The next morning, my body felt mostly fine. The increased resilience of the Pure, further enhanced by my being a K4 ensured that at least.
It still had taken a bit over nine hours of sleep to get to that point, and I had a craving for a good breakfast.
But physically I was fully recovered.
The same could not be said about my mental condition. I could not say that I ever enjoyed these kinds of marathon sessions, but I have to say, this time it was worse than ever.
That had several reasons of course.
The easier to understand one is probably that I previously was limited to less than 60:1 compression.
Or one day in real-time translating to 57 in cyberspace. With a limit of six days at once, that left me at a bit over 11 months in cyberspace time.
With Glory, I had 240:1. More than four times as much. Even in the roughly 2½ days in real time it took me to solve the problem, for me, it was more like more than a year and a half.
580 days of non-stop concentration, without sleep, without eating, without anything but banging my head against the most complex piece of math I knew, trying to decipher the meaning of this arcane equation.
I was a bit surprised that I had not given up and taken a break. And you can believe me, I was tempted. Sorely tempted.
But more surprising to me was that I actually missed the interaction with the others. Not everybody to the same extent, and in all honesty, I couldn’t care less if I never saw Mia again, but yes, it was the isolation that was the hardest.
But the early successes, when I got the theoretical possibility of the quantum field from the equation made me soldier on.
I knew I was on to something, and when my BOUs identified the quantum field in question I was vindicated.
The design of the two devices was, well it was a slog, and I forced myself through it, and now it was, hopefully, mostly over but the crying.
I sent an invitation to Ben for breakfast, when I began preparing it, and I felt quite warm in my chest when he agreed.
The others came to the table, looking at the spread I had prepared somewhat in shock. Ok, maybe I have gone a bit overboard. So what? I had more than a year, subjective, to build up an appetite. And yes, I know I could have manifested simulated food in cyberspace.
But despite the realism, it is just not the same. I could not explain why, but it just isn’t. Not that that prevented me from snacking now and then, to keep myself somewhat sane. Or at least close enough to sane to play it on tv.
And then Ben arrived and without even realizing it I found myself in his arms.
“I missed that. I missed you.” Yes, I was blubbering, as my vision blurred. It just felt so… right.
He just held me for a few moments, without saying anything, only giving me a soft kiss on the top of my head.
Finally, he let go of the hug and just held my shoulders.
“You look calmer than the last time I saw you. Have you been successful? Was it worth it?”
I slowly nodded. “I feel calmer. I had more than a year and a half to get over it. And I think so. I’ll have to test it of course. But… well, if it doesn’t work I’ll have to go at it at a later time.”
He stared into my eyes intensely.
“At a later time? You want to do this again?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“No, never again. Never such a… session again. It was… I can’t describe how awful it was.”
He softly led me towards the table.
“If it was so bad, why did you not come out earlier?”
I sighed.
“I… I think it was mostly my pride. I thought I had to do it. Now, looking back, I would say I was wrong. But in there, I just wanted it to be done and over with.”
We both sat down, while the rest of the group here, and Ben’s guards as well, began to eat.
Darren was barely able to keep calm. We all could see the nervous energy in every movement he made. In the end, he could no longer stay silent.
“You said you have something? What… do you have any idea how it works?”
I let out a long breath, centering my thoughts.
“Yes, I have something. And no, I won’t talk about it now. I… well, I will finish the tests, but otherwise, I’ll not do anything of importance for the next few days.”
The Psionic’s face fell, but he nodded.
“I think I understand. I have to say I’ve never seen you that… muted is the best I can say.”
We looked at each other in silence.
Of course, that was the moment Mia absolutely had to put in her two cents.
“What, just because you lazed around for more than two days you are now entitled to more rest? Just like that?”
I… normally I would at least react a bit peeved to that, but right at this moment, I could not muster the energy to do that.
“I would suggest you refrain from commenting on things you don’t understand. It prevents the appearance of not being an idiot.”
Sadly, Mia was not deterred.
“You are just lazy. We all have our cross to bear. You are nothing special. So why do you have the right to take a time out?”
