With our debrief derailed, we eventually gathered around the box her associates delivered.
“What’s inside?” I asked curiously.
“Protection!” Vernie declared. “What was Euphridia thinking, sending you two here with no real offenses or defenses?”
“To be fair, she was aiming for the holy city,” Nora remarked. “I’m sure we were supposed to suit up there.”
“Rae-Rae’s old armor isn’t there, though.” Vernie shrugged. “Some scoundrel stole it a few years back after they pulled it from the castle ruins.”
“Scoundrel?” Nora bobbed on her tiptoes. “Maybe one with flaming red hair?”
“So you’ve heard of her, eh?” Vernie shot her a grin before continuing in a more serious tone. “They had it on display to the public, still covered in dried blood like some gruesome sideshow attraction. Couldn’t let that stand so…” Vernie trailed off with a shrug.
I took a step back from the box. “I don’t really want to see something like that…”
“I didn’t leave it that way. It’s all fixed up now, good as new!” Vernie clapped sharply, and her two goons lifted the top off the box. The inside was thickly padded and lined with purple velvet. Vernie drew off the top layer of fabric with a dramatic flourish, revealing a silver half-plate ensemble that had been polished to a mirrored sheen. The cuirass, gauntlets, pauldrons, and tassets were embossed with an ornate gold inlay along their edges.
“Oh, my!” Nora breathed. “It’s beautiful! Rae, you just gotta try it on!”
I picked up the shimmering cuirass with trembling hands. Raelynn wasn’t the type to be overprotective of her possessions. In fact, she hated to see things go to waste, especially if someone had a need for it. “As long as I take good care of it and give it back as soon as I’m done with it… then it’s all good, right?”
“Give it back?” Vernie crossed her arms. “What are you talking about? It’s yours to begin with!”
“Haa…” I sighed. “Well, let’s just see if it fits, okay?”
It was like it was made for me. Even the straps only needed minimal adjustment. Everything fit together so perfectly and it wasn’t nearly as heavy as I thought it might be. I needed some help to get into it, though.
“Well, how do I look?” I asked as I put my hands to rest lightly on the tassets covering my hips.
“Squeal!” Nora cheered in a high-pitched voice. “If you had her monastic scapular, then you’d be all set!”
“Monastic… what?”
“Sometimes mistakenly called a tabard?”
“Umm…” Sounded familiar but…
“Like a surcoat?” Nora continued.
“You mean the apron thingy with all the fancy embroidery?” No need for a giant bullseye, thanks.
“A-apron thingy?! You can’t call it that!” You’re mocking my word choice? You just shouted ‘squeal’ out loud!
“But you knew what I meant, so…”
“Never again!” Nora insisted.
“Alright, alright. But anyway…” Reality was settling into my thoughts again. “Isn’t this armor, even by itself, pretty distinctive? Even if I keep my mask on, it is definitely going to attract attention.” Unwanted attention.
“Only criminals wear masks in Turri. Dumb ones, anyway,” Vernie clarified as a side note. “You’ll have to get rid of it.”
“How about I trade it for a helmet?” I asked hopefully, recalling that the slight bump on the back of my head was still there.
“Rae-Rae, you don’t wear a helmet! Then nobody could tell you’re you!” She was missing the point! Both of them, actually…
“I really think I should protect my head… or at least what’s left of it…” I grumbled. “And I think it would be best to keep hiding my face for now.”
“... Best I can do is this,” Vernie murmured, handing me a polished steel circlet. “Just don’t let anyone hit you in the head anymore and you should be fine.” She might have just said ‘be more careful’, as if I had done something purposefully to cause the injury to happen in the first place!
I grunted and pulled off my mask, balling it up and stuffing it in my rucksack before donning the circlet. “I can still wear my cloak over the armor at least, right? I’ll just keep my hood up and my hair pulled back. …”
Aleph nodded. “That will help you hide, for now.” I didn’t like how he tacked on that ‘for now’ on the end.
