As the words grew longer, my voice began to tremble. If I were to deceive no one other than Kamian, I could not afford to reveal even the slightest flaw. I clenched my sweaty hands around the autumn leaves as if they were a lifeline. Yet, in the penetrating gaze that seemed to see through my innermost thoughts, I crumbled helplessly. That expression, an inscrutable countenance revealing no intentions. I felt weak in the face of that visage. My shoulders slumped, as if I were a child standing before my parents after committing a wrongdoing.
“It’s cold. Shall we go inside?”
It was a futile attempt to evade. Kamian was foolish and predictable enough to notice my desire to avoid conversation. Just as I was about to rise from the bench and head home, a hand grabbed hold of me, its grip forcing me to turn around. The unchanging, chilling face looked down at me.
“When Leo dies,”
“…,”
“Who will you replace in my position next? Tell me.”
Kamian struggled to contain his rising anger. His tone, as if he were chewing on each word, revealed his concealed jealousy.
“Are you threatening me now?”
“Simply answer my question.”
He would act gentle and accommodating towards me, as if he would provide me with everything, even his own life, but if I dared to stray even slightly beyond his boundaries, he would be unable to hide his possessiveness and reveal his oppressive demeanour. It was that aspect of him that ignited a fire within me. Even the guilt I felt for lying to him vanished into thin air, replaced by a void filled with a surge of emotion.
I clenched my teeth and struck his chest with all my might. The pain in my clenched fist was unbearable, yet his solid body remained unmoved like a rock.
“You really have no luck with that kind of behaviour.”
I wanted to violently shake off the hand that held mine. However, no matter how much I struggled, I knew I couldn’t detach a single finger. Kamian would forcibly extract the words he wanted to hear from my mouth. He always did. But the more he did, the more the defiance within me grew stronger.
“Who I live with or what I do, what does it matter to you? Don’t meddle in every little thing. I’m sick and tired of it!”
With my free hand, the one not caught by him, I forcibly pried Kamian’s hand away. Yet, the fingers tightly entwined around my wrist showed no signs of loosening their grip, stubbornly holding onto me.
“Let go. Release this.”
I struck and scratched him wildly, but he remained motionless. My breath grew increasingly erratic, and the fire within me burned fiercer. Kamian continued to gaze at me with his cold, distant face.
“Tell me.”
“You lunatic.”
“Whether we stay like this for the rest of our lives, ah, that’s fine too.”
A warmth gathered at the corner of my eye. Kamian, who stubbornly insisted on doing things his own way without any regard for my feelings, was becoming increasingly detestable and resentful. The desire to strike him with a single blow welled up within me, but I knew that expending all my strength to throw a punch would only leave me depleted, adding to my sorrow.
“Leo, who will you have by your side next? It won’t be you, no matter who it is.”
My thorny words pierced Kamian. He merely listened to me in silence. I unleashed my burning frustration without restraint, while he remained quietly suppressed.
“If only the two of us were left in this world, then, only then could I be by your side?”
He appeared more serious than ever before. His tone of speech was without mercy, and his words were dreadfully menacing. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine and a single tear roll down my cheek. Kamian casually spoke of killing Leo and all the townspeople. In the novel, I might have considered such a possibility for Kamian, but the Kamian gripping my wrist before my very eyes was not meant to be that way.
Kamian wrapped his hand around one side of my face, using his thumb to wipe away my tears. Amidst this situation, I was struck by the fact that I didn’t mind his tender touch. I closed my quivering eyelids. The tears clinging to the corners of my eyes fell freely. I opened my eyes, keeping them hidden beneath my eyelids, and hesitantly parted my lips.
“Just stop doing things like that.”
“…”
“Because I would die too.”
The firm grip on my wrist trembled slightly. Taking advantage of the moment, I twisted my hand slightly, and his long finger fell lifelessly. I opened my eyes, which had been closed, and took a step back. With my liberated palm, I gently wiped my tear-stained eyes.
“Why do you want to be by my side?”
“…”
“Do you like me?”
I thought this was my chance. If he confessed his feelings, I would proudly reject him. With harsh words, I would shatter his heart and tear love to pieces, making it impossible for him to ever pick up the fragments again.
Kamian looked at me with eyes I couldn’t fathom. He didn’t show surprise or confusion, but remained calm and submerged. The anger that flickered in his crimson irises concealed all traces.
“Liv.”
As the words grew longer, my voice began to tremble. If I were to deceive no one other than Kamian, I could not afford to reveal even the slightest flaw. I clenched my sweaty hands around the autumn leaves as if they were a lifeline. Yet, in the penetrating gaze that seemed to see through my innermost thoughts, I crumbled helplessly. That expression, an inscrutable countenance revealing no intentions. I felt weak in the face of that visage. My shoulders slumped, as if I were a child standing before my parents after committing a wrongdoing.
“It’s cold. Shall we go inside?”
It was a futile attempt to evade. Kamian was foolish and predictable enough to notice my desire to avoid conversation. Just as I was about to rise from the bench and head home, a hand grabbed hold of me, its grip forcing me to turn around. The unchanging, chilling face looked down at me.
“When Leo dies,”
“…,”
“Who will you replace in my position next? Tell me.”
Kamian struggled to contain his rising anger. His tone, as if he were chewing on each word, revealed his concealed jealousy.
“Are you threatening me now?”
“Simply answer my question.”
He would act gentle and accommodating towards me, as if he would provide me with everything, even his own life, but if I dared to stray even slightly beyond his boundaries, he would be unable to hide his possessiveness and reveal his oppressive demeanour. It was that aspect of him that ignited a fire within me. Even the guilt I felt for lying to him vanished into thin air, replaced by a void filled with a surge of emotion.
I clenched my teeth and struck his chest with all my might. The pain in my clenched fist was unbearable, yet his solid body remained unmoved like a rock.
“You really have no luck with that kind of behaviour.”
I wanted to violently shake off the hand that held mine. However, no matter how much I struggled, I knew I couldn’t detach a single finger. Kamian would forcibly extract the words he wanted to hear from my mouth. He always did. But the more he did, the more the defiance within me grew stronger.
“Who I live with or what I do, what does it matter to you? Don’t meddle in every little thing. I’m sick and tired of it!”
With my free hand, the one not caught by him, I forcibly pried Kamian’s hand away. Yet, the fingers tightly entwined around my wrist showed no signs of loosening their grip, stubbornly holding onto me.
“Let go. Release this.”
I struck and scratched him wildly, but he remained motionless. My breath grew increasingly erratic, and the fire within me burned fiercer. Kamian continued to gaze at me with his cold, distant face.
“Tell me.”
“You lunatic.”
“Whether we stay like this for the rest of our lives, ah, that’s fine too.”
A warmth gathered at the corner of my eye. Kamian, who stubbornly insisted on doing things his own way without any regard for my feelings, was becoming increasingly detestable and resentful. The desire to strike him with a single blow welled up within me, but I knew that expending all my strength to throw a punch would only leave me depleted, adding to my sorrow.
“Leo, who will you have by your side next? It won’t be you, no matter who it is.”
My thorny words pierced Kamian. He merely listened to me in silence. I unleashed my burning frustration without restraint, while he remained quietly suppressed.
“If only the two of us were left in this world, then, only then could I be by your side?”
He appeared more serious than ever before. His tone of speech was without mercy, and his words were dreadfully menacing. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine and a single tear roll down my cheek. Kamian casually spoke of killing Leo and all the townspeople. In the novel, I might have considered such a possibility for Kamian, but the Kamian gripping my wrist before my very eyes was not meant to be that way.
Kamian wrapped his hand around one side of my face, using his thumb to wipe away my tears. Amidst this situation, I was struck by the fact that I didn’t mind his tender touch. I closed my quivering eyelids. The tears clinging to the corners of my eyes fell freely. I opened my eyes, keeping them hidden beneath my eyelids, and hesitantly parted my lips.
“Just stop doing things like that.”
“…”
“Because I would die too.”
The firm grip on my wrist trembled slightly. Taking advantage of the moment, I twisted my hand slightly, and his long finger fell lifelessly. I opened my eyes, which had been closed, and took a step back. With my liberated palm, I gently wiped my tear-stained eyes.
“Why do you want to be by my side?”
“…”
“Do you like me?”
I thought this was my chance. If he confessed his feelings, I would proudly reject him. With harsh words, I would shatter his heart and tear love to pieces, making it impossible for him to ever pick up the fragments again.
Kamian looked at me with eyes I couldn’t fathom. He didn’t show surprise or confusion, but remained calm and submerged. The anger that flickered in his crimson irises concealed all traces.
“Liv.”
