Ch. 18
“Control”
The water in the tub is cold at first, but I feel my core start to warm. I am so cold. My teeth are chattering. I need to replace the iciness that still lingers through me from what happened earlier. Frustration starts to feel my soul. Ugh. I need warmth. I try to wedge myself in the small tub, and even with my small frame, my knees are pressed against my chest. But it’ll have to do. Devlyn is laying on the bed across the room and is looking at the ceiling.
“So, you are telling me…” she starts, “You first snuck out of the castle by mixing sleeping potions into the guards’ dinner. You somehow managed to figure out which ones were in rotation for your wing of the castle. How did you find that out by the way?” I know she is thinking aloud. “Farryn nearly ripped the two guards into pieces when your Mother realized you were gone. Where did you get purple mushroom roots anyway?” Her hands are thrown into the air.
“There are plenty, PLENTY, of spell and potion books in the grand library. As someone who has read almost every single book in there more than once and let’s just say…” I motion my hands around my face. Gliding my index fingers first at the top of my head and down my cheeks. “Some people are easily persuaded now more than when I was younger. So, of course, I was able to gather supplies and figure out a simple sleeping potion.” Once my fingers pass my eyes, my gaze, I noticed they are no longer red, more a pale pink against my snow like skin.
“Then…” I know she is choosing to ignore my previous statement. If she chooses to ignore it, then she doesn’t know. I scoff. I’m pretty proud of all of this and am unsure why I didn’t think of that sooner. Decades stuck inside, trapped in those walls.
Hell a lot easier than trying to climb down the rock wall below the large bay window in my wing of the castle. I have a few scars from my previous ventures down the rock wall. Not to mentions when the wards were up. Devlyn doesn’t miss a beat as I am lost in thought and keeps going. “They pass the fuck out conveniently while Halfy was hunting for a midnight snack. Wickedly smart creature you are.” Timing is everything. After a few, or maybe a lot, of failed missions of leaving the castle walls I had to learn how to be crafty.
I was not allowed outside the castle walls other than a handful of times, and I’m never allowed out the sights of the guards, scouts, mostly Devlyn. I have been alive for almost three decades and I’m still under lock and key. Much like the beast inside. No. I shake my head. That is different. We are different. Devlyn’s hands falling to her face snaps me back to reality. “You then proceed to steal food that was supposed to be for breakfast the next morning.”
“I crumbled the bread in my satchel before I could even eat it.” I say while tilting my head back and my hair barely touching the water. I wonder where my satchel even is now. I long forgot about it. Shit. “Oh, I almost ate a moth, but thankfully chose against it.”
I am still cold. My skin is prickly and even my fingers seem paler than normal. I know I’m warming the water. I can feel it. But why am I still cold?
“A moth, a bug, and you?” She chuckles slightly but continues. After a shook her a look. Nyx, bugs are gross. “Then, you fly through the night going further and further away from the castle. Coming across simple fae creatures, other than the white stag. I haven’t seen one of those before. Be sure to tell Oana about that when we get home. To see if there is any literature on those.” Not in the grand library, I know that for sure. I feel my heart flutter a little at the word home. That was my home even if I feel like a bird in a cage sometimes.
Devlyn sits up on the bed now. “Then you are drawn to an area and happen to stumble across a meeting between a fucking shadow wielding vampire and Muma Padurii. The damn mother of the forest. You mistakenly interrupted that and even worse got caught. Shame on you by the way.” She stretches her legs forward and her ankles hang off the bed. She leans back on the palms of her hands looking at the wall behind me. Probably envisioning what she would have done differently. I feel my soul jump down a few levels. Pride cracked.
“Curiosity kills the cat, or bat, well not really…” I state as my mind trails off. My fingers and toes feel like pins and needles from the cold.
