All was not well in the book nook. Simon could hear Dani speaking with someone else, and that meant one of two things. She was either on the phone with someone, who would either be her parents harassing her or Ryan flirting with her. Or it meant she was talking to one of his family members.
Of the two, he wasn’t sure which he preferred.
If it’s my little cousins they might be asking her weird questions. I doubt they’ve met a trans person before, and they’re too young to have any tact! This was supposed to be a good day for her, how could I have let this happen?
His feet got lighter as his urgency grew and he neared the top of the steps.
“Hey Dani,” he said before he could see her. “Are you up here?”
From the nook, a voice called back. One that wasn’t Dani’s. “Oh great, your babysitter found us.” It was his sister, Phoebe.
Oh. It’s just her. At least she wouldn’t ask anything inappropriate. But now I have to worry about a whole new set of problems.
Simon and his sister rarely got along. Phoebe was older than him and spent their childhood reminding him of that fact whenever possible. From telling him fibs about serial killers and monsters that lurked outside, to hogging the extra car once they could both drive, she never gave Simon much of a break. He would sometimes joke they weren’t related, seeing as her hair was a lot darker than his and she never broke five-eleven, making her the shortest in their house. He knew it wasn’t true, though, as they both had the same lanky figure, quiet temperament, and their father’s larger nose.
This resulted in a splintered sibling relationship where they looked after each other and cared for each other but never spoke openly or confided real emotion into one another. It also led to Phoebe always squeezing information about Simon through Dani whenever she could.
“Yeah I’m in here, Simon.” Dani’s voice was light and not as anxious as Simon was expecting. “Do you need anything?”
At least she ignored that babysitter comment.
Finally at the top of the stairs, he turned the corner and found himself in the familiar reading corner. Two tall bookshelves filled to the brim with children’s stories, encyclopedias, classic novels, and family photo albums defined the space. Between them, a small white couch Dani occupied half of and a red leather chair his sister sat in were placed next to each other, separated only by a coffee table with an old lamp and a picture frame with a photo of his grandparents inside. It held fond memories for Simon, who had spent a whole summer when he was little reading through the encyclopedias and telling his grandma and grandpa fun facts he had learned from them. It was a welcome distraction from the reality of why he and his sister spent a few months living in the house while their parents sorted out their separation. Even Phoebe was nicer to him that summer.
If only she had stayed that way…
Both Dani and his sister were staring at him, as if the only reason he would interrupt them was to deliver some news and then wander away again.
“Oh, hey.” He had no idea what he could say that wouldn’t come across as awkward murmurings. “I was wondering where you were, making sure you were okay.” His speech slowed down as he realized how honest he was being.
“She’s fine, we were just catching up.” Phoebe sounded annoyed, though she always carried that tone.
Simon wasn’t convinced that everything would be alright, but Dani was at least not feeling anxious for the time being. “Sorry, I can leave you two alone.”
“You can join us,” Dani said before Simon could leave. She patted the empty half of the couch next to her. “It’s nice to have all three of us in the same room again.”
Does she really want to hang out with me or does she just pity me?
Simon decided he didn’t care and accepted his place on the cushy sofa. “Yeah, I’m sure people will talk all through and after dinner, so now’s our only shot at some quiet.” He tried to work out if Phoebe was upset at his intrusion but her face looked no more or less pissed off than it always did.
“So how long have you, like, known?” Phoebe asked.
“Hey, you can’t ask something so personal out of the–”
“It’s alright, Simon.” Dani set her hand on his shoulder. “It’s what we were talking about before you got here. I told her anything is fair game.” She floated her hand back to her lap.
Simon took a deep breath. “Oh, sorry.”
That’s so unlike her, though. Dani is timid and doesn’t like sharing things about herself. Did Phoebe push until she gave in?
No. Dani looks happy and relaxed. If she didn’t want to share then it would be written all over her face.
“I guess I’ve known since at least early high school, though I never imagined I would actually go through with it.” She didn’t sound perfectly secure in her answer, but she was making good eye contact with the two of them.
