Chapter 145: 145 – The Secret Notebook
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The babies were sent off for a nap after Wolf and Pax left, and Ren and Fang, too, retired to their bedroom.
"So – what's this exercise that Dr. Gordon asked you to work on? Why don't you do it now? I don't want you working late into the night if we are going to SIMS tomorrow," Ren said to Fang.
Fang chuckled, his heart feeling warm with this nagging side of Ren.
"Don't worry," Fang replied with a smile. "It won't take more than a few minutes. Dr. Gordon just asked me to make list of all the achievements I have made in the last one year."
Ren gave Fang a strange look, as if he had grown two heads all of a sudden.
Fang gave him a quizzical look in response. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm not sure if I heard you correctly," Ren said slowly. "Did you just that Dr. Gordon told you to make a list of all of achievements in the last one year?"
Fang nodded. "Yes, that's correct," he said. "Why would you think that you heard wrongly?"
"You said it will take you a few minutes to write down your achievements in the last one year, did you?" Ren asked with a frown marring his handsome face.
Fang nodded. "Yes, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes to jot things down," he said.
"Did Dr. Gordon put a limit to how many achievements you need to list down? Like the top five or top ten?" Ren asked. "I thought you said 'all the achievements' – did I hear that bit wrong, then?"
Fang shook his head. "No, you heard that right as well. Dr. Gordon did say 'all the achievements' in the last year," he said to Ren. "He said that no matter how small that achievement was, if it was positive, I should write it down nonetheless."
Ren's frown deepened. "Did he set any parameters for these achievements? Like – academic or work related or monetary or emotional or physical or anything else?" he asked.
Fang shook his head again. "No, he said that I should list out everything of every category, and of every magnitude and type," he replied.
"And this is to be done from your perspective, is it? As in, you have to list only what you count as an achievement for yourself?" Ren asked.
Fang shook his head yet again. "No, Dr. Gordon said that I should look at it from a neutral point of view, and try not to let it become biased from my own perspective," he told Ren. "Why do you ask?"
Ren sighed and rubbed his temples as if warding off a headache. "Fang, my dear little darling, how many achievements do you think you have gotten in the last one year?" he asked in a flat voice.
Fang's heart fell, and so did his face. "I know I haven't done much," he murmured. "But there are a few that I can list out, aren't there? Even the small ones will count – that's what Dr. Gordon said."
Ren sighed heavily. "So – you think you have made only a few achievements in the last year?" he asked slowly.
Fang nodded.
"And you think that this is the neutral perspective?" Ren demanded, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
Fang fell silent, not knowing what to say. He thought that there definitely were a few achievements that he had made in the last year – but if Ren thought that none of them were worth it, then…
"Sorry," Fang said miserably. "I thought I was doing all right. I – I will try to do better in the future. I will not disappoint you again, Ren…"
Ren stood up and walked out of the room without a word.
Fang stared after him, not knowing what he did wrong or why Ren was so annoyed. He was still staring blankly at the door when Ren came back a few minutes later with a thick notebook in his hand.
Fang recognised that notebook. He often saw Ren scribbling in it – and he had peered at it a few times, only to find that it was written in some sort of a code. And Ren always snapped the notebook shut and put it away as soon as he found that Fang was trying to steal a glance at its contents. So, Fang had (with great reluctance) let Ren keep this secret notebook of his. After all, it wasn't like Ren was keeping a secret mistress or something, so what was the harm?
Ren thrust the notebook in Fang's hands, and then pulled out another sheet of paper and wrote down something in it before stuffing it in Fang's hands as well.
"That's the key to the cryptogram I use to write in this notebook," Ren said. "You are clever enough to decipher it immediately as soon as you see the key and read what I have written down, and I'm asking you to do so right now."
Fang gave Ren a blank look. "You want me to read your secret notebook?" he asked slowly.
"Yes," Ren said, flicking Fang's forehead. "Take a look at the key and start reading what I have written down."
Fang obeyed silently. He glanced at the key, and then opened the notebook.