She scowls and then says, “Then, in order to not be eaten or possibly killed or let Kiza out.” I shudder at the thought of his name …” She pauses, thinking for a moment, watching my face. She knows that I don’t even speak his name out loud, my beast. Giving him more power over me. To control me. “You bit the shadow vampire and took something from him. Leaving him…harmless…” Her eyes flash to me and I’m brushing the knots out of my hair while my feet dangle out the small tub. “Although, he can make you squirm. Much like when you see Anansis, maybe even more so.”
I cut her a glare and hiss. I hate those creepy crawling things. “Shut up.” I glance over the tub just to make sure I didn’t miss any Anansis as they start to fill my brain.
I look at my thigh finally. There is the faint outline of a handprint, purple, along the edge where coldness met his warmth. I huff out a breath.
I place my freezing hands over my thigh. First ice, lingering coldness that is still here, and then my beast form effortlessly coming out even though I didn’t call it and my mental door was locked, even double locked. A shiver runs through me, and I try to increase my heat in the tub. The water in the tub starts to steam. I start scrubbing my hands, and then my thigh. Trying to get the lingering touch off. Gross. “I could easily snap every bone in his body.”
Devlyn is smiling while watching me and says, “Hmm…maybe not every bone…” I feel my mouth fall, but she quickly continues before I can say anything more. Dirty woman she is. “You then passed out, and I am not surprised, just to pull that kind of…not harmlessness…from let alone a vampire one who can wield shadows and who knows what else, and Halfy finds you about that time, thankfully. He chases him, but he knew to climb trees. Because he is actually a three hundred old shadow vampire from Espa, where Akhluts roam. Interesting. We have a few books on Espa….”
Yeah, I know.
“I have been there a few times…”
What? I didn’t know that.
“So, after realizing that he chose not to leave, you decided that you could spin this into possibly a captive with secrets and information that could benefit us. Even though you told him only your Mother could retrieve what was taken from him.”
Honestly, I can’t lie about something I don’t fully know the answer to. I only have one somewhat success story compared to the dozens of failures. Plus, I figured it would be safer in the castle walls than out in the endless forest. It is almost as if Devlyn can read my thoughts, I know she can’t, but she and I, know who can, well kind of.
She continues, “But, yes, it would be safer at home, and for your Mother to decide if she is in a giving mood.” Devlyn’s eyebrows burrow. “That isn’t even the last of it…You watch him relive long forgotten memories. Which was sweet.”
I push my face under the water and my legs are fully out of the tub at this point. This tub should be boiling, but it’s not, or I am just that cold. My thigh rubbed raw now even though I know the handprint is still underneath. Gross. I snarl under the water and bubbles flow to the surface.
The images of the Balaur roaring under the lake water fill my brain. I break the water surface and move some pieces of my hair out of my face. Devlyn has fallen back on to the bed, again.
“THEN, you leave him with Halfy and …” She shoots up looking straight at me. I am mid braid when I meet her eyes. “You let the beast out.” She whispers. “You let Kiza, OUT.” I thought Zanir talked too much.
“You know why.” I say, finally standing up and reaching for a towel that sits on a chair next to the small tub. Goose bumps running down my arms.
Don’t. Say. His. Name. Devlyn’s eyes go hazy for a moment. Shit. I quickly look away from her. Shit. Remain. Focus.
“Yes…” She huffs and rubs her temples while looking at me, with a sideways glance.
I quickly look away. I did not mean to do that. After my powers started changing, I found myself drifting in other people’s heads. As if I need anything else to worry about. I have always been able to enter Halfy’s mind, even other creatures, like the Samca. But Devlyn is different, my friends are different, people are different. I am not sure how it works. I have never just entered someone’s mind like that. Without a second thought. I would never invade any of my friends’ minds…and yet I just did…and wielded a command while in it…My emotions, my mind, my powers are getting out of control.
