“Is it tough? What’s so tough?”
“…”
“But you should only have a hard time in front of me. Don’t do that when I can’t see you because it’s annoying. I can’t even hug you.”
He made me lean against him, and I relaxed my stiff body while clutching my bag tightly. I felt a sense of comfort, and my heart beat pleasantly in my chest. My heart suddenly reminded me of its presence, as if it had something to fill the void within me.
His breath brushed against my neck. His arms were still wrapped tightly around me, and I didn’t mind. The gentle breeze caressed my heart as it passed by. My eyes grew teary. It was because the summer wind felt too warm.
I wished he would always do this for me. I wished he would stay by my side as if he would always be there. No, it would be nice if he didn’t act capriciously and made things clear. No, not that. Even if his feelings wavered, I still wished he wouldn’t leave. I wish he wouldn’t take me for granted and never let me go.
I knew he liked me. But I couldn’t quite believe the depth of his feelings. What should I do if that feeling was so fickle that it extinguished when the wind blew and faded away when the sun rose? What if it was just a feeling that he could wake up one morning and decide he no longer loved me?
But if it’s not any different from being with you, I want to close my eyes and live with you. It felt like I was going crazy with love. Even so, if I can be by this person’s side, what does it matter?
Ah, but this is a world where you and I can’t be together.
“Hyung…”
“Yeah?”
“The world is too cruel to me… F**k, it’s so messed up… What does it want me to do?”
“Yeah… you’re still not sober.”
“Hyung, I really don’t know why I came here. I really wanted to go home, you know? But now I don’t feel like it anymore, and that makes me so angry. It’s annoying that I don’t even care anymore.”
My voice mixed with sobs as my mouth kept running uncontrollably. I suddenly felt hot. The bulging veins on the back of his hand as he patted my thigh were unsettling, but that wasn’t the important thing. However, I unconsciously reached out for another sip of alcohol.
The whiskey bottle with the extinguished cigarette butts had turned bad, but the glass with some melted ice still held a good drink. I extended my hand just 1cm, but his hand reached for the glass first.
“…”
I turned my head with a dumbfounded look on my face. The alcohol was swirling in the glass held in Tae Seong-je’s fingertips. At the same time, the ice rattled and danced. He looked up at the sky and made a call.
“We still have the honey the manager sent, right? Yeah, you can use it to make honey water.”
For a moment, I doubted my ears. What did he say… as if he was cursing? It was an amazing talent, but I didn’t have time to admire it. It was because Tae Seong-je began to leisurely empty the glass.
“Huh? All… How can you drink all of it…”
I was so disappointed that I forgot that I had just been scolded and grabbed his arm. I felt like I was going to die, but he didn’t even pretend to listen and just drank up to the last drop. I couldn’t be sadder than this, so I hung on to his arm and swallowed my tears. My eyes easily turned red as I sobered up from the alcohol.
Someone quietly entered the room with a small knock. I was resting my forehead on his forearm, but I lifted my head up at the sight of him. The CCTV, or rather Tae Seong-je’s subordinate, had unusually thick shoulders. When I looked closely, I saw a small wound around the eye.
It looked like a knife wound, and he was carefully holding a white dish with such a scar. This guy also had big hands that could turn a perfectly good dish into a toy. Although there were hardly any people bigger than me in school, why were there so many people around Tae Seong-je who were taller than average? Or maybe it was because the atmosphere was strange…
I wondered if his job only attracts people like that. I wanted to say hello politely, but I was too embarrassed to stick my head out, so I stayed still. The shoulder man quickly leaves the room even though no one is chasing him. I silently drank the honey water he handed me, feeling that it was a pity…
“Ugh!”
As soon as it touched my lips, I stuck my tongue out. It was so sweet that it made me sober up instantly, and my back straightened in one go. I thought this was weird, but before I could step back, he pushed the dish towards me with his fingertips.
“Just because you have a big liver doesn’t mean you can ignore your alcohol tolerance. If you keep doing this, you’ll be in big trouble.”
His voice was soft, but there was a sense of urgency. Instinctively, I opened my mouth like someone who had taken medicine. I gulped down the liquid as if I had been prescribed medicine. It was so terrifying that I shivered all over. It seemed like a very good honey, but it was too sweet.
“Have you finished drinking? Then sleep now. Let’s talk again after you sober up.”
“I-I finished all of this?”
It’s not over yet? Am I going to get scolded again? I felt a bit of despair as I handed him the empty dish, but his gaze was resolute. My spirit was crushed, and I meekly put the dish on the floor and clutched my bag tightly. He should cut me some slack. If this is cutting me some slack, then he should cut me even more slack. I felt defeated, but maybe I could sleep now. I yawned, hoping that I could fall into a deep slumber as he had said.
***
“Seo Seung-won, repeat after me. I.”