The deciphered text on the first page read – 'Fang's Daily Progress Monitoring Journal' – and it was a log book of sorts, which listed out everything Fang achieved on a daily basis, and also the things which went wrong, and things Ren could improve or seek help for so that Fang could do better or he could support Fang better.
Fang flipped a few pages and then looked up at Ren with his mouth hanging open. "Ren, you…" he started speaking, but then his voice trailed off, because he was too overwhelmed to say anything to Ren.
Ren sighed and ruffled Fang's hair affectionately.
"Do you have any idea exactly how many achievements, in total, you have made in the last one year from a neutral perspective?" Ren demanded.
Fang shook his head.
"Six hundred and twenty three," Ren said. "And I know this so precisely because I have written all of them down in this notebook."
Fang was stunned into silence.
"Now do you understand why I was confused and thought I had heard you wrong? How can you possibly list down six hundred and twenty three achievements in a few minutes?!" Ren demanded, pinching Fang's fair cheeks playfully.
"And, on top of that," Ren continued, annoyance colouring his voice. "On top of that, you even started saying that you haven't achieved much and that you will try not to disappoint me?! Have I ever told you that you have disappointed me? Have I not made it adequately clear even by now that I am immensely proud of you? Tell me, my dear little darling – how do I make you believe how wonderful and amazing you are? Do you want me to stand on the rooftop of Sirocco and shout it out for all of Cosmopolis to hear? Because I will be all too happy to do that, if that's the case!"
Fang chuckled helplessly and then pulled Ren into a tight hug. "Thank you," he murmured. "Thank you, Ren. There is no need for you to shout it from the rooftops. We will do that together when we get married in a few years."
Ren huffed. "Now you sit down properly and start making the list just like Dr. Gordon has asked you to," he said. "And don't you dare copy things from my notebook! Because that's my list, not yours! And once you are done writing, we will sit and compare notes and see what matches and what doesn't, and then you will add to the list all the good things that you would have missed out on," he informed Fang.
Fang laughed. "How do you know that I will miss things out?" he asked.
Ren narrowed his eyes at his young fiancé. "Who was the one telling me just now that they only have a few achievements in the last year and that they were going to do much better in the future?" Ren pointed out in a flat voice.
Fang flushed. "I'll try and list down things properly," he murmured. "But do you really think that I have achieved that much in the last year?"
Ren huffed. "Are you being dense on purpose just now or are you fishing for compliments? Or is it that you want to take the easy way out and simply copy from my list instead of using your own considerable brains on the homework that Dr. Gordon has assigned to you?" he demanded, flicking Fang's forehead again.
Fang pouted. He was actually hoping to take a look at Ren's notebook – he was definitely very, very interested in what Ren had written about him! Who wouldn't be, if they were in the same position as Fang right now?
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The babies were sent off for a nap after Wolf and Pax left, and Ren and Fang, too, retired to their bedroom.
"So – what's this exercise that Dr. Gordon asked you to work on? Why don't you do it now? I don't want you working late into the night if we are going to SIMS tomorrow," Ren said to Fang.
Fang chuckled, his heart feeling warm with this nagging side of Ren.
"Don't worry," Fang replied with a smile. "It won't take more than a few minutes. Dr. Gordon just asked me to make list of all the achievements I have made in the last one year."
Ren gave Fang a strange look, as if he had grown two heads all of a sudden.
Fang gave him a quizzical look in response. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm not sure if I heard you correctly," Ren said slowly. "Did you just that Dr. Gordon told you to make a list of all of achievements in the last one year?"
Fang nodded. "Yes, that's correct," he said. "Why would you think that you heard wrongly?"
"You said it will take you a few minutes to write down your achievements in the last one year, did you?" Ren asked with a frown marring his handsome face.
Fang nodded. "Yes, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes to jot things down," he said.
"Did Dr. Gordon put a limit to how many achievements you need to list down? Like the top five or top ten?" Ren asked. "I thought you said 'all the achievements' – did I hear that bit wrong, then?"