She huffs again, shakes her head, bless her. Her eyes are watching me and then she says. “After… running through the forest… you hear Halfy howl ….and the shriek of a…Samca…” She lowers her voice at the end. If I didn’t know she was trying to keep from others hearing, I would have thought she is trying to create a more dramatic effect. “And … you killed it…” Her voice getting even lower. She is moving towards me now, and quickly. “And it was bound…” She grabs my wrist and looks at the Samca inked on my skin. Her fingers tracing the rune on the Samca. My goose bumps start to fade, but the coldness stays. She drops my wrist and then turns back to the bed while running her fingers through her short wine hair. Her hand moving past the swirled tattoos on both shaved sides of her head. “Then, you fight a damn Balaur. A fucking …dragon Mihaela.” She says as her hands move from her hair to her mouth covering the words as she speaks them. “Which was also bound…”
I’m standing with the small towel wrapped around me, water dripping off me onto the wooden planks of the floor.
“Yeah, that sounds about right. How was your week?” I say lightheartedly while walking to the small table across the room where my hand me down scout’s clothes rest.
It was more of a side table with a single lit candle stick which is dying out. I flick my wrist towards it and the flames grow bright, and wild…and then pop. This corner of the room goes dark. Thankfully there are candle lights closer to the bed. After the last few days and tonight’s events, I feel the more I use my powers, accidentally or not, the more unwieldly they get, and this damn coldness.
“Stressful, but that is only partly your fault.” She is leaning off the bed now, her palms holding her face up. Snarky ass. “Your Mother met with some nymphs while you were lollygagging through the endless forest.”
I’m shimming down my baggy shirt and pull the sleeves down covering the Samca at my wrist. Without being tucked into my pants or from the vest this shirt goes to my knees. Curse my tiny body, but my thigh is thankfully covered. “Nymphs? Why was she meeting with nymphs?” I start walking to the bed.
“They called a meeting with your Mother on behalf of Leshy.”
“Leshy? The tree entity? Doesn’t he work closely with Muma Padurii?” I say why crawling past Devlyn who is resting with her back against the headboard of the bed now. She’s antsy, she’s in a different position every time I look at her.
Leshy is a flora, tree entity, much like a spirit. He looks like a tree within the forest, but if one looks closely to him, a human face is within the bark. It is told that Leshy is one of the creatures who works under Muma Padurii to protect the forest. Many books say that Muma Padurii conjured him herself. Why were they reaching out to Mother?
“Yes, which makes the meeting from your shadow vampire and Muma Padurii more interesting.”
“I don’t claim him.” I say while shoving my legs under the blanket. With my legs straight out, my feet hang off. Is this a child’s bed? I bring my knees close to my chest. “He is just someone who obviously has information that can benefit the clan and would like his precious…powers back.” In return proving my worth to the clan, to Mother.
“Hmm…” Devlyn leans onto her wrists to look at me.
“Don’t hmm, me.” I bury my face under the blanket.
“I saw your hands earlier. I’m not talking about your new tattoo, the purples. The ice. I could feel the coldness coming off you.” I feel her tug on the blanket. “I can feel it coming off you now.”
I groan and move the blanket completely off me. “Truthfully…over the last few days…I have left my mental door open more than I would like to admit.” I stare blankly as images move through my mind. The bite, the buck, the Samca, the damn Balaur. “I feel I may have weakened the locks.” I glance at her with some desperation. “And his, our power is leaking through. Leaving my emotions, my feelings, more intense.” Sure, that sounds totally reasonable. I move the edge of my baggy shirt exposing the faint handprint on my thigh. Redness around the faint purple outline. My scrubbing only seemed to make it worse.
Her eyes land on my thigh. “And he has no…powers?”
“As far as I know.” Passing out for hours and the life force that was drained from me were a pretty good indication.
“So, you think this, is from your powers?” She grabs my wrist she held earlier. Still pale like snow. No redness or purples. I feel more calm with her touch, more grounded.
“Do you remember…when I was younger…when Mother had all those powerful wizards come to the castle. When my power suddenly became so wild and…feral…. When I couldn’t control…myself? My powers were…well are, linked to strong emotions and feelings. Touch during those times leaves marks…” I grimace at the thought. I have never been much of a touchy-feely person. I wonder deep down if this is why. I hate the sense I am being weak, like something is wrong with me. Yet again, after years and years of keeping everything in check and being the person people needed me to be, maybe the foundation is finally chipping.
