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Published at 21st of August 2023 03:48:32 PM


Chapter 111

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As a princess, I was all too used to my smallest endeavours drawing the adoration of commoners and nobility alike.

Granted, all which separated the two were a handful of vowels and consonants. But even so.

Whether it be my 937th award winning dabble in modern impressionism or the simple grace I exuded as I swept a chocolat chaud through the nearest window, I treated the wide eyes of my admirers as I did the gasps whenever my father juggled a dozen flaming Château de Dutaine les chouacheux over the heads of foreign dignitaries.

With a nod and no more. 

Adoration, screams and falling chairs, after all, were as inevitable as the way the dockside breeze fashionably tussled through my hair. It was a matter of fact as routine as my mother’s maids rolling me from my bed each morning, and so I took it in my stride, barely shifting even as a commotion drowned out the sound of the waves flowing against Trierport’s quay.

“Betsy! You’re okay! Oh, I’ve missed you so much!”

“Uuuu … Momo … I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Popppppieeeeeeeee!!”

Yes.

It truly was awful.

Not only because the wailing of peasants who should be toiling in the fields was like a chorus of banshees shrieking against my ear, but also because there were some accomplishments so unfathomably small that even from my hands, it really shouldn’t invite any fawning.

For example … capturing a small group of petty brigands, their crimes so lowly that even the 10,000,000 bars of soap they’d be forced to use were wasted upon them.

And yet here I was.

Standing upon Trierport’s docks, my personal space being intruded upon by the entirety of the town’s garrison, half the townsfolk, representatives from the Adventurer’s Guild and a considerable number of mewling cats still awaiting their owners to collect them.

“Thank you for waiting,” said the receptionist, her professional smile undaunted as she presented, no, conjured a small sack of coins to me. “I’ve now confirmed the successful completion of 76 simultaneous F-ranked commissions.”

My mouth opened wide without care for etiquette.

“76 … ?”

The receptionist nodded smartly, still holding out her laden palm to me.

“As is standard procedure, I’ve compiled the monetary rewards into one payment. The total remuneration is 83 gold crowns, 7 silver crowns and 5 copper crowns.”

I blinked at the sack being presented to me, then glanced at the scene occurring behind the receptionist’s shoulder.

The vagrants were tied up on the ground, soaked in both the waters of Trierport and their own tears as they continually shifted away from my direction, pleading for the guards to save them by hurling them into prison.

As this pitiful scene unfolded, an even greater one took place before me.

That of grown adults falling to their knees in tearful relief even as their own rebellious pets sprung away to become lost once more.

Mercifully, this didn’t invalidate the reward.

83 gold crowns.

7 silver crowns.

5 copper crowns.

It was … well, not even enough to purchase a third of one of my books.

Though still a paltry sum, it significantly dwarfed the reward I’d received from the dryad commission. That endeavour had rewarded me with an insignificant 30 gold crowns. And yet it was something I’d gladly take over completing 76 commissions of rescuing lost cats.

I ensured the receptionist noted my grief as I collected the bag from her hands.

I’d just cleared an entire town of its backlog of most worthless requests!

To have rescued so many cats was an achievement which would now permanently stain the record I didn’t care for. And the meagre reward which each commission entailed was testament to that. A little over a single gold crown was the average.

How ordinary F-rank adventurers survived was a question even the greatest minds, of which I was one, couldn’t answer. Especially now that I’d officially run them out of business.

Indeed, if there was any benefit to this debacle, it was that. 

The slovenly adventurers of this town would finally be forced to do some work.

It was, frankly, a terrible misuse of my talents. Dealing with miscreants was hardly the same as unearthing a vast criminal enterprise or bringing a dark conspiracy to light. I did more impressive things while asleep. Maintaining my scowl even as I happily dreamed about being assailed by parfaits? Now that was worthy of accolades.

And yet … And yet …

“Ohhh, thank you so much!”

“Young lady, I owe you all I have!!”

I was being mobbed!

Again!

But this time, it wasn’t merchants with at least a rudimentary understanding of hygiene.

It was … peasants. 

They were as grimy as the carrots they pulled from the fields. And yet in defiance of my memories, they were not fleeing or cowering, but actually approaching me!

It was … It was awful!

“Oho … ohoho … of course … yes, you’re welcome … no, please do not approach … yes, this is real gold inlaid on my attire … no, I’m not interested in purchasing any clay pottery … it is, clay, yes? Then no, no thank you …”

Witnessing my interaction with the receptionist come to a close, I recoiled as farmers, fishermen and potters elbowed their way past one another, each wishing to steal a morsel of my precious time to thank me, sell me their wares or … or touch me.

As muddy hands swept up to reach for mine, I immediately danced away, seeking shelter behind Coppelia’s laughing and highly unhelpful figure.