“What about Nora?" I asked. "How can she protect her assets?”
Nora tittered. “Now that one, I like. Asset protection.”
“There’s still more in the box,” Vernie asserted as she turned to Nora. “Help yourself.”
Nora rummaged around for a moment before pulling out an intricately banded set of brown leather armor.
“The joints allow for more range of movements,” Vernie explained. “In case you find yourself in tight spaces, like we talked about.”
“Fantasy armor that adds plus 5 to defense and charisma? I’ll take it!” Nora smirked. Why’d she call it fantasy armor? Oh. No chest plate.
“Shouldn’t there be a little more coverage here?” I asked. “I mean…”
“You always were a prude,” Vernie remarked sharply.
“Not a prude! Prudent!” I folded my arms. What’s the point of wearing armor if those are exposed?!
Vernie pulled out a small metal chest plate and snapped it in place. “Better now?”
“There goes my charisma bonus,” Nora sighed whimsically. “Never seen armor you could do that with, though.” Huh? Really? Seemed standard fare to me.
“It’s adjustable for different occasions,” Vernie waved her hand in the air. “However, neither set of armor would survive a direct attack from a powerful demon, so don’t be fooled by a false sense of security!”
Nora and I nodded a bit numbly in response. It was going to take us a while to get used to Vernie.
“I want to see if I can put this on myself,” Nora said as she stepped away for some privacy.
“Get used to carrying around a sword again.” Vernie handed me a longsword sheathed in an engraved scabbard she had dug from the bottom of the box. “It’s no Will of Euphridia, but it’ll do for now.”
I drew the sword from its scabbard. It wasn’t physically heavy, but it felt cold and somehow draining. My bat back home was a blunt weapon that had other purposes. I had even hit a few home runs with it, back in the day. Swords have only one purpose, though, right? “Ah…”
“Don’t worry, we’ll retrieve your real one soon enough,” Vernie claimed, misinterpreting my apprehension. “Now where was that targe…” She practically dove into the box, rifling through the loose padding.
I was going to be over-equipped. How could I possibly manage it all and my rucksack? “It’d be weird… to walk around with a sword, a shield, and a staff, right?. Better to keep the blessed weapon on my person, I think. I mean, demons and all…” Then I could ditch the sword and shield, and forget about the advanced level of hero dress-up we were playing.
Vernie gave me a look that mixed concern and pity in equal doses. “Rae-Rae. You need quick access to all. Different tools for different situations. Turri is not very forgiving right now.”
I glanced at Aleph, and he also nodded, slowly. “... Alright,” I murmured eventually as I absently buckled the sword around my waist. I planned on ignoring it for now, seeing as I wasn’t sure I could use it with any skill or grace. As for the targe, I opted not to buckle it to my forearm, but to slide it through the carrying loop of my rucksack, turning it into little more than dead weight.
Tetora rumbled behind me. “We will review basic sword and shield movements… soon.” Not too soon, I hoped.
Aleph cleared his throat. “Yes, Rae and I will do exactly that.”
A snap of electricity appeared between the glare they shared, but Tetora was the first to break it. “Fine, start with the beginner’s course. When you’re ready, I’ll show you some proper moves!”
Aleph turned his chestnut eyes to me, his face lost in thought. “First lesson in just a few minutes. The sooner we start, the better,” he murmured before he went off to set up an area to practice.
Before I had a chance to really protest, Nora then snapped her fingers from behind us, and I whirled around to see her strutting for all the world like a runway model. She even had the haughty expression of someone who refused to look you in the eye because you just weren’t worth her time. I clapped dutifully just as she stopped in front of us, put her hand to her hip, and struck a pose. Her green cloak fluttered around the armor, and I was just a little suspicious she had used Ventos again under her breath.
“Very classy,” I noted.
“Multi-classy,” she agreed. “Soon I’ll be the queen of all trades! Then I–oh! Sword! Show it to me!”
