Ba-thump ba-thump
Leon's heart beats.
Ba-thump
Sometimes, he wonders why.
Ba-thump
Is it his heart?
Ba-thump
Or is it 'Leon's' heart?
Ba-thump
It must be 'Leon's' heart.
Around the fifth year of Leon's stay in this world, he began questioning the existence of the character 'Leon.'
Why was 'Leon' the loyal best friend?
Why did 'Leon' never get a lover?
How was 'Leon' able to survive until the end?
Especially when no one else did?
Leon may have only read the book once, but he always knew that 'Leon' was just a comedic story reliever. Just there for the fun and laughs. But was there something else? Was there something different about 'Leon?' Was the author trying to convey something about 'Leon?' Or did the author just not focus on 'Leon' all that much?
Leon doesn't know for sure, but he does have suspicions.
Sometime around the fifth year of Leon's stay, right after the protagonist received his blood-controlling ability, Leon realized something about 'Leon.' And maybe it has been there since the beginning. The author might have even implied it this entire time but never actually confirmed it.
Anyway, 'Leon' was probably in love with the protagonist.
Why else did 'Leon' risk his life every day?
Just for the sake of friendship?
Absolutely not.
'Leon' had a family just like the protagonist did, but never once worried about them. There was a literal war where even the protagonist's family all died, yet 'Leon' never thought about his own. Not once wanted to check up on them and see if they were okay. Not even send a letter. It's not like their relationship was bad. 'Leon' loved his family, and they loved him. So, how come 'Leon' never seems to worry about them?
Then there was the awful flirting. Leon knew that if 'Leon' truly wanted to get a lover, he could have anyone he wanted. He may be a nobody from the countryside, but so was the protagonist. Leon wasn't exactly bad-looking. He had reputation and personality, and he even had his own fanbase. Hell, he is the protagonist's, the hero's, best friend. There is no reason for him to stay single, or at least a virgin, for all those years. Unless he was purposely trying to. But what would his purpose be?
And though many people may think that 'Leon' is dumb, especially with his happy-go-lucky attitude, he was actually quite clever. Not only was he adept at fighting, but his people skills were top-notch. He knew how to get information, who and where to contact for help, who could be trusted, and who couldn't. He was the exact reason why the protagonist got allies and information in the first place. But it was always presented in such a casual manner that not even the readers realized that it was actually 'Leon' who was doing all the important talking. All of that information was always buried under 'Leon's' loud personality and made to be annoying, just for the protagonist to shine brighter.
But that doesn't explain why 'Leon' would go through all the trouble just to stay by the protagonist's side.
You don't just stop your entire life for one person, right?
Even if they're your best friend.
'Leon' could still live his own life and care for the protagonist, but it's as if his whole life revolved around the protagonist.
Ba-thump
And this feeling in 'Leon's' chest, the smile on his face, and the eyes that only hold the protagonist in them, it was clear what this feeling was. Whether or not 'Leon' realized it himself, it was obvious that he was in love.
In love with his best friend.
'System,' Leon called that night, the night the protagonist proved that he could control blood, 'Leon is in love with the protagonist, isn't he?'
System: ?
System: The book never confirmed it, but it is implicated. I believe it was made that way to attract certain fans.
Leon, 'Then . . . this heart, it doesn't belong to me?'
System: Leon's body has been inputted with all the correct settings. As you know, your abilities and skills are things that the body already possesses or will soon possess. You shouldn't think too hard about it.
'Hmm,' Leon stared at the ceiling nonchalantly, realizing once again that 'Leon's' body truly isn't his own.
These feelings of adoration don't belong to him. So Leon ignores it.
As the years went by, Leon watched as the protagonist went from woman to woman, constantly building his harem all over Aruvar. Though many of them are either left behind or end up dying, their feelings linger as the protagonist carries them through his journey.
It was clear that 'Leon' was not a love interest.
That wasn't his role.