The next moment, I was eyeing a looming shadow instead.

Reaching over the gathering crowd, I saw innumerable pairs of eyes blink as they looked up. And then like dandelions in the breeze, they all melted away.

I turned to see who I would knight for this meritorious service.

An ogre in a plumed tricorne, at the head of his crew. In his arms was an overweight tabby with silver stripes, its whiskers stuck to a button in his crimson waistcoat.

“A fine performance, young lady,” said Captain Talrik, his beaming smile shooing the tide of commoners away more than any frown. “Far better than I could have expected. And so I offer my apologies.”

“Your apologies?” I queried, still eyeing the nearby peasants warily.

The captain nodded as he rescued his cat from his button.

“Frankly, I never expected you to be able to find Beanieboo. You’re not the first D-rank adventurer we personally commissioned, after all.”

“Then you may rejoice. It’s not your apologies I desire. Merely your ship, and capable hands to crew it. When shall we depart?”

The ogre chuckled, despite not a single jest being made.

“‘Merely’, you say, as if my ship were not my lifeblood. And yet I’m a trader. So what would I be if I were not to honour a promise?”

“A pirate, I imagine.”

Suddenly, the ogre’s expression took on a serious hue as he shook his head.

“Even pirates keep to their promises. To be deceitful is to be a bearer of misfortune.”

“Excuse me?”

“There’a reason why pirates wave their flags openly, and not under any guise. We of the sea share a common understanding. Not through camaraderie, but necessity. Those who fail to uphold the virtues of seamanship will find themselves stranded. And the sea takes as much as it gives. Though irredeemable rogues, you will find more honesty among pirates than you will among knights.” 

I raised an eyebrow.

“You mistake honour for bluster. Because I assure you, none of those who ransack the countryside with shovels and ill will have any of it. I shall enjoy introducing them to the boot of authority.”

“The boot of authority?”

I pointed at my heel. The gleam in the ogre’s eyes betrayed his amusement.

“The boot of a D-rank adventurer. Truly a fearsome weapon. But one they’ll need to contemplate if I’m to offer you passage against the current. A significant ‘if’. Still, my promise stands. You wished to contest with the pirate armada. And I agreed to a conversation. This we shall now do. Say you have my ship, what is your plan?”

I gave it a moment’s thought.

And then–I raised my hand to my lips and smiled.

“Ohohoho … why, it’s to remove every trace of that black flag from the horizon, of course.”

“That is a proposal, not a plan. And one which shall require a fleet, not a ship.”

“Then sail me close and I shall have Apple complete the distance.”

“What is Apple?”

“Apple is my horse. If necessary, he will also be my boat.”

“We’ll be going into open water, ma’am.”

“Yes. They shall never expect it.”

“I … I see.” The ogre paused. “For the purposes of your suggestion, I believe it’d be more sensible to complete the distance using a rowing boat, as is more common.”

“Precisely. They will be expecting a rowing boat. They will not be expecting a horse.”

The captain blinked, undoubtedly stunned by my display of intricate strategy.

“Well, putting aside the seaworthiness of your … horse, I’m afraid to say that this is a highly unfeasible proposal.”

“I disagree. But continue.”

Once again, the captain blinked. 

Curious, perhaps he didn’t spend much time beneath the sun? Typical. Captains these days enjoyed the luxuries of their cabin more than their deck. 

“The pirate armada currently numbers over a dozen ships, with more coming and leaving as suits the whims of each captain. Too many. Unless you intend to traverse the entirety of the Emerald Sea on your horse, I’m afraid that my ship will undoubtedly be lost to cannonballs, magic or flaming ballistas before the night is done. That is, if you intend to assail each and every one.”

“Unnecessary. My time is short and my patience for the salt air shorter. You may simply sail me towards the largest ship instead.”

“Excuse me?” 

I nodded.

Indeed, here was my plan! The one I most certainly didn’t make up 5 seconds ago!

Ohhohohohohoho! It was so simple!

Just as no ship was without a captain, no fleet was without an admiral … or whatever counted as an admiral amongst these rogues!

In which case, the path ahead was breathtakingly clear!

“I take it that even pirate fleets have some semblance of leadership I can thoroughly cower? If so, the matter is simple. We shall do away with the largest ship and work our way down from there.”

Indeed, handling pirates was no different to quenching crime in Reitzlake or rebellion in Aquina!

They may not be headed by nobility, but they had leaders of similar disrepute. There was only one way to ensure these cockroaches would keep to the distant corners of the sea, and that was to thoroughly remove those who led them!

Without leadership, the pirates will scatter, to fight amongst themselves and to compete for scraps with the monsters which lurk beneath their hulls. All brigands were characterised by their shared cowardice. Those of the sea were no different to those currently snivelling on the ground.

The ogre, evidently, did not disagree.