“I assume what you have to do is study the course on implant surgery I’ve given to you? Well, I already did that. More than a year ago.
Or do you allude to earning money?
Over the last couple of days, I’ve sold more than $5 billion worth of cyberware. Considering that I’ve already had more than that before I’ve come to NYC, I would say that earning more money is… of lesser import to me.
So, if I want to take off for a year, I will take off for a year. I can afford to take off for a century.
A bit of careful investing and I will never have to work again. Unlike you, I’ve already earned my spurs.”
I think what pushed her back the most was the way I said it. Cool, collected, calm, and without even the slightest hints of anger or resentment. Just matter of fact.
Oh, and of course the fact that I did not even look at her, but instead continued to butter my croissant.
Christine interjected at this point:
“While I don’t agree with Mia, and yes, you have earned your rest, why do you think you need it? Not to accuse you but I want to understand.”
I sighed.
“I was in cyberspace for nearly 58 hours, in real-time. I have a compression of 240:1. Simple multiplication gives us the point that I have spent nearly 14 thousand hours of subjective time there. Or one year, seven months, four days, and 18 hours.
Physically I might have even gone longer. I did have a six-day stint in cyberspace once, after all.
But it is… hard to concentrate for 14 thousand hours on something. Without rest. I am at my limit right now. I will do the final tests of what I developed, but only because that is a trivial task.”
Darren spoke in a soft voice:
“You did not need to torture yourself that bad for my problems.”
“I did it for myself as much as for your problems. I could have simply thrown you out of the house if all I wanted was to prevent you from reading my mind.”
Most of the others welled up into exclamations of protest. In response, I lifted my hand and sighed.
“ You notice that he is still here? In other words, I haven’t thrown him out. So, you can stop your protests. I just told him of the alternative that would have solved my problem.” th
Darren nodded.
“Yeah, I understand that. I… honestly, I half expected it. So what will you do now?”
“Well, for one I will have you supervise our guinea pig during the tests. And Warden. There are only two factors. One, either he survives the test unharmed and with his mind still working, or not. If he does, either the device stops Darren from reading his mind, or not.
One ‘or not’ and I will have to try again. But later and more measured. If it works, fine. Then I have something stopping Psionics from reading my mind. Then you will have to decide if you want to risk the second device.”
He tilted his head questioningly.
“Second device?”
“Yes. The first device stops somebody from sending. The second one stops somebody from receiving. But only a Psionic can test the second one. So it is your decision. I think it should be harmless, but I can’t guarantee it.”
Ben gripped my hand, softly. Meanwhile, Mark frowned.
“Uhm, not to be a spoilsport, but guinea pig? If he survives? Do you really plan to do human testing?”
I shrugged.
“It can’t be helped. It has to be an active, sapient brain that this device is tested on. So no rats, no research clones. But on the other hand, I would barely describe Frankel as human.”
Natalie and Christine broke into laughter, with Natalie saying to Mark:
“Oh yes, Frankel is… expendable.”
Mark had the courtesy to blush.
“Oh, ok, yes I can understand that nobody would really care if he died. But I am still concerned about the principle. Human testing is… just wrong.”
“As I said, can’t be helped. Animal brains don’t emanate the energy that Darren receives. Braindead research clones don’t emanate anything as they are, well braindead. The only thing we can do is computer simulations. I’ve done them already and they say it is safe and works. Leaves the final test.”
Ben interjected.
“And what do you plan to do after that?”
I let my shoulders slump before I lifted my hands in helpless confusion.
“That’s the question. I have no idea. Just… no thinking.”
“What did you do before when you needed to unwind?”
I shrugged.
“It has never been that bad. Usually some light studying, or a bit of nano-bot design. But now? I don’t think I am in the position for anything of that.”
“Have you thought about doing something creative? Like art? Or music?”
I stopped with the croissant halfway to my mouth and looked at him.
“Uh… no? I… uh sorry but I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
He chuckled softly.
“Is there a better time to start it than now?”
“I don’t know. Why do you think I should?”
“Remember what you told me about why you like cooking? I would say the same can be said about art or music. With the added bonus that it would give you an outlet for your emotions.”