He wasn't made for romance.
He may be the only person the protagonist has, but he won't ever catch the protagonist's eyes.
His whole existence was only to aid the protagonist.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Leon doesn't understand what 'Leon' sees in the protagonist. 'Leon' sacrificed his own well-being, his time, his family, and even his love life, all for the protagonist. And in return, all he gets is a best friend who doesn't even plan to stick around. 'Leon' doesn't get any titles, any lovers, or any mind-blowing jobs. He just goes back to living with his family in that small countryside. The End.
So, Leon doesn't like the protagonist. He doesn't like him at all. The protagonist is lucky. He doesn't even have to try; everything is given to him on a golden platter. He has easy access to any opportunity, a multitude of people to depend on, power that no one possesses, and most of all, a world that he belongs to.
So Leon doesn't like him at all. Not one bit.
Ba-thump
But this heart still beats.
Ba-thump
'Leon's' heart beats for the protagonist.
It's annoying.
Leon hates it.
Present:
Leon doesn't keep track of time. Rather, he doesn't bother to. It could be months, or maybe even years already. But it doesn't matter.
He still dreams of incomplete memories.
He still cries for those distant dreams.
He still breathes because his heart still beats.
And every day, from morning to night, his pain grows continuously. He tries harder to delude himself. He tries harder to free himself. But it is of no use. These chains wrap around him so tightly that they gnaw into his skin and burn his every being. There is no point fighting a losing battle, so he might as well just await death.
Whenever death is allowed to claim him.
The days that his delusions are weak do come, though.
It comes in the form of anger and pain.
He yells and screams. He cries and hurt.
But it doesn't matter what he does, it all ends the same.
So he goes back to sleep and deludes himself again.
An endless cycle that only causes more pain.
But pain is a normal feeling.
He's felt it for years.
And normal is good.
So, pain is good.
Thunk!
It's the sound of a book.
It sits in front of Leon's down-cast eyes, and Leon recognizes it. It brings a small sense of familiarity.
A hand flips open the book only to reveal white, empty pages.
Oh.
His eyes tremble just so slightly.
That's right.
'It's a sketchbook,'
It's been so long since he's seen one.
This one is so vivid. So lifelike. There are no incomplete blotches. He can see every page, every detail, he wants to touch it. But Leon doesn't dare touch it, afraid that it's not real. Just like most of his delusions.
A pencil is forced into his hand.
His fingers react on instinct, holding the pencil just like he's used to. But he still doesn't dare to move. But then his hand is softly placed on top of an empty white page of the sketchbook.
This was the most vivid and realistic thing he's experienced besides just eating food.
And he wants to draw.
He wants to draw.
He wants to draw.
But there is nothing that comes to mind.
No inspiration.
No spark.
How can he enjoy drawing when there is nothing that he wants to draw?
What is there to draw anyway?
What was the last thing he even wanted to draw?
Drop
Oh no.
Drop Drop
The pages.
Drop drop drop
They're getting wet.
He can't let it get wet.
The paper.
He hasn't used it yet.
There's no undo button.
He can't erase wet marks.
How can he-
Fingers wipe his eyes and cheeks. Then they try to take the sketchbook and pencil. His sketchbook and pencil. But now, Leon doesn't dare let go. He doesn't want to see it disappear. Doesn't want another thing taken away from him. He was finally able to touch something. Touch something he enjoyed. How could he possibly let go?
The tears come harder.
The pages get wet.
But he doesn't let go.
And he cries and cries.
Over an empty sheet of paper.
("I know I suggested it, but . . . was this a good idea?' Seven asked, "I've never seen Leon cry like this,"
Rey nodded, "It's good,"
"If you say so-"
"-Oh yippee, we're bringing cursed human joy," Valora scoffed, a new member of Rey's party. A wooden elf, a healer of sorts.
Rey ignored her and continued looking after Leon.