Fang shook his head. "No, you heard that right as well. Dr. Gordon did say 'all the achievements' in the last year," he said to Ren. "He said that no matter how small that achievement was, if it was positive, I should write it down nonetheless."
Ren's frown deepened. "Did he set any parameters for these achievements? Like – academic or work related or monetary or emotional or physical or anything else?" he asked.
Fang shook his head again. "No, he said that I should list out everything of every category, and of every magnitude and type," he replied.
"And this is to be done from your perspective, is it? As in, you have to list only what you count as an achievement for yourself?" Ren asked.
Fang shook his head yet again. "No, Dr. Gordon said that I should look at it from a neutral point of view, and try not to let it become biased from my own perspective," he told Ren. "Why do you ask?"
Ren sighed and rubbed his temples as if warding off a headache. "Fang, my dear little darling, how many achievements do you think you have gotten in the last one year?" he asked in a flat voice.
Fang's heart fell, and so did his face. "I know I haven't done much," he murmured. "But there are a few that I can list out, aren't there? Even the small ones will count – that's what Dr. Gordon said."
Ren sighed heavily. "So – you think you have made only a few achievements in the last year?" he asked slowly.
Fang nodded.
"And you think that this is the neutral perspective?" Ren demanded, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
Fang fell silent, not knowing what to say. He thought that there definitely were a few achievements that he had made in the last year – but if Ren thought that none of them were worth it, then…
"Sorry," Fang said miserably. "I thought I was doing all right. I – I will try to do better in the future. I will not disappoint you again, Ren…"
Ren stood up and walked out of the room without a word.
Fang stared after him, not knowing what he did wrong or why Ren was so annoyed. He was still staring blankly at the door when Ren came back a few minutes later with a thick notebook in his hand.
Fang recognised that notebook. He often saw Ren scribbling in it – and he had peered at it a few times, only to find that it was written in some sort of a code. And Ren always snapped the notebook shut and put it away as soon as he found that Fang was trying to steal a glance at its contents. So, Fang had (with great reluctance) let Ren keep this secret notebook of his. After all, it wasn't like Ren was keeping a secret mistress or something, so what was the harm?
Ren thrust the notebook in Fang's hands, and then pulled out another sheet of paper and wrote down something in it before stuffing it in Fang's hands as well.
"That's the key to the cryptogram I use to write in this notebook," Ren said. "You are clever enough to decipher it immediately as soon as you see the key and read what I have written down, and I'm asking you to do so right now."
Fang gave Ren a blank look. "You want me to read your secret notebook?" he asked slowly.
"Yes," Ren said, flicking Fang's forehead. "Take a look at the key and start reading what I have written down."
Fang obeyed silently. He glanced at the key, and then opened the notebook.
The deciphered text on the first page read – 'Fang's Daily Progress Monitoring Journal' – and it was a log book of sorts, which listed out everything Fang achieved on a daily basis, and also the things which went wrong, and things Ren could improve or seek help for so that Fang could do better or he could support Fang better.
Fang flipped a few pages and then looked up at Ren with his mouth hanging open. "Ren, you…" he started speaking, but then his voice trailed off, because he was too overwhelmed to say anything to Ren.
Ren sighed and ruffled Fang's hair affectionately.
"Do you have any idea exactly how many achievements, in total, you have made in the last one year from a neutral perspective?" Ren demanded.
Fang shook his head.
"Six hundred and twenty three," Ren said. "And I know this so precisely because I have written all of them down in this notebook."
Fang was stunned into silence.
"Now do you understand why I was confused and thought I had heard you wrong? How can you possibly list down six hundred and twenty three achievements in a few minutes?!" Ren demanded, pinching Fang's fair cheeks playfully.
"And, on top of that," Ren continued, annoyance colouring his voice. "On top of that, you even started saying that you haven't achieved much and that you will try not to disappoint me?! Have I ever told you that you have disappointed me? Have I not made it adequately clear even by now that I am immensely proud of you? Tell me, my dear little darling – how do I make you believe how wonderful and amazing you are? Do you want me to stand on the rooftop of Sirocco and shout it out for all of Cosmopolis to hear? Because I will be all too happy to do that, if that's the case!"