Something changed. What could have happened while she was chopping vegetables that made her so much more confident? Or was it something that happened just before I got upstairs? Or is it something Mom said? Is it just because it’s Phoebe?
“It sucks your parents probably made it so much harder to discover yourself,” Phoebe said. She was half-leaning out the side of the chair closest to them. “But it looks like everything worked out.”
Dani hesitated before speaking again.
Did she run out of steam? I can’t believe how personal Phoebe is making this. Catching up is one thing but I doubt she signed up to spill every deep bit of trauma she’s gone through.
After a couple of seconds, Dani responded. “It… could be better. But yeah, I’m happy now at least. Thanks again to all of you guys for letting me come here.”
She’s happy now.
The words were so simple but rang clear through Simon’s head. He wondered if that was the real cause for her new confidence.
Is she unhappy that often? Or does she mean in general?
Simon looked at his roommate smiling next to him and sighed.
Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it.
He did his best to match her smile and tried to enjoy the moment with two people he cared about.
She’s happy now.
***
The smell of turkey and gravy engulfed the entire house. In the garage, Ryan sat on the concrete step leading to the inner door and stared at all the beer his family brought. The ones in the fridge were already burned through and he was tasked with getting more.
They can wait a bit longer, he thought. The motor oil smell wasn’t preferable to turkey but it was at least something new. Something that could shake him out of the funk he found himself in. Something that separated him from the rest of them.
Heather. My cousin. How did I forget her? What’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with this family!
The more he dwelled on what he learned about his family, the more he wanted to get away from them. To cut every tie between them and run to the other side of the country.
Inside, the food was being brought to the dining table and the rowdy drunken laughter was getting drunker and rowdier. If any of them could tell Ryan was growing to hate them, they didn’t make it apparent.
He grabbed a beer bottle from a random pack and cracked it open on the same step he sat on. Within a few seconds he downed half of it and considered finishing. Even if he had to be around his family, he didn’t have to be mentally present.
Behind him, the door swung into his back. Thankfully it was a gentle poke and he kept his balance.
“My bad!” Abby’s voice said. “Wondering where you ran off to, that’s all.”
Ryan stood up and let her open the door completely. As she joined him in the garage, he grabbed another beer and offered it to her. “I’m just cooling off. The house gets pretty hot with all those people, the oven, everything like that.”
Abby took the beer and smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Sorry if my kids gave you a headache or–”
“No! No, they’re fine, I swear.” Ryan looked down at the half-empty bottle in his hand and swirled it around. “I mean they’re young, of course they’re gonna run around. And we’re all family, so…”
He noticed a twinge of sadness in Abby’s eyes. The same one he caught earlier when mentioning Heather. It was replaced with a smile within moments.
So I’m not crazy.
“Thanks,” she said before kneeling down and popping open the bottle cap on the step, the same way Ryan had.
It reminded him of all the fun times they had as kids. Sneaking away from Christmas gifts to open a beer when they were in high school, or making fun of how stuck in their ways the whole family was, even if they agreed on most things.
“Speaking of,” Ryan said. He wasn’t sure how he would get there but he knew it had to happen, and it could be his only shot. “Do you have any way to contact Heather?”
Abby looked at him in total bewilderment.
“Sorry if that’s a touchy subject, I just figured that… Well she’s still family, right? It’d be nice to catch up with her.”
Abby set her beer down on a cluttered tool bench and walked up to Ryan. “You really mean that?” She whispered, her eyes getting glossy.
“Yeah, of course.” Ryan wondered if he would regret bringing it up.
“Alright,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Promise not to tell anyone in there, though. And never tell them I’m the one who gave you her number. You swear?”
Ryan felt a rush of adrenaline go through him. He had kept small secrets from his family before, stuff like drinking underage, skipping a class or two, having more girlfriends than he let on. But for the first time he was going against them. He pulled out his own phone, eager to enter his long lost cousin’s phone number.
“I do.”
Announcement Read four chapters ahead, as well as two exclusive bonus chapters, blog posts about future projects, and polls, over on my Patreon!
