Chapter 63: Back To The Drawing Board
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She put it out there, whether he wanted to hear to hear it or not, she had to say it. Allowing herself to debased all in attempt to alleviate the guilt she was carrying over actions that were not of her own doing was not in line with what she wanted.
She waited for him to ask her why but he didn't and his silence caused a drop of unease to grow inside of her.
His eyes were still on her, looking at her, studying her and digging into her like a sharp hoe digging into the ground. She felt the need to further explain herself and she did so eloquently.
"I spontaneously made the decision to initiate the physical relationship once because I wanted you to have your literal pound of flesh. I want you to stop hating me because if we cannot divorce then we are stuck with each other for life and in this world life is about three hundred years.
That is a long time to spend hating someone. I cannot spend three hundred years of my life playing chicken with you and worrying that Justin will be hurt along the way. But I also cannot be just another warm cheap body that you use to relieve your sexual urges whenever you want and then thrown to the side as soon as you are finished."
Bravely, she looked into his eyes and she told him, "I used to hate myself Esong, in the past. I hated myself and I was desperate for something that even I did not understand which is why that thing happened. But all that has changed, I have been treated and I am in a better place right now and I can't go back to the way I used to be. I am a better person, a better woman, daughter and mother. Our son is thriving now because of the person I have become. I cannot go back to being her Esong, that woman that sinned against you is dead and gone and she is never coming back. If you insist on doing things this way and I accept blindly then I am afraid that I might go back to that dark place.
For this reason and many others I need us to go back to the drawing table and come up with another solution. One that will make life better for the three of us. This is not just about me and you, we have to keep Justin in mind."
She had to make sure that he understood because if he used her in every way that he wanted and then threw her away, then how long would it take before she really did start hating herself?
This was her second chance at life and she intended to live happily. Her past life went to shit at the age of sixteen when the zombie apocalypse started and it ended at twenty eight at the hands of a man that she thought would marry her. It was a short life that was with a short lived happiness and then it was full of pain, sorrow and misery.
They were flying!!! well, she was flying high in the sky and she was not in a space ship. Even though she had seen him do it, she was different from him.
Was he going to drop her down and watch her body splatter on the ground like a ripe tomato being squashed under a foot?
"Esong, take me back." she screamed.
"Not yet." he answered. "I need you to understand something. You have been talking about how you feel and I thought that perhaps you needed to understand how hard things were for me after what you did. The two of us need to go back to the drawing board and it should be perfectly fair for both of us."
He pressed something on the helmet and she suddenly found herself transported somewhere else. She was alone in space without him and she could see hundreds of animals and birds of all shapes and size surrounding her on every side.
The difference between these ones and normal animals was their size, the intelligence and the hostility in their eyes.
"Mutated beasts." she said.
Suddenly, out of nowhere she was decked in armor and she had weapons in her hands. Behind her were teammates whos also appeared out of nowhere.
"General, what should we do? We are out numbered." one of the teammates told her.
In the back of her mind she had it that this was not real because she was not a general and she had fought mutated beasts before. It had to be a simulation of some kind and yet it felt too real.
But when the beasts attacked, she erased all doubt from her mind and she fought with all her might, leading her teammates into the battle fearlessly. You can trace the roots of this content at n0v@lbin
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She put it out there, whether he wanted to hear to hear it or not, she had to say it. Allowing herself to debased all in attempt to alleviate the guilt she was carrying over actions that were not of her own doing was not in line with what she wanted.
She waited for him to ask her why but he didn't and his silence caused a drop of unease to grow inside of her.
His eyes were still on her, looking at her, studying her and digging into her like a sharp hoe digging into the ground. She felt the need to further explain herself and she did so eloquently.
"I spontaneously made the decision to initiate the physical relationship once because I wanted you to have your literal pound of flesh. I want you to stop hating me because if we cannot divorce then we are stuck with each other for life and in this world life is about three hundred years.
That is a long time to spend hating someone. I cannot spend three hundred years of my life playing chicken with you and worrying that Justin will be hurt along the way. But I also cannot be just another warm cheap body that you use to relieve your sexual urges whenever you want and then thrown to the side as soon as you are finished."
Bravely, she looked into his eyes and she told him, "I used to hate myself Esong, in the past. I hated myself and I was desperate for something that even I did not understand which is why that thing happened. But all that has changed, I have been treated and I am in a better place right now and I can't go back to the way I used to be. I am a better person, a better woman, daughter and mother. Our son is thriving now because of the person I have become. I cannot go back to being her Esong, that woman that sinned against you is dead and gone and she is never coming back. If you insist on doing things this way and I accept blindly then I am afraid that I might go back to that dark place.
For this reason and many others I need us to go back to the drawing table and come up with another solution. One that will make life better for the three of us. This is not just about me and you, we have to keep Justin in mind."
