Chapter 170: Heavy Considerations Pt.2
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Her voice got quieter at the end as she spoke, the words were hard to say but she had to say them.
"I can't let this happen again, seriously. Just the prospect of Zhuang Wei being successful was enough to throw us all into danger and if you had not noticed it, he would have. Imagine we did not have that code set up to track information on us, would we have been able to catch on so quickly? It would have been too late when we actually did and then we would be scrambling to salvage whatever we had less. You and I both know how many people are looking for me and us out there. We can't give them a reason to find us again."
"Okay, but these what if's don't count. What if we didn't find it? What if he was successful? None of these are real scenarios because I ensure they can't be. You can't trust Zhuang Wei fine, but trust me and trust the programs I developed okay. There is nowhere on the internet can someone to code information about you or find you out, as long as I am here. That's also how we got Zhuang Wei, it had been two seconds since he had tried to run it when I was altered. That's how quick the response time is on the program, I don't have fear that I can't catch it."
"You say this now, but what if you were not at your desk?? It was just convenient and lucky today. What about next time?"
"Well, I do have it set up to notify my phone, my bedroom, my bathroom, etcetera. There is no place where I would not be able to receive a notification for this level of alert. Plus, stop jinxing yourself it won't happen again. You've spoke to Xi Long and he seemed quite apologetic right?"
"Yeah..."
"AND you trust that he will follow through on his words right? Zhuang Wei was an idiot for doing what he did but we understood the reasoning. Albeit, I don't agree but the intention was good in nature. For someone who values his best friend so much, he would not do this again unless he wanted a death warrant."
She released a deep sigh and started rubbing her head.
"You say this but is he dependable? Is his words dependable? Literally five minutes ago he was asking 'oh what if I don't' when you warned him to leave me alone. Does that sound like someone who will give up??"
The frustration was pooling off of her and she felt like her brain would burst from all the thinking. There were so many serious considerations to make that she really needed to think about. When she had first found out Xi Long was involved, she had steeled her heart to cut him off. That was an in moment courage she gathered and it disappeared the second she knew it wasn't him. Which didn't mean that she completely forgave him or believed that everything would be okay. It was just that her resolve to draw the line at that moment had been paused.
Now that there wasn't any pressure of time and they had a second to relax, everything came back to her. She was spiralling in her mind and you could tell by her face that she was. Each thought she had would start with her and then start going deeper and deeper till she thought of the root cause. She was part of the root but the main problem was her relationship with Xi Long.
Everything was fine and dandy the day before, if this would not have happened she would have enjoyed their relationship a lot more. Now, there were negative feelings mixed in and significant worry that it would endanger her. If not Zhuang Wei, it could be another person around him. Yes, she was careful with her face and staying hidden.
However, he himself was a high profile figure. No matter how 'low key' he tries to come off there is always one or two people keeping an eye on him. What was she to do when they noticed a woman around him? A woman that seemingly had a good relationship with him, in the romantic category?
Then the eyes on her would triple from them two, to several and she didn't need that.
"Stop. Ying Yue look at me."
She felt a hand grip her face from both sides and pull her to face Neo. He looked at her with a serious expression as he spoke.
"Stop, I know that look anywhere. You're spiralling and you're overthinking this. I don't know exactly what you are thinking about but I know none of it is good. Stop for one, putting his heavy pressure on yourself. I've told you this multiple times but you could afford to live a little."
She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off off by him.
"Shush, I don't want to hear whatever sob story you are going to say to me. I know whatever it is you're about to say will go along the lines of -
'I can't do this....'
'What if...'
'But its my fault....'
Boohooo. You sound like a broken record with how you've been reiterating the same points over and over again. Frankly I am tired of listening to it."
"Just cause you're tired of hearing it does not make it any less true!"
There was a quick 'bong' on her head as Neo hit it lightly with his fist. It was his form of trying to shut her up and simultaneously punish her for being like this. They had spent the last five minutes repeating the same things and even she knew that it was redundant.
However, she still didn't feel satisfied inside with her thoughts. There was no conclusion or solution that they both could agree on. She was already hesitant to interact with Xi Long since it was her first real romantic relationship. In the beginning, it was just curiosity and her feeling adventurous with her actions. Life had been quiet for so long she may have willed that sort of excitement into her life unknowingly.
No one expected her to like him as much as she did, especially for how they met.
