Chapter 138: Hundred And Thirty Eight: Thoughts In My Head
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Chapter hundred and thirty eight: Thoughts in my head
Even though it was still daylight, Alexander and Jamie lay on her bed together with Jamie facing the window and Alexander holding her from behind.
Many thoughts raced through her mind. But mostly, she wondered if she would ever ask her father about what she saw. And will she be able to accept her new truth?
Then she also thought about her banished mother, why nobody made an effort to locate her, not even her.
Jamie worried about her siblings too, will the unearthing of the truth affect Elliott and Arabella too? Was Jared keeping something from them that had the ability to shatter their hearts too?
"Arabella didn't run away from you" Jamie wondered why it took her this much time to tell her husband the truth. Maybe because a tiny part of her thinks he would want Arabella back because she was more beautiful.
But Jamie knew now first hand what lies can do to people in a relationship.
"Why are we discussing your sister? You don't need to defend her, I am not angry anymore that she ran away" Alexander told her truthfully.
"Bella didn't run from you. She was kidnapped by Lady Melvin with the help of her former lady's maid, your highness" Jamie waited for his reaction and she was right. It came.
Alexander stood up from the bed in a flash. His eyebrows pulled together and his nose flared, it wasn't a secret that he was infuriated.
"What do you mean by that?!"
Jamie sat up and looked at him. No one said telling the truth would be easy.
"After I returned to Namura, I found Bella here. She was different, Alexander. She was hurt and... broken. She hadn't said a word in weeks since she returned and she kept to herself. She had told our father about her ordeal but he chose not to believe her, king Jared didn't want to go to war with you"
Then she added sarcastically "King Jared had a lot to lose....he chose power over his flesh and blood. It further drove bella into her shell"
Alexander was silent for a while. He simply looked out the window. Jamie went to him and hugged him from behind. Alexander turned around and looked at her. She thought it meant he was accepting of the news and Jamie kissed him.
Alexander blinked.
"How long have you known about this?" His eyes were fixed on hers.
"For a while...I was going to do something about it. I still will even if lady Melvin is your cousin" Jamie told him.
Alexander held her jaw gently and made her look at him.
"I love you..."
Jamie smiled but Alexander wasn't finished "But you are selfish, Janessa"
Alexander tried to walk out but Jamie stopped him. "Stop right this second!"
Alexander had no idea why but he did.
"In this family, we don't walk out on each other in the middle of a conversation" Jamie told him.
Alexander turned around to face her "Yet it's somehow alright for you to lie to my face?"
"And you haven't lied to me before?" Jamie asked him.
"No. I let you run with the bad assumption you made about me but you? My wife was kidnapped and you kept it to yourself!" Alexander was angry.
"I am your wife!" Jamie reminded him.
"Not without the binding ceremony, you are not....at least legally. But do you know who is by law still my wife since she didn't run from me?"
"Bella" Jamie whispered.
"If you had told me soon, I would have had the marriage annulled and have lady Melvin punished. I would have apologized to Arabella for failing her"
Alexander turned around and tried to leave but Jamie spoke to him.
"I think I was afraid that you would want Arabella back. She is more beautiful" it was a whisper. It was an acknowledgement of her deepest fear.
"Beauty never mattered to me before until I met you, Alexander"
The king turned around and faced her.
"But I love you, not Bella. I am always going to choose you, Janessa. But you can't ever lie to me again. I want to see Bella... now" he demanded.
"She married the duke of kyre. She is happy now. And father had your marriage annulled since you never slept with her"
Alexander relaxed just a little bit.
"I misjudged her. I want to apologize and inform her that every offender will be punished. Because if a lad did that to my sister....and just assumed that she ran away from her marriage but she was in fact kidnapped, I will take his head. Your brother's anger is justified. I shall apologize to him at once"
Jamie hugged him tightly.
"You don't have to do that" Jamie reminded him.
"I know but I want to"
Alexander hugged her back. He could never stay angry at her for long.
"Make Love to me, Alexander. I want you" Jamie unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. She kissed him again below the nipples. She thought she was making him feel good until she heard him say something.
"No"
Jamie stopped and looked at him.
"No? You don't want me?"
Alexander grabbed her face.
She could only focus on how soft he felt against her mouth, how addictively he invaded all her senses.