Seven stared at Valora with an incredulous expression before running to whisper to her, "You should watch what you say, you don't understand how important Leon is,"
Valora rolled her eyes, "He's deadweight—a cursed one at that too. That's what he is,"
Seven gawked at her, "You-you, that . . . No one forced you to come with us!"
"Of course not, you guys need me!"
"What the h- I assure you, we don't. Leon is way more important than you think! He hasn't even done anything to you,"
"Exactly. Other than crying and screaming like a child, he hasn't done anything at all!"
Seven was lost for words. He could only stare in disbelief at Valora's harsh words. Then he turned towards Rey and pointed at the elven woman, expecting him to do something about her.
Instead, Rey just shrugged his shoulders and said, "If she stays, she stays. If she leaves, she leaves,"
Seven was even more lost for words, 'You don't even let me stare at Leon, but you let this woman insult him?! What is this, favoritism?! Does she know you longer than I do or something?!')
Eventually, Leon's tears stopped.
And now he just sat there, pencil in hand, staring at the damp, empty page.
He hoped a spark of inspiration would come to him.
Or maybe even a memory.
A face that he can recognize.
But there was nothing.
It was just . . . blank.
Suddenly, a familiar hand is placed right on top of his own.
Leon scoffs.
He laughs.
What was it again?
The last thing he wanted to draw?
It was the face of that damn protagonist.
So he can throw darts at it.
How ironic.
The one person he hates is also the one person he can draw.
Leon's hand moves.
He draws line after line, each careful and precise.
Everything based on memory.
And as Leon draws, he cries again.
Ba-thump
'Leon's' heart beats, and it beats for the protagonist.
Leon hates it.
He hates it so much.
Why are his most precious memories replaced with his most hated?
Why can't he remember the faces he yearns to see, but the protagonist's is clear as day?
Why must this heart beat for the protagonist when it is him who lives in this body?
And Leon knows.
He knows that as much as he hates the protagonist, it is 'Leon' that he hates even more.
Ba-thump ba-thump
Leon's heart beats.
Ba-thump
Sometimes, he wonders why.
Ba-thump
Is it his heart?
Ba-thump
Or is it 'Leon's' heart?
Ba-thump
It must be 'Leon's' heart.
Around the fifth year of Leon's stay in this world, he began questioning the existence of the character 'Leon.'
Why was 'Leon' the loyal best friend?
Why did 'Leon' never get a lover?
How was 'Leon' able to survive until the end?
Especially when no one else did?
Leon may have only read the book once, but he always knew that 'Leon' was just a comedic story reliever. Just there for the fun and laughs. But was there something else? Was there something different about 'Leon?' Was the author trying to convey something about 'Leon?' Or did the author just not focus on 'Leon' all that much?
Leon doesn't know for sure, but he does have suspicions.
Sometime around the fifth year of Leon's stay, right after the protagonist received his blood-controlling ability, Leon realized something about 'Leon.' And maybe it has been there since the beginning. The author might have even implied it this entire time but never actually confirmed it.
Anyway, 'Leon' was probably in love with the protagonist.
Why else did 'Leon' risk his life every day?
Just for the sake of friendship?
Absolutely not.
'Leon' had a family just like the protagonist did, but never once worried about them. There was a literal war where even the protagonist's family all died, yet 'Leon' never thought about his own. Not once wanted to check up on them and see if they were okay. Not even send a letter. It's not like their relationship was bad. 'Leon' loved his family, and they loved him. So, how come 'Leon' never seems to worry about them?
Then there was the awful flirting. Leon knew that if 'Leon' truly wanted to get a lover, he could have anyone he wanted. He may be a nobody from the countryside, but so was the protagonist. Leon wasn't exactly bad-looking. He had reputation and personality, and he even had his own fanbase. Hell, he is the protagonist's, the hero's, best friend. There is no reason for him to stay single, or at least a virgin, for all those years. Unless he was purposely trying to. But what would his purpose be?
