Hello friends and lovers!
HAPPY CHAPPY DAY
Content Warning:
SpoilerNone? Again? Isn't that nice!
[collapse]
This is my plan, at least the first part. The Weaver wanted to examine and then destroy the crystal. But I’m going to use it more. We can lock Her out of my dreams with it.
Keep me safe from Her commands and influence.
But… it’s not a permanent solution. Jevita made that very clear, while I am more resistant to its side effects, I am very likely not immune. Our best hope for finding a safe solution is at the Academy.
I don’t care about the other’s reactions to my demand, not now that Tasii read them for me, just this monster. His face goes still, pale even. Eyes widen as he realizes I know what he did to me.
“I don’t know what–” He begins to deny on reflex.
My narrowed eyes cut his words short. Make him reconsider the lie and denials.
I lower my voice. “I’m not leaving here without it.”
He chokes a bit, “Are… Are you threatening me?”
“No. But will you really deny me this? After what you did?” I cut him off, anger a boil that I cannot tell if it’s mine or…. “I’ll also expect any notes or instructions you’ve gathered on it. Now. Tonight.”
“What’s she talking about, old friend?” The second monster asks, touches Zin’s arm.
My eyes dart to Judic, and I grip Tasii’s hand. But… her face has paled a bit as well, eyes locked on Zin. I don’t need my lover’s abilities to understand her expression.
She knows about the stone. But... is horrified that he used it?
“Ina… I’m…” Zin murmurs, glancing between his allies in shame and conflict. “I can’t. It’ll… if word gets out…”
“It won’t.” I state bluntly. “As much as I would like to… I’m not threatening you Zin, I need it.”
I’m not a monster like you.
That gets both Judic and him to suddenly jerk to focus on me.
“Need what?” Lady Ophrit huffs to try and hide the worry that is growing on her face. “Zin, we already agreed to invest in this group venture. What is she asking for? It can’t be anything you aren't willing to part with for this chance.”
There is a long pause. His eyes drift down to the table, fists clenched, face deep in thought.
“We don’t need to tell them, Zin.” I huff and whisper. “I don’t know why you’re keeping and using such a horrible thing, but just… let it go. I’m not going to hurt anyone with it. The opposite in fact.”
Judic begins to step forward, trying to get a better view of Zin’s face. Expression one of searching growing horror.
I glance at her, “If you know where he keeps it and notes on how to use it, go get them both please.”
Something in my eyes makes her step back, but… she pauses. Look at Zin. “Should I do as the Lady Sun Spoken asks?”
There is a long pause, and for a horrible moment… I think I’m going to have to push this much much harder. Might… might have to reveal secrets I’d rather keep to myself. Not to this monster, no, but to Judic. She’s already… turning from his influence with this knowledge.
But… He nods slowly. “Yes. Please retrieve the item and the little black journal I keep in my safe.”
I nod, let out a little breath of tension as Judic heads upstairs.
“What the fuck is she talking about!?!” Delphian hisses angrily. Mind filling in gaps of all the terrible things Zin could be guilty of.
He doesn’t answer, just… shakes his head for a second. “You’ll do it then? Go to the Academy and assist us in rewriting the Obelisks?”
“I’ll try.” I promise. “Just… Not with you.”
That hits him harder than any blow Yrelia could land. Face becomes such a… a broken twisted mess. But he nods. “My… I have contacts. I’ll write letters and introductions. As many as you need.” He whispers. “If… if you mean to trust Delphian and Gregoris, then they can guide you through whatever steps are best taken. They’re both graduates like myself. It’ll be a political mess once people find out your Sun Spoken, but… they can help you wade through it.”
I nod. The idea of working with and being close to a monster threatens my mind with pain, but… I can sidestep it for now. Maybe… Maybe I can–
Judic reappears. A small dark brown pouch atop a leather bound journal no bigger than her hand. She hesitates at the end of the table, eyes focus on Zin. He notices her, eyes haunted as he sees what she carries.
He nods.
She approaches, holds it out to me. From the corner of my eye I can see Delphian and Gregoris’ eyes go a bit wide as they guess at what lies within.
“Please… be careful.” Zin whispers. “You shouldn’t–”
“If it's not the right one, I’ll know.” I assure him and accept the items. “And I’ll need to come back. Which I’d like to never do.”