She had to make sure that he understood because if he used her in every way that he wanted and then threw her away, then how long would it take before she really did start hating herself?
This was her second chance at life and she intended to live happily. Her past life went to shit at the age of sixteen when the zombie apocalypse started and it ended at twenty eight at the hands of a man that she thought would marry her. It was a short life that was with a short lived happiness and then it was full of pain, sorrow and misery.
They were flying!!! well, she was flying high in the sky and she was not in a space ship. Even though she had seen him do it, she was different from him.
Was he going to drop her down and watch her body splatter on the ground like a ripe tomato being squashed under a foot?
"Esong, take me back." she screamed.
"Not yet." he answered. "I need you to understand something. You have been talking about how you feel and I thought that perhaps you needed to understand how hard things were for me after what you did. The two of us need to go back to the drawing board and it should be perfectly fair for both of us."
He pressed something on the helmet and she suddenly found herself transported somewhere else. She was alone in space without him and she could see hundreds of animals and birds of all shapes and size surrounding her on every side.
The difference between these ones and normal animals was their size, the intelligence and the hostility in their eyes.
"Mutated beasts." she said.
Suddenly, out of nowhere she was decked in armor and she had weapons in her hands. Behind her were teammates whos also appeared out of nowhere.
"General, what should we do? We are out numbered." one of the teammates told her.
In the back of her mind she had it that this was not real because she was not a general and she had fought mutated beasts before. It had to be a simulation of some kind and yet it felt too real.
But when the beasts attacked, she erased all doubt from her mind and she fought with all her might, leading her teammates into the battle fearlessly. You can trace the roots of this content at n0v@lbin
She put it out there, whether he wanted to hear to hear it or not, she had to say it. Allowing herself to debased all in attempt to alleviate the guilt she was carrying over actions that were not of her own doing was not in line with what she wanted. She waited for him to ask her why but he didn't and his silence caused a drop of unease to grow inside of her. His eyes were still on her, looking at her, studying her and digging into her like a sharp hoe digging into the ground. She felt the need to further explain herself and she did so eloquently. "I spontaneously made the decision to initiate the physical relationship once because I wanted you to have your literal pound of flesh. I want you to stop hating me because if we cannot divorce then we are stuck with each other for life and in this world life is about three hundred years. That is a long time to spend hating someone. I cannot spend three hundred years of my life playing chicken with you and worrying that Justin will be hurt along the way. But I also cannot be just another warm cheap body that you use to relieve your sexual urges whenever you want and then thrown to the side as soon as you are finished." Bravely, she looked into his eyes and she told him, "I used to hate myself Esong, in the past. I hated myself and I was desperate for something that even I did not understand which is why that thing happened. But all that has changed, I have been treated and I am in a better place right now and I can't go back to the way I used to be. I am a better person, a better woman, daughter and mother. Our son is thriving now because of the person I have become. I cannot go back to being her Esong, that woman that sinned against you is dead and gone and she is never coming back. If you insist on doing things this way and I accept blindly then I am afraid that I might go back to that dark place.For this reason and many others I need us to go back to the drawing table and come up with another solution. One that will make life better for the three of us. This is not just about me and you, we have to keep Justin in mind."She had to make sure that he understood because if he used her in every way that he wanted and then threw her away, then how long would it take before she really did start hating herself? This was her second chance at life and she intended to live happily. Her past life went to shit at the age of sixteen when the zombie apocalypse started and it ended at twenty eight at the hands of a man that she thought would marry her. It was a short life that was with a short lived happiness and then it was full of pain, sorrow and misery.They were flying!!! well, she was flying high in the sky and she was not in a space ship. Even though she had seen him do it, she was different from him. Was he going to drop her down and watch her body splatter on the ground like a ripe tomato being squashed under a foot?"Esong, take me back." she screamed. "Not yet." he answered. "I need you to understand something. You have been talking about how you feel and I thought that perhaps you needed to understand how hard things were for me after what you did. The two of us need to go back to the drawing board and it should be perfectly fair for both of us." He pressed something on the helmet and she suddenly found herself transported somewhere else. She was alone in space without him and she could see hundreds of animals and birds of all shapes and size surrounding her on every side. The difference between these ones and normal animals was their size, the intelligence and the hostility in their eyes. "Mutated beasts." she said. Suddenly, out of nowhere she was decked in armor and she had weapons in her hands. Behind her were teammates whos also appeared out of nowhere. "General, what should we do? We are out numbered." one of the teammates told her.In the back of her mind she had it that this was not real because she was not a general and she had fought mutated beasts before. It had to be a simulation of some kind and yet it felt too real.But when the beasts attacked, she erased all doubt from her mind and she fought with all her might, leading her teammates into the battle fearlessly. You can trace the roots of this content at n0v@lbin