When I frowned, thinking about it, he caressed my cheek.
“Hey, you don’t have to. I just thought it might suit you. You could as well match a movie or two, or binge on some series. Or it would probably fit you better to read some books.”
“It is not that. I just have no clue where to even start. Doesn’t it take quite some time to get even adequate at that?”
“So what? You have the time. It might be something to develop anyway. As you’ve just realized, science is not always the best answer.”
I took a deep breath.
“I’ll look into it. But… I’ll look into it. I can at least try. Where do I get the… instruments? Or materials? I have absolutely no clue.”
“You’ll figure something out, I’m sure. You could get some VR course before you clutter your home with stuff you don’t like.”
I frowned harder this time.
“Urgh. I did not want to go into VR for some time.”
“As you wish. I would suggest you come with me for the weekend anyway. In a couple of days, you will see clearer I think.”
“I had planned something like that anyway.”
After that, the conversation at the table lost any debth, as we all avoided anything meaningful.
Finally sated, I waited until the rest were finished as well before I stood up, letting the bots clean up the table.
Another bot brought Frankel into the new bio lab, where it injected him with BOU-nanites, generating a baseline. Meanwhile, I had another bot bring the two devices I had the NADA make to the bio lab.
“Well, Darren, Frankel is now in the bio lab getting the baseline from the BOU. I will remain on this side of the building and would suggest the rest of us do so as well.
If you would be so friendly to go there, and when I com you, put the device that is formed into a blue six-winged angel figure around Frankel's neck?
I will observe his brain activity from here.”
Darren nodded.
“Not that I can’t do that, but why do you want me to go alone?”
“To prevent any interference from any of us. If you are with only Frankel in range, I think you can ascertain the impact of the device easier.”
“Hm, yes, that… sounds right.”
When he reached the bio lab, where a restrained Frankel was seething silently, I had enough of a baseline, that I could signal him to put on the device immediately.
I observed Frankel’s brain activity carefully, but there was no change in it.
“Darren, can you hear Frankel’s thoughts?”
“No, I can’t. Not that I could hear them so strongly beforehand, but right now… nothing. Oh, and he is still alive. Obviously.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ok, that is good. That means the darn thing works.”
“Ok, do you want me to bring it to you?”
“Yes, please.”
When Darren got back, he had both devices in his hands.
“I assume that this one here” he lifted the one that formed a complex hexagonal pattern, “is the one for me?”
“Yes. Again, it should be safe.”
“And how is it powered?”
“The same as mine. Bodyheat. It takes surprisingly little amounts of energy”
I reached out for him to give me my angel choker.
“Now, it is unlikely that anything happens at this point, but that is not the same as impossible. So please, watch out.”
Saying that I put the choker around my own neck. I felt no discernable difference in myself and looked at Darren questioningly. He lifted an eyebrow.
“Well, it seems to work. I can’t hear you anymore at least.”
I slumped a bit, relief filling me.
“Then it was worth it, I think. I feel no difference. Warden, what do my brainwaves say?”
“In all aspects that I can measure, your brain is working within acceptable parameters.”
I sat down on the next chair.
“Well, that was that.”
Darren smiled.
“At least it is quite a bit quieter now. Now it’s my turn.”
I looked at him.
“Are you sure? As I said, I can’t guarantee that it doesn’t kill you.”
He gave me a crooked, sad smile.
“You have no idea what it means to live with this… noise in your head. I… you learn to live with it. But… to get rid of it, it is a dream for all Psionics, I can tell you that.”
With that, he placed the device around his own neck, just to look at me puzzled.
“It’s not working!”
I had to smile at that.
“You have to switch it on first. I thought it impractical for you to have to take it off any time you want to read somebodies mind. Turn the inner part of the pattern clockwise.”
He frowned for a bit, but when he did switch on the device, his eyes widened in shock.
At first, I was worried, and jumped up, to get to him quickly, but he just lifted his right hand to sign me to stop.
“No… no, it’s… it is working. It is… so quiet. I… oh my god, it is so quiet.”
And he fell on his knees and began to weep.