He winces, nods.
I turn my attention back to Lady Delphian and Ophrit, “We’re going to sleep in an inn for now, but you can expect us to arrive at your estate within the next day or so. If your offer is still open.”
Lady Ophrit looks to Delphian, who is still glaring at her monster of a cousin. Then, at a nudge from her partner, looks at me. “Of course.”
* * *
*
Kque is the one I hand the notes and little pouch to as I kneel before them in the stables. Her face is such a… painful thing to see. Jevita seemed to be a swirl of emotions as we eventually agreed to these plans, while Kque’s face seemed like one watching a lover die.
She nods, shudders, and lays the pouch between her legs. Then opens the book. As she scans through it, Yrelia, Tasii and I explain what happened.
“Oh fuck, That’s going to make this so much easier to deal with.” Jevita sighs out, eyes drifting between the pouch, the book, and Kque. “I’m glad to hear we’re leaving Zin behind.”
“Same,” Yrelia sighs. “I’m not sure how I’d avoid hitting him more if I had to see him nearly every day as we traveled to the Academy.”
A few nods, but we drift in silence as we Kque continues to flip through the journal. Jevita is nearly fidgeting in anticipation and worry, but it’s Tasii who speaks up.
“So, Kque. What do you think?” She murmurs softly.
Kque doesn’t respond at first, ends up just… staring down at a page near the end before closing her eyes.
“This is… is such a bad idea.” She finally whispers.
I nod, reach out and touch her hand. “I’m sorry. I just… If… If it’s too much we can–”
She slams the journal shut, nails dig into the cover. I let that silence me, but keep my hands on hers. Give her room and moments to think. Jevita is the only one to add a hand to our little pile. But, even she doesn’t speak.
Eventually Kque takes a deep breath, and with tears in her eyes turns to regard Jevita. “This is… I’m not trained in this. I can’t… I won’t be able to even begin to help. But… Even I can tell this is really bad.”
Jevita winces, but nods. “I… I know.”
“You didn’t mention that it was… was this fucking horrible!” Kque hisses. “When you told us what you found.”
“Ina seemed okay, and I thought…” She trails off, then. “And I can’t think of any better options. The other methods I found and tossed out… they were way fucking worse and required even more illegal crystals.”
Kque lets out a huff, doesn’t even try to wipe away the angry tears as she glances back at me. “Can… Is there no way to reason with Her?”
I pause, look down.
“I… I could try. But… It's been six months since She and I really fought. And my Amwella is so much fuller now. Because of it She’s… She’s so much more real now.” I sag. “If She pins me or tricks me and decides to force me into a merger, or lay more commands as punishment… I… I don’t know how it’ll go for you all.”
“Maybe you can burn that Amwella away?” She’s almost pleading now. Both to me and Jevita. “You have more songs from Her now. You’ve mentioned how you could pour more of that out in emergencies?”
I nod… I Hate how… how it’ll mean less healing for my leg. And all the other dangers I wouldn’t be able to handle. If another nightmare appeared… or one of my lovers got hurt or–
“But… we’re also talking about months and months of gathered Amwella. To toss it all out…” Yrelia whispers my thoughts aloud. “I hate this too, and we can adapt if the side effects begin to happen. But to avoid this… That’ll mean her leg may never recover.”
Kque sighs. We’d already talked this all out in part outside Zin’s home. But… something she’s seeing in the notebook really seems to bother her. That or… or she’s just had more time to realize and worry over the other person this threatens.
“Jevy.” She whispers, finally turns to look at our lover, returning the touch that was waiting.
“Yeah... I know.” Jevita shudders, sighs. “This is… exactly what I should be avoiding. And… Fuck if I wish we didn’t have better options. Wish we could ask someone else to handle this.” Her eyes go… well not hard but determined. Careful in her focus. “But… we don’t. So. I’m asking you. Will you keep me safe while I protect our Ina?”
“You’ll need to explain everything to me.” Kque's talking quickly and with such fear in her tone. “No shortcuts. No… no shorthand or glossing over horrid bits. Everything. Make sure I understand every single thing that you're doing.”