I drew the sword and handed it to her, handle first.
“Hmmm…” Nora considered the blade after brandishing it. “Not for me.” She gave it back, and I re-sheathed it. “Ranged attacks are more my style, I think. Let me change what I said. I’ll be the queen of all suitable trades.”
“Ahh... I guess I better learn something about this then,” I sighed wistfully as Aleph waved me over.
Aleph's first lesson was intentionally short, probably because I started off with saying, “I don't want to kill anyone. I know swords aren't toys, but slashing down people isn't really—”
“The first lesson will be how to avoid using it that way, then. We'll go over how you can use the flat of the blade to strike someone without causing too much damage.”
"Wait. Isn't it live by the sword, die by the sword?"
"Why limit yourself to those two choices?" he asked curiously.
"No, no, the code of the blade and do or die or..." I paused, thinking about every self-insert swordmaster epic I had ever read. Your sword is your destiny? Kill or be killed? Isn’t that the inevitable end of all those who wield one? However…
"Raelynn... used her sword as more of a symbol, didn't she?" I asked.
"Wherever she could get away with it," Aleph smiled. "This conversation is very nostalgic, in fact."
"Huh?"
“By the time I met her, she already knew how to kill. She worried about that more than anything. It was careful weapon handling she had to learn. Sometimes the most important lesson is to know that we can use a tool in more than one way. Hmm…” he paused, folding his arms. “We’ll skip the shield for now. Instead, why don’t you show me how you would hold your sword?”
I huffed, but drew the blade once more, gripping it as tightly as I could with both hands.
“No,” Aleph said simply but firmly as he took the sword from me. “Let’s try a handshake grip. Offer me your hand in friendship.” That sounded easy enough. I held out my right hand expectantly, and he placed the sword hilt in the curve of my palm. “Now grip the sword with your other hand as well. No. Too tight. Relax your right hand grip and move your hand down away from the hilt just a little. That’s right, you can even put your right thumb on the back of the hilt for extra control.”
I looked up and down the shaft of the sword, trying to note my hand placement. “Now what?”
He picked up a stout stick and broke off several leafy side branches. “Parry me. When you can tap my shoulder with the flat of your blade, the lesson's over for the day.”
“What if I hurt you?!”
Aleph laughed for a moment, then frowned. “You’re… actually serious, aren’t you?” If he dared to laugh harder…! “You won’t. I know you, and I know that you’re scared right now. Just try to remember to relax your grip and have fun while you learn to work the sword like a lever.”
Have fun?! This is your idea of fun?!
I did try to tap his shoulder; I swear. But eventually my arms were just too exhausted to keep going. I slapped his stick with the flat of my blade several times but his shoulder… Well, that was a very lofty goal, figuratively and literally.
"Let's call it here," Aleph smiled again. "And look. We're both still very much alive. Next time, we’ll talk about a pommel strike."
“Pommel strike?”
“Yes. In fact. I suggest using it when you're in... the ox stance!” I stared suspiciously at his face for a few moments, trying to discern if he was just teasing me. Again, he had such a serene poker face!
“Is that even a real thing?”
“I wouldn’t mention it if it wasn’t,” he shrugged. “But enough lessons for now. Let’s get moving.”
Euphridia
Omake
Nora: And then she called it an apron thingy!
Olethros: Did you not explain to her it is a monastic scapular?
Nora: Repeatedly and at length! It’s like she was trying to come up with the most ridiculous names for it!
Rae: Armor poncho?
Nora and Olethros: You’re not supposed to be here!
Rae: …I’ve been getting that a lot lately.
Omake 2
Rae: I hate it when someone tells me to just don't let it happen next time or be more careful, like Vernie did after I hit my head on that tree.
Nora: Advice like that assumes that lack of knowledge was the only contributor to the event.
Rae: Yeah! I already knew that bashing my head hurts! Probably better than almost anyone else!
Nora: :facepalm:
Rae: And now you do, too!