Fang chuckled helplessly and then pulled Ren into a tight hug. "Thank you," he murmured. "Thank you, Ren. There is no need for you to shout it from the rooftops. We will do that together when we get married in a few years."
Ren huffed. "Now you sit down properly and start making the list just like Dr. Gordon has asked you to," he said. "And don't you dare copy things from my notebook! Because that's my list, not yours! And once you are done writing, we will sit and compare notes and see what matches and what doesn't, and then you will add to the list all the good things that you would have missed out on," he informed Fang.
Fang laughed. "How do you know that I will miss things out?" he asked.
Ren narrowed his eyes at his young fiancé. "Who was the one telling me just now that they only have a few achievements in the last year and that they were going to do much better in the future?" Ren pointed out in a flat voice.
Fang flushed. "I'll try and list down things properly," he murmured. "But do you really think that I have achieved that much in the last year?"
Ren huffed. "Are you being dense on purpose just now or are you fishing for compliments? Or is it that you want to take the easy way out and simply copy from my list instead of using your own considerable brains on the homework that Dr. Gordon has assigned to you?" he demanded, flicking Fang's forehead again.
Fang pouted. He was actually hoping to take a look at Ren's notebook – he was definitely very, very interested in what Ren had written about him! Who wouldn't be, if they were in the same position as Fang right now?
The babies were sent off for a nap after Wolf and Pax left, and Ren and Fang, too, retired to their bedroom."So what's this exercise that Dr. Gordon asked you to work on? Why don't you do it now? I don't want you working late into the night if we are going to SIMS tomorrow," Ren said to Fang.Fang chuckled, his heart feeling warm with this nagging side of Ren."Don't worry," Fang replied with a smile. "It won't take more than a few minutes. Dr. Gordon just asked me to make list of all the achievements I have made in the last one year."Ren gave Fang a strange look, as if he had grown two heads all of a sudden.Fang gave him a quizzical look in response. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?""I'm not sure if I heard you correctly," Ren said slowly. "Did you just that Dr. Gordon told you to make a list of all of achievements in the last one year?"Fang nodded. "Yes, that's correct," he said. "Why would you think that you heard wrongly?""You said it will take you a few minutes to write down your achievements in the last one year, did you?" Ren asked with a frown marring his handsome face.Fang nodded. "Yes, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes to jot things down," he said."Did Dr. Gordon put a limit to how many achievements you need to list down? Like the top five or top ten?" Ren asked. "I thought you said 'all the achievements' did I hear that bit wrong, then?"Fang shook his head. "No, you heard that right as well. Dr. Gordon did say 'all the achievements' in the last year," he said to Ren. "He said that no matter how small that achievement was, if it was positive, I should write it down nonetheless."Ren's frown deepened. "Did he set any parameters for these achievements? Like academic or work related or monetary or emotional or physical or anything else?" he asked.Fang shook his head again. "No, he said that I should list out everything of every category, and of every magnitude and type," he replied."And this is to be done from your perspective, is it? As in, you have to list only what you count as an achievement for yourself?" Ren asked.Fang shook his head yet again. "No, Dr. Gordon said that I should look at it from a neutral point of view, and try not to let it become biased from my own perspective," he told Ren. "Why do you ask?"Ren sighed and rubbed his temples as if warding off a headache. "Fang, my dear little darling, how many achievements do you think you have gotten in the last one year?" he asked in a flat voice.Fang's heart fell, and so did his face. "I know I haven't done much," he murmured. "But there are a few that I can list out, aren't there? Even the small ones will count that's what Dr. Gordon said."Ren sighed heavily. "So you think you have made only a few achievements in the last year?" he asked slowly.Fang nodded."And you think that this is the neutral perspective?" Ren demanded, a hint of annoyance in his voice.Fang fell silent, not knowing what to say. He thought that there definitely were a few achievements that he had made in the last year but if Ren thought that none of them were worth it, then"Sorry," Fang said miserably. "I thought I