Jevita nods. “It’ll take extra time. But… Yeah. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And in that moment, my heart is so full as Kque nods and passes Jevita the notebook, agreeing with actions that my life is worth the risks.
* * *
*
A hand rests atop my good leg, squeezes. Can’t sleep here. The touch says.
I let my eyes flutter fully open from what was a half-lidded stare out the window, glance over at my lover. “Not sleeping.”
“You should let her rest!” Lady Ophrit insists from across the carriage we all ride within. “There'll be nothing to do or see anymore, not until we reach the foot of the mountain. Not with this amount of snowfall obscuring the Academy.”
My lovers and I had arrived at Lady Ophrit and Delphians’ home three days after Jevita’s first use of the Dream stone. We’d not waited weeks to set off for the Academy like they’d wanted, not… not after reading how bad this Dream stone could be.
My cheeks warm at the memory of my head in Kque’s lap. Fingers brushing through my hair as they waited for me to fall into a deep slumber. After that, nothing. We’d all slept a good twelve hours, and I’d been the last to awaken. We spent another night in that little tavern/stable ensuring there were no side effects. And for now, none appeared.
“I’d never forgive myself if I miss the chance because I drifted off,” I placate the older woman with a smile, “Just in case the sky clears.”
It didn’t take much convincing to get them to leave early with us, if anything they’d both seemed… well not eager but a bit excited. Which was fucking nice. I really didn’t want to have to try and convince them, or… well… inform them of any more secrets. They’d not asked us about the stone I’d gotten from Zin, nor had I needed to reveal to them my past in Lyttoral. If Zin’s scheme worked, I’d never have to. If everything went according to plan, we could be back on this road within a week or two.
Leaving with a permanent solution and ahead of a new wave of freedoms to… a group. One that I have to hate right now. But… even those pains seem a bit lessened after a few nights under the dream stone’s workings.
Not that anyone but me was optimistic. I would be spending most of my time immersed in the library with Delphian. Searching for old songs to let me… eh… fuck I forgot the name. It was an old term for the obelisks I needed to carve and change, one of at least four pages of keywords Delphian insisted I memorize to help narrow my time spent on each book inscribed with Amwellian magics.
Once I found it we would announce my claim, perform the political nonsense, and I'd weave the melody. Apparently Sun Spoken were… like… the High duenna of the old Arudia. Trusted to not just protect, but change traditions and rules to keep everyone safe. But since even back then we were rare as fuck, it wasn’t something that was done often once the Obelisks where first inscribed.
The second thing though… The harder goal, was to find a permanent method to seal my dreams away. The others would handle that. Reach out carefully and quietly to old contacts. Offer a trade of coins or secrets from Jevita’s weird mental library for information, or if we’re lucky, actual Cultivation stones that can mimic this effect without the horrid damage. It would be… possibly, less illegal than the current solution. More mundane and just… well we’d hoped it would be considered a remedy for very normal night terrors or such. Just had to make sure its strength matched our current method.
But… if we found nothing. Ugh… I really don’t want to consider the place we’d have to go to find the potions I suspect exist that could mimic the effect. I wouldn’t bring it up unless we found ourselves leaving empty handed.
I touch the stone that now hangs around my neck. We’d all agreed that I should keep it close. Thank fuck Cultivation stones weren’t easily identified without serious tools, markings, or prior knowledge of one of the many hundred thousand variations that sprout and flow from the lake we now move across. But… just in case someone somehow could tell the simple jewel was the highly despised thing it was, I am Sun Spoken.
Apparently there were protections and exceptions that allowed us to carry and act as wardens of dangerous gemstones.
We feel the carriage slow then, and at first I simply gaze out one of the side windows and assume we’re at a turn, we eventually stop. Before anyone can think to ask, the little window between the driver and the inside opens.
“We might need to wait here a bit.” She apologizes.
ALSO ALSO Come on over to join our discord for SST and/or LoTDD talks!
To read ahead by about 6k words (3 chapters) of BOTH my series consider supporting this silly writer on Patreon!
And to check out a DARK lesbian/trans fantasy story feel free to read Lamentations of The Dead Dreamer!
BUT BE WARNED, it is dark and very much the opposite of Sun Spoken Turn in many ways. BIG sad/trauma!!!
Read the Content Warnings!