I looked around the room, unsure of what was going on. Did I somehow damage him?
“Darren, are you all right?” Ryan seemed to be much firmer in his actions right at that moment.
“Yes, yes. You… you can’t even begin to understand what this means to me. I… all this time, I… oh this blessed silence. I have never realized how much background noise there is.”
From what I could understand of Darren's sobbing explanation, it was nothing bad, but I still was insecure, wringing my hands.
I could not decide if I should switch the device off. He was… well at least it did not kill him, but the reaction was… bewildering.
After nearly a minute he jumped up, still with tears streaming out of his eyes, and grabbed me into a tight hug.
“Thank you! Thank you! What you have given me… it is priceless.”
I now felt some panic growing inside me. That was not the cool, collected Darren I knew. What the heck had I done?
“Darren? Are you all right? You are… acting so strange.”
“Yes, yes I am all right. And… you can’t feel how much relief I am feeling right now. It is… all these years, as long as I can remember, always there was this low droning in the background. Even among Psionics, it was there. It was too low, too quiet to understand, but always there, always in my mind.
Until now. I… you can’t imagine what it means for me to have this silence.”
“So… it is not messing with your mind?”
“No, it is not. It is just freeing me.”
I had meanwhile managed to extricate myself from his grip, and he had chosen his next victim, namely Ryan.
“Well, that is good. But… we have to test if you can switch it off again.”
He slumped, let go of Ryan, and turned slowly towards me.
“Do we have to? Really?”
I nodded, solemnly.
“Yes, I fear we have to. You might need the ability sometime in the future. And we don’t know what abilities it also blocks.”
He sighed.
“Yes, you are right. I still don’t want to. Well, here goes…”
And he switched it off, instantly tensioning up.
“O…k. Switching it off works. The only one I can’t hear even a tiny bit is you. Now can I switch it back on, please?”
“One moment. Warden, what do the brainwaves say?”
“There was no change to Darren’s brainwaves between activated and deactivated device.”
I nodded.
“Ok, that is fine then. You can activate it.”
The next morning, my body felt mostly fine. The increased resilience of the Pure, further enhanced by my being a K4 ensured that at least.
It still had taken a bit over nine hours of sleep to get to that point, and I had a craving for a good breakfast.
But physically I was fully recovered.
The same could not be said about my mental condition. I could not say that I ever enjoyed these kinds of marathon sessions, but I have to say, this time it was worse than ever.
That had several reasons of course.
The easier to understand one is probably that I previously was limited to less than 60:1 compression.
Or one day in real-time translating to 57 in cyberspace. With a limit of six days at once, that left me at a bit over 11 months in cyberspace time.
With Glory, I had 240:1. More than four times as much. Even in the roughly 2½ days in real time it took me to solve the problem, for me, it was more like more than a year and a half.
580 days of non-stop concentration, without sleep, without eating, without anything but banging my head against the most complex piece of math I knew, trying to decipher the meaning of this arcane equation.
I was a bit surprised that I had not given up and taken a break. And you can believe me, I was tempted. Sorely tempted.
But more surprising to me was that I actually missed the interaction with the others. Not everybody to the same extent, and in all honesty, I couldn’t care less if I never saw Mia again, but yes, it was the isolation that was the hardest.
But the early successes, when I got the theoretical possibility of the quantum field from the equation made me soldier on.
I knew I was on to something, and when my BOUs identified the quantum field in question I was vindicated.
The design of the two devices was, well it was a slog, and I forced myself through it, and now it was, hopefully, mostly over but the crying.
I sent an invitation to Ben for breakfast, when I began preparing it, and I felt quite warm in my chest when he agreed.
The others came to the table, looking at the spread I had prepared somewhat in shock. Ok, maybe I have gone a bit overboard. So what? I had more than a year, subjective, to build up an appetite. And yes, I know I could have manifested simulated food in cyberspace.
But despite the realism, it is just not the same. I could not explain why, but it just isn’t. Not that that prevented me from snacking now and then, to keep myself somewhat sane. Or at least close enough to sane to play it on tv.