Their first meeting was her trying to roundhouse kick him into the ground. Both of them had entered the alley for different reasons and by pure chance came in contact. At first, she only considered him a weird guy on the street who called people animal names. It was quite creepy at the time but his handsome face kept the disgust at bay. She was not blind, the man was very gorgeous and matched her type to the T.
Call her selfish, but to see an attractive man that looked sinful from every angle....it was a hard not to look.
If he had a different face, she probably would not have given him the time of day. Even as he searched for her she did not put him within her eyes. Its just that the more they hung out and the more they met, she subconsciously started to enjoy it. There was a mix of dominance and respectfulness from him that she liked.
Of course, to her a 'normal woman' was also a different definition. She was just used to being in positions where she had to help others or lead men. So when it came down to seeing someone in a romantic manner, none of the men she met were suitable options. Not including that their character would be too twisted for her to like them.
Xi Long compared to all of them was like a breath of fresh air.
There were times that their interactions could have come off forceful or he was 'attacking' her. Yet, in all those situations she let it happen to a certain degree. She was not someone who liked to pretend to be weak, she was truly inexperienced in relationship matters. However, when faced with someone she found attractive and they were offering her things she hadn't experienced, it was a hard offer to decline.
She was twenty-five and had never been in a romantic relationship. Kissing, dating, doing normal couple stuff was never something she had experienced unless it was for a undercover operation. Those experiences she did not put into her eyes since they were for an ulterior motive or a gain for their team. That did not mean, she did not hold hope of experiencing it naturally in her own personal life. No mission, no ulterior motive, just a natural progression and that was Xi Long to her.
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Her voice got quieter at the end as she spoke, the words were hard to say but she had to say them.
"I can't let this happen again, seriously. Just the prospect of Zhuang Wei being successful was enough to throw us all into danger and if you had not noticed it, he would have. Imagine we did not have that code set up to track information on us, would we have been able to catch on so quickly? It would have been too late when we actually did and then we would be scrambling to salvage whatever we had less. You and I both know how many people are looking for me and us out there. We can't give them a reason to find us again."
"Okay, but these what if's don't count. What if we didn't find it? What if he was successful? None of these are real scenarios because I ensure they can't be. You can't trust Zhuang Wei fine, but trust me and trust the programs I developed okay. There is nowhere on the internet can someone to code information about you or find you out, as long as I am here. That's also how we got Zhuang Wei, it had been two seconds since he had tried to run it when I was altered. That's how quick the response time is on the program, I don't have fear that I can't catch it."
"You say this now, but what if you were not at your desk?? It was just convenient and lucky today. What about next time?"
"Well, I do have it set up to notify my phone, my bedroom, my bathroom, etcetera. There is no place where I would not be able to receive a notification for this level of alert. Plus, stop jinxing yourself it won't happen again. You've spoke to Xi Long and he seemed quite apologetic right?"
"Yeah..."
"AND you trust that he will follow through on his words right? Zhuang Wei was an idiot for doing what he did but we understood the reasoning. Albeit, I don't agree but the intention was good in nature. For someone who values his best friend so much, he would not do this again unless he wanted a death warrant."
She released a deep sigh and started rubbing her head.
"You say this but is he dependable? Is his words dependable? Literally five minutes ago he was asking 'oh what if I don't' when you warned him to leave me alone. Does that sound like someone who will give up??"
The frustration was pooling off of her and she felt like her brain would burst from all the thinking. There were so many serious considerations to make that she really needed to think about. When she had first found out Xi Long was involved, she had steeled her heart to cut him off. That was an in moment courage she gathered and it disappeared the second she knew it wasn't him. Which didn't mean that she completely forgave him or believed that everything would be okay. It was just that her resolve to draw the line at that moment had been paused.
Now that there wasn't any pressure of time and they had a second to relax, everything came back to her. She was spiralling in her mind and you could tell by her face that she was. Each thought she had would start with her and then start going deeper and deeper till she thought of the root cause. She was part of the root but the main problem was her relationship with Xi Long.
Everything was fine and dandy the day before, if this would not have happened she would have enjoyed their relationship a lot more. Now, there were negative feelings mixed in and significant worry that it would endanger her. If not Zhuang Wei, it could be another person around him. Yes, she was careful with her face and staying hidden.
However, he himself was a high profile figure. No matter how 'low key' he tries to come off there is always one or two people keeping an eye on him. What was she to do when they noticed a woman around him? A woman that seemingly had a good relationship with him, in the romantic category?