With our debrief derailed, we eventually gathered around the box her associates delivered.
“What’s inside?” I asked curiously.
“Protection!” Vernie declared. “What was Euphridia thinking, sending you two here with no real offenses or defenses?”
“To be fair, she was aiming for the holy city,” Nora remarked. “I’m sure we were supposed to suit up there.”
“Rae-Rae’s old armor isn’t there, though.” Vernie shrugged. “Some scoundrel stole it a few years back after they pulled it from the castle ruins.”
“Scoundrel?” Nora bobbed on her tiptoes. “Maybe one with flaming red hair?”
“So you’ve heard of her, eh?” Vernie shot her a grin before continuing in a more serious tone. “They had it on display to the public, still covered in dried blood like some gruesome sideshow attraction. Couldn’t let that stand so…” Vernie trailed off with a shrug.
I took a step back from the box. “I don’t really want to see something like that…”
“I didn’t leave it that way. It’s all fixed up now, good as new!” Vernie clapped sharply, and her two goons lifted the top off the box. The inside was thickly padded and lined with purple velvet. Vernie drew off the top layer of fabric with a dramatic flourish, revealing a silver half-plate ensemble that had been polished to a mirrored sheen. The cuirass, gauntlets, pauldrons, and tassets were embossed with an ornate gold inlay along their edges.
“Oh, my!” Nora breathed. “It’s beautiful! Rae, you just gotta try it on!”
I picked up the shimmering cuirass with trembling hands. Raelynn wasn’t the type to be overprotective of her possessions. In fact, she hated to see things go to waste, especially if someone had a need for it. “As long as I take good care of it and give it back as soon as I’m done with it… then it’s all good, right?”
“Give it back?” Vernie crossed her arms. “What are you talking about? It’s yours to begin with!”
“Haa…” I sighed. “Well, let’s just see if it fits, okay?”
It was like it was made for me. Even the straps only needed minimal adjustment. Everything fit together so perfectly and it wasn’t nearly as heavy as I thought it might be. I needed some help to get into it, though.
“Well, how do I look?” I asked as I put my hands to rest lightly on the tassets covering my hips.
“Squeal!” Nora cheered in a high-pitched voice. “If you had her monastic scapular, then you’d be all set!”
“Monastic… what?”
“Sometimes mistakenly called a tabard?”
“Umm…” Sounded familiar but…
“Like a surcoat?” Nora continued.
“You mean the apron thingy with all the fancy embroidery?” No need for a giant bullseye, thanks.
“A-apron thingy?! You can’t call it that!” You’re mocking my word choice? You just shouted ‘squeal’ out loud!
“But you knew what I meant, so…”
“Never again!” Nora insisted.
“Alright, alright. But anyway…” Reality was settling into my thoughts again. “Isn’t this armor, even by itself, pretty distinctive? Even if I keep my mask on, it is definitely going to attract attention.” Unwanted attention.
“Only criminals wear masks in Turri. Dumb ones, anyway,” Vernie clarified as a side note. “You’ll have to get rid of it.”
“How about I trade it for a helmet?” I asked hopefully, recalling that the slight bump on the back of my head was still there.
“Rae-Rae, you don’t wear a helmet! Then nobody could tell you’re you!” She was missing the point! Both of them, actually…
“I really think I should protect my head… or at least what’s left of it…” I grumbled. “And I think it would be best to keep hiding my face for now.”
“... Best I can do is this,” Vernie murmured, handing me a polished steel circlet. “Just don’t let anyone hit you in the head anymore and you should be fine.” She might have just said ‘be more careful’, as if I had done something purposefully to cause the injury to happen in the first place!
I grunted and pulled off my mask, balling it up and stuffing it in my rucksack before donning the circlet. “I can still wear my cloak over the armor at least, right? I’ll just keep my hood up and my hair pulled back. …”
Aleph nodded. “That will help you hide, for now.” I didn’t like how he tacked on that ‘for now’ on the end.