And then Ben arrived and without even realizing it I found myself in his arms.
“I missed that. I missed you.” Yes, I was blubbering, as my vision blurred. It just felt so… right.
He just held me for a few moments, without saying anything, only giving me a soft kiss on the top of my head.
Finally, he let go of the hug and just held my shoulders.
“You look calmer than the last time I saw you. Have you been successful? Was it worth it?”
I slowly nodded. “I feel calmer. I had more than a year and a half to get over it. And I think so. I’ll have to test it of course. But… well, if it doesn’t work I’ll have to go at it at a later time.”
He stared into my eyes intensely.
“At a later time? You want to do this again?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“No, never again. Never such a… session again. It was… I can’t describe how awful it was.”
He softly led me towards the table.
“If it was so bad, why did you not come out earlier?”
I sighed.
“I… I think it was mostly my pride. I thought I had to do it. Now, looking back, I would say I was wrong. But in there, I just wanted it to be done and over with.”
We both sat down, while the rest of the group here, and Ben’s guards as well, began to eat.
Darren was barely able to keep calm. We all could see the nervous energy in every movement he made. In the end, he could no longer stay silent.
“You said you have something? What… do you have any idea how it works?”
I let out a long breath, centering my thoughts.
“Yes, I have something. And no, I won’t talk about it now. I… well, I will finish the tests, but otherwise, I’ll not do anything of importance for the next few days.”
The Psionic’s face fell, but he nodded.
“I think I understand. I have to say I’ve never seen you that… muted is the best I can say.”
We looked at each other in silence.
Of course, that was the moment Mia absolutely had to put in her two cents.
“What, just because you lazed around for more than two days you are now entitled to more rest? Just like that?”
I… normally I would at least react a bit peeved to that, but right at this moment, I could not muster the energy to do that.
“I would suggest you refrain from commenting on things you don’t understand. It prevents the appearance of not being an idiot.”
Sadly, Mia was not deterred.
“You are just lazy. We all have our cross to bear. You are nothing special. So why do you have the right to take a time out?”
“I assume what you have to do is study the course on implant surgery I’ve given to you? Well, I already did that. More than a year ago.
Or do you allude to earning money?
Over the last couple of days, I’ve sold more than $5 billion worth of cyberware. Considering that I’ve already had more than that before I’ve come to NYC, I would say that earning more money is… of lesser import to me.
So, if I want to take off for a year, I will take off for a year. I can afford to take off for a century.
A bit of careful investing and I will never have to work again. Unlike you, I’ve already earned my spurs.”
I think what pushed her back the most was the way I said it. Cool, collected, calm, and without even the slightest hints of anger or resentment. Just matter of fact.
Oh, and of course the fact that I did not even look at her, but instead continued to butter my croissant.
Christine interjected at this point:
“While I don’t agree with Mia, and yes, you have earned your rest, why do you think you need it? Not to accuse you but I want to understand.”
I sighed.
“I was in cyberspace for nearly 58 hours, in real-time. I have a compression of 240:1. Simple multiplication gives us the point that I have spent nearly 14 thousand hours of subjective time there. Or one year, seven months, four days, and 18 hours.
Physically I might have even gone longer. I did have a six-day stint in cyberspace once, after all.
But it is… hard to concentrate for 14 thousand hours on something. Without rest. I am at my limit right now. I will do the final tests of what I developed, but only because that is a trivial task.”
Darren spoke in a soft voice:
“You did not need to torture yourself that bad for my problems.”
“I did it for myself as much as for your problems. I could have simply thrown you out of the house if all I wanted was to prevent you from reading my mind.”
Most of the others welled up into exclamations of protest. In response, I lifted my hand and sighed.
“ You notice that he is still here? In other words, I haven’t thrown him out. So, you can stop your protests. I just told him of the alternative that would have solved my problem.” th
Darren nodded.
“Yeah, I understand that. I… honestly, I half expected it. So what will you do now?”
“Well, for one I will have you supervise our guinea pig during the tests. And Warden. There are only two factors. One, either he survives the test unharmed and with his mind still working, or not. If he does, either the device stops Darren from reading his mind, or not.