Then the eyes on her would triple from them two, to several and she didn't need that.
"Stop. Ying Yue look at me."
She felt a hand grip her face from both sides and pull her to face Neo. He looked at her with a serious expression as he spoke.
"Stop, I know that look anywhere. You're spiralling and you're overthinking this. I don't know exactly what you are thinking about but I know none of it is good. Stop for one, putting his heavy pressure on yourself. I've told you this multiple times but you could afford to live a little."
She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off off by him.
"Shush, I don't want to hear whatever sob story you are going to say to me. I know whatever it is you're about to say will go along the lines of -
'I can't do this....'
'What if...'
'But its my fault....'
Boohooo. You sound like a broken record with how you've been reiterating the same points over and over again. Frankly I am tired of listening to it."
"Just cause you're tired of hearing it does not make it any less true!"
There was a quick 'bong' on her head as Neo hit it lightly with his fist. It was his form of trying to shut her up and simultaneously punish her for being like this. They had spent the last five minutes repeating the same things and even she knew that it was redundant.
However, she still didn't feel satisfied inside with her thoughts. There was no conclusion or solution that they both could agree on. She was already hesitant to interact with Xi Long since it was her first real romantic relationship. In the beginning, it was just curiosity and her feeling adventurous with her actions. Life had been quiet for so long she may have willed that sort of excitement into her life unknowingly.
No one expected her to like him as much as she did, especially for how they met.
Their first meeting was her trying to roundhouse kick him into the ground. Both of them had entered the alley for different reasons and by pure chance came in contact. At first, she only considered him a weird guy on the street who called people animal names. It was quite creepy at the time but his handsome face kept the disgust at bay. She was not blind, the man was very gorgeous and matched her type to the T.
Call her selfish, but to see an attractive man that looked sinful from every angle....it was a hard not to look.
If he had a different face, she probably would not have given him the time of day. Even as he searched for her she did not put him within her eyes. Its just that the more they hung out and the more they met, she subconsciously started to enjoy it. There was a mix of dominance and respectfulness from him that she liked.
Of course, to her a 'normal woman' was also a different definition. She was just used to being in positions where she had to help others or lead men. So when it came down to seeing someone in a romantic manner, none of the men she met were suitable options. Not including that their character would be too twisted for her to like them.
Xi Long compared to all of them was like a breath of fresh air.
There were times that their interactions could have come off forceful or he was 'attacking' her. Yet, in all those situations she let it happen to a certain degree. She was not someone who liked to pretend to be weak, she was truly inexperienced in relationship matters. However, when faced with someone she found attractive and they were offering her things she hadn't experienced, it was a hard offer to decline.
She was twenty-five and had never been in a romantic relationship. Kissing, dating, doing normal couple stuff was never something she had experienced unless it was for a undercover operation. Those experiences she did not put into her eyes since they were for an ulterior motive or a gain for their team. That did not mean, she did not hold hope of experiencing it naturally in her own personal life. No mission, no ulterior motive, just a natural progression and that was Xi Long to her.
Her voice got quieter at the end as she spoke, the words were hard to say but she had to say them. "I can't let this happen again, seriously. Just the prospect of Zhuang Wei being successful was enough to throw us all into danger and if you had not noticed it, he would have. Imagine we did not have that code set up to track information on us, would we have been able to catch on so quickly? It would have been too late when we actually did and then we would be scrambling to salvage whatever we had less. You and I both know how many people are looking for me and us out there. We can't give them a reason to find us again." "Okay, but these what if's don't count. What if we didn't find it? What if he was successful? None of these are real scenarios because I ensure they can't be. You can't trust Zhuang Wei fine, but trust me and trust the programs I developed okay. There is nowhere on the internet can someone to code information about you or find you out, as long as I am here. That's also how we got Zhuang Wei, it had been two seconds since he had tried to run it when I was altered. That's how quick the response time is on the program, I don't have fear that I can't catch it." "You say this now, but what if you were not at your desk?? It was just convenient and lucky today. What about next time?" "Well, I do have it set up to notify my phone, my bedroom, my bathroom, etcetera. There is no place where I would not be able to receive a notification for this level of alert. Plus, stop jinxing yourself it won't happen again. You've spoke to Xi Long and he seemed quite apologetic right?" "Yeah..." "AND you trust that he will follow through on his words right? Zhuang Wei was an idiot for doing what he did but we understood the reasoning. Albeit, I don't agree but the intention was good in nature. For someone who values his best friend so much, he would