She clears her throat and even glances to the door before turning back to me. “Are...all your powers getting out of…control?” She is searching my eyes, looking. I know she felt some of them earlier. A pang of guilt runs over me.
“I haven’t purposely…” I look away from her. “Used more than what you already know…but I do feel like they are flowing more easily. Without thought…” Which makes me dangerous.
She looks at me with a soft smile which almost looks unnatural for her. “Did this all start after meeting the shadow vampire?”
“Honestly…” Her face turns harder. That didn’t last long. “I felt a shift before I left. That’s why I left to try and figure it out for myself. I need space…” I look away from her. I can’t stand bothering others with my problems. I’m young compared to many of the immortal beings that fill this world, fill the clan, that fill my friend group, Devlyn and Sadar are even older than Zanir, but in the mortal world, I am an adult. Even if I have powers, still. I should have this all figured out by now. “Devlyn I couldn’t be locked away again…”
She grabs my hands in hers. No warmth like Zanir’s. Thankfully. “You are so frustrating. You know you have people, you have me, if you EVER need help.”
I feel my mouth become dry. “I know…” I say with a raspy voice. More guilt makes waves through me. Even though Devlyn and I are friends, there are still things I don’t want to bother Mother’s second with. She has too many things on her plate already. Even though she is the one who was sent to come retrieve me. Well, I made a huge mess by being an equally large mess.
“Remain…” She takes a deep breath and I follow suit. “Calm…” and she exhales. Her fingers laced within mine. Her warmth around my cold. Redness starts to feel my once pale skin. Fucking shit. I need those ten drinks, now.
After a few deep breaths, the redness starts to fade.
Devlyn says. “Now let’s get some sleep. I know you need it.” I smile at her, and I raise my hand, the wrist with the inked Samca, and twist it. The candles’ flames vanish as all the candles fall to the ground.
Shit.
Devlyn lets out the faintest of laughs, “I’ll handle it in the morning.”
Ch. 18
“Control”
The water in the tub is cold at first, but I feel my core start to warm. I am so cold. My teeth are chattering. I need to replace the iciness that still lingers through me from what happened earlier. Frustration starts to feel my soul. Ugh. I need warmth. I try to wedge myself in the small tub, and even with my small frame, my knees are pressed against my chest. But it’ll have to do. Devlyn is laying on the bed across the room and is looking at the ceiling.
“So, you are telling me…” she starts, “You first snuck out of the castle by mixing sleeping potions into the guards’ dinner. You somehow managed to figure out which ones were in rotation for your wing of the castle. How did you find that out by the way?” I know she is thinking aloud. “Farryn nearly ripped the two guards into pieces when your Mother realized you were gone. Where did you get purple mushroom roots anyway?” Her hands are thrown into the air.
“There are plenty, PLENTY, of spell and potion books in the grand library. As someone who has read almost every single book in there more than once and let’s just say…” I motion my hands around my face. Gliding my index fingers first at the top of my head and down my cheeks. “Some people are easily persuaded now more than when I was younger. So, of course, I was able to gather supplies and figure out a simple sleeping potion.” Once my fingers pass my eyes, my gaze, I noticed they are no longer red, more a pale pink against my snow like skin.
“Then…” I know she is choosing to ignore my previous statement. If she chooses to ignore it, then she doesn’t know. I scoff. I’m pretty proud of all of this and am unsure why I didn’t think of that sooner. Decades stuck inside, trapped in those walls.
Hell a lot easier than trying to climb down the rock wall below the large bay window in my wing of the castle. I have a few scars from my previous ventures down the rock wall. Not to mentions when the wards were up. Devlyn doesn’t miss a beat as I am lost in thought and keeps going. “They pass the fuck out conveniently while Halfy was hunting for a midnight snack. Wickedly smart creature you are.” Timing is everything. After a few, or maybe a lot, of failed missions of leaving the castle walls I had to learn how to be crafty.