There was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around hers. Alexander kept his eyes half open, sneaking a peek at her every time he came back for air. This was a teaching moment and he wanted to be sure she was learning
Every breath he took smelled like jasmine and If anything, the warm feeling of her breath that was although destabilizing, was inviting too.
It took everything he had to pull away from his wife.
"Does that answer your question?"
"Yes, you want me too. Have me, then Alexander" Jamie tried to kiss his chest but he stopped her.
"What is it, Alex?" Jamie yelled in frustration.
"I am a werewolf! That is not going away anything soon and I can't make you drink the portion, my mistresses drink before I have sex with them to prevent pregnancy because you are my wife and I love you" Alexander was sad.
"You are afraid that I don't want to carry your offspring?" Jamie was puzzled.
"They will be like me. And I can't take the chance that you won't love them unconditionally" Alexander told her and walked out the door.
"But I do..." Jamie murmured to herself. "It's what I have been trying to tell you but you won't let me say it...hell, I won't let myself say it but I love you too, Alexander. You are the werewolf I am in love with"
Jamie proclaimed her love but Alexander was long gone.
Alexander made his way to the fighting grounds. Even though he had never been to Namura before, he knew that every castle had one and it was always most definitely found in the western corner of the castle. This castle was not different.
He found his brother in law fighting alone with thin air.
Elliott ignored the king as long as he could. Alexander didn't try to make him do otherwise.
He just watched him. The lad had skills, almost as good as him.
"You are a good fighter, Elliott!" Alexander commented.
Elliott stopped and stared at the man who destroyed his family. He could ignore him or he could say something crushing like "Who gave you permission to call me by my name, your Highness"
Alexander relaxed, he was expecting this from him. He was prepared for the hostility emanating from his brother in law and he would rather stay there with his hostile brother than go back to his wife. He couldn't believe that he just told his wife to her face that she would be a terrible mother to their imaginary children. It was a genius move and Alexander wanted to shoot himself.
"I just told your sister that she will make a bad mother to our children" Alexander told Elliot.
Elliott dimmed his eyes.
"Are you trying to make me hit you?" He asked king Alexander.
The king shrugged "Maybe. The good gods knows I deserve it"
Elliott laughed. It was genuine.
"You are a strange man, your highness. But sorry to disappoint you but I don't see my sister as a mother either, she is too.... Jamie for that"
"We are both wrong. She would make an excellent mother" Alexander said at last.
"Then why did you say that she would make a bad mother in the first place?" Elliott was curious.
"Maybe because I wasn't talking about her...I don't think I will make a good father to our children, Elliott" Alexander shocked even himself by saying.
"Why are you telling me this?" Elliott dropped his sword and watched him.
"Because you are my brother, isn't it how it works? I have never had a brother before. But I hear we are supposed to tell each other things" Alexander went to the corner and picked up Elliott's sword and threw it to him and he caught it.
"Then in the spirit of telling each other our deep dark thoughts, I should tell you I fantasize about beating you up for wrecking my family" Elliott told him.
Alexander picked up a sword and weighed it.
"Then take a swing at me, brother"
Elliott did.
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Chapter hundred and thirty eight: Thoughts in my head
Even though it was still daylight, Alexander and Jamie lay on her bed together with Jamie facing the window and Alexander holding her from behind.
Many thoughts raced through her mind. But mostly, she wondered if she would ever ask her father about what she saw. And will she be able to accept her new truth?
Then she also thought about her banished mother, why nobody made an effort to locate her, not even her.
Jamie worried about her siblings too, will the unearthing of the truth affect Elliott and Arabella too? Was Jared keeping something from them that had the ability to shatter their hearts too?
"Arabella didn't run away from you" Jamie wondered why it took her this much time to tell her husband the truth. Maybe because a tiny part of her thinks he would want Arabella back because she was more beautiful.
But Jamie knew now first hand what lies can do to people in a relationship.
"Why are we discussing your sister? You don't need to defend her, I am not angry anymore that she ran away" Alexander told her truthfully.
"Bella didn't run from you. She was kidnapped by Lady Melvin with the help of her former lady's maid, your highness" Jamie waited for his reaction and she was right. It came.
Alexander stood up from the bed in a flash. His eyebrows pulled together and his nose flared, it wasn't a secret that he was infuriated.
"What do you mean by that?!"
Jamie sat up and looked at him. No one said telling the truth would be easy.