was doing all right. I I will try to do better in the future. I will not disappoint you again, Ren"Ren stood up and walked out of the room without a word.Fang stared after him, not knowing what he did wrong or why Ren was so annoyed. He was still staring blankly at the door when Ren came back a few minutes later with a thick notebook in his hand.Fang recognised that notebook. He often saw Ren scribbling in it and he had peered at it a few times, only to find that it was written in some sort of a code. And Ren always snapped the notebook shut and put it away as soon as he found that Fang was trying to steal a glance at its contents. So, Fang had with great reluctance let Ren keep this secret notebook of his. After all, it wasn't like Ren was keeping a secret mistress or something, so what was the harm?Ren thrust the notebook in Fang's hands, and then pulled out another sheet of paper and wrote down something in it before stuffing it in Fang's hands as well."That's the key to the cryptogram I use to write in this notebook," Ren said. "You are clever enough to decipher it immediately as soon as you see the key and read what I have written down, and I'm asking you to do so right now."Fang gave Ren a blank look. "You want me to read your secret notebook?" he asked slowly."Yes," Ren said, flicking Fang's forehead. "Take a look at the key and start reading what I have written down."Fang obeyed silently. He glanced at the key, and then opened the notebook.The deciphered text on the first page read 'Fang's Daily Progress Monitoring Journal' and it was a log book of sorts, which listed out everything Fang achieved on a daily basis, and also the things which went wrong, and things Ren could improve or seek help for so that Fang could do better or he could support Fang better.Fang flipped a few pages and then looked up at Ren with his mouth hanging open. "Ren, you" he started speaking, but then his voice trailed off, because he was too overwhelmed to say anything to Ren.Ren sighed and ruffled Fang's hair affectionately."Do you have any idea exactly how many achievements, in total, you have made in the last one year from a neutral perspective?" Ren demanded.Fang shook his head."Six hundred and twenty three," Ren said. "And I know this so precisely because I have written all of them down in this notebook."Fang was stunned into silence."Now do you understand why I was confused and thought I had heard you wrong? How can you possibly list down six hundred and twenty three achievements in a few minutes?!" Ren demanded, pinching Fang's fair cheeks playfully."And, on top of that," Ren continued, annoyance colouring his voice. "On top of that, you even started saying that you haven't achieved much and that you will try not to disappoint me?! Have I ever told you that you have disappointed me? Have I not made it adequately clear even by now that I am immensely proud of you? Tell me, my dear little darling how do I make you believe how wonderful and amazing you are? Do you want me to stand on the rooftop of Sirocco and shout it out for all of Cosmopolis to hear? Because I will be all too happy to do that, if that's the case!"Fang chuckled helplessly and then pulled Ren into a tight hug. "Thank you," he murmured. "Thank you, Ren. There is no need for you to shout it from the rooftops. We will do that together when we get married in a few years."Ren huffed. "Now you sit down properly and start making the list just like Dr. Gordon has asked you to," he said. "And don't you dare copy things from my notebook! Because that's my list, not yours! And once you are done writing, we will sit and compare notes and see what matches and what doesn't, and then you will add to the list all the good things that you would have missed out on," he informed Fang.Fang laughed. "How do you know that I will miss things out?" he asked.Ren narrowed his eyes at his young fianc. "Who was the one telling me just now that they only have a few achievements in the last year and that they were going to do much better in the future?" Ren pointed out in a flat voice.Fang flushed. "I'll try and list down things properly," he murmured. "But do you really think that I have achieved that much in the last year?"Ren huffed. "Are you being dense on purpose just now or are you fishing for compliments? Or is it that you want to take the easy way out and simply copy from my list instead of using your own considerable brains on the homework that Dr. Gordon has assigned to you?" he demanded, flicking Fang's forehead again.Fang pouted. He was actually hoping to take a look at Ren's notebook he was definitely very, very interested in what Ren had written about him! Who wouldn't be, if they were in the same position as Fang right now?