One ‘or not’ and I will have to try again. But later and more measured. If it works, fine. Then I have something stopping Psionics from reading my mind. Then you will have to decide if you want to risk the second device.”
He tilted his head questioningly.
“Second device?”
“Yes. The first device stops somebody from sending. The second one stops somebody from receiving. But only a Psionic can test the second one. So it is your decision. I think it should be harmless, but I can’t guarantee it.”
Ben gripped my hand, softly. Meanwhile, Mark frowned.
“Uhm, not to be a spoilsport, but guinea pig? If he survives? Do you really plan to do human testing?”
I shrugged.
“It can’t be helped. It has to be an active, sapient brain that this device is tested on. So no rats, no research clones. But on the other hand, I would barely describe Frankel as human.”
Natalie and Christine broke into laughter, with Natalie saying to Mark:
“Oh yes, Frankel is… expendable.”
Mark had the courtesy to blush.
“Oh, ok, yes I can understand that nobody would really care if he died. But I am still concerned about the principle. Human testing is… just wrong.”
“As I said, can’t be helped. Animal brains don’t emanate the energy that Darren receives. Braindead research clones don’t emanate anything as they are, well braindead. The only thing we can do is computer simulations. I’ve done them already and they say it is safe and works. Leaves the final test.”
Ben interjected.
“And what do you plan to do after that?”
I let my shoulders slump before I lifted my hands in helpless confusion.
“That’s the question. I have no idea. Just… no thinking.”
“What did you do before when you needed to unwind?”
I shrugged.
“It has never been that bad. Usually some light studying, or a bit of nano-bot design. But now? I don’t think I am in the position for anything of that.”
“Have you thought about doing something creative? Like art? Or music?”
I stopped with the croissant halfway to my mouth and looked at him.
“Uh… no? I… uh sorry but I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
He chuckled softly.
“Is there a better time to start it than now?”
“I don’t know. Why do you think I should?”
“Remember what you told me about why you like cooking? I would say the same can be said about art or music. With the added bonus that it would give you an outlet for your emotions.”
When I frowned, thinking about it, he caressed my cheek.
“Hey, you don’t have to. I just thought it might suit you. You could as well match a movie or two, or binge on some series. Or it would probably fit you better to read some books.”
“It is not that. I just have no clue where to even start. Doesn’t it take quite some time to get even adequate at that?”
“So what? You have the time. It might be something to develop anyway. As you’ve just realized, science is not always the best answer.”
I took a deep breath.
“I’ll look into it. But… I’ll look into it. I can at least try. Where do I get the… instruments? Or materials? I have absolutely no clue.”
“You’ll figure something out, I’m sure. You could get some VR course before you clutter your home with stuff you don’t like.”
I frowned harder this time.
“Urgh. I did not want to go into VR for some time.”
“As you wish. I would suggest you come with me for the weekend anyway. In a couple of days, you will see clearer I think.”
“I had planned something like that anyway.”
After that, the conversation at the table lost any debth, as we all avoided anything meaningful.
Finally sated, I waited until the rest were finished as well before I stood up, letting the bots clean up the table.
Another bot brought Frankel into the new bio lab, where it injected him with BOU-nanites, generating a baseline. Meanwhile, I had another bot bring the two devices I had the NADA make to the bio lab.
“Well, Darren, Frankel is now in the bio lab getting the baseline from the BOU. I will remain on this side of the building and would suggest the rest of us do so as well.
If you would be so friendly to go there, and when I com you, put the device that is formed into a blue six-winged angel figure around Frankel's neck?
I will observe his brain activity from here.”
Darren nodded.
“Not that I can’t do that, but why do you want me to go alone?”
“To prevent any interference from any of us. If you are with only Frankel in range, I think you can ascertain the impact of the device easier.”
“Hm, yes, that… sounds right.”
When he reached the bio lab, where a restrained Frankel was seething silently, I had enough of a baseline, that I could signal him to put on the device immediately.
I observed Frankel’s brain activity carefully, but there was no change in it.
“Darren, can you hear Frankel’s thoughts?”
