On the second day of working on her sixth floor, Xenia Worthy rested. Taking breaks and properly pacing yourself was an important part of being a dungeon master, particularly given that Xenia never physically needed to sleep. If she didn't remember to stop and smell the roses every now and then, her life would just be work, work, work, and where was the fun in being a murder hole if you didn't take the time to enjoy yourself?
Of course, what she was smelling at the moment wasn't 'roses' so much as it was 'dragonet nests'. The roosts for the tiny flying reptiles had been built higher up on the cliffside than the rest of the 'floor', and it was unlikely most Challengers would ever get up here. There were just enough handholds for a determined climber to make their way up, if they wanted to fight the monsters on their home turf, but odds were most adventurers would just shoot arrows or spells at the creatures and call it a day. In any case, at the moment Xenia was simply reclining on something approximating a beach chair, enjoying the sight of the empty blackness before her, and watching as Lollyp played with a few of the monsters by her side.
"Thinking of taking on a pet, Lolly Pop?"
Lollyp grins as a tiny dragon attempts to gnaw on the thickened membrane of one of her fingers. "I don't think you get how cool this is, Xen. Dragons! Tiny little baby dragons! I mean...okay, yeah, dragonets are technically a different species and not babies, or whatever, but...baby dragons!"
Xenia chuckles. "What, not a bunch of those all over the place down in the Domain?"
"Are you kidding!? Any sort of dragon-type species is rare to find, even the draconics are the smallest part of the citizenry. Bigger species live out in isolated caves, and dragonets tend to hide away on mountaintops and that. And even if you did find some, they'd either fly away or try to kill you. Getting to play with some? This is like a little slime drop's dream come true!" The grin on Lollyp's face only flickers for a second as the dragonet currently being played with successfully chews off her fingertip, although it spits the slime out a moment later, allowing her to quickly re-absorb it. "...Okay, for a certain definition of 'play with'."
"Well, if you want a pet, you're responsible for taking it for walks and cleaning up after it." The dungeon master stops to think for a moment. "...Actually I guess dungeon monsters make pretty good pets, given they don't actually...poop. Or eat."
"Heh, trying to keep one in my apartment might still get a little annoying though, especially with all the chemicals. An occasional shortcut portal down here would be nice, though." She stops to follow Xenia's gaze as the woman stares out into nothing. "So how do you feel about the floor so far?"
"Well, I'm doing my best to think of it all as being a bunch of 'rooms', even though there's no doors, or walls or anything. Sub-challenges, right? First, we start off with a bit of platform jumping, while folks are still getting used to being out here, and adjusting to their...height-o-phobia, or whatever that's called. Then we go back into the cliffside for a bit to do some monster fights, then back out for some more platforms plus a few traps, then back into a monster arena, and so on. I'm liking the dragonets for the climbing and jumping bits, they're weak but it's a great time for them to try and attack. The rest, though..."
"Oh? What about the rest?"
Xenia grumbles. "Just can't decide what to do for the bigger beasties. Our heavy-hitter types are undead, slimes, and rabbits, but nothing really feels right, and I don't want to just keep repeating myself."
"Well, it's been a while since you crossbred something new. How about that?"
Xenia raises an eyebrow as she looks over to the slime. "Not a bad idea, but what? We could try those three some more and see what happens, but we've already got mixes of all of em."
Lollyp's eyes go wide. "How about...undead dragons! Our dragon tier might only be F, but since crossbreeding averages things out a bit, we could probably get at least a high D, maybe a C-tier. And for a dragon-type? I bet a C-tier would be really something."
"Now there's an idea. Good work Lolly Pop, you get a raise."
"Gee, thanks." Putting the dragonet back into its nest, Lollyp makes her way over and slides into Xenia's reclined lap, resting her face a few inches from Xenia's with a wide grin. "Do I get to redeem that in sexual favors like usual?"
"Haha, sure thing, but later, I'm on break!" She does take a slight break from her break, however, to begin massaging the back of the slime lying on her torso. After a few minutes of that, a new topic comes to her mind.
"There is...one other thing I been thinking about though, to be honest?"
"Oh, what's that? Don't stop though, right there..."
Xenia narrows her eyes. "If you're turning your shoulders into erogenous zones again I'm gonna roll you off the edge. Nah, it's just...I'm thinking about bosses, and stuff."