“What about Nora?" I asked. "How can she protect her assets?”
Nora tittered. “Now that one, I like. Asset protection.”
“There’s still more in the box,” Vernie asserted as she turned to Nora. “Help yourself.”
Nora rummaged around for a moment before pulling out an intricately banded set of brown leather armor.
“The joints allow for more range of movements,” Vernie explained. “In case you find yourself in tight spaces, like we talked about.”
“Fantasy armor that adds plus 5 to defense and charisma? I’ll take it!” Nora smirked. Why’d she call it fantasy armor? Oh. No chest plate.
“Shouldn’t there be a little more coverage here?” I asked. “I mean…”
“You always were a prude,” Vernie remarked sharply.
“Not a prude! Prudent!” I folded my arms. What’s the point of wearing armor if those are exposed?!
Vernie pulled out a small metal chest plate and snapped it in place. “Better now?”
“There goes my charisma bonus,” Nora sighed whimsically. “Never seen armor you could do that with, though.” Huh? Really? Seemed standard fare to me.
“It’s adjustable for different occasions,” Vernie waved her hand in the air. “However, neither set of armor would survive a direct attack from a powerful demon, so don’t be fooled by a false sense of security!”
Nora and I nodded a bit numbly in response. It was going to take us a while to get used to Vernie.
“I want to see if I can put this on myself,” Nora said as she stepped away for some privacy.
“Get used to carrying around a sword again.” Vernie handed me a longsword sheathed in an engraved scabbard she had dug from the bottom of the box. “It’s no Will of Euphridia, but it’ll do for now.”
I drew the sword from its scabbard. It wasn’t physically heavy, but it felt cold and somehow draining. My bat back home was a blunt weapon that had other purposes. I had even hit a few home runs with it, back in the day. Swords have only one purpose, though, right? “Ah…”
“Don’t worry, we’ll retrieve your real one soon enough,” Vernie claimed, misinterpreting my apprehension. “Now where was that targe…” She practically dove into the box, rifling through the loose padding.
I was going to be over-equipped. How could I possibly manage it all and my rucksack? “It’d be weird… to walk around with a sword, a shield, and a staff, right?. Better to keep the blessed weapon on my person, I think. I mean, demons and all…” Then I could ditch the sword and shield, and forget about the advanced level of hero dress-up we were playing.
Vernie gave me a look that mixed concern and pity in equal doses. “Rae-Rae. You need quick access to all. Different tools for different situations. Turri is not very forgiving right now.”
I glanced at Aleph, and he also nodded, slowly. “... Alright,” I murmured eventually as I absently buckled the sword around my waist. I planned on ignoring it for now, seeing as I wasn’t sure I could use it with any skill or grace. As for the targe, I opted not to buckle it to my forearm, but to slide it through the carrying loop of my rucksack, turning it into little more than dead weight.
Tetora rumbled behind me. “We will review basic sword and shield movements… soon.” Not too soon, I hoped.
Aleph cleared his throat. “Yes, Rae and I will do exactly that.”
A snap of electricity appeared between the glare they shared, but Tetora was the first to break it. “Fine, start with the beginner’s course. When you’re ready, I’ll show you some proper moves!”
Aleph turned his chestnut eyes to me, his face lost in thought. “First lesson in just a few minutes. The sooner we start, the better,” he murmured before he went off to set up an area to practice.
Before I had a chance to really protest, Nora then snapped her fingers from behind us, and I whirled around to see her strutting for all the world like a runway model. She even had the haughty expression of someone who refused to look you in the eye because you just weren’t worth her time. I clapped dutifully just as she stopped in front of us, put her hand to her hip, and struck a pose. Her green cloak fluttered around the armor, and I was just a little suspicious she had used Ventos again under her breath.
“Very classy,” I noted.
“Multi-classy,” she agreed. “Soon I’ll be the queen of all trades! Then I–oh! Sword! Show it to me!”