Hello friends and lovers!
HAPPY CHAPPY DAY
Content Warning:
SpoilerNone? Again? Isn't that nice!
[collapse]
This is my plan, at least the first part. The Weaver wanted to examine and then destroy the crystal. But I’m going to use it more. We can lock Her out of my dreams with it.
Keep me safe from Her commands and influence.
But… it’s not a permanent solution. Jevita made that very clear, while I am more resistant to its side effects, I am very likely not immune. Our best hope for finding a safe solution is at the Academy.
I don’t care about the other’s reactions to my demand, not now that Tasii read them for me, just this monster. His face goes still, pale even. Eyes widen as he realizes I know what he did to me.
“I don’t know what–” He begins to deny on reflex.
My narrowed eyes cut his words short. Make him reconsider the lie and denials.
I lower my voice. “I’m not leaving here without it.”
He chokes a bit, “Are… Are you threatening me?”
“No. But will you really deny me this? After what you did?” I cut him off, anger a boil that I cannot tell if it’s mine or…. “I’ll also expect any notes or instructions you’ve gathered on it. Now. Tonight.”
“What’s she talking about, old friend?” The second monster asks, touches Zin’s arm.
My eyes dart to Judic, and I grip Tasii’s hand. But… her face has paled a bit as well, eyes locked on Zin. I don’t need my lover’s abilities to understand her expression.
She knows about the stone. But... is horrified that he used it?
“Ina… I’m…” Zin murmurs, glancing between his allies in shame and conflict. “I can’t. It’ll… if word gets out…”
“It won’t.” I state bluntly. “As much as I would like to… I’m not threatening you Zin, I need it.”
I’m not a monster like you.
That gets both Judic and him to suddenly jerk to focus on me.
“Need what?” Lady Ophrit huffs to try and hide the worry that is growing on her face. “Zin, we already agreed to invest in this group venture. What is she asking for? It can’t be anything you aren't willing to part with for this chance.”
There is a long pause. His eyes drift down to the table, fists clenched, face deep in thought.
“We don’t need to tell them, Zin.” I huff and whisper. “I don’t know why you’re keeping and using such a horrible thing, but just… let it go. I’m not going to hurt anyone with it. The opposite in fact.”
Judic begins to step forward, trying to get a better view of Zin’s face. Expression one of searching growing horror.
I glance at her, “If you know where he keeps it and notes on how to use it, go get them both please.”
Something in my eyes makes her step back, but… she pauses. Look at Zin. “Should I do as the Lady Sun Spoken asks?”
There is a long pause, and for a horrible moment… I think I’m going to have to push this much much harder. Might… might have to reveal secrets I’d rather keep to myself. Not to this monster, no, but to Judic. She’s already… turning from his influence with this knowledge.
But… He nods slowly. “Yes. Please retrieve the item and the little black journal I keep in my safe.”
I nod, let out a little breath of tension as Judic heads upstairs.
“What the fuck is she talking about!?!” Delphian hisses angrily. Mind filling in gaps of all the terrible things Zin could be guilty of.
He doesn’t answer, just… shakes his head for a second. “You’ll do it then? Go to the Academy and assist us in rewriting the Obelisks?”
“I’ll try.” I promise. “Just… Not with you.”
That hits him harder than any blow Yrelia could land. Face becomes such a… a broken twisted mess. But he nods. “My… I have contacts. I’ll write letters and introductions. As many as you need.” He whispers. “If… if you mean to trust Delphian and Gregoris, then they can guide you through whatever steps are best taken. They’re both graduates like myself. It’ll be a political mess once people find out your Sun Spoken, but… they can help you wade through it.”
I nod. The idea of working with and being close to a monster threatens my mind with pain, but… I can sidestep it for now. Maybe… Maybe I can–
Judic reappears. A small dark brown pouch atop a leather bound journal no bigger than her hand. She hesitates at the end of the table, eyes focus on Zin. He notices her, eyes haunted as he sees what she carries.
He nods.
She approaches, holds it out to me. From the corner of my eye I can see Delphian and Gregoris’ eyes go a bit wide as they guess at what lies within.
“Please… be careful.” Zin whispers. “You shouldn’t–”
“If it's not the right one, I’ll know.” I assure him and accept the items. “And I’ll need to come back. Which I’d like to never do.”