All was not well in the book nook. Simon could hear Dani speaking with someone else, and that meant one of two things. She was either on the phone with someone, who would either be her parents harassing her or Ryan flirting with her. Or it meant she was talking to one of his family members.
Of the two, he wasn’t sure which he preferred.
If it’s my little cousins they might be asking her weird questions. I doubt they’ve met a trans person before, and they’re too young to have any tact! This was supposed to be a good day for her, how could I have let this happen?
His feet got lighter as his urgency grew and he neared the top of the steps.
“Hey Dani,” he said before he could see her. “Are you up here?”
From the nook, a voice called back. One that wasn’t Dani’s. “Oh great, your babysitter found us.” It was his sister, Phoebe.
Oh. It’s just her. At least she wouldn’t ask anything inappropriate. But now I have to worry about a whole new set of problems.
Simon and his sister rarely got along. Phoebe was older than him and spent their childhood reminding him of that fact whenever possible. From telling him fibs about serial killers and monsters that lurked outside, to hogging the extra car once they could both drive, she never gave Simon much of a break. He would sometimes joke they weren’t related, seeing as her hair was a lot darker than his and she never broke five-eleven, making her the shortest in their house. He knew it wasn’t true, though, as they both had the same lanky figure, quiet temperament, and their father’s larger nose.
This resulted in a splintered sibling relationship where they looked after each other and cared for each other but never spoke openly or confided real emotion into one another. It also led to Phoebe always squeezing information about Simon through Dani whenever she could.
“Yeah I’m in here, Simon.” Dani’s voice was light and not as anxious as Simon was expecting. “Do you need anything?”
At least she ignored that babysitter comment.
Finally at the top of the stairs, he turned the corner and found himself in the familiar reading corner. Two tall bookshelves filled to the brim with children’s stories, encyclopedias, classic novels, and family photo albums defined the space. Between them, a small white couch Dani occupied half of and a red leather chair his sister sat in were placed next to each other, separated only by a coffee table with an old lamp and a picture frame with a photo of his grandparents inside. It held fond memories for Simon, who had spent a whole summer when he was little reading through the encyclopedias and telling his grandma and grandpa fun facts he had learned from them. It was a welcome distraction from the reality of why he and his sister spent a few months living in the house while their parents sorted out their separation. Even Phoebe was nicer to him that summer.
If only she had stayed that way…
Both Dani and his sister were staring at him, as if the only reason he would interrupt them was to deliver some news and then wander away again.
“Oh, hey.” He had no idea what he could say that wouldn’t come across as awkward murmurings. “I was wondering where you were, making sure you were okay.” His speech slowed down as he realized how honest he was being.
“She’s fine, we were just catching up.” Phoebe sounded annoyed, though she always carried that tone.
Simon wasn’t convinced that everything would be alright, but Dani was at least not feeling anxious for the time being. “Sorry, I can leave you two alone.”
“You can join us,” Dani said before Simon could leave. She patted the empty half of the couch next to her. “It’s nice to have all three of us in the same room again.”
Does she really want to hang out with me or does she just pity me?
Simon decided he didn’t care and accepted his place on the cushy sofa. “Yeah, I’m sure people will talk all through and after dinner, so now’s our only shot at some quiet.” He tried to work out if Phoebe was upset at his intrusion but her face looked no more or less pissed off than it always did.
“So how long have you, like, known?” Phoebe asked.
“Hey, you can’t ask something so personal out of the–”
“It’s alright, Simon.” Dani set her hand on his shoulder. “It’s what we were talking about before you got here. I told her anything is fair game.” She floated her hand back to her lap.
Simon took a deep breath. “Oh, sorry.”
That’s so unlike her, though. Dani is timid and doesn’t like sharing things about herself. Did Phoebe push until she gave in?
No. Dani looks happy and relaxed. If she didn’t want to share then it would be written all over her face.
“I guess I’ve known since at least early high school, though I never imagined I would actually go through with it.” She didn’t sound perfectly secure in her answer, but she was making good eye contact with the two of them.