I drew the sword and handed it to her, handle first.
“Hmmm…” Nora considered the blade after brandishing it. “Not for me.” She gave it back, and I re-sheathed it. “Ranged attacks are more my style, I think. Let me change what I said. I’ll be the queen of all suitable trades.”
“Ahh... I guess I better learn something about this then,” I sighed wistfully as Aleph waved me over.
Aleph's first lesson was intentionally short, probably because I started off with saying, “I don't want to kill anyone. I know swords aren't toys, but slashing down people isn't really—”
“The first lesson will be how to avoid using it that way, then. We'll go over how you can use the flat of the blade to strike someone without causing too much damage.”
"Wait. Isn't it live by the sword, die by the sword?"
"Why limit yourself to those two choices?" he asked curiously.
"No, no, the code of the blade and do or die or..." I paused, thinking about every self-insert swordmaster epic I had ever read. Your sword is your destiny? Kill or be killed? Isn’t that the inevitable end of all those who wield one? However…
"Raelynn... used her sword as more of a symbol, didn't she?" I asked.
"Wherever she could get away with it," Aleph smiled. "This conversation is very nostalgic, in fact."
"Huh?"
“By the time I met her, she already knew how to kill. She worried about that more than anything. It was careful weapon handling she had to learn. Sometimes the most important lesson is to know that we can use a tool in more than one way. Hmm…” he paused, folding his arms. “We’ll skip the shield for now. Instead, why don’t you show me how you would hold your sword?”
I huffed, but drew the blade once more, gripping it as tightly as I could with both hands.
“No,” Aleph said simply but firmly as he took the sword from me. “Let’s try a handshake grip. Offer me your hand in friendship.” That sounded easy enough. I held out my right hand expectantly, and he placed the sword hilt in the curve of my palm. “Now grip the sword with your other hand as well. No. Too tight. Relax your right hand grip and move your hand down away from the hilt just a little. That’s right, you can even put your right thumb on the back of the hilt for extra control.”
I looked up and down the shaft of the sword, trying to note my hand placement. “Now what?”
He picked up a stout stick and broke off several leafy side branches. “Parry me. When you can tap my shoulder with the flat of your blade, the lesson's over for the day.”
“What if I hurt you?!”
Aleph laughed for a moment, then frowned. “You’re… actually serious, aren’t you?” If he dared to laugh harder…! “You won’t. I know you, and I know that you’re scared right now. Just try to remember to relax your grip and have fun while you learn to work the sword like a lever.”
Have fun?! This is your idea of fun?!
I did try to tap his shoulder; I swear. But eventually my arms were just too exhausted to keep going. I slapped his stick with the flat of my blade several times but his shoulder… Well, that was a very lofty goal, figuratively and literally.
"Let's call it here," Aleph smiled again. "And look. We're both still very much alive. Next time, we’ll talk about a pommel strike."
“Pommel strike?”
“Yes. In fact. I suggest using it when you're in... the ox stance!” I stared suspiciously at his face for a few moments, trying to discern if he was just teasing me. Again, he had such a serene poker face!
“Is that even a real thing?”
“I wouldn’t mention it if it wasn’t,” he shrugged. “But enough lessons for now. Let’s get moving.”
Euphridia
Omake
Nora: And then she called it an apron thingy!
Olethros: Did you not explain to her it is a monastic scapular?
Nora: Repeatedly and at length! It’s like she was trying to come up with the most ridiculous names for it!
Rae: Armor poncho?
Nora and Olethros: You’re not supposed to be here!
Rae: …I’ve been getting that a lot lately.
Omake 2
Rae: I hate it when someone tells me to just don't let it happen next time or be more careful, like Vernie did after I hit my head on that tree.
Nora: Advice like that assumes that lack of knowledge was the only contributor to the event.
Rae: Yeah! I already knew that bashing my head hurts! Probably better than almost anyone else!
Nora: :facepalm:
Rae: And now you do, too!