"You don't think a big skeleton dragon would make for a cool boss?"
"Oh, it would, no doubt. It's just that, well...boss slots are limited, and..." She sighs. "Part of me really wishes I'd let Cerise, you know...'sign up'. Not that I exactly know her that well or anything, but she seems pretty smart, and tough. Woulda made a pretty cool addition to the team."
"I don't really know her any better than you do, but I can't disagree. Still, I dunno if she would've been happy here, you know?"
Xenia nods. "Yeah, she's got life plans and ambitions for sure. Besides, eventually she would have probably figured out that I could have let her out of there, and, woo, having to spend eternity with someone who has a grudge against me does not sound like a good time."
"But you're worried about how to set up your next boss without her, or something?" Lollyp rolls herself around so that the hands previously massaging her back are now massaging her breasts, but a distracted Xenia doesn't seem to notice.
"Not necessarily her, specifically. But now that our secret's out, I feel bad if I use up more of our boss slots on 'normal' ensouled bosses. At the same time though, I don't want a floor to just not have a boss while we're waiting for a good candidate to swing by. I mean, who knows when that could be? Could be tomorrow, could take a year from now."
"Do we wanna set up some sort of tryouts, like that Paladin mentioned the other day? Could draw attention and filter out the losers at the same time."
"Maybe? Where would we'd even set that up, though? It's hard to turn a floor into more of a test than they already are, but even then they only test for like, combat skills and shit and not how chill they are or anything like that."
Lollyp counts off on her fingers. "Day one hundred is...three days away? We'll probably be getting another inspection within a week or so, and there's a chance the Church might send a rep like you suggested."
Xenia looks down to meet her friend's eyes, which are currently looking back up at her, upside-down. "Wait, you're not suggesting getting Alizz involved, are you? I don't know if she'd be happy with a job like that. ...Also, lewd." She bats out a rhythm on Lollyp's tits with her palms, making the slime yelp.
"Ah! Meanie! And I was talking about the Church! They've got the organization for dealing with a lot of people, and they can test for both, like, combat skills and basic ethics or whatever. Also maybe give them a proper round of therapy to make sure applicants aren't just suicidal, you know?"
Xenia considers the thought for a moment and nods, all while using her hands to playfully torture the slime in various ways. "Yeah, if they'd be up for it, it might be a good job for them. Hey, y'know what we should do? Dungeon exchange program! Could set up an apartment or two in here and have one or two of em live here for a couple days, to see what it's like. Then they can give better advice to folks coming by. Way more efficient than having them come by here every time they've got a question or two."
"That...could work. ...Any chance you might ask that Paladin to volunteer?" Lollyp looks up at Xenia hopefully, and Xenia smirks back.
"I'll give it some serious consideration..."
Alizz glances over the top of the printed letter in her hand, to look Bountiful Mother Hammerdown in the eye as she answers the woman. "This request is literally just the same thing you asked me yesterday. You know my hearing's just fine, right? I may not be an elf, but I heard you the first time."
The dwarf sitting on the opposite side of her office desk waggles a hand. "Yeah, yeah, but I know bureaucracies like to have paper records of such things. Also, you didn't give me the right answer yesterday, an' I was thinking maybe you'd like it more if you read it. You seem like the book-worm type."
The drider's eyes narrow as she stares at the cleric through her glasses. "Alright, allow me to give you the longer version of my answer from yesterday, since you went through all this trouble. The Challenger's Association cannot be seen to be biased towards or against any of the officially recognized churches. There's dozens of religious organizations for us to balance our dealings with, and just registering Clerics and Priestesses and so on for our class programs is fraught enough as it is. I cannot make Church officials a part of a dungeon inspection team."
The normally-cheerful Mother scowls slightly. "An' why in the blazing hells can't you? We're not just randomly wanderin' around, demanding to have oversight over some strange dungeon we found. This dungeon is blessed by one of our divine patrons! Furthermore, it was the dungeon's idea that we work with you lot! I know I'm not familiar with all the dungeon administration paperwork and all that, but it seems like it'd be foolish for us not to work together."
Alizz tilts her head. "Wait, this was Xenia's - the dungeon's idea? I don't recall you mentioning that part before."
"You said no before I got that far! Also...Xenia, is it? Interesting name, there."