"After I returned to Namura, I found Bella here. She was different, Alexander. She was hurt and... broken. She hadn't said a word in weeks since she returned and she kept to herself. She had told our father about her ordeal but he chose not to believe her, king Jared didn't want to go to war with you"
Then she added sarcastically "King Jared had a lot to lose....he chose power over his flesh and blood. It further drove bella into her shell"
Alexander was silent for a while. He simply looked out the window. Jamie went to him and hugged him from behind. Alexander turned around and looked at her. She thought it meant he was accepting of the news and Jamie kissed him.
Alexander blinked.
"How long have you known about this?" His eyes were fixed on hers.
"For a while...I was going to do something about it. I still will even if lady Melvin is your cousin" Jamie told him.
Alexander held her jaw gently and made her look at him.
"I love you..."
Jamie smiled but Alexander wasn't finished "But you are selfish, Janessa"
Alexander tried to walk out but Jamie stopped him. "Stop right this second!"
Alexander had no idea why but he did.
"In this family, we don't walk out on each other in the middle of a conversation" Jamie told him.
Alexander turned around to face her "Yet it's somehow alright for you to lie to my face?"
"And you haven't lied to me before?" Jamie asked him.
"No. I let you run with the bad assumption you made about me but you? My wife was kidnapped and you kept it to yourself!" Alexander was angry.
"I am your wife!" Jamie reminded him.
"Not without the binding ceremony, you are not....at least legally. But do you know who is by law still my wife since she didn't run from me?"
"Bella" Jamie whispered.
"If you had told me soon, I would have had the marriage annulled and have lady Melvin punished. I would have apologized to Arabella for failing her"
Alexander turned around and tried to leave but Jamie spoke to him.
"I think I was afraid that you would want Arabella back. She is more beautiful" it was a whisper. It was an acknowledgement of her deepest fear.
"Beauty never mattered to me before until I met you, Alexander"
The king turned around and faced her.
"But I love you, not Bella. I am always going to choose you, Janessa. But you can't ever lie to me again. I want to see Bella... now" he demanded.
"She married the duke of kyre. She is happy now. And father had your marriage annulled since you never slept with her"
Alexander relaxed just a little bit.
"I misjudged her. I want to apologize and inform her that every offender will be punished. Because if a lad did that to my sister....and just assumed that she ran away from her marriage but she was in fact kidnapped, I will take his head. Your brother's anger is justified. I shall apologize to him at once"
Jamie hugged him tightly.
"You don't have to do that" Jamie reminded him.
"I know but I want to"
Alexander hugged her back. He could never stay angry at her for long.
"Make Love to me, Alexander. I want you" Jamie unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. She kissed him again below the nipples. She thought she was making him feel good until she heard him say something.
"No"
Jamie stopped and looked at him.
"No? You don't want me?"
Alexander grabbed her face.
She could only focus on how soft he felt against her mouth, how addictively he invaded all her senses.
There was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around hers. Alexander kept his eyes half open, sneaking a peek at her every time he came back for air. This was a teaching moment and he wanted to be sure she was learning
Every breath he took smelled like jasmine and If anything, the warm feeling of her breath that was although destabilizing, was inviting too.
It took everything he had to pull away from his wife.
"Does that answer your question?"
"Yes, you want me too. Have me, then Alexander" Jamie tried to kiss his chest but he stopped her.
"What is it, Alex?" Jamie yelled in frustration.
"I am a werewolf! That is not going away anything soon and I can't make you drink the portion, my mistresses drink before I have sex with them to prevent pregnancy because you are my wife and I love you" Alexander was sad.
"You are afraid that I don't want to carry your offspring?" Jamie was puzzled.
"They will be like me. And I can't take the chance that you won't love them unconditionally" Alexander told her and walked out the door.
"But I do..." Jamie murmured to herself. "It's what I have been trying to tell you but you won't let me say it...hell, I won't let myself say it but I love you too, Alexander. You are the werewolf I am in love with"
Jamie proclaimed her love but Alexander was long gone.
Alexander made his way to the fighting grounds. Even though he had never been to Namura before, he knew that every castle had one and it was always most definitely found in the western corner of the castle. This castle was not different.
He found his brother in law fighting alone with thin air.
Elliott ignored the king as long as he could. Alexander didn't try to make him do otherwise.
He just watched him. The lad had skills, almost as good as him.