As soon as I opened my eyes, I was met with his chilling gaze and cold voice. I was still half-asleep and taken aback. However, I forced my eyes open and quickly followed his words.
“I-I.”
“The moment a single drop of alcohol touches my throat.”
“…The moment a single drop of alcohol touches my throat.”
“I will personally gag myself in my upper and lower mouth.”
“…”
As I fully woke up, my face flushed with embarrassment. How could you describe it as the lower mouth? My mind was immediately filled with vivid images, and I couldn’t even catch my breath. Nevertheless, feeling like I had to follow through, I murmured in a hesitant voice.
The sun had long set, and it was dark outside. The whisky bottle with cigarette butts on the table caught my eye, and my heart pounded in my chest. I hadn’t gone crazy just because I had a drink or two, but when I thought back on it when I was sober, I realized that I was really out of my mind.
Tae Seong-je’s cold gaze made it impossible for me to even think about complaining, and I started sweating profusely. His intense gaze seemed to display deep patience.
“Seung-won.”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think I’m tolerating you?”
“…Because I’m cute?”
After a moment of silence, he spoke.
“Not entirely wrong.”
He scratched his eye with his rough hand and muttered curses, it seemed he didn’t get the response he wanted. I had said it because everything I did was cute… It wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
“Enough. You must be feeling terrible. Eat something. You’ve been lying here without eating anything.”
That was truly a welcome remark. Well, not the hangover part, but the fact that Tae Seong-je had initiated the conversation. On a small table set up on the bed was an exquisite ceramic bowl. It didn’t give off an exotic vibe, but it did feel ominous. Was it something strange he had brought?
However, as if laughing at my doubts, the food that was opened one by one looked delicious. The abalone porridge with large pieces of abalone, especially the dried pollack soup, whetted my appetite. The hot and savory taste quickly warmed my stomach. My body and mind became pleasantly sluggish, and even my usually tense shoulders felt relaxed.
“Finished eating?”
“Yes.”
“Was it delicious?”
“Absolutely.”
Even my facial muscles relaxed from the satisfying meal. As I looked at him, the hint of a smile appeared on his lips. He gently grabs my cheek and pulls it so that our foreheads touch. He let out a small sigh as he pulled away and helped me up.
“Okay then, let’s take a shower now.”
I followed him into a large room, which I hadn’t seen before, and there was a large bathtub. The setting sun’s glow was still visible in the water. Steam billowed from the hot water, and the rich foam made my heart flutter like a child’s. When did he prepare something like this again?
I approached him and bent my waist. There was a fragrance of flowers.
“Is it nice?”
I nodded quickly. As he said, it was a really nice scent. I took a deep breath, and through the foam, I could see floating flowers. I realized that even if it wasn’t a graduation or commencement ceremony, at some point in my life, I would receive a bouquet of flowers in my bathtub.
I quickly took off my clothes and soaked in the bathtub. It was a bit hot, but it helped me relax even more, releasing all the tension I had. I couldn’t help but say that it was refreshing. So, this is why people enjoy baths in bathtubs. When I graduate and start earning money, I should definitely live in a house with a bathtub.
The pleasant scent and temperature were so good that I couldn’t help but hum. I gathered the cloud-like foam like snow and played with it. I suddenly saw him with his arms crossed in a relaxed manner.
“Did you put in the gift I gave you?”
“No.”
It would have been disappointing if he had used the gift I gave him, but I was glad he didn’t. So where did he put it? I couldn’t see it in the room.
“Hyung, come in too.”
“I’m good.”
“It’s really nice here… Come on, oh.”
I reached out my arm without thinking and then immediately stiffened my shoulder. I had forgotten that my hand was covered in foam. The color of the shirt where my hand touched darkened. The foam that clung to my arm dripped onto his shirt.
“Hyung, I didn’t do that on purpose… I really…”
I stood up awkwardly and looked at him for a reaction. He frowned slightly and then began unbuttoning his watch and belt, eventually stepping into the bathtub with his clothes on. I turned around in surprise, he took a seat behind me and began gently massaging my shoulders.
“Don’t worry about getting my clothes wet. Don’t be so self-conscious. Being too self-conscious is a habit. Fix it.”
“Yes.”
I nodded quickly, but his wet shirt clung tightly to his solid chest.
“I think hyung has a good chemistry with water.”
“Are you sober yet?”
“I’m sober.”
Why was he teasing me again? As I frowned in dissatisfaction, the man who had been looking at me as if observing me took a step back. At the same time, he pulled me into his arms and lay down comfortably. I leaned against his chest and hesitated for a moment, but soon relaxed into the comfort of drowsiness.
The ceiling of this room was unusually high, and the windows were larger too. Or was it because this man was someone I liked so much that it felt that way? Just being together filled my chest with a soothing warmth. My body, filled with affection, gradually warmed up to the point of becoming hazy.