And though many people may think that 'Leon' is dumb, especially with his happy-go-lucky attitude, he was actually quite clever. Not only was he adept at fighting, but his people skills were top-notch. He knew how to get information, who and where to contact for help, who could be trusted, and who couldn't. He was the exact reason why the protagonist got allies and information in the first place. But it was always presented in such a casual manner that not even the readers realized that it was actually 'Leon' who was doing all the important talking. All of that information was always buried under 'Leon's' loud personality and made to be annoying, just for the protagonist to shine brighter.
But that doesn't explain why 'Leon' would go through all the trouble just to stay by the protagonist's side.
You don't just stop your entire life for one person, right?
Even if they're your best friend.
'Leon' could still live his own life and care for the protagonist, but it's as if his whole life revolved around the protagonist.
Ba-thump
And this feeling in 'Leon's' chest, the smile on his face, and the eyes that only hold the protagonist in them, it was clear what this feeling was. Whether or not 'Leon' realized it himself, it was obvious that he was in love.
In love with his best friend.
'System,' Leon called that night, the night the protagonist proved that he could control blood, 'Leon is in love with the protagonist, isn't he?'
System: ?
System: The book never confirmed it, but it is implicated. I believe it was made that way to attract certain fans.
Leon, 'Then . . . this heart, it doesn't belong to me?'
System: Leon's body has been inputted with all the correct settings. As you know, your abilities and skills are things that the body already possesses or will soon possess. You shouldn't think too hard about it.
'Hmm,' Leon stared at the ceiling nonchalantly, realizing once again that 'Leon's' body truly isn't his own.
These feelings of adoration don't belong to him. So Leon ignores it.
As the years went by, Leon watched as the protagonist went from woman to woman, constantly building his harem all over Aruvar. Though many of them are either left behind or end up dying, their feelings linger as the protagonist carries them through his journey.
It was clear that 'Leon' was not a love interest.
That wasn't his role.
He wasn't made for romance.
He may be the only person the protagonist has, but he won't ever catch the protagonist's eyes.
His whole existence was only to aid the protagonist.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Leon doesn't understand what 'Leon' sees in the protagonist. 'Leon' sacrificed his own well-being, his time, his family, and even his love life, all for the protagonist. And in return, all he gets is a best friend who doesn't even plan to stick around. 'Leon' doesn't get any titles, any lovers, or any mind-blowing jobs. He just goes back to living with his family in that small countryside. The End.
So, Leon doesn't like the protagonist. He doesn't like him at all. The protagonist is lucky. He doesn't even have to try; everything is given to him on a golden platter. He has easy access to any opportunity, a multitude of people to depend on, power that no one possesses, and most of all, a world that he belongs to.
So Leon doesn't like him at all. Not one bit.
Ba-thump
But this heart still beats.
Ba-thump
'Leon's' heart beats for the protagonist.
It's annoying.
Leon hates it.
Present:
Leon doesn't keep track of time. Rather, he doesn't bother to. It could be months, or maybe even years already. But it doesn't matter.
He still dreams of incomplete memories.
He still cries for those distant dreams.
He still breathes because his heart still beats.
And every day, from morning to night, his pain grows continuously. He tries harder to delude himself. He tries harder to free himself. But it is of no use. These chains wrap around him so tightly that they gnaw into his skin and burn his every being. There is no point fighting a losing battle, so he might as well just await death.
Whenever death is allowed to claim him.
The days that his delusions are weak do come, though.
It comes in the form of anger and pain.
He yells and screams. He cries and hurt.
But it doesn't matter what he does, it all ends the same.
So he goes back to sleep and deludes himself again.
An endless cycle that only causes more pain.
But pain is a normal feeling.
He's felt it for years.
And normal is good.
So, pain is good.
Thunk!
It's the sound of a book.
It sits in front of Leon's down-cast eyes, and Leon recognizes it. It brings a small sense of familiarity.