"You are a good fighter, Elliott!" Alexander commented.
Elliott stopped and stared at the man who destroyed his family. He could ignore him or he could say something crushing like "Who gave you permission to call me by my name, your Highness"
Alexander relaxed, he was expecting this from him. He was prepared for the hostility emanating from his brother in law and he would rather stay there with his hostile brother than go back to his wife. He couldn't believe that he just told his wife to her face that she would be a terrible mother to their imaginary children. It was a genius move and Alexander wanted to shoot himself.
"I just told your sister that she will make a bad mother to our children" Alexander told Elliot.
Elliott dimmed his eyes.
"Are you trying to make me hit you?" He asked king Alexander.
The king shrugged "Maybe. The good gods knows I deserve it"
Elliott laughed. It was genuine.
"You are a strange man, your highness. But sorry to disappoint you but I don't see my sister as a mother either, she is too.... Jamie for that"
"We are both wrong. She would make an excellent mother" Alexander said at last.
"Then why did you say that she would make a bad mother in the first place?" Elliott was curious.
"Maybe because I wasn't talking about her...I don't think I will make a good father to our children, Elliott" Alexander shocked even himself by saying.
"Why are you telling me this?" Elliott dropped his sword and watched him.
"Because you are my brother, isn't it how it works? I have never had a brother before. But I hear we are supposed to tell each other things" Alexander went to the corner and picked up Elliott's sword and threw it to him and he caught it.
"Then in the spirit of telling each other our deep dark thoughts, I should tell you I fantasize about beating you up for wrecking my family" Elliott told him.
Alexander picked up a sword and weighed it.
"Then take a swing at me, brother"
Elliott did.
Chapter hundred and thirty eight: Thoughts in my headEven though it was still daylight, Alexander and Jamie lay on her bed together with Jamie facing the window and Alexander holding her from behind.Many thoughts raced through her mind. But mostly, she wondered if she would ever ask her father about what she saw. And will she be able to accept her new truth?Then she also thought about her banished mother, why nobody made an effort to locate her, not even her.Jamie worried about her siblings too, will the unearthing of the truth affect Elliott and Arabella too? Was Jared keeping something from them that had the ability to shatter their hearts too?"Arabella didn't run away from you" Jamie wondered why it took her this much time to tell her husband the truth. Maybe because a tiny part of her thinks he would want Arabella back because she was more beautiful.But Jamie knew now first hand what lies can do to people in a relationship."Why are we discussing your sister? You don't need to defend her, I am not angry anymore that she ran away" Alexander told her truthfully."Bella didn't run from you. She was kidnapped by Lady Melvin with the help of her former lady's maid, your highness" Jamie waited for his reaction and she was right. It came.Alexander stood up from the bed in a flash. His eyebrows pulled together and his nose flared, it wasn't a secret that he was infuriated."What do you mean by that?!"Jamie sat up and looked at him. No one said telling the truth would be easy."After I returned to Namura, I found Bella here. She was different, Alexander. She was hurt and... broken. She hadn't said a word in weeks since she returned and she kept to herself. She had told our father about her ordeal but he chose not to believe her, king Jared didn't want to go to war with you" Then she added sarcastically "King Jared had a lot to lose....he chose power over his flesh and blood. It further drove bella into her shell"Alexander was silent for a while. He simply looked out the window. Jamie went to him and hugged him from behind. Alexander turned around and looked at her. She thought it meant he was accepting of the news and Jamie kissed him.Alexander blinked."How long have you known about this?" His eyes were fixed on hers."For a while...I was going to do something about it. I still will even if lady Melvin is your cousin" Jamie told him.Alexander held her jaw gently and made her look at him."I love you..."Jamie smiled but Alexander wasn't finished "But you are selfish, Janessa"Alexander tried to walk out but Jamie stopped him. "Stop right this second!"Alexander had no idea why but he did."In this family, we don't walk out on each other in the middle of a conversation" Jamie told him.Alexander turned around to face her "Yet it's somehow alright for you to lie to my face?""And you haven't lied to me before?" Jamie asked him."No. I let you run with the bad assumption you made about me but you? My wife was kidnapped and you kept it to yourself!" Alexander was angry."I am your wife!" Jamie reminded him."Not without the binding ceremony, you are not....at least legally. But do you know who is by law still my wife since she didn't run from me?""Bella" Jamie whispered."If you had told me soon, I would have had the marriage annulled and have lady Melvin