“Is it tough? What’s so tough?”
“…”
“But you should only have a hard time in front of me. Don’t do that when I can’t see you because it’s annoying. I can’t even hug you.”
He made me lean against him, and I relaxed my stiff body while clutching my bag tightly. I felt a sense of comfort, and my heart beat pleasantly in my chest. My heart suddenly reminded me of its presence, as if it had something to fill the void within me.
His breath brushed against my neck. His arms were still wrapped tightly around me, and I didn’t mind. The gentle breeze caressed my heart as it passed by. My eyes grew teary. It was because the summer wind felt too warm.
I wished he would always do this for me. I wished he would stay by my side as if he would always be there. No, it would be nice if he didn’t act capriciously and made things clear. No, not that. Even if his feelings wavered, I still wished he wouldn’t leave. I wish he wouldn’t take me for granted and never let me go.
I knew he liked me. But I couldn’t quite believe the depth of his feelings. What should I do if that feeling was so fickle that it extinguished when the wind blew and faded away when the sun rose? What if it was just a feeling that he could wake up one morning and decide he no longer loved me?
But if it’s not any different from being with you, I want to close my eyes and live with you. It felt like I was going crazy with love. Even so, if I can be by this person’s side, what does it matter?
Ah, but this is a world where you and I can’t be together.
“Hyung…”
“Yeah?”
“The world is too cruel to me… F**k, it’s so messed up… What does it want me to do?”
“Yeah… you’re still not sober.”
“Hyung, I really don’t know why I came here. I really wanted to go home, you know? But now I don’t feel like it anymore, and that makes me so angry. It’s annoying that I don’t even care anymore.”
My voice mixed with sobs as my mouth kept running uncontrollably. I suddenly felt hot. The bulging veins on the back of his hand as he patted my thigh were unsettling, but that wasn’t the important thing. However, I unconsciously reached out for another sip of alcohol.
The whiskey bottle with the extinguished cigarette butts had turned bad, but the glass with some melted ice still held a good drink. I extended my hand just 1cm, but his hand reached for the glass first.
“…”
I turned my head with a dumbfounded look on my face. The alcohol was swirling in the glass held in Tae Seong-je’s fingertips. At the same time, the ice rattled and danced. He looked up at the sky and made a call.
“We still have the honey the manager sent, right? Yeah, you can use it to make honey water.”
For a moment, I doubted my ears. What did he say… as if he was cursing? It was an amazing talent, but I didn’t have time to admire it. It was because Tae Seong-je began to leisurely empty the glass.
“Huh? All… How can you drink all of it…”
I was so disappointed that I forgot that I had just been scolded and grabbed his arm. I felt like I was going to die, but he didn’t even pretend to listen and just drank up to the last drop. I couldn’t be sadder than this, so I hung on to his arm and swallowed my tears. My eyes easily turned red as I sobered up from the alcohol.
Someone quietly entered the room with a small knock. I was resting my forehead on his forearm, but I lifted my head up at the sight of him. The CCTV, or rather Tae Seong-je’s subordinate, had unusually thick shoulders. When I looked closely, I saw a small wound around the eye.
It looked like a knife wound, and he was carefully holding a white dish with such a scar. This guy also had big hands that could turn a perfectly good dish into a toy. Although there were hardly any people bigger than me in school, why were there so many people around Tae Seong-je who were taller than average? Or maybe it was because the atmosphere was strange…
I wondered if his job only attracts people like that. I wanted to say hello politely, but I was too embarrassed to stick my head out, so I stayed still. The shoulder man quickly leaves the room even though no one is chasing him. I silently drank the honey water he handed me, feeling that it was a pity…
“Ugh!”
As soon as it touched my lips, I stuck my tongue out. It was so sweet that it made me sober up instantly, and my back straightened in one go. I thought this was weird, but before I could step back, he pushed the dish towards me with his fingertips.
“Just because you have a big liver doesn’t mean you can ignore your alcohol tolerance. If you keep doing this, you’ll be in big trouble.”
His voice was soft, but there was a sense of urgency. Instinctively, I opened my mouth like someone who had taken medicine. I gulped down the liquid as if I had been prescribed medicine. It was so terrifying that I shivered all over. It seemed like a very good honey, but it was too sweet.
“Have you finished drinking? Then sleep now. Let’s talk again after you sober up.”
“I-I finished all of this?”
It’s not over yet? Am I going to get scolded again? I felt a bit of despair as I handed him the empty dish, but his gaze was resolute. My spirit was crushed, and I meekly put the dish on the floor and clutched my bag tightly. He should cut me some slack. If this is cutting me some slack, then he should cut me even more slack. I felt defeated, but maybe I could sleep now. I yawned, hoping that I could fall into a deep slumber as he had said.
***
“Seo Seung-won, repeat after me. I.”