Sighing, the Field Agent rubs her head. "Dammit. It's...not a secret, exactly. We're just supposed to avoid using the names of dungeon spirits, if we know them. We're supposed to remain...impartial and unbiased, and not form personal relationships. Not supposed to think of them as people at all, really. Even the smartest and most sociable ones still live off the corpses of our membership, and we need to remember that our Challengers come first on our priority list." She pauses to look out through a window that faces the mountain a few miles away. "Xenia makes that...unusually difficult, sometimes."
"Having reincarnated bosses to speak for her will do that, I suppose. Look, the dungeon - Xenia - offered us a compromise. She don't just want to hand out free passes, but she wants to be on decent terms, too. If we send a couple reps with your party though, then it ain't like there's any extra parties romping through, and hey, you get to keep an eye on us, even learn the same things we learn. And there is more to learn, I'd bet my buckle on it."
Alizz glances down, taking a quick look at the golden belt buckle the Bountiful Mother wears. It's elaborately carved with the womb-like rune of Kahlia, and it does look quite fancy. "I suppose there's something to that. Theology's not really my department, and it's possible there's questions in that regard I wouldn't think to ask. Still...well, I'll allow it, but only because Xenia requested it. Dealing with her is unusually complex, and I'd like to stay on her good side. Who were you thinking of sending with us? Yourself?"
The dwarf shakes her head. "No, as much as I'd like to. I already have too many responsibilities, and it'd be foolish of me not to delegate. Forst and Bootpebble are just contractors, so wouldn't do to send them, either. Would you allow Verdant Priestess Fullblossom, to represent the clergy, and Paladin of Bounty Bluehair as her escort?"
The Agent briefly glances at a few sheets containing the profiles of the Church's expedition party. "Would give our party two heavies, but that's not such a problem, and six members isn't too unwieldy. Our next inspection trip is scheduled for four days from now, would that suit you?"
"Aye, that'd suit. Shall I send the two your way, for some inter-party training? Make sure no one stumbles on each other's toes or nothing like that?"
"A good idea. Here's hoping we have a positive and fruitful trip, without too many surprises..."
She pauses for a moment and adds an addendum. "Somehow I doubt it, though."
On the second day of working on her sixth floor, Xenia Worthy rested. Taking breaks and properly pacing yourself was an important part of being a dungeon master, particularly given that Xenia never physically needed to sleep. If she didn't remember to stop and smell the roses every now and then, her life would just be work, work, work, and where was the fun in being a murder hole if you didn't take the time to enjoy yourself?
Of course, what she was smelling at the moment wasn't 'roses' so much as it was 'dragonet nests'. The roosts for the tiny flying reptiles had been built higher up on the cliffside than the rest of the 'floor', and it was unlikely most Challengers would ever get up here. There were just enough handholds for a determined climber to make their way up, if they wanted to fight the monsters on their home turf, but odds were most adventurers would just shoot arrows or spells at the creatures and call it a day. In any case, at the moment Xenia was simply reclining on something approximating a beach chair, enjoying the sight of the empty blackness before her, and watching as Lollyp played with a few of the monsters by her side.
"Thinking of taking on a pet, Lolly Pop?"
Lollyp grins as a tiny dragon attempts to gnaw on the thickened membrane of one of her fingers. "I don't think you get how cool this is, Xen. Dragons! Tiny little baby dragons! I mean...okay, yeah, dragonets are technically a different species and not babies, or whatever, but...baby dragons!"
Xenia chuckles. "What, not a bunch of those all over the place down in the Domain?"
"Are you kidding!? Any sort of dragon-type species is rare to find, even the draconics are the smallest part of the citizenry. Bigger species live out in isolated caves, and dragonets tend to hide away on mountaintops and that. And even if you did find some, they'd either fly away or try to kill you. Getting to play with some? This is like a little slime drop's dream come true!" The grin on Lollyp's face only flickers for a second as the dragonet currently being played with successfully chews off her fingertip, although it spits the slime out a moment later, allowing her to quickly re-absorb it. "...Okay, for a certain definition of 'play with'."
"Well, if you want a pet, you're responsible for taking it for walks and cleaning up after it." The dungeon master stops to think for a moment. "...Actually I guess dungeon monsters make pretty good pets, given they don't actually...poop. Or eat."