He fell into a quiet hum, his eyes studying my worth even the moonlight drawn to my radiant figure should have been enough.

“I can assure you that what you just suggested is no simple matter … though perhaps it’s not the worst proposal.”

“Excellent. Then let us be off. Trierport’s market opens early and I intend to use my reward from rescuing …”

“Beanieboo.”

“Yes, that. I intend to replenish my supply of premium apples. The ones from Aquina are already devoured and both my steed and my future handmaiden compete to see who can leave the mushiest behind.”

Beside me, Coppelia offered no defence as she smiled sweetly. The greatest admission of guilt there was.

“You shall miss the market, I’m afraid,” said the captain, stoically ignoring the cat clearly attempting to escape his arms. “If you intend to meet the leader of the pirates, then you’ll have to travel further than the horizon.”

“Is whoever’s in charge cowering where the sun has long set, then?” 

“In a manner of speaking. Suffice to say, the Golden Prince is not within a night’s sail.”

For a moment, I doubted my own ears. A feat usually only Coppelia accomplished with me.

“Who?” I asked plainly.

The captain smiled, and yet all I saw was a newly ignited animosity in his eyes.

“The Golden Prince. The one who holds command. A man of the Principalities, raised as a merchant, a sailor and a gentleman. And now a leader of pirates.”

I raised my arms in exasperation.

The Golden Prince?

What … What an absolute travesty!

The Principalities had no true princes. Royalty did not exist there. Only thieves and the barkeepers who watered them. Yet even given how debaucherously the Principalities worked, this was an outrage against even the most course of decorum!

There were only two princes in the Kingdom of Tirea, and both of them were afraid of swimming! How dare this … this common knave from those lawless islands to the south dare cause his wished up title to be uttered by those upon my lands!

A rogue who wasn’t a prince dared to assume such an extravagant title? It was an insult against true royalty! Did he not know how hard it was for me to be a princess? Untold scores of my ancestors died to preserve my royal lineage! They faced poison, daggers and guillotines in order for me to be a princess! … Mostly from each other!

To be merely raised into royalty as if it could be decided over a gambling table and the clinking of cups was a jest beyond comedy. It was appalling!

No, this would not do. I refused to have it!

This Golden Prince was quite free to raid, steal and shovel up whichever island he was plucked from, but his insult against the sacrifices of royalty would not be entertained here!

I would not have someone like this operating against my kingdom!

“Oho … quite the look you have there, young lady,” said the captain, nodding. “Truthfully, it was never my intent to do more than humour your request, but I see more than the will to rescue cats in your eyes. The fire of the Bloodskull Tribe burns in your veins. A rarer sight than treasure among your kind.”

I clenched my fists, then turned my gaze towards the sea.

The black silhouettes could no longer be sighted, their shapes hidden even from the moonlight. But somewhere beyond that horizon, a scoundrel worked to upheave my kingdom’s finances, its soil and its dignity.

I intended to take back everything which was stolen. With royal interest.

“I will do away with this Golden Prince, and any who follow him,” I declared. “And I shall do so now. Take me to him. Dawn comes too late. This farce has gone unimpeded enough. I can fix my sleep schedule tomorrow!”

The captain responded with a scratch of his chin. 

He was no subject of this kingdom, and I couldn’t command him. But even so, I would have my way. Both of us had bottom lines to restore. And whether a captain or a princess, time was a commodity we both needed preserving.

Eventually, he gave a nod of satisfaction. Whatever the fire of the Bloodskull Tribe entailed, I saw it briefly light up in his eyes.

“An unfamiliar wind brought me to the Adventurer’s Guild today. This meeting wasn’t chance. But fate. Even so, I cannot take you to the Golden Prince … I can, however, take you somewhat close.”

“Somewhat close, captain?”

“There are some … details regarding the pirates I believe you are unaware of.”

The ogre’s eyes glanced around us, taking in the many eyes and ears still present on the docks. I pursed my lips.

Details, he may have said. Secrets, is what I heard.

“Very well,” I said, sweeping past the captain as I headed down the docks. “Then you may inform me as we depart. Where is your ship?”

“Uh, my ship’s the other way.”

I turned again, then swept past the captain as I headed up the docks–only to come face to face with a smiling receptionist.

I thought about turning around again.

She stood utterly straight, as unbending as a wooden beam. Even her hair was steadfastly still in the breeze. Should any captain lose their anchor, they could simply tie up a receptionist and toss them overboard instead.

“Excuse me, am I correct in my understanding that you intend to remove the pirate presence currently assailing Trierport?”

“Yes … ?”

The receptionist nodded.

I waited to see what help she would offer. Could it be that in the absence of actual functioning adventurers, the guild itself would finally be cajoled into action?

And then, she snapped her fingers, conjuring up a document.

“Excellent! … Could you please sign this waiver?”





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