Something changed. What could have happened while she was chopping vegetables that made her so much more confident? Or was it something that happened just before I got upstairs? Or is it something Mom said? Is it just because it’s Phoebe?
“It sucks your parents probably made it so much harder to discover yourself,” Phoebe said. She was half-leaning out the side of the chair closest to them. “But it looks like everything worked out.”
Dani hesitated before speaking again.
Did she run out of steam? I can’t believe how personal Phoebe is making this. Catching up is one thing but I doubt she signed up to spill every deep bit of trauma she’s gone through.
After a couple of seconds, Dani responded. “It… could be better. But yeah, I’m happy now at least. Thanks again to all of you guys for letting me come here.”
She’s happy now.
The words were so simple but rang clear through Simon’s head. He wondered if that was the real cause for her new confidence.
Is she unhappy that often? Or does she mean in general?
Simon looked at his roommate smiling next to him and sighed.
Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it.
He did his best to match her smile and tried to enjoy the moment with two people he cared about.
She’s happy now.
***
The smell of turkey and gravy engulfed the entire house. In the garage, Ryan sat on the concrete step leading to the inner door and stared at all the beer his family brought. The ones in the fridge were already burned through and he was tasked with getting more.
They can wait a bit longer, he thought. The motor oil smell wasn’t preferable to turkey but it was at least something new. Something that could shake him out of the funk he found himself in. Something that separated him from the rest of them.
Heather. My cousin. How did I forget her? What’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with this family!
The more he dwelled on what he learned about his family, the more he wanted to get away from them. To cut every tie between them and run to the other side of the country.
Inside, the food was being brought to the dining table and the rowdy drunken laughter was getting drunker and rowdier. If any of them could tell Ryan was growing to hate them, they didn’t make it apparent.
He grabbed a beer bottle from a random pack and cracked it open on the same step he sat on. Within a few seconds he downed half of it and considered finishing. Even if he had to be around his family, he didn’t have to be mentally present.
Behind him, the door swung into his back. Thankfully it was a gentle poke and he kept his balance.
“My bad!” Abby’s voice said. “Wondering where you ran off to, that’s all.”
Ryan stood up and let her open the door completely. As she joined him in the garage, he grabbed another beer and offered it to her. “I’m just cooling off. The house gets pretty hot with all those people, the oven, everything like that.”
Abby took the beer and smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Sorry if my kids gave you a headache or–”
“No! No, they’re fine, I swear.” Ryan looked down at the half-empty bottle in his hand and swirled it around. “I mean they’re young, of course they’re gonna run around. And we’re all family, so…”
He noticed a twinge of sadness in Abby’s eyes. The same one he caught earlier when mentioning Heather. It was replaced with a smile within moments.
So I’m not crazy.
“Thanks,” she said before kneeling down and popping open the bottle cap on the step, the same way Ryan had.
It reminded him of all the fun times they had as kids. Sneaking away from Christmas gifts to open a beer when they were in high school, or making fun of how stuck in their ways the whole family was, even if they agreed on most things.
“Speaking of,” Ryan said. He wasn’t sure how he would get there but he knew it had to happen, and it could be his only shot. “Do you have any way to contact Heather?”
Abby looked at him in total bewilderment.
“Sorry if that’s a touchy subject, I just figured that… Well she’s still family, right? It’d be nice to catch up with her.”
Abby set her beer down on a cluttered tool bench and walked up to Ryan. “You really mean that?” She whispered, her eyes getting glossy.
“Yeah, of course.” Ryan wondered if he would regret bringing it up.
“Alright,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Promise not to tell anyone in there, though. And never tell them I’m the one who gave you her number. You swear?”
Ryan felt a rush of adrenaline go through him. He had kept small secrets from his family before, stuff like drinking underage, skipping a class or two, having more girlfriends than he let on. But for the first time he was going against them. He pulled out his own phone, eager to enter his long lost cousin’s phone number.
“I do.”
Announcement Read four chapters ahead, as well as two exclusive bonus chapters, blog posts about future projects, and polls, over on my Patreon!