"Heh, trying to keep one in my apartment might still get a little annoying though, especially with all the chemicals. An occasional shortcut portal down here would be nice, though." She stops to follow Xenia's gaze as the woman stares out into nothing. "So how do you feel about the floor so far?"
"Well, I'm doing my best to think of it all as being a bunch of 'rooms', even though there's no doors, or walls or anything. Sub-challenges, right? First, we start off with a bit of platform jumping, while folks are still getting used to being out here, and adjusting to their...height-o-phobia, or whatever that's called. Then we go back into the cliffside for a bit to do some monster fights, then back out for some more platforms plus a few traps, then back into a monster arena, and so on. I'm liking the dragonets for the climbing and jumping bits, they're weak but it's a great time for them to try and attack. The rest, though..."
"Oh? What about the rest?"
Xenia grumbles. "Just can't decide what to do for the bigger beasties. Our heavy-hitter types are undead, slimes, and rabbits, but nothing really feels right, and I don't want to just keep repeating myself."
"Well, it's been a while since you crossbred something new. How about that?"
Xenia raises an eyebrow as she looks over to the slime. "Not a bad idea, but what? We could try those three some more and see what happens, but we've already got mixes of all of em."
Lollyp's eyes go wide. "How about...undead dragons! Our dragon tier might only be F, but since crossbreeding averages things out a bit, we could probably get at least a high D, maybe a C-tier. And for a dragon-type? I bet a C-tier would be really something."
"Now there's an idea. Good work Lolly Pop, you get a raise."
"Gee, thanks." Putting the dragonet back into its nest, Lollyp makes her way over and slides into Xenia's reclined lap, resting her face a few inches from Xenia's with a wide grin. "Do I get to redeem that in sexual favors like usual?"
"Haha, sure thing, but later, I'm on break!" She does take a slight break from her break, however, to begin massaging the back of the slime lying on her torso. After a few minutes of that, a new topic comes to her mind.
"There is...one other thing I been thinking about though, to be honest?"
"Oh, what's that? Don't stop though, right there..."
Xenia narrows her eyes. "If you're turning your shoulders into erogenous zones again I'm gonna roll you off the edge. Nah, it's just...I'm thinking about bosses, and stuff."
"You don't think a big skeleton dragon would make for a cool boss?"
"Oh, it would, no doubt. It's just that, well...boss slots are limited, and..." She sighs. "Part of me really wishes I'd let Cerise, you know...'sign up'. Not that I exactly know her that well or anything, but she seems pretty smart, and tough. Woulda made a pretty cool addition to the team."
"I don't really know her any better than you do, but I can't disagree. Still, I dunno if she would've been happy here, you know?"
Xenia nods. "Yeah, she's got life plans and ambitions for sure. Besides, eventually she would have probably figured out that I could have let her out of there, and, woo, having to spend eternity with someone who has a grudge against me does not sound like a good time."
"But you're worried about how to set up your next boss without her, or something?" Lollyp rolls herself around so that the hands previously massaging her back are now massaging her breasts, but a distracted Xenia doesn't seem to notice.
"Not necessarily her, specifically. But now that our secret's out, I feel bad if I use up more of our boss slots on 'normal' ensouled bosses. At the same time though, I don't want a floor to just not have a boss while we're waiting for a good candidate to swing by. I mean, who knows when that could be? Could be tomorrow, could take a year from now."
"Do we wanna set up some sort of tryouts, like that Paladin mentioned the other day? Could draw attention and filter out the losers at the same time."
"Maybe? Where would we'd even set that up, though? It's hard to turn a floor into more of a test than they already are, but even then they only test for like, combat skills and shit and not how chill they are or anything like that."
Lollyp counts off on her fingers. "Day one hundred is...three days away? We'll probably be getting another inspection within a week or so, and there's a chance the Church might send a rep like you suggested."
Xenia looks down to meet her friend's eyes, which are currently looking back up at her, upside-down. "Wait, you're not suggesting getting Alizz involved, are you? I don't know if she'd be happy with a job like that. ...Also, lewd." She bats out a rhythm on Lollyp's tits with her palms, making the slime yelp.
"Ah! Meanie! And I was talking about the Church! They've got the organization for dealing with a lot of people, and they can test for both, like, combat skills and basic ethics or whatever. Also maybe give them a proper round of therapy to make sure applicants aren't just suicidal, you know?"
