cook, the kitchen was crowded enough, but they should be the ones washing the dishes! I guess grandma is still just their mother to most of their eyes, though. Ugh, why don’t they feel guilty for not helping at all?
It was a new feeling for Simon to get annoyed with his family. Growing up, he just thought it was how things went. Grandma cooked, some people would go help, and some wouldn’t. He was in the third group for most of his life, until two years earlier when his grandfather passed away. His eyes were opened to how much his grandma did by herself. After that he was the first one up to help, even forcing his sister, Phoebe, to follow suit.
Oh well. Grandma doesn’t seem bothered by it so I’ll try not to let it bother me. At least Dani–
Suddenly, he remembered his best friend and roommate had come with him and was now loose in the house. While cooking he had gotten so used to her having something to do he didn’t worry about her getting nervous.
Where did she go? My keys have been in my pocket this whole time, so she can’t be in the car.
His grandmother’s house wasn’t small by any means. His grandparents bought it decades ago, back when they had three children to raise, his mother being one of them. Instead of selling it and downsizing when they moved out, they kept it and took pleasure in hosting regular dinner parties with friends and family, with lots of space.
He drew the house’s layout in his mind. His grandma was in the kitchen washing dishes, while his mom stayed to keep her company. He was in the living room with all of his aunts and uncles, as well as two of his older cousins. They were all making idle chatter over a bottle of wine one of them brought. There was a small room upstairs with a couch and some bookshelves that people would relax in sometimes which his grandmother dubbed the “book nook,” as well as a basement with a pool table. He figured his younger cousins were downstairs so they could talk out of earshot of their parents, leaving the book nook as the only place Dani could be.
She must have not seen where I went and fled there to avoid my family. God, I’ve been awful at this, she must hate me…again.
Attempting to not garner any questions from his family, he casually stood up and slid his way out of the living room and toward the stairwell. As he ascended up the glossy wooden steps, which he worried might become a hazard for his aging grandma, he heard Dani’s voice.
Oh, she sounds fine. I guess I was worried about– Wait, who is she talking to?
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