I was not allowed outside the castle walls other than a handful of times, and I’m never allowed out the sights of the guards, scouts, mostly Devlyn. I have been alive for almost three decades and I’m still under lock and key. Much like the beast inside. No. I shake my head. That is different. We are different. Devlyn’s hands falling to her face snaps me back to reality. “You then proceed to steal food that was supposed to be for breakfast the next morning.”
“I crumbled the bread in my satchel before I could even eat it.” I say while tilting my head back and my hair barely touching the water. I wonder where my satchel even is now. I long forgot about it. Shit. “Oh, I almost ate a moth, but thankfully chose against it.”
I am still cold. My skin is prickly and even my fingers seem paler than normal. I know I’m warming the water. I can feel it. But why am I still cold?
“A moth, a bug, and you?” She chuckles slightly but continues. After a shook her a look. Nyx, bugs are gross. “Then, you fly through the night going further and further away from the castle. Coming across simple fae creatures, other than the white stag. I haven’t seen one of those before. Be sure to tell Oana about that when we get home. To see if there is any literature on those.” Not in the grand library, I know that for sure. I feel my heart flutter a little at the word home. That was my home even if I feel like a bird in a cage sometimes.
Devlyn sits up on the bed now. “Then you are drawn to an area and happen to stumble across a meeting between a fucking shadow wielding vampire and Muma Padurii. The damn mother of the forest. You mistakenly interrupted that and even worse got caught. Shame on you by the way.” She stretches her legs forward and her ankles hang off the bed. She leans back on the palms of her hands looking at the wall behind me. Probably envisioning what she would have done differently. I feel my soul jump down a few levels. Pride cracked.
“Curiosity kills the cat, or bat, well not really…” I state as my mind trails off. My fingers and toes feel like pins and needles from the cold.
She scowls and then says, “Then, in order to not be eaten or possibly killed or let Kiza out.” I shudder at the thought of his name …” She pauses, thinking for a moment, watching my face. She knows that I don’t even speak his name out loud, my beast. Giving him more power over me. To control me. “You bit the shadow vampire and took something from him. Leaving him…harmless…” Her eyes flash to me and I’m brushing the knots out of my hair while my feet dangle out the small tub. “Although, he can make you squirm. Much like when you see Anansis, maybe even more so.”
I cut her a glare and hiss. I hate those creepy crawling things. “Shut up.” I glance over the tub just to make sure I didn’t miss any Anansis as they start to fill my brain.
I look at my thigh finally. There is the faint outline of a handprint, purple, along the edge where coldness met his warmth. I huff out a breath.
I place my freezing hands over my thigh. First ice, lingering coldness that is still here, and then my beast form effortlessly coming out even though I didn’t call it and my mental door was locked, even double locked. A shiver runs through me, and I try to increase my heat in the tub. The water in the tub starts to steam. I start scrubbing my hands, and then my thigh. Trying to get the lingering touch off. Gross. “I could easily snap every bone in his body.”
Devlyn is smiling while watching me and says, “Hmm…maybe not every bone…” I feel my mouth fall, but she quickly continues before I can say anything more. Dirty woman she is. “You then passed out, and I am not surprised, just to pull that kind of…not harmlessness…from let alone a vampire one who can wield shadows and who knows what else, and Halfy finds you about that time, thankfully. He chases him, but he knew to climb trees. Because he is actually a three hundred old shadow vampire from Espa, where Akhluts roam. Interesting. We have a few books on Espa….”
Yeah, I know.
“I have been there a few times…”
What? I didn’t know that.
“So, after realizing that he chose not to leave, you decided that you could spin this into possibly a captive with secrets and information that could benefit us. Even though you told him only your Mother could retrieve what was taken from him.”
Honestly, I can’t lie about something I don’t fully know the answer to. I only have one somewhat success story compared to the dozens of failures. Plus, I figured it would be safer in the castle walls than out in the endless forest. It is almost as if Devlyn can read my thoughts, I know she can’t, but she and I, know who can, well kind of.