He winces, nods.
I turn my attention back to Lady Delphian and Ophrit, “We’re going to sleep in an inn for now, but you can expect us to arrive at your estate within the next day or so. If your offer is still open.”
Lady Ophrit looks to Delphian, who is still glaring at her monster of a cousin. Then, at a nudge from her partner, looks at me. “Of course.”
* * *
*
Kque is the one I hand the notes and little pouch to as I kneel before them in the stables. Her face is such a… painful thing to see. Jevita seemed to be a swirl of emotions as we eventually agreed to these plans, while Kque’s face seemed like one watching a lover die.
She nods, shudders, and lays the pouch between her legs. Then opens the book. As she scans through it, Yrelia, Tasii and I explain what happened.
“Oh fuck, That’s going to make this so much easier to deal with.” Jevita sighs out, eyes drifting between the pouch, the book, and Kque. “I’m glad to hear we’re leaving Zin behind.”
“Same,” Yrelia sighs. “I’m not sure how I’d avoid hitting him more if I had to see him nearly every day as we traveled to the Academy.”
A few nods, but we drift in silence as we Kque continues to flip through the journal. Jevita is nearly fidgeting in anticipation and worry, but it’s Tasii who speaks up.
“So, Kque. What do you think?” She murmurs softly.
Kque doesn’t respond at first, ends up just… staring down at a page near the end before closing her eyes.
“This is… is such a bad idea.” She finally whispers.
I nod, reach out and touch her hand. “I’m sorry. I just… If… If it’s too much we can–”
She slams the journal shut, nails dig into the cover. I let that silence me, but keep my hands on hers. Give her room and moments to think. Jevita is the only one to add a hand to our little pile. But, even she doesn’t speak.
Eventually Kque takes a deep breath, and with tears in her eyes turns to regard Jevita. “This is… I’m not trained in this. I can’t… I won’t be able to even begin to help. But… Even I can tell this is really bad.”
Jevita winces, but nods. “I… I know.”
“You didn’t mention that it was… was this fucking horrible!” Kque hisses. “When you told us what you found.”
“Ina seemed okay, and I thought…” She trails off, then. “And I can’t think of any better options. The other methods I found and tossed out… they were way fucking worse and required even more illegal crystals.”
Kque lets out a huff, doesn’t even try to wipe away the angry tears as she glances back at me. “Can… Is there no way to reason with Her?”
I pause, look down.
“I… I could try. But… It's been six months since She and I really fought. And my Amwella is so much fuller now. Because of it She’s… She’s so much more real now.” I sag. “If She pins me or tricks me and decides to force me into a merger, or lay more commands as punishment… I… I don’t know how it’ll go for you all.”
“Maybe you can burn that Amwella away?” She’s almost pleading now. Both to me and Jevita. “You have more songs from Her now. You’ve mentioned how you could pour more of that out in emergencies?”
I nod… I Hate how… how it’ll mean less healing for my leg. And all the other dangers I wouldn’t be able to handle. If another nightmare appeared… or one of my lovers got hurt or–
“But… we’re also talking about months and months of gathered Amwella. To toss it all out…” Yrelia whispers my thoughts aloud. “I hate this too, and we can adapt if the side effects begin to happen. But to avoid this… That’ll mean her leg may never recover.”
Kque sighs. We’d already talked this all out in part outside Zin’s home. But… something she’s seeing in the notebook really seems to bother her. That or… or she’s just had more time to realize and worry over the other person this threatens.
“Jevy.” She whispers, finally turns to look at our lover, returning the touch that was waiting.
“Yeah... I know.” Jevita shudders, sighs. “This is… exactly what I should be avoiding. And… Fuck if I wish we didn’t have better options. Wish we could ask someone else to handle this.” Her eyes go… well not hard but determined. Careful in her focus. “But… we don’t. So. I’m asking you. Will you keep me safe while I protect our Ina?”
“You’ll need to explain everything to me.” Kque's talking quickly and with such fear in her tone. “No shortcuts. No… no shorthand or glossing over horrid bits. Everything. Make sure I understand every single thing that you're doing.”