punished. I would have apologized to Arabella for failing her"Alexander turned around and tried to leave but Jamie spoke to him."I think I was afraid that you would want Arabella back. She is more beautiful" it was a whisper. It was an acknowledgement ofher deepest fear."Beauty never mattered to me before until I met you, Alexander"The king turned around and faced her."But I love you, not Bella. I am always going to choose you, Janessa. But you can't ever lie to me again. I want to see Bella... now" he demanded."She married the duke of kyre. She is happy now. And father had your marriage annulled since you never slept with her"Alexander relaxed just a little bit."I misjudged her. I want to apologize and inform her that every offender will be punished. Because if a lad did that to my sister....and just assumed that she ran away from her marriage but she was in fact kidnapped, I will take his head. Your brother's anger is justified. I shall apologize to him at once"Jamie hugged him tightly."You don't have to do that" Jamie reminded him."I know but I want to"Alexander hugged her back. He could never stay angry at her for long."Make Love to me, Alexander. I want you" Jamie unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. She kissed him again below the nipples. She thought she was making him feel good until she heard him say something."No"Jamie stopped and looked at him."No? You don't want me?"Alexander grabbed her face.She could only focus on how soft he felt against her mouth, how addictively he invaded all her senses.There was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around hers. Alexander kept his eyes half open, sneaking a peek at her every time he came back for air. This was a teaching moment and he wanted to be sure she was learningEvery breath he took smelled like jasmine and If anything, the warm feeling of her breath that was although destabilizing, was inviting too.It took everything he had to pull away from his wife."Does that answer your question?""Yes, you want me too. Have me, then Alexander" Jamie tried to kiss his chest but he stopped her."What is it, Alex?" Jamie yelled in frustration."I am a werewolf! That is not going away anything soon and I can't make you drink the portion, my mistresses drink before I have sex with them to prevent pregnancy because you are my wife and I love you" Alexander was sad."You are afraid that I don't want to carry your offspring?" Jamie was puzzled."They will be like me. And I can't take the chance that you won't love them unconditionally" Alexander told her and walked out the door."But I do..." Jamie murmured to herself. "It's what I have been trying to tell you but you won't let me say it...hell, I won't let myself say it but I love you too, Alexander. You are the werewolf I am in love with"Jamie proclaimed her love but Alexander was long gone.Alexander made his way to the fighting grounds. Even though he had never been to Namura before, he knew that every castle had one and it was always most definitely found in the western corner of the castle. This castle was not different.He found his brother in law fighting alone with thin air.Elliott ignored the king as long as he could. Alexander didn't try to make him do otherwise.He just watched him. The lad had skills, almost as good as him."You are a good fighter, Elliott!" Alexander commented.Elliott stopped and stared at the man who destroyed his family. He could ignore him or he could say something crushing like "Who gave you permission to call me by my name, your Highness"Alexander relaxed, he was expecting this from him. He was prepared for the hostility emanating from his brother in law and he would rather stay there with his hostile brother than go back to his wife. He couldn't believe that he just told his wife to her face that she would be a terrible mother to their imaginary children. It was a genius move and Alexander wanted to shoot himself."I just told your sister that she will make a bad mother to our children" Alexander told Elliot.Elliott dimmed his eyes."Are you trying to make me hit you?" He asked king Alexander.The king shrugged "Maybe. The good gods knows I deserve it"Elliott laughed. It was genuine."You are a strange man, your highness. But sorry to disappoint you but I don't see my sister as a mother either, she is too.... Jamie for that""We are both wrong. She would make an excellent mother" Alexander said at last."Then why did you say that she would make a bad mother in the first place?" Elliott was curious."Maybe because I wasn't talking about her...I don't think I will make a good father to our children, Elliott" Alexander shocked even himself by saying."Why are you telling me this?" Elliott dropped his sword and watched him."Because you are my brother, isn't it how it works? I have never had a brother before. But I hear we are supposed to tell each other things" Alexander went to the corner and picked up Elliott's sword and threw it to him and he caught it."Then in the spirit of telling each other our deep dark thoughts, I should tell you I fantasize about beating you up for wrecking my family" Elliott told him.Alexander picked up a sword and weighed it."Then take a swing at me, brother"Elliott did.