She continues, “But, yes, it would be safer at home, and for your Mother to decide if she is in a giving mood.” Devlyn’s eyebrows burrow. “That isn’t even the last of it…You watch him relive long forgotten memories. Which was sweet.”
I push my face under the water and my legs are fully out of the tub at this point. This tub should be boiling, but it’s not, or I am just that cold. My thigh rubbed raw now even though I know the handprint is still underneath. Gross. I snarl under the water and bubbles flow to the surface.
The images of the Balaur roaring under the lake water fill my brain. I break the water surface and move some pieces of my hair out of my face. Devlyn has fallen back on to the bed, again.
“THEN, you leave him with Halfy and …” She shoots up looking straight at me. I am mid braid when I meet her eyes. “You let the beast out.” She whispers. “You let Kiza, OUT.” I thought Zanir talked too much.
“You know why.” I say, finally standing up and reaching for a towel that sits on a chair next to the small tub. Goose bumps running down my arms.
Don’t. Say. His. Name. Devlyn’s eyes go hazy for a moment. Shit. I quickly look away from her. Shit. Remain. Focus.
“Yes…” She huffs and rubs her temples while looking at me, with a sideways glance.
I quickly look away. I did not mean to do that. After my powers started changing, I found myself drifting in other people’s heads. As if I need anything else to worry about. I have always been able to enter Halfy’s mind, even other creatures, like the Samca. But Devlyn is different, my friends are different, people are different. I am not sure how it works. I have never just entered someone’s mind like that. Without a second thought. I would never invade any of my friends’ minds…and yet I just did…and wielded a command while in it…My emotions, my mind, my powers are getting out of control.
She huffs again, shakes her head, bless her. Her eyes are watching me and then she says. “After… running through the forest… you hear Halfy howl ….and the shriek of a…Samca…” She lowers her voice at the end. If I didn’t know she was trying to keep from others hearing, I would have thought she is trying to create a more dramatic effect. “And … you killed it…” Her voice getting even lower. She is moving towards me now, and quickly. “And it was bound…” She grabs my wrist and looks at the Samca inked on my skin. Her fingers tracing the rune on the Samca. My goose bumps start to fade, but the coldness stays. She drops my wrist and then turns back to the bed while running her fingers through her short wine hair. Her hand moving past the swirled tattoos on both shaved sides of her head. “Then, you fight a damn Balaur. A fucking …dragon Mihaela.” She says as her hands move from her hair to her mouth covering the words as she speaks them. “Which was also bound…”
I’m standing with the small towel wrapped around me, water dripping off me onto the wooden planks of the floor.
“Yeah, that sounds about right. How was your week?” I say lightheartedly while walking to the small table across the room where my hand me down scout’s clothes rest.
It was more of a side table with a single lit candle stick which is dying out. I flick my wrist towards it and the flames grow bright, and wild…and then pop. This corner of the room goes dark. Thankfully there are candle lights closer to the bed. After the last few days and tonight’s events, I feel the more I use my powers, accidentally or not, the more unwieldly they get, and this damn coldness.
“Stressful, but that is only partly your fault.” She is leaning off the bed now, her palms holding her face up. Snarky ass. “Your Mother met with some nymphs while you were lollygagging through the endless forest.”
I’m shimming down my baggy shirt and pull the sleeves down covering the Samca at my wrist. Without being tucked into my pants or from the vest this shirt goes to my knees. Curse my tiny body, but my thigh is thankfully covered. “Nymphs? Why was she meeting with nymphs?” I start walking to the bed.
“They called a meeting with your Mother on behalf of Leshy.”
“Leshy? The tree entity? Doesn’t he work closely with Muma Padurii?” I say why crawling past Devlyn who is resting with her back against the headboard of the bed now. She’s antsy, she’s in a different position every time I look at her.
Leshy is a flora, tree entity, much like a spirit. He looks like a tree within the forest, but if one looks closely to him, a human face is within the bark. It is told that Leshy is one of the creatures who works under Muma Padurii to protect the forest. Many books say that Muma Padurii conjured him herself. Why were they reaching out to Mother?