Xenia considers the thought for a moment and nods, all while using her hands to playfully torture the slime in various ways. "Yeah, if they'd be up for it, it might be a good job for them. Hey, y'know what we should do? Dungeon exchange program! Could set up an apartment or two in here and have one or two of em live here for a couple days, to see what it's like. Then they can give better advice to folks coming by. Way more efficient than having them come by here every time they've got a question or two."
"That...could work. ...Any chance you might ask that Paladin to volunteer?" Lollyp looks up at Xenia hopefully, and Xenia smirks back.
"I'll give it some serious consideration..."
Alizz glances over the top of the printed letter in her hand, to look Bountiful Mother Hammerdown in the eye as she answers the woman. "This request is literally just the same thing you asked me yesterday. You know my hearing's just fine, right? I may not be an elf, but I heard you the first time."
The dwarf sitting on the opposite side of her office desk waggles a hand. "Yeah, yeah, but I know bureaucracies like to have paper records of such things. Also, you didn't give me the right answer yesterday, an' I was thinking maybe you'd like it more if you read it. You seem like the book-worm type."
The drider's eyes narrow as she stares at the cleric through her glasses. "Alright, allow me to give you the longer version of my answer from yesterday, since you went through all this trouble. The Challenger's Association cannot be seen to be biased towards or against any of the officially recognized churches. There's dozens of religious organizations for us to balance our dealings with, and just registering Clerics and Priestesses and so on for our class programs is fraught enough as it is. I cannot make Church officials a part of a dungeon inspection team."
The normally-cheerful Mother scowls slightly. "An' why in the blazing hells can't you? We're not just randomly wanderin' around, demanding to have oversight over some strange dungeon we found. This dungeon is blessed by one of our divine patrons! Furthermore, it was the dungeon's idea that we work with you lot! I know I'm not familiar with all the dungeon administration paperwork and all that, but it seems like it'd be foolish for us not to work together."
Alizz tilts her head. "Wait, this was Xenia's - the dungeon's idea? I don't recall you mentioning that part before."
"You said no before I got that far! Also...Xenia, is it? Interesting name, there."
Sighing, the Field Agent rubs her head. "Dammit. It's...not a secret, exactly. We're just supposed to avoid using the names of dungeon spirits, if we know them. We're supposed to remain...impartial and unbiased, and not form personal relationships. Not supposed to think of them as people at all, really. Even the smartest and most sociable ones still live off the corpses of our membership, and we need to remember that our Challengers come first on our priority list." She pauses to look out through a window that faces the mountain a few miles away. "Xenia makes that...unusually difficult, sometimes."
"Having reincarnated bosses to speak for her will do that, I suppose. Look, the dungeon - Xenia - offered us a compromise. She don't just want to hand out free passes, but she wants to be on decent terms, too. If we send a couple reps with your party though, then it ain't like there's any extra parties romping through, and hey, you get to keep an eye on us, even learn the same things we learn. And there is more to learn, I'd bet my buckle on it."
Alizz glances down, taking a quick look at the golden belt buckle the Bountiful Mother wears. It's elaborately carved with the womb-like rune of Kahlia, and it does look quite fancy. "I suppose there's something to that. Theology's not really my department, and it's possible there's questions in that regard I wouldn't think to ask. Still...well, I'll allow it, but only because Xenia requested it. Dealing with her is unusually complex, and I'd like to stay on her good side. Who were you thinking of sending with us? Yourself?"
The dwarf shakes her head. "No, as much as I'd like to. I already have too many responsibilities, and it'd be foolish of me not to delegate. Forst and Bootpebble are just contractors, so wouldn't do to send them, either. Would you allow Verdant Priestess Fullblossom, to represent the clergy, and Paladin of Bounty Bluehair as her escort?"
The Agent briefly glances at a few sheets containing the profiles of the Church's expedition party. "Would give our party two heavies, but that's not such a problem, and six members isn't too unwieldy. Our next inspection trip is scheduled for four days from now, would that suit you?"
"Aye, that'd suit. Shall I send the two your way, for some inter-party training? Make sure no one stumbles on each other's toes or nothing like that?"
"A good idea. Here's hoping we have a positive and fruitful trip, without too many surprises..."
She pauses for a moment and adds an addendum. "Somehow I doubt it, though."