not do this again unless he wanted a death warrant." She released a deep sigh and started rubbing her head. "You say this but is he dependable? Is his words dependable? Literally five minutes ago he was asking 'oh what if I don't' when you warned him to leave me alone. Does that sound like someone who will give up??" The frustration was pooling off of her and she felt like her brain would burst from all the thinking. There were so many serious considerations to make that she really needed to think about. When she had first found out Xi Long was involved, she had steeled her heart to cut him off. That was an in moment courage she gathered and it disappeared the second she knew it wasn't him. Which didn't mean that she completely forgave him or believed that everything would be okay. It was just that her resolve to draw the line at that moment had been paused. Now that there wasn't any pressure of time and they had a second to relax, everything came back to her. She was spiralling in her mind and you could tell by her face that she was. Each thought she had would start with her and then start going deeper and deeper till she thought of the root cause. She was part of the root but the main problem was her relationship with Xi Long. Everything was fine and dandy the day before, if this would not have happened she would have enjoyed their relationship a lot more. Now, there were negative feelings mixed in and significant worry that it would endanger her. If not Zhuang Wei, it could be another person around him. Yes, she was careful with her face and staying hidden. However, he himself was a high profile figure. No matter how 'low key' he tries to come off there is always one or two people keeping an eye on him. What was she to do when they noticed a woman around him? A woman that seemingly had a good relationship with him, in the romantic category? Then the eyes on her would triple from them two, to several and she didn't need that. "Stop. Ying Yue look at me." She felt a hand grip her face from both sides and pull her to face Neo. He looked at her with a serious expression as he spoke. "Stop, I know that look anywhere. You're spiralling and you're overthinking this. I don't know exactly what you are thinking about but I know none of it is good. Stop for one, putting his heavy pressure on yourself. I've told you this multiple times but you could afford to live a little." She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off off by him. "Shush, I don't want to hear whatever sob story you are going to say to me. I know whatever it is you're about to say will go along the lines of - 'I can't do this....' 'What if...' 'But its my fault....' Boohooo. You sound like a broken record with how you've been reiterating the same points over and over again. Frankly I am tired of listening to it." "Just cause you're tired of hearing it does not make it any less true!" There was a quick 'bong' on her head as Neo hit it lightly with his fist. It was his form of trying to shut her up and simultaneously punish her for being like this. They had spent the last five minutes repeating the same things and even she knew that it was redundant. However, she still didn't feel satisfied inside with her thoughts. There was no conclusion or solution that they both could agree on. She was already hesitant to interact with Xi Long since it was her first real romantic relationship. In the beginning, it was just curiosity and her feeling adventurous with her actions. Life had been quiet for so long she may have willed that sort of excitement into her life unknowingly. No one expected her to like him as much as she did, especially for how they met. Their first meeting was her trying to roundhouse kick him into the ground. Both of them had entered the alley for different reasons and by pure chance came in contact. At first, she only considered him a weird guy on the street who called people animal names. It was quite creepy at the time but his handsome face kept the disgust at bay. She was not blind, the man was very gorgeous and matched her type to the T. Call her selfish, but to see an attractive man that looked sinful from every angle....it was a hard not to look. If he had a different face, she probably would not have given him the time of day. Even as he searched for her she did not put him within her eyes. Its just that the more they hung out and the more they met, she subconsciously started to enjoy it. There was a mix of dominance and respectfulness from him that she liked. Of course, to her a 'normal woman' was also a different definition. She was just used to being in positions where she had to help others or lead men. So when it came down to seeing someone in a romantic manner, none of the men she met were suitable options. Not including that their character would be too twisted for her to like them. Xi Long compared to all of them was like a breath of fresh air. There were times that their interactions could have come off forceful or he was 'attacking' her. Yet, in all those situations she let it happen to a certain degree. She was not someone who liked to pretend to be weak, she was truly inexperienced in relationship matters. However, when faced with someone she found attractive and they were offering her things she hadn't experienced, it was a hard offer to decline. She was twenty-five and had never been in a romantic relationship. Kissing, dating, doing normal couple stuff was never something she had experienced unless it was for a undercover operation. Those experiences she did not put into her eyes since they were for an ulterior motive or a gain for their team. That did not mean, she did not hold hope of experiencing it naturally in her own personal life. No mission, no ulterior motive, just a natural progression and that was Xi Long to her.