“Yes, which makes the meeting from your shadow vampire and Muma Padurii more interesting.”
“I don’t claim him.” I say while shoving my legs under the blanket. With my legs straight out, my feet hang off. Is this a child’s bed? I bring my knees close to my chest. “He is just someone who obviously has information that can benefit the clan and would like his precious…powers back.” In return proving my worth to the clan, to Mother.
“Hmm…” Devlyn leans onto her wrists to look at me.
“Don’t hmm, me.” I bury my face under the blanket.
“I saw your hands earlier. I’m not talking about your new tattoo, the purples. The ice. I could feel the coldness coming off you.” I feel her tug on the blanket. “I can feel it coming off you now.”
I groan and move the blanket completely off me. “Truthfully…over the last few days…I have left my mental door open more than I would like to admit.” I stare blankly as images move through my mind. The bite, the buck, the Samca, the damn Balaur. “I feel I may have weakened the locks.” I glance at her with some desperation. “And his, our power is leaking through. Leaving my emotions, my feelings, more intense.” Sure, that sounds totally reasonable. I move the edge of my baggy shirt exposing the faint handprint on my thigh. Redness around the faint purple outline. My scrubbing only seemed to make it worse.
Her eyes land on my thigh. “And he has no…powers?”
“As far as I know.” Passing out for hours and the life force that was drained from me were a pretty good indication.
“So, you think this, is from your powers?” She grabs my wrist she held earlier. Still pale like snow. No redness or purples. I feel more calm with her touch, more grounded.
“Do you remember…when I was younger…when Mother had all those powerful wizards come to the castle. When my power suddenly became so wild and…feral…. When I couldn’t control…myself? My powers were…well are, linked to strong emotions and feelings. Touch during those times leaves marks…” I grimace at the thought. I have never been much of a touchy-feely person. I wonder deep down if this is why. I hate the sense I am being weak, like something is wrong with me. Yet again, after years and years of keeping everything in check and being the person people needed me to be, maybe the foundation is finally chipping.
She clears her throat and even glances to the door before turning back to me. “Are...all your powers getting out of…control?” She is searching my eyes, looking. I know she felt some of them earlier. A pang of guilt runs over me.
“I haven’t purposely…” I look away from her. “Used more than what you already know…but I do feel like they are flowing more easily. Without thought…” Which makes me dangerous.
She looks at me with a soft smile which almost looks unnatural for her. “Did this all start after meeting the shadow vampire?”
“Honestly…” Her face turns harder. That didn’t last long. “I felt a shift before I left. That’s why I left to try and figure it out for myself. I need space…” I look away from her. I can’t stand bothering others with my problems. I’m young compared to many of the immortal beings that fill this world, fill the clan, that fill my friend group, Devlyn and Sadar are even older than Zanir, but in the mortal world, I am an adult. Even if I have powers, still. I should have this all figured out by now. “Devlyn I couldn’t be locked away again…”
She grabs my hands in hers. No warmth like Zanir’s. Thankfully. “You are so frustrating. You know you have people, you have me, if you EVER need help.”
I feel my mouth become dry. “I know…” I say with a raspy voice. More guilt makes waves through me. Even though Devlyn and I are friends, there are still things I don’t want to bother Mother’s second with. She has too many things on her plate already. Even though she is the one who was sent to come retrieve me. Well, I made a huge mess by being an equally large mess.
“Remain…” She takes a deep breath and I follow suit. “Calm…” and she exhales. Her fingers laced within mine. Her warmth around my cold. Redness starts to feel my once pale skin. Fucking shit. I need those ten drinks, now.
After a few deep breaths, the redness starts to fade.
Devlyn says. “Now let’s get some sleep. I know you need it.” I smile at her, and I raise my hand, the wrist with the inked Samca, and twist it. The candles’ flames vanish as all the candles fall to the ground.
Shit.
Devlyn lets out the faintest of laughs, “I’ll handle it in the morning.”