A hand flips open the book only to reveal white, empty pages.
Oh.
His eyes tremble just so slightly.
That's right.
'It's a sketchbook,'
It's been so long since he's seen one.
This one is so vivid. So lifelike. There are no incomplete blotches. He can see every page, every detail, he wants to touch it. But Leon doesn't dare touch it, afraid that it's not real. Just like most of his delusions.
A pencil is forced into his hand.
His fingers react on instinct, holding the pencil just like he's used to. But he still doesn't dare to move. But then his hand is softly placed on top of an empty white page of the sketchbook.
This was the most vivid and realistic thing he's experienced besides just eating food.
And he wants to draw.
He wants to draw.
He wants to draw.
But there is nothing that comes to mind.
No inspiration.
No spark.
How can he enjoy drawing when there is nothing that he wants to draw?
What is there to draw anyway?
What was the last thing he even wanted to draw?
Drop
Oh no.
Drop Drop
The pages.
Drop drop drop
They're getting wet.
He can't let it get wet.
The paper.
He hasn't used it yet.
There's no undo button.
He can't erase wet marks.
How can he-
Fingers wipe his eyes and cheeks. Then they try to take the sketchbook and pencil. His sketchbook and pencil. But now, Leon doesn't dare let go. He doesn't want to see it disappear. Doesn't want another thing taken away from him. He was finally able to touch something. Touch something he enjoyed. How could he possibly let go?
The tears come harder.
The pages get wet.
But he doesn't let go.
And he cries and cries.
Over an empty sheet of paper.
("I know I suggested it, but . . . was this a good idea?' Seven asked, "I've never seen Leon cry like this,"
Rey nodded, "It's good,"
"If you say so-"
"-Oh yippee, we're bringing cursed human joy," Valora scoffed, a new member of Rey's party. A wooden elf, a healer of sorts.
Rey ignored her and continued looking after Leon.
Seven stared at Valora with an incredulous expression before running to whisper to her, "You should watch what you say, you don't understand how important Leon is,"
Valora rolled her eyes, "He's deadweight—a cursed one at that too. That's what he is,"
Seven gawked at her, "You-you, that . . . No one forced you to come with us!"
"Of course not, you guys need me!"
"What the h- I assure you, we don't. Leon is way more important than you think! He hasn't even done anything to you,"
"Exactly. Other than crying and screaming like a child, he hasn't done anything at all!"
Seven was lost for words. He could only stare in disbelief at Valora's harsh words. Then he turned towards Rey and pointed at the elven woman, expecting him to do something about her.
Instead, Rey just shrugged his shoulders and said, "If she stays, she stays. If she leaves, she leaves,"
Seven was even more lost for words, 'You don't even let me stare at Leon, but you let this woman insult him?! What is this, favoritism?! Does she know you longer than I do or something?!')
Eventually, Leon's tears stopped.
And now he just sat there, pencil in hand, staring at the damp, empty page.
He hoped a spark of inspiration would come to him.
Or maybe even a memory.
A face that he can recognize.
But there was nothing.
It was just . . . blank.
Suddenly, a familiar hand is placed right on top of his own.
Leon scoffs.
He laughs.
What was it again?
The last thing he wanted to draw?
It was the face of that damn protagonist.
So he can throw darts at it.
How ironic.
The one person he hates is also the one person he can draw.
Leon's hand moves.
He draws line after line, each careful and precise.
Everything based on memory.
And as Leon draws, he cries again.
Ba-thump
'Leon's' heart beats, and it beats for the protagonist.
Leon hates it.
He hates it so much.
Why are his most precious memories replaced with his most hated?
Why can't he remember the faces he yearns to see, but the protagonist's is clear as day?
Why must this heart beat for the protagonist when it is him who lives in this body?
And Leon knows.
He knows that as much as he hates the protagonist, it is 'Leon' that he hates even more.