As soon as I opened my eyes, I was met with his chilling gaze and cold voice. I was still half-asleep and taken aback. However, I forced my eyes open and quickly followed his words.
“I-I.”
“The moment a single drop of alcohol touches my throat.”
“…The moment a single drop of alcohol touches my throat.”
“I will personally gag myself in my upper and lower mouth.”
“…”
As I fully woke up, my face flushed with embarrassment. How could you describe it as the lower mouth? My mind was immediately filled with vivid images, and I couldn’t even catch my breath. Nevertheless, feeling like I had to follow through, I murmured in a hesitant voice.
The sun had long set, and it was dark outside. The whisky bottle with cigarette butts on the table caught my eye, and my heart pounded in my chest. I hadn’t gone crazy just because I had a drink or two, but when I thought back on it when I was sober, I realized that I was really out of my mind.
Tae Seong-je’s cold gaze made it impossible for me to even think about complaining, and I started sweating profusely. His intense gaze seemed to display deep patience.
“Seung-won.”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think I’m tolerating you?”
“…Because I’m cute?”
After a moment of silence, he spoke.
“Not entirely wrong.”
He scratched his eye with his rough hand and muttered curses, it seemed he didn’t get the response he wanted. I had said it because everything I did was cute… It wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
“Enough. You must be feeling terrible. Eat something. You’ve been lying here without eating anything.”
That was truly a welcome remark. Well, not the hangover part, but the fact that Tae Seong-je had initiated the conversation. On a small table set up on the bed was an exquisite ceramic bowl. It didn’t give off an exotic vibe, but it did feel ominous. Was it something strange he had brought?
However, as if laughing at my doubts, the food that was opened one by one looked delicious. The abalone porridge with large pieces of abalone, especially the dried pollack soup, whetted my appetite. The hot and savory taste quickly warmed my stomach. My body and mind became pleasantly sluggish, and even my usually tense shoulders felt relaxed.
“Finished eating?”
“Yes.”
“Was it delicious?”
“Absolutely.”
Even my facial muscles relaxed from the satisfying meal. As I looked at him, the hint of a smile appeared on his lips. He gently grabs my cheek and pulls it so that our foreheads touch. He let out a small sigh as he pulled away and helped me up.
“Okay then, let’s take a shower now.”
I followed him into a large room, which I hadn’t seen before, and there was a large bathtub. The setting sun’s glow was still visible in the water. Steam billowed from the hot water, and the rich foam made my heart flutter like a child’s. When did he prepare something like this again?
I approached him and bent my waist. There was a fragrance of flowers.
“Is it nice?”
I nodded quickly. As he said, it was a really nice scent. I took a deep breath, and through the foam, I could see floating flowers. I realized that even if it wasn’t a graduation or commencement ceremony, at some point in my life, I would receive a bouquet of flowers in my bathtub.
I quickly took off my clothes and soaked in the bathtub. It was a bit hot, but it helped me relax even more, releasing all the tension I had. I couldn’t help but say that it was refreshing. So, this is why people enjoy baths in bathtubs. When I graduate and start earning money, I should definitely live in a house with a bathtub.
The pleasant scent and temperature were so good that I couldn’t help but hum. I gathered the cloud-like foam like snow and played with it. I suddenly saw him with his arms crossed in a relaxed manner.
“Did you put in the gift I gave you?”
“No.”
It would have been disappointing if he had used the gift I gave him, but I was glad he didn’t. So where did he put it? I couldn’t see it in the room.
“Hyung, come in too.”
“I’m good.”
“It’s really nice here… Come on, oh.”
I reached out my arm without thinking and then immediately stiffened my shoulder. I had forgotten that my hand was covered in foam. The color of the shirt where my hand touched darkened. The foam that clung to my arm dripped onto his shirt.
“Hyung, I didn’t do that on purpose… I really…”
I stood up awkwardly and looked at him for a reaction. He frowned slightly and then began unbuttoning his watch and belt, eventually stepping into the bathtub with his clothes on. I turned around in surprise, he took a seat behind me and began gently massaging my shoulders.
“Don’t worry about getting my clothes wet. Don’t be so self-conscious. Being too self-conscious is a habit. Fix it.”
“Yes.”
I nodded quickly, but his wet shirt clung tightly to his solid chest.
“I think hyung has a good chemistry with water.”
“Are you sober yet?”
“I’m sober.”
Why was he teasing me again? As I frowned in dissatisfaction, the man who had been looking at me as if observing me took a step back. At the same time, he pulled me into his arms and lay down comfortably. I leaned against his chest and hesitated for a moment, but soon relaxed into the comfort of drowsiness.
The ceiling of this room was unusually high, and the windows were larger too. Or was it because this man was someone I liked so much that it felt that way? Just being together filled my chest with a soothing warmth. My body, filled with affection, gradually warmed up to the point of becoming hazy.