“No, I can’t. Not that I could hear them so strongly beforehand, but right now… nothing. Oh, and he is still alive. Obviously.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ok, that is good. That means the darn thing works.”
“Ok, do you want me to bring it to you?”
“Yes, please.”
When Darren got back, he had both devices in his hands.
“I assume that this one here” he lifted the one that formed a complex hexagonal pattern, “is the one for me?”
“Yes. Again, it should be safe.”
“And how is it powered?”
“The same as mine. Bodyheat. It takes surprisingly little amounts of energy”
I reached out for him to give me my angel choker.
“Now, it is unlikely that anything happens at this point, but that is not the same as impossible. So please, watch out.”
Saying that I put the choker around my own neck. I felt no discernable difference in myself and looked at Darren questioningly. He lifted an eyebrow.
“Well, it seems to work. I can’t hear you anymore at least.”
I slumped a bit, relief filling me.
“Then it was worth it, I think. I feel no difference. Warden, what do my brainwaves say?”
“In all aspects that I can measure, your brain is working within acceptable parameters.”
I sat down on the next chair.
“Well, that was that.”
Darren smiled.
“At least it is quite a bit quieter now. Now it’s my turn.”
I looked at him.
“Are you sure? As I said, I can’t guarantee that it doesn’t kill you.”
He gave me a crooked, sad smile.
“You have no idea what it means to live with this… noise in your head. I… you learn to live with it. But… to get rid of it, it is a dream for all Psionics, I can tell you that.”
With that, he placed the device around his own neck, just to look at me puzzled.
“It’s not working!”
I had to smile at that.
“You have to switch it on first. I thought it impractical for you to have to take it off any time you want to read somebodies mind. Turn the inner part of the pattern clockwise.”
He frowned for a bit, but when he did switch on the device, his eyes widened in shock.
At first, I was worried, and jumped up, to get to him quickly, but he just lifted his right hand to sign me to stop.
“No… no, it’s… it is working. It is… so quiet. I… oh my god, it is so quiet.”
And he fell on his knees and began to weep.
I looked around the room, unsure of what was going on. Did I somehow damage him?
“Darren, are you all right?” Ryan seemed to be much firmer in his actions right at that moment.
“Yes, yes. You… you can’t even begin to understand what this means to me. I… all this time, I… oh this blessed silence. I have never realized how much background noise there is.”
From what I could understand of Darren's sobbing explanation, it was nothing bad, but I still was insecure, wringing my hands.
I could not decide if I should switch the device off. He was… well at least it did not kill him, but the reaction was… bewildering.
After nearly a minute he jumped up, still with tears streaming out of his eyes, and grabbed me into a tight hug.
“Thank you! Thank you! What you have given me… it is priceless.”
I now felt some panic growing inside me. That was not the cool, collected Darren I knew. What the heck had I done?
“Darren? Are you all right? You are… acting so strange.”
“Yes, yes I am all right. And… you can’t feel how much relief I am feeling right now. It is… all these years, as long as I can remember, always there was this low droning in the background. Even among Psionics, it was there. It was too low, too quiet to understand, but always there, always in my mind.
Until now. I… you can’t imagine what it means for me to have this silence.”
“So… it is not messing with your mind?”
“No, it is not. It is just freeing me.”
I had meanwhile managed to extricate myself from his grip, and he had chosen his next victim, namely Ryan.
“Well, that is good. But… we have to test if you can switch it off again.”
He slumped, let go of Ryan, and turned slowly towards me.
“Do we have to? Really?”
I nodded, solemnly.
“Yes, I fear we have to. You might need the ability sometime in the future. And we don’t know what abilities it also blocks.”
He sighed.
“Yes, you are right. I still don’t want to. Well, here goes…”
And he switched it off, instantly tensioning up.
“O…k. Switching it off works. The only one I can’t hear even a tiny bit is you. Now can I switch it back on, please?”
“One moment. Warden, what do the brainwaves say?”
“There was no change to Darren’s brainwaves between activated and deactivated device.”
I nodded.
“Ok, that is fine then. You can activate it.”