Jevita nods. “It’ll take extra time. But… Yeah. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And in that moment, my heart is so full as Kque nods and passes Jevita the notebook, agreeing with actions that my life is worth the risks.
* * *
*
A hand rests atop my good leg, squeezes. Can’t sleep here. The touch says.
I let my eyes flutter fully open from what was a half-lidded stare out the window, glance over at my lover. “Not sleeping.”
“You should let her rest!” Lady Ophrit insists from across the carriage we all ride within. “There'll be nothing to do or see anymore, not until we reach the foot of the mountain. Not with this amount of snowfall obscuring the Academy.”
My lovers and I had arrived at Lady Ophrit and Delphians’ home three days after Jevita’s first use of the Dream stone. We’d not waited weeks to set off for the Academy like they’d wanted, not… not after reading how bad this Dream stone could be.
My cheeks warm at the memory of my head in Kque’s lap. Fingers brushing through my hair as they waited for me to fall into a deep slumber. After that, nothing. We’d all slept a good twelve hours, and I’d been the last to awaken. We spent another night in that little tavern/stable ensuring there were no side effects. And for now, none appeared.
“I’d never forgive myself if I miss the chance because I drifted off,” I placate the older woman with a smile, “Just in case the sky clears.”
It didn’t take much convincing to get them to leave early with us, if anything they’d both seemed… well not eager but a bit excited. Which was fucking nice. I really didn’t want to have to try and convince them, or… well… inform them of any more secrets. They’d not asked us about the stone I’d gotten from Zin, nor had I needed to reveal to them my past in Lyttoral. If Zin’s scheme worked, I’d never have to. If everything went according to plan, we could be back on this road within a week or two.
Leaving with a permanent solution and ahead of a new wave of freedoms to… a group. One that I have to hate right now. But… even those pains seem a bit lessened after a few nights under the dream stone’s workings.
Not that anyone but me was optimistic. I would be spending most of my time immersed in the library with Delphian. Searching for old songs to let me… eh… fuck I forgot the name. It was an old term for the obelisks I needed to carve and change, one of at least four pages of keywords Delphian insisted I memorize to help narrow my time spent on each book inscribed with Amwellian magics.
Once I found it we would announce my claim, perform the political nonsense, and I'd weave the melody. Apparently Sun Spoken were… like… the High duenna of the old Arudia. Trusted to not just protect, but change traditions and rules to keep everyone safe. But since even back then we were rare as fuck, it wasn’t something that was done often once the Obelisks where first inscribed.
The second thing though… The harder goal, was to find a permanent method to seal my dreams away. The others would handle that. Reach out carefully and quietly to old contacts. Offer a trade of coins or secrets from Jevita’s weird mental library for information, or if we’re lucky, actual Cultivation stones that can mimic this effect without the horrid damage. It would be… possibly, less illegal than the current solution. More mundane and just… well we’d hoped it would be considered a remedy for very normal night terrors or such. Just had to make sure its strength matched our current method.
But… if we found nothing. Ugh… I really don’t want to consider the place we’d have to go to find the potions I suspect exist that could mimic the effect. I wouldn’t bring it up unless we found ourselves leaving empty handed.
I touch the stone that now hangs around my neck. We’d all agreed that I should keep it close. Thank fuck Cultivation stones weren’t easily identified without serious tools, markings, or prior knowledge of one of the many hundred thousand variations that sprout and flow from the lake we now move across. But… just in case someone somehow could tell the simple jewel was the highly despised thing it was, I am Sun Spoken.
Apparently there were protections and exceptions that allowed us to carry and act as wardens of dangerous gemstones.
We feel the carriage slow then, and at first I simply gaze out one of the side windows and assume we’re at a turn, we eventually stop. Before anyone can think to ask, the little window between the driver and the inside opens.
“We might need to wait here a bit.” She apologizes.
ALSO ALSO Come on over to join our discord for SST and/or LoTDD talks!
To read ahead by about 6k words (3 chapters) of BOTH my series consider supporting this silly writer on Patreon!
And to check out a DARK lesbian/trans fantasy story feel free to read Lamentations of The Dead Dreamer!
BUT BE WARNED, it is dark and very much the opposite of Sun Spoken Turn in many ways. BIG sad/trauma!!!
Read the Content